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Good run today! :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hot tracking+running mama in full force still! :)

My sister was passing through town on her way to a summer course in Provo, UT at BYU in Mongolian - then going to .. .who knows where. Because she's looking for a job while she's out there which may end up being in UT or who knows, maybe somewhere else totally far from us. So she was my wakeup call this morning at about 6:30am and I threw on running clothes to greet her and wish her well, say goodbye, stay safe, etc.

DH was still up watching soccer. :) haha. So he got to say hi/bye as well. Then it was off for 2-3 miles.

Normally after a day of 2 miles the day before I would've wanted something at least 4, but considering I ran Monday I didn't want to accumulate too much mileage, so I set out on a loop at maxed at 2.8 (I'm calling it 3 but not quite), or had a turnoff that put me at almost 2 (1.9) in case the butt was feeling bad and/or I just felt like it should be shorter. BUT! I felt good - turning at that early turn just felt WRONG so I kept on. :) Glad to have gotten a GOOD one in.

I didn't track yesterday's dinner until this morning and turns out I was a little (126) below my calorie minimum, but given that I was higher in cals the night before AND that my settings are just for 1/2lb loss, no biggie.


The sad thing is I'm not 1/4 through my day yet even and I'm already counting down - this does not bode well.

OH I also wanted to blog about my lunch yesterday - I did something different. I am all out of books to read so I brought my PSP to entertain me for my lunch break. I ate my lunch WITHOUT ANY DISTRACTIONS. I tried to eat very mindfully - trying to remember what Coach Nancy said at the SparkConvention although I'm sure I didn't remember it all, but I do remember her talking about looking at the food and selecting your bite. So I was looking at my beautiful salad, trying to think about what I was putting on my fork - a bit of spinach, a bit of broccoli slaw, a bit of chicken.... does it have some dressing on it? Oooh this bite I'm gonna go for one of those gorgeous yellow grape tomatoes! :) And once I was chewing I tried not to mow it all down but to appreciate the textures and flavors I was experiencing. It was good! :)

I tend to eat REALLY FAST. So I tried to see how long I could take to eat my salad once I realized I was acting speedy for a few bites. haha.

Have eaten most things at the table, too. I'm feeling very strong and positive.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKYFYRE 6/20/2010 2:30AM

    Hey Dana,
Way to go with the salad, and actually enjoying you lunch, that must be what they mean :) Are the birds I hear on your SP page or do I have a bird chirpping virus on my puter? Anywho, yay! You got to see you sister! And Yay world cup soccer watching for Henry! (Hahaha, been doing a bit of that myself, can believe USA tied up w/ Slovenia, thought we'd lose last night!) Way to run!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 6/20/2010 12:41AM

    That is something to consider. Food as art and eating is the appreciation of it.

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MBSHAZZER 6/19/2010 8:15AM

    Hope you enjoyed your last day of work!

Great job on the mindful eating. I eat lunch at my desk, unfortunately, but I definitely try to at least not work while eating!

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SSONIA1 6/18/2010 2:34PM

    Good morning, Headmaster. I'm new to the HP team. Glad to hear you had a good run. I had a good run this morning too. I have the same problem about eating WAY TO FAST. I never thought about trying to really think about each bite to slow it down, maybe that will help me.

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JOHNBABJR 6/18/2010 10:36AM

    Everything sounds great, Dana. Way to go!

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MSSUNBUG 6/18/2010 9:50AM

    Good for you. This sounds like a lot of really positive change! I struggle with eating mindfully, but I count a success if I come around to being completely present for even a few bites of the meal.

Sounds like a really balanced day! ENJOY YOUR LAST DAY!!!!! :-)

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SEEHOLZ 6/18/2010 5:15AM

    Eating slow is HARD for me, as well! Heck, I eat on the go, in the car or even walking... the crazy thing is that I don't even think twice about it maybe being weird. I just do... not all the time.. so not like I always eat it the car or only, but it happens. And when I consciously tried to change just that and some other bad habits surrounding eating, it took a lot of my energy, so yeah, I get it.

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TRACYZABELLE 6/18/2010 3:13AM

    Since I do not get a dinner break at work I eat fast too .. sometimes I do not remember what I ate, lol!

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KSGROTHE 6/17/2010 4:32PM

    emoticon on your run and on eating slowly without distractions at lunch yesterday!

Glad to hear you're feeling strong and positive! Your great attitude is contagious! (In a good way, that is emoticon.)

Keep up the good work!

- Karen

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RUNTRILAUGH 6/17/2010 4:13PM

    I'm with you on the eating fast.... It is good to slow down, when we think about it and there is still some food left on the plate! LOL

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BUGSMOM211 6/17/2010 3:47PM

    Positive attitudes are so inspiring..Thanks!

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Still tracking! :D

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Just went in and entered all my food for today aside from dinner and doing great!

If you missed it, have a look at my Freestyle Trainer demo below - NOT super exciting, only a few things and one you can't even see, but you can get the gist. I would've loved to do more but it was raining forever and so the sand was more like a sand slushie. Not really MUD cause it's SAND but still gross and I was not getting down there or setting anything closer to the ground (like my camera) so..... yeah. :P

My run was kind of... awkward today. I felt totally anxious throughout it and was trying not to go "too fast" because I wanted to to be a recovery run of sorts from yesterday, but I felt like I couldn't slow down. Trust me - I still ended up PLENTY SLOW. But.... I dunno. It was just a weird feeling. I think it might be because I know I only planned to run 2 loops and I was just like GO GO GO GO GO so short GO GO GO get it done - no time to relax into the run. (2 miles) Eh. They can't all be fantastic.

Then it was the Freestyle Trainer and then I did Pilates when I got home. After a shower and some food I went back to bed.

Yeah - I faced the reality that if I don't get my butt up out of bed early, the run just isn't going to happen because the heat lately is ridiculous, so I'm falling back to a pattern like when I was rowing of waking up early, working out, and going back to bed to get a couple more hours of sleep. The good thing is I don't have to wake up AS early as when I was rowing, so I'm not totally dead. I'm hoping I can get a "normal people schedule" when we move. :) haha.

DH is still staying up all night and sleeping during the day. Somehow he is more productive on his dissertation this way and I am not going to complain about it because we still get very similar amounts of "TOGETHER" time. Plus he's been sleeping in the living room so he doesn't disturb me - and because our bed SUCKS and hurts his back (even I'm starting to really hate it) - so it means when I get back from working out I can't slip into eating on the couch and watching TV mode. HAHA. I eat my food like a civilized person at the table. :P

The good thing is, we have On Demand in the bedroom and I was able to still watch Losing It with Jillian Michaels to unwind and help me get back to sleep.

Is anyone else watching this show?


It still freaks me out how high of a weight loss goal she encourages people to reach for. I'm glad the daughters on the last show didn't lose something insane, but the mother... I am mind boggled at her loss. 74lbs in 2 months???? That is just... insane. At home. Not on the Biggest Loser Ranch with constant medical supervision and training all day etc. *shrug* I dunno man.


What I DO like about the show is it capitalizes on what was always one of my favorite parts of the Biggest Loser - when Jillian cracks people's shells and finds out WHY they are where they are and helps them have a personal epiphany that enables them to move forward and make lasting changes in their lives! (Well we hope they're lasting, they last at least long enough to do it on their own until Jillian returns for "reveal time") :) I'd rather have more of that on BL, less product endorsements, more working out, less drama.... yeah. :D I don't really watch BL anymore.

And bonus - I have NEVER eaten in bed and don't intend to ever start. The bedroom is a food free zone so it makes it REALLY EASY for me to stick to the plan these days.

Thanks for the positive job vibes! I still need them! :D haha. But you don't have to tell me, just keep sending them.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAFTERSFREE 6/17/2010 10:21AM

    i am trying to find a way to fit working out back into my schedule again too... i dont know how you get up so early, i just cant do it, whenever i've tried to do that, it made me just hate my life LOL. anyway im going to try to get a system where i only have to squeeze it in 2 days out of the week, and of course on fri-sun, and increment from there. good luck w/ the job search, when are u guys actually moving?

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KEAKMAN 6/17/2010 9:47AM

    Hooray for you! Getting up early to run while it's still bearable is GREAT!

About your unhappy slow run.....remember to listen to your body. If it feels bad it probably IS bad. Your body will tell you what it can and can't do, and you in particular are so well attuned to yours that you can safely do what seems right without worrying about overdoing it.

Just my two cents!

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BRAVE_NEW_ME 6/16/2010 11:44PM

    I love that your hubby's dissertation writing schedule and your not eating on the sofa goals are lining up so well...

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SWEATONCEADAY 6/16/2010 5:53PM

    i watched last night. i can't believe that lady lost 74lbs in 2 months too. crazy!!!! i guess if you really put your mind to it you can. i do to like that jillian pushes and cracks them. they have been coddled too long by their family, friends and themselves even. if jillian came and yelled at me for an hour i probably would think twice about reaching for the chips lol. i think she is good at that as her mom is a psychologist so she probably grew up hearing a ton of psycho bable.

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SEEHOLZ 6/16/2010 5:31PM

    I stopped watching BL as well! I think it brainwashes some people to think that loosing the weight is going to "cure" them ... hence why some gain some back... but all that said, I do find it inspiring... I'm tired, so kind of all over the place. Anyways, I don't really want to check out that show- not sure why, just not the right time in my journey, as I'm working more on getting back to my inner core, meditation, overall balance, because I think that working on TRUE happiness helps majorly with weight loss. I still track, too and the last week has been the BEST this year so far, so I don't want to ruin momentum either!

I love how DH's taken care of your problem without even knowing-LOL!

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HEALTHY4CAROLYN 6/16/2010 5:19PM

    I have watched the new Jillian Michaels show - I have missed a couple being on vaca but the last one I saw was the family - where the daughter getting married had that gastric by-pass surgery already and then her parents and brother were all trying to lose before her wedding - I thought it was interesting in that one that the girl that had the surgery was in worse physical shape than the rest of her family that was just overweight. I think it made a good point that just because you're smaller (and especially from doing it that way) if you don't exercise you're not necessarily healthier! Problem was she still saw herself as the large girl she was before - that I can sympathize with for sure. She couldn't even take compliments. So I'm with you - I do like how Jillian pulls that problem out of them!

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MBSHAZZER 6/16/2010 5:16PM

    I have to check out the vlog when I'm at home! Somehow, I don't think my co-workers would appreciate it! LOL!

OK, so funny that your hubby sleeping on the sofa is helping you achieve your goal of not eating there! HA!!! I love it!

The BF loves to eat in bed and I hate it because I always spill on myself which he finds HILARIOUS!!! Fortunately, there has been no eating in bed since the disastrous birthday dinner involving a juicy steak and 2 felines! They put an end to eating in bed quickly!

I can't believe how much weight they lose on BL. I only watched a few episodes and couldn't believe it. That cannot be healthy!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 6/16/2010 4:58PM

    I really think it would be interesting to see Jillian and Chris Downie debate on one of the talk shows.

I think both approaches have some merit, but Chris will win.

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Freestyle Trainer!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Just demonstrating a few of my MOVES - you can't really see the last one - sorry. And yes my keys are in my butt pocket. In case you were... wondering? haha. But we have a deep chest press, rows, and a back extention w/ overhead shoulder raise that you can't really see, but basically I go down into an L shape - butt back, leaning on my heels, arms forward (so I guess more like a blocky C?) and then open the body to straight and raise my arms overhead while keeping my legs straight.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MBSHAZZER 6/19/2010 8:13AM

    WOW, your form is great! You look so strong! Also, my cats are absolutely mesmerized by the sounds of the birds in the background. So everyone is enjoying your vlog!

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WAVEDANCER7 6/16/2010 10:40PM

    I SPY THE KEYS! Way cool video sistah!

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MARLIE13 6/16/2010 4:01PM

    VERY cool!!!!

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KSGROTHE 6/16/2010 2:16PM

    emoticon for recording a demonstration of some of your exercises with the Freestyle Trainer! Now I can have a better idea of what you're talking about when you describe your workouts. I can see how you'd get a good workout with it!

Also, you look very fit here! Keep up the good work!

- Karen

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RUNSWITHDEER 6/16/2010 1:58PM

    You got the moves darling.
That's a cool camera you have there. Very clear, even saw your keys but wasn't about to ask. :)

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 6/16/2010 11:32AM

    That really looks like a set to have. I may have to investigate that.

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SWEATONCEADAY 6/16/2010 11:32AM

    way to go dana!!!!

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JE_DEVIENS_MOI 6/16/2010 11:07AM

    Wow! I watched this from the front page of blog section of SP and thought... "Wow, she's so fit. Look at that form! I don't think I could ever do that." And then gave myself the jab of "She's probably been fit her whole life."

Big surprise for me when I decided to look at your page and see just how far you've come to be able to do that. I feel so inspired now, thank you!

Comment edited on: 6/16/2010 11:08:32 AM

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ZORBS13 6/16/2010 10:49AM

    looks like good form! At the TRX workshop, they emphasize that when doing the back extension, the key is "eyes to thighs" when going back...unfortunately I can't see if you're doing that!

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Tracking Day 2 - So far So GOOD! :)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

So yesterday I set up my tracking parameters to equal a loss of 1/2lb a week - following the ideals of the team I joined a few weeks ago - The Slowest Loser. :)

I am in a healthy weight range and I'm pretty active - I have my weekly calorie burn estimated at 3750, but as my running mileage increases or I am consistently running at higher mileages, I may need to increase that as well. I know that I will function better at requiring a smaller calorie deficit each week - so I'm not so hungry I'm tempted to binge, and I have plenty of energy to fuel my workouts. WOOT.

So yesterday it was very easy to stay within range. :)

I got some great grocery shopping done as well - LOTS of fruit in the kitchen. We have this clear plastic container (kind of a classy cylinder) that we use for our handheld fruit to stay out on the counter. It is filled with two gorgeous organic golden delicious apples that I couldn't resist, a bunch of plums, and some white and yellow flesh nectarines. I also have a container out of cherries that I have already washed - so I can easily eat a cherry every now and again if I need some small sweet munch. So good!

I bought some great granola from the local health food store that is made in AL -


It is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have eaten it today and yesterday w/ cottage cheese and a cut up nectarine. Yesterday I drizzled some agave nectar but today I went without - either way, delicious. The ingredient list is fantastic, I wish I had it here to list for you but very simple whole ingredients. :)

I also bought some of another old favorite treat of mine - unsweetened carob covered raisins. A very nice healthy treat!

Anyway - I'm feeling very positive with the tracking. It really takes all the anxiety out of eating for me. I felt really anxious before -- I THOUGHT I knew when I was eating well or not, but I didn't have the confirming numbers. I didn't realize how much anxiety that was giving me until I started tracking again.

Ideally - I'd like to be able to trust myself better. A lot of people commented yesterday (and very supportive comments THANK YOU ALL!! :D hehe) and mentioned tracking being a chore, how to think of it as not being that just another day to day activity and for me -- I actually like tracking. I don't mind putting in the numbers. I just didn't like feeling dependent and I didn't like the idea that I couldn't listen to my body and just eat the right things and not eat too much without the numbers telling me I was ok.

Well -- it's ok. I am ok that I need that support. I am ok with the fact that I need the reassurance of a system and of numbers to help me know that I'm doing the right thing. I have said it before -- and TURFGIRL mentioned it in her comment as well -- I didn't know what I was eating or how much or ANYTHING before 3.5 years ago. I had no clue. So that is about 23 years of my life. If I have to track my food for 20+ years into my future, so be it. I can deal with that. It's not that I find it unbearable to track - I just wish I could be more self-sufficient.

I will continue to work on listening to my body and not eating mindlessly. I can still really use the benefit of learning those skills for occasions when I am unable to track and do not want to sabotage my efforts to be healthy because I am eating at a social event because I don't want to have awkward silences... or anything like that.

KEAKMAN recently blogged about taking a mind-body approach. Looking at the reasons WHY and the internal while also taking the actions that will physically impact her body along the way. Well - I obviously did both recently. For a bit I said - 100% weight loss committed, change that tracker to 2lbs a week I did it before I can do it now, BAM LET'S GO. Then I realized there were some chinks in my armor of strength and I took some time to strictly explore the mind part, hoping the actions would follow. But without the structure, I went all willy nilly and gave myself even more stress.

So now I'm aiming to do BOTH.

Listen to myself in a safety zone. :)

I'm not sure I really mentioned my workouts after Saturday. To sum up:

Sunday - Pilates
Monday - 2 miles w/ some barefoot + Freestyle Trainer
Today - 5.23 miles

WOOT. Tomorrow will be shorter miles + Freestyle Trainer again. Thursday - medium miles... maybe 3. Depends how I'm feeling.


Still no nibbles on the job front, I keep looking for new postings and applying to things I feel would suit me (regardless of the field). Good vibes are appreciated!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEATONCEADAY 6/16/2010 11:37AM

    i can't believe it is your last day already coming up. you seem to be doing great with the running, tracking and st lately. you burn a ton a colories a week girl? i am only at about 2000 a week right now give or take a couple hundred. i am truly jealous of all the miles you are able to run. now i just need to find something else to fill the gap.

future job vibes are coming your way!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 6/16/2010 11:30AM

    Congrats on that last day. My last day at my current job is Friday too.

I so understand what you are saying about tracking. If I'm not, I'm eating fast food constantly and grazing is just a natural occurrence. Tracking is a deterrent of sorts because there are times that I just don't want to track it so I don't eat it.

Keep it up!!

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NUTRIGIRL08 6/16/2010 9:47AM

    I'm back to tracking again too! Just have to be held accountable some way! Great job! Sending good vibes your way on the job front!!

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KEAKMAN 6/16/2010 9:35AM

    Think and do, think and do. Plan and do, plan and do. That's the ticket for me. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE how you are putting YOUR plan into action!

(and I HATE tracking, but that is so a different story!)

Best wishes on the job front. I have quit mine, too and once the Census work dries up I will be unemployed, so I feel you there sister!

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MBSHAZZER 6/16/2010 8:28AM

    Dana, you're doing great! Like you said, you have been on this journey for less than 4 years and have come so far... but before that, there were 23 years of different habits. Think about it like starting a new job. In the beginning, you write everything down and have to continually refer to your notes so you know what to do, how to work the computer system, who to talk to when you need X, Y or Z. Over time, you need the notes less and less. It just takes time. You'll get there.

Enjoy your final week of work! OMG, you have no idea how jealous I am of you right now!

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JOHNBABJR 6/16/2010 7:30AM

    You can do it, Dana! I hope you find another job quickly.

Keep up the good work!

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SKYFYRE 6/16/2010 4:44AM

    Very smart, Dana. And yes, you will be in my thoughts and prayers that you are able to find a job asap! I feel ya on the food thing. I have done 3 days of tracking and this is the most on track i have been in a long while! WillyNilly is a great descriptor!!

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BRAVE_NEW_ME 6/15/2010 9:29PM

    Glad the tracking is going well this far! Hope things keep going well. =D

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SWEETZMIX 6/15/2010 8:35PM

    Good vibes sent you way. It took me forever to find a new job!! Also I agree with the whole having to track for another 20yrs. It is what it is, at least we know a lot more now. We do tons of healthy stuff that we never did. Tracking is always going to be there, as a reminder b/c some habits are harder to break than others. Like me eating all the ice cream at home. I have no idea what makes me do it, so I don't buy it. But someone else does, but AT LEAST it's a small container lol I am still working on that.

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KSGROTHE 6/15/2010 8:13PM

    Sounds like you're doing pretty well!

I'm curious about the plastic cylinder container you have on your counter. I always thought plums and nectarines needed to be stored in the refrigerator, and I recently read in a SP article on apples that they last longer when stored in the fridge. I like to keep fruit out on the counter, though. I have a mesh metal bowl I've been using for oranges/tangelos and apples, but they do go bad sometimes. Maybe I'm keeping too many out at once. DH likes all his fruit refrigerator-cold, though, so there's fruit in the fridge, too!

Anyway, keep up the good work! You're doing great!

- Karen

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DEPAULGIRL09 6/15/2010 8:09PM

    Sounds like you're off to a good start. Keep it up!


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Back to Tracking!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Well -- I'm apparently not quite ready to be without tracking so I'm going back to it again. Who knows for how long.

I know I have made the statement before that if I need to track for years and years so be it. And I really do believe that. It's a hard reality to face, but it's the truth. Being fit and healthy is more important to me than being free from tracking. I would LIKE not tracking to be an eventual reality for me, but I don't NEED for it to be. What I DO NEED is not to be overweight or unhealthy.

I feel good about my time without tracking - learning about my tendencies and exploring emotional issues that I didn't realize were there because they were being minimized (so much so that I barely realized I had any!) by tracking. However, yesterday the scale hit my WARNINGWARNINGWARNING number so the calories are going back in the books.

I AM still going to make a strong effort to work on some of these things.

And there is one big reason I think I have been struggling again -- eating on the couch in front of the TV. YEP! You haven't heard me mention eating at the table for a while now, have you??? That's because I stopped. I said - screw this I'm lonely and uncomfortable sitting over here and this is stupid I'm going to eat where I want to eat!

But apparently being "where I want to eat" for a long time made me uh.. .eat. more. HAHAAHA. *sigh* I get the feeling I will eventually graduate to a no-TV-during mealtimes eater...

But for right now, I'm going to go back to my original parameters of no food on the couches in front of the TV unless it's like popcorn or hot chocolate. And I'm not buying anymore hot chocolate this go around to the store that's for sure! :) And I will strive to be mindful of my emotional eating tendencies etc. - but I will still go back to tracking because I cannot tolerate my weight climbing. Just not gonna happen.

I have a lifetime to work on my emotional/boredom/stress eating issues - I want to at least remain at a healthy weight while doing so.

It's SO HARD to do this because it feels like failure, but I think the real failure would be to ignore the signs and keep making the same mistakes when I know there is something I can do to fix it. I talked to DH about this all yesterday and he was very supportive. :)

As for right now -- I'm gonna go run. Probably not very far... today is usually a rest day and I want to stay on the rest of my running schedule this week (tue-thur, Sat, sun) If possible - Sunday was going to be an evening run and when I went to check the temps I just got completely deflated of motivation.

95 with a feels like of 105. At 6pm. And not getting much cooler. The middle of the night low was 76. YEAH. Soooooo I said sCREW THAT CRAP I'M STAYING HOME! hahahaha. But now I've gotta face the music.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIFE_IS_SO_GOOD 6/16/2010 7:20PM

    I think you are showing signs of tremendous inner growth. It's hard to face the truth but it's the only way we heal.

You may or may not track forever but I would bet money that you are going to stay at a healthy weight and be amazingly fit until you are no longer breathing!

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HEALTHY4CAROLYN 6/16/2010 12:03PM

    You said it: "real failure would be to ignore the signs and keep making the same mistakes when I know there is something I can do to fix it." And thanks for the reminder because after 7 days of vacation and not tracking a few weeks before that to "try it on my own" has given me two extra pounds!!!

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SKYFYRE 6/15/2010 11:21AM

    yeah, I have been tracking the last couple of days, too. Good to face the truth, and reasons for not meeting my goals. I really like that you are looking on the bright side and realizeing that you are doing good for yourself, and that, my friend, means self respect! Good on ya!

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RUN_LIFT_EAT 6/15/2010 9:28AM

    We are having the same heat wave here, it is craziness!

Listen, I say you do whatever you need to take care of yourself and keep yourself healthy, Dana! Like you said, if you have to track forever, so what? Better than being unhealthy!

I highly recommend eating dinner at the table. I have started being better about really working on the presentation even when it is just Jake and me, but that is because I have tons of time this summer, so might as well enjoy it while we can. I do eat pretty much every other meal in front of the computer (often while sparking) I know that isn't good, but I swear it makes me slow down, whereas if it was just me and the food? I think I would eat too fast, I don't know?

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SEEHOLZ 6/15/2010 2:57AM

    I think you are brave to try to do what's best! Truthfully, somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd like to be free of tracking, too, but realistically, I feel like I've done too much damage to myself over the last 9 years- mainly year 2 and 3) that I can't make the past (my anorexia, my extreme binging, all that eating/noneating crap) go away and I've come to terms with the fact that tracking does keep me from going off the deep end completely. To me, it's just something I do know, not something I think about too much, which is not good either, because oftentimes it does not face me that I eat too much... as in yes, it bothers me, but I still do it, so the tracking does not necessarily keep me from it like most other people. In that sense, the tool is kind of broken. That said, I'm learning a lot about my STRESS eating. Now, that I'm on vacation, my eating is a LOT better! Granted, I'm exercising less ( but walking a lot, so staying active) and that has definitely something to do with it, as well. But, it's something that I need to break through if I want to keep my weight under control.
My point is that this is an IMPORTANT topic to me and that I can really relate to what you are saying... deep down. As I said, tracking is completely nonthreatening to me, like brushing teeth. If I put it into perspective and on that level, I really wished I didn't have to bruth my teeth either and at least the truth is that I can stop tracking while I can't stop brushing my teeth without negative consequences, so there is more hope with regards to tracking and hence it's even less threatening, you know.
As for eating infront of the TV, that's a problem for a lot of people- my son has an issue with just mindlessly snacking infront of the TV, so not tread it. Anyways, keep working on figuring out what works, what makes you happy and also realize that hard core exercise IS going to make you a lot more hungry!
Thinking of you!!!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 6/14/2010 10:47PM

    Eating in front of the TV is a huge thing. I can see where that makes a big difference. If you eat away from distraction, it reduces the chance of mindless eating.

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KJNE8O 6/14/2010 9:47PM

    Som many great comments already. All I have to add is my own knowledge of myself that I will need to track again and again and again because when I stop I gain weight no matter how active I am. I like to eat. I like food... not, take that back - I LOVE to eat and I LOVE food. So there you have it - we need to track and that doesn't make us failures, just very wise :)

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KNH771 6/14/2010 7:31PM

    It's SO HARD to do this because it feels like failure, but I think the real failure would be to ignore the signs and keep making the same mistakes when I know there is something I can do to fix it.

So true! I think it takes more courage to admit that something is not working than to stubbornly look away.

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SWEETZMIX 6/14/2010 7:30PM

    Much work to do indeed. We all do, but every day there is a little progress. Things we realize that we never realized before. We are now more willing to face the truth. Things will get better on this front...no worries.

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SWEATONCEADAY 6/14/2010 6:52PM

    yikes it is HOT out there. take care of yourself on your run. tracking can be good too. in a perferct world we wouldn't need to but this world is so not perfect lol. i track most days now too again. i guess i didn't track for a good 20 years of my life so it is something that may take just as long to learn??? i hope not. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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TELERIE 6/14/2010 6:18PM

    Thanks for keeping it real always, Dana, and you're right, it IS a small price to pay to keep at the weight we desire! I have a way to go still to get to my goal, but I agree with what CJ says below - I think of this as a forever PROCESS and not and EVENT. I imagine I will keep on tracking always (at least sporadically) - especially when I have new food/new portions/new meals that I rarely eat. Most days I have the same breakfast/lunch and can skip tracking those. Awareness, acknowledgement and honesty - that's what tracking does for me. emoticon

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PRINCESSNURSE 6/14/2010 6:02PM

    I wish I could get to a place where I don't have to track my calories and don't have to think about my food/micromanage my food consumption constantly, but the sad truth is I really think that in my case I will need to do this for the rest of my life to achieve and maintain my health goals. Do I wish it were different? Yes. Does wishing make it different? No. I think just being able to admit that we need to track is a big thing-we will succeed!

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CJROMB 6/14/2010 5:51PM

    So...last time I had a seminar about how I lost 50 pounds (which I hold specifically to make sure I keep that 50 OFF)...someone complained about the effort they have to put in for the rest of their lives, and how bored they are with all the exercise and tracking...

And I got this HUGE ah-ha, immediately, like a bolt of lightning. The truth is, for those of us who've struggled with weight, it's not a CHOICE and it's not an EVENT. We don't get to CHOOSE whether or not to struggle with our weight. We only get to CHOOSE if we win or not. And it's not an EVENT. It's a process. A life-long process, a forever habit that we must adopt.

Because the truth is, underneath it all, I'd sure rather spend all that time being bored with tracking and all the other stuff it takes to KEEP it off, over spending all that time begin bored (and disappointed) that I have to track and do all that other stuff to get it off AGAIN.

Maintainance isn't fun. But going back to overweight is the middle circle of the nastiest hell I can imagine.

Thanx for sharing this blog. And thanx for the inspiration to get my hiney out today, to run on the trail in the heat, even though it's a bit boring and I'm crazy tired. I needed the reminder of how important it is to keep up those habits I know work.

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KEAKMAN 6/14/2010 3:38PM

    "It's SO HARD to do this because it feels like failure, but I think the real failure would be to ignore the signs and keep making the same mistakes when I know there is something I can do to fix it. "

Failing would be stupidly insisting that you don't need to track when you know that you do. Makes me think of my dad after his accident and he would insist that he could do it by himself and would land on his head trying to get out of bed, or nearly crash the wheelchair getting out of the van. Sometiems we need help. End of story.

I NEED to track and weigh and measure my food. I HATE it. But I NEED it. TIme for me to quit falling out of bed on my head, too!

Happy running my friend - I'll send you some cool weather if you want...

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DECIWOMAN 6/14/2010 3:11PM

    I don't think that going back to tracking is a failure. That you had the courage to try it without is amazing to me. I know that if I wouldn't track I would gainwhat little I lost right away. So I think what you did was amazingly courageous and then having the courage to admit that you are not ready yet to do without ... you have my respect!!!

I know you can do it! And just think of what you have done already! Thanks for sharing!

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 6/14/2010 2:20PM

    Please, please, please don't consider yourself a failure. I admire so much of what you have done. I want to do it too and not feel like it is hopeless.

If you went back to the weight you came from that MIGHT be failure. But learning to maintain is success. You are doing it. You have accomplished so much. Now you just have to learn how to do what it is going to take to stay at a healthy weight.

You are emoticon my emoticon


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MBSHAZZER 6/14/2010 2:07PM

    Dana, I don't believe going back to tracking is a failure at all. In fact, I think it's a HUGE success. Failure would be to ignore your warning signs and to continue to gain weight. I also don't think you will be "stuck" tracking calories forever. Getting a handle on your relationship with food and the underlying emotional issues is not something that happens overnight. If you need to track while you are exploring these issues, that's fine! Like you said, before hand, you were not really aware of the issues because you were tracking. Now that you know what you need to work on, you can use tracking as a great tool to stay in control while you work on the issues.

I am sooooo with you on the heat! It's oppressive! 82 degrees here at 6am. GAH! Stay cool!

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GRYFFINSONG 6/14/2010 11:49AM

    I agree with you that the real failure would be to ignore the signs and continue with less healthy habits. Good on ya for recognizing the danger signs and re-committing to the tools that will help you keep on track.

You're a brave, gutsy, beautiful woman, and you deserve a brilliant, healthy future!!!


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WAVEDANCER7 6/14/2010 11:17AM

    I think that its the way you look at tracking. I track about 4-5 days a week. Monday thru thursday, and usually during the day on Friday (dinner rarely makes the cut). BUT by doing so, i have gotten good at knowing what i can and can't eat and how much. So on the weekends, although i'm not tracking, i'm still in the "proportion mode" and know how to control it. I don't look at tracking as a restriction, or else it would be tedious and i'd resent it. Instead I look at it as just a daily activity (quick thing i do at work) just like filling up the water bottles, packing lunch, doing the dishes, or working out. Its not FUN persay, but its not terrible either.

I think you'll do really well tracking and getting back on... track. ;) Its not a punishment, its just a tool to put some numbers with that food. Don't sweat it girl, you'll regain all the control again in no time!

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RDARLING 6/14/2010 10:24AM

    You can do this! I also need to be more committed to tracking. I think I know how much I am eating but I honestly have no idea!

Hope you had a great run today!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 6/14/2010 9:51AM

    Yay tracking.

I'm struggling with the slide into my old habits, and don't like the results, either.

At least we know what works and that we can go back to it. Sticking with it seems to be an issue for me at the moment.

About the hot chocolate, there *is* a kind I've found that is less dangerous - Nestle makes a fat free hot cocoa mix with 20 calories per envelope. It's not always easy to find in the local stores, so I sometimes order it from Amazon.

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KARVY09 6/14/2010 9:10AM

    Have a good run! Tracking's not that bad. Figure 10 minutes a day, right? What's that versus your health?

Good luck with your no food on the couch goal!

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