Monday, February 07, 2011
Thursday - didn't track, did well.
Friday - tracked everything except dinner, did well.
Saturday - didn't track anything, did okayyyy....
Saturday - started a tracking, but didn't add everything, and then went haywire mid day.
OK! I NEED TO TRACK! I GET IT!
It would have helped me a LOT yesterday had I actually been entering what I was eating, but I didn't, and I just kept eating. At least I kept it light at dinner - my explosion was kinda mid-afternoon. Lunch just kept going - Sandwich, then some little treat thing, and another, and then a pear, and then later popcorn. And then I finally stopped. And salad for dinner - granted it was buffalo chicken salad, so it wasn't a super healthy salad, but I kept the dressing very light so it was just the premade boneless buffalo wing nugget things that were less healthy. And a bit of a dessert they had for dinner.
So anyway - yesterday was crazy go nuts.
I just tracked everything I think I will eat today and I came in within range, so I really just need to make sure I stay on track on the weekends - weekdays are MUCH easier for me.
1) I want to eat when I'm bored.
2) I want to eat when I have stress/anxiety
You'd think #2 wouldn't be a factor on the weekends, but sometimes it still is.
Also I missed my last workout last weekend because there was no opportunity for me to get to the gym during pool hours. Should be able to do it this weekend though, and I definitely surpassed my 2000 calorie a week burn goal last week anyway. Although given how my eating went, I would have liked to get in more of a burn.
I have a REALLY HARD TIME with messing up!
LET ME JUST SAY THAT NOW! I beat myself up a lot. But I try not too -- but then I think, well if I don't feel bad about it or take it seriously, how do I learn not to do it again next time?
Just now typing that out makes me realize that the GUILT and the BEATING UP doesn't help me learn not to do it next time, it just makes me feel like crap. The learning comes from thinking about how I made those decisions and how I can avoid making them again in the future. Right???
SO! What happened this weekend?
1. I was feeling anxious about not having tracked my calories on Saturday. I don't like not knowing!
2. I was feeling anxious about my sister leaving and lonely because my husband was sleeping.
3. I avoided tracking to face what I ate during the lonely and anxious time.
I gotta learn how to recognize signs BEFORE I make the poor choices - but then again, I think the best way to keep me from making them is to make sure I keep tracking. I will definitely still allow a splurge MEAL once a week, I know I did no tracking at all on my birthday this time - I think I was too easy on myself. I should have picked a meal to splurge on and called it a day. I can do that for other special occasions as well - eat healthy the other two meals of the day and splurge one meal, and that meal be the only one for the week.
I asked my husband before to help me if I was going to make a poor food choice by subtly and secretly asking me if my body really wanted that food. That has not gone over so well. HAHA I asked for it, but I realize it makes me feel rebellious and upset. I have now asked for a different kind of help - asking me about tracking things. Did I track my food today, etc. That is less charged I think, and getting me thinking about tracking my food will help me make better choices on my own instead of being questioned on a particular choice.
I think it's good for me to ask for help - this is better than him being more like a food police. HAHAHA. But still helpful. But again, this only helps if he's THERE. I need to learn how to be strong on my own so I'm not dependent on someone triggering those thoughts FOR me. It all really goes back to mindful eating. I'm still trying to learn this!!! I'm good at it sometimes (felt really in control Thursday, Friday....) but then other times not so much. It's a work in progress!!!
My mother posted a great quote on her blog that really hit me so I must share it:
"There are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts . . . Face your doubts, Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland - one of the General Authorities from my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)
So we know that we make a good choice and we let doubts and anxieties and fears lead us away from the right path. I think the cautions and considerations in this path are not to become obsessed with the numbers to become restrictive and punitive toward myself about food, but I cannot use those cautions to prevent me from taking the good actions that I need to in order to succeed, which is TRACKING MY FOOD! I KNOW that this works for me, it has worked in the past, and I can MAINTAIN while not tracking, but losing weight requires me to be diligent in tracking my food.
I also had a great insight for spiritual progress during church on Sunday. We had a lesson about Faith, and it has been discussed before in my life that faith must be EXERCISED to be strong and that it grows, like a muscle. But that was BEFORE I ever exercised! The teacher talked about how we make plans to exercise because otherwise other things may get in the way and prevent us from acheiving our goals, and encouraged us to make an exercise plan for our faith.
And I was like - *DINGDINGDING*
I thought of it like marathon training, and here's what I've come up with.
Daily prayer and scripture study are like the daily regular run - a little 3-5 miler that is there to keep you running. (Granted when running not all of us run every day, but it is important to have these things in our life every day!)
Then I extended the metaphor:
Speedwork - exists in training to push you to stretch and grow and improve. We have a program in our group here that creates a goal book for the women's organization (Relief Society). There is a program in the Young Women's organization called "Personal Progress" that the young women work to achieve various goals and receive a pendant for completing all the goals for a certain level, and when they achieve ALL of them, there is another special pendant. Well, my RS group last year did charm bracelets. :) I'm not sure if there are charm bracelets as the reward this year, but this is not a standard program across the entire church. Just something that the church sisters here felt inspired to create and I think it's very cool.
SO ANYWAY - working toward these goals will be my speedwork.
Weekly Long Run - Regular church attendance.
Races + the Marathon -- we undertake these small goals so that we can succeed at a larger goal. I feel like temple attendance is like the Marathon - the end all be all of spiritual goals and learning. But we don't run a marathon every month, so I am also including fasting and Visiting Teaching (a program in my church where-in two sisters are paired together and visit other sisters in the group to give a spiritual lesson and see how they are doing) in this category. Like 5K's and 10K's. :) haha.
So then now that I had identified all the things I felt I should be doing, I realized I knew all this but putting it into this framework helped me to feel more motivated and invested somehow - but I needed to figure out WHEN and HOW I am going to accomplish the simple daily goal of reading scriptures and praying.
My sister had some good suggestions - she reads while eating breakfast and likes to listen to talks and other stuff while running. I can definitely download some stuff to listen to while aquajogging. I'm not sure I give myself enough time to do any real reading during breakfast, but I'm going try it. And I'm going to give myself the backup plan of reading at night before bed - I have a book light now (christmas present) so I should be able to manage that.
Tonight that'll have to be it since I didn't have time this morning. BIG BLOG.
Friday, February 04, 2011
I feel like I did well yesterday - I may have done more cake than I should have, but I recognized my full signals and didn't have any of the planned ice cream. :)
So the projector is fixed in the room we do our workouts in at work - so I will be resuming the planned 6PM Zumba time slot, starting yesterday. So I did my yoga BEFORE teaching Zumba - felt a little odd doing that in the back of the room while everyone was Zumbaing, but it was really best for me to do that.
There were not as many people as are often at the 5:30 time because of the weather - it was SUPPOSED to get bad, but it really didn't. Well - it did on one side of town, but not anywhere I went. And then some that might have stayed for the 6PM left after the DVD because it was supposed to get bad then... SO!
I had two students. :) hahaha But we had SO much fun - and one was a newbie to my class and she loved it and told me she's only going to come to my part and not do the DVD anymore, so that made me feel great. :)
I got gifted with RUNNING REHAB GEAR and socks from my DH and in-laws. :) Dinner was PF. Chang's inspired lettuce wraps and a jello/fruit concoction that was delicious and all very light and healthy to be followed by a nice RICH chocolate cake.
And then we watched FaceOff - the special effects makeup reality contest show on Sci-Fi (SyFy?) channel which is AMAZING so watch it.
Perfect day - I believe God blessed me with a perfect day for my birthday and blessed me with great family and friends in my life.
Here are the cool running related gifts I got:
I used this on my calves, hamstrings, IT bands, and shoulders last night- and a bit on my back - and it was AMAZING. PARTICULARLY for my calves, they never felt so good.
WAY more convenient to put on than my homemade version (Knee sock worn halfway off my leg + ace bandage at the top + safety pin toes of sock up to ace bandage - sooooo bootleg), and the compression of the sock I think really helped - felt GREAT this morning!
Foot RUBZ massage ball!
My beloved BALEGA socks!
I got a variety of them, 4 pairs. :) YAY! hehehe.
Finally here's a photo my friend took on her phone at work. We were playing around with the wrapping paper as a backdrop. You can see my bobby pin a bit - my one friend made me some cool bobby pins using shrinky dinks - that one has boba teas on it! :D SO CUTE! And I'm hugging the cool "Fearless Knitting" book I received, and wearing my robot earrings DH gave me that mornin, although you can't see them.
Monday, January 31, 2011
That's the name of my scale back Alabama team - Fattitude Adjustment. :D hehehe.
Anyway - I'm basing my loss off of my weight from last Wednesday morning for the Scale Back Alabama results, but I know the Saturday before last Monday what my weight was as well, and then I weighed again last Wednesday morning, the morning after Scale Back Weighins. SO!
From that Saturday weighin (a week and a couple days ago) I'm down 3lbs
From Wednesday, 1.5lbs.
Gotta stay on track to keep things moving! The scale was bumpin up and then going back down after last week's splurge meal (Thursday night BigBand dinner at the Officer's Club), but then went back down quickly to now show a nice loss since last Wednesday.
Today's plan is to go to yoga at lunch, the gym right after work (Aqua jogging - 2 sets 5x1:30 hard 30 easy, 2 min between sets, 5min wu/cd) because tonight is my knitting get together. :) Sooooo, late night probably won't really see the hubby much.
But over the weekend we talked out the week's dinner plans and did a quick grocery stop together w/ a short detailed list.
This Thursday is my birthday - the big 28! - and my sister is coming into town on Friday to spend the weekend with us for my birthday. :) YAY! There will be sushi making on Friday and Mongolian Buuz making on Saturday I think. I'm excited.
Zumba teaching starts on Tuesday, I'm way excited. I only have 3 choreo's so far, so I need at least 3 more I think. Well - I kind of already have an idea what I want to do for cooldown, so really just 2 more for the meat of the class, minimum. It's only supposed to be about 30 min long.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Big Band went great last night - if I ever get around to it I'll post the pictures my DH took of how ridiculous the shoulders/neck area of the jacket looked on me. And it was kind of bulky, too, not just big. There's a picture of me sitting down and I look awkwardly enormous but with a little head and skinny legs. HAHAHA.
Today is not a gym day, I will be doing some yoga and stretching at home. I'm looking forward to heading STRAIGHT HOME after work. :)
Tomorrow I need to get in an aquajogging workout at some point, but I'm just not sure when I'll be able to go. I still don't know about the whole swimming lessons situation. I think I'm gonna try to go in the morning and if the pool is a flop do something else, but at least I'll learn about the situation at that time of day. I have someone visiting me from church at 10:30AM, and then sometime after 11AM my friend from work is meeting me and we are going to go to this thrift store she found that has all clothing items $1! WOOT. She and another pal went there last weekend apparently and thought of me. I think it'll be fun.
I'm gonna make homemade pizza this weekend w/ anchovies on it. My lovely DH bought anchovies and has been wanting to do that. I've never had anchovies, but I've eaten sardines, so I'm open. HAHA.
My scale was UP this morning, but it was the morning after a splurge meal and then I stayed up too late watching Bully Beatdown on MTV. MTV2? It's amazing. People send in tapes of these horrible bullies, they go and make sure they really are douches and then they offer them $10K to fight an MMA fighter in a cage match. If they win they get to keep their money. First round in grappling, they start with $5K. For every time they have to tap out in 3 min, they lose $1K. Second round is kickboxing and they have to not quit, get KO'd, or have the ref stop the match.
Of the episodes I watched, only ONE DUDE got any money and that's because he outlasted the beatdown in the 3 min kickboxing section... somehow... HAHA. In a way it was nice cause he got beatdown for the full 3 minutes, whereas a lot of other dudes quit after 20 sec. Anyway, bullies suck and it was fun to watch those cocky jerks get the crap beat out of them.
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