Monday, June 14, 2010
Well -- I'm apparently not quite ready to be without tracking so I'm going back to it again. Who knows for how long.
I know I have made the statement before that if I need to track for years and years so be it. And I really do believe that. It's a hard reality to face, but it's the truth. Being fit and healthy is more important to me than being free from tracking. I would LIKE not tracking to be an eventual reality for me, but I don't NEED for it to be. What I DO NEED is not to be overweight or unhealthy.
I feel good about my time without tracking - learning about my tendencies and exploring emotional issues that I didn't realize were there because they were being minimized (so much so that I barely realized I had any!) by tracking. However, yesterday the scale hit my WARNINGWARNINGWARNING number so the calories are going back in the books.
I AM still going to make a strong effort to work on some of these things.
And there is one big reason I think I have been struggling again -- eating on the couch in front of the TV. YEP! You haven't heard me mention eating at the table for a while now, have you??? That's because I stopped. I said - screw this I'm lonely and uncomfortable sitting over here and this is stupid I'm going to eat where I want to eat!
But apparently being "where I want to eat" for a long time made me uh.. .eat. more. HAHAAHA. *sigh* I get the feeling I will eventually graduate to a no-TV-during mealtimes eater...
But for right now, I'm going to go back to my original parameters of no food on the couches in front of the TV unless it's like popcorn or hot chocolate. And I'm not buying anymore hot chocolate this go around to the store that's for sure! :) And I will strive to be mindful of my emotional eating tendencies etc. - but I will still go back to tracking because I cannot tolerate my weight climbing. Just not gonna happen.
I have a lifetime to work on my emotional/boredom/stress eating issues - I want to at least remain at a healthy weight while doing so.
It's SO HARD to do this because it feels like failure, but I think the real failure would be to ignore the signs and keep making the same mistakes when I know there is something I can do to fix it. I talked to DH about this all yesterday and he was very supportive. :)
As for right now -- I'm gonna go run. Probably not very far... today is usually a rest day and I want to stay on the rest of my running schedule this week (tue-thur, Sat, sun) If possible - Sunday was going to be an evening run and when I went to check the temps I just got completely deflated of motivation.
95 with a feels like of 105. At 6pm. And not getting much cooler. The middle of the night low was 76. YEAH. Soooooo I said sCREW THAT CRAP I'M STAYING HOME! hahahaha. But now I've gotta face the music.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
That is how I finished my run today!
So -- I ran about 2 miles today, took 5 min of that walking warmup - did some hip flexor stretches at home to see how that felt - felt good. Nearing the end of my run I took of my shoes and went for it. It's a paved path - some asphalt some concrete - and at the end that I did barefoot I had also a bridge with wide smooth wooden boards and a short set of stairs. :) FUN! It felt really good. I think I will incorporate more and more on my shorter runs. I'd like to get some vibrams just so I'm not totally barefoot, but I have to admit it was pretty convenient to just slip my shoes off, pick em up, and keep on rolling.
I don't think I will ever run barefoot all the time, but we'll see. I do believe it will at least be a good tool in my basket of tools! :)
Then the shoes went back on for my Freestyle Training - while I love the idea of running in the grass, the only place I'd feel comfortable doing that is also in places where people walk their dogs. And I'm not loving the idea of accidently running in poo. And I don't want to go on ground that's more brambly. The path was good for me today, but where I was setting up my Freestyle Trainer was in dirt and twigs and dry grass tufts or whatever the heck and yeah - I wasn't getting my feet in on all that. HAHA :D
Freestyle Trainer workout was good today - so fast, can move from exercise to exercise so easily... if something is too hard you merely adjust your body angle to make it easier and continue (or vice versa) - so no delays of changing out weights etc. I just love it. Today I started with some assisted piriformis/glute stretches, then assisted squats, back extensions into overhead rear delt presses, rows, chest flies, bicep curls, tricep presses, standing oblique twists, and a couple of single arm rows w/ a twist. I think that's everything... yeah and that took 15 min with two sets of 10-12 for each item.
Looking at the river and the trees w/ the breeze blowing - who couldn't love that?
Last night was a bit of crazy eating. My DH - trying to be sweet and lovely - brought me dark chocolate and licorice and I ate it ALL. I mean, YES I love those things. YES I sometimes want it more during TOM. Could I have had the control to eat some and stop? Yes. But I didn't. I chose to eat it all. I know there was a part of me saying - if you eat it all, then it won't be around to tempt you anymore. SO STUPID. That reasoning is ridiculous. If I can remember that I will be able to have more later, I can have some now and it's no big deal, why should it bother me that there is some there that I am not currently eating?
The questions are still there, but I don't want to never have certain foods in the house. I have successfully had chocolate and licorice in the house before and portioned it perfectly. At the time I was tracking my food and fit it in my ranges. I need to learn how to transition that kind of mindfulness into a non-tracking setting. If I can learn to do this it will literally FREE me. I will be able to travel, go to parties, eat out, etc. and not overeat. And what better place to learn than at home? So no, I am not going to scold my husband and tell him never to buy me treats. It's not like he got me something ludicrously unhealthy like a Krispy Kreme bun bacon burger that's been deep fried or something. He didn't get some crazy processed foodwannabe abomination. That I would have just been like - uh, why? hahaha. :) FOOD is not bad. Eating is not bad. Overeating of any kind of food is detrimental to my physical and emotional wellbeing.
So moving on - this morning I had a lovely breakfast of greekyogurt w/ oats (that I left in the fridge to soften while I ran and ...trained) w/ a cut up nectarine and agave nectar. Then I had some PB and pretzel sticks.
Then I stopped.
:) YES! I DID IT! HAHAHA. A little voice inside said, you could go get more PB and pretzel sticks... you could keep eating... and another voice said - yes, but am I hungry? And there was no answer. So I pondered and waited and the answer was no. I am good. I am satisfied. THE. END.
So I was very happy with that success this morning! :) I know I ate a reasonable amount of food - I covered carbs, protein, healthy fats, and fresh produce.
So my affirmations again!
I will eat mindfully.
I will treat my body well.
Food is good!
Eating is good!
I will recognize my hunger and satiety.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
I had like 5 min to post those pictures before I had to run to work - basically me trying on some clothes in stores that I didn't buy but I really want that white jacket...
AND... me and my sister...
AND .. last - my "haircut" which didn't take off much length just kinda got rid of some dead ends, added some layers... not the most model perfect picture of me ever but I felt it was a genuine smile and pictures like that make me happy. :)
Ran this morning. 4.6+ miles, butt hurts, wahwah.
Reading "Born to Run" and it is very inspiring. I'm not converted to complete barefootism yet but I do think I would benefit from doing a bit of barefoot running to help learn some more bioefficient form and strengthen my feet. So many amazing runners run in shoes, but they either naturally know how to run in a perfect bioefficient way or they learned it with someone coaching them or they themselves do some barefoot running. Either way I'm convinced it could help me.
Should have tried a bit this morning, was thinking about it before I got going, even a ways into my run I kept thinking, I could try it for the last little bit of my run but by that point... I forgot. HAHAHA. :) Oh well. I did concentrate on trying to have a good form though - up until close to the end when I got impatient with it all.
TOM has reared it's ugly head and I feel wretched. I feel bloated and crampy and all that awful crap. :P BOO!
My upper body is nicely sore from yesterday's freestyle trainer mojo - actually, my triceps are really the main thing. WOW! :D Watching some videos on that move really helped me to make it more effective.
So I'm thinking so far this week I've covered about 7 miles - if I do 2-3 tomorrow and then a total of 10 this weekend I'm close to 20 again. Since my long run has been around 7 miles this really takes the pressure off my run tomorrow. :)
I think I'm gonna aim for getting a consistent 20 mile week for a few weeks before tweaking too much.
Born to Run is also inspiring me yet again to eat naturally (meaning close to the earth - less processed, more plants, etc.). It's probably good for me to read something like that every so often to get the good food thoughts running through my head. I don't think it's realistic for me to eat like that 100% of the time but I think I can try to be more consistent with it than I have been and try not to go in cycles of laziness. :) haha. I need to learn how to make that way of eating VERY VERY LAZY so that when I do get in a lazy cooking cycle I can turn to THOSE defaults instead of processed food defaults.
I think it was MBSHAZZER who turned me onto nomeatathlete.com through a comment on someone else's blog/page... and that site had so many references to Born to Run and the food stuffs in there it got me to finally read the book that I had checked out from the library once and returned unread and then checked out again and was waiting it's turn behind some other book. haha. :) Now I'm nearly through it, I'm sure I'll finish it today and I read most of it yesterday. Haha. So, THANKS CHICA! :D
I may never be vegan, because I still don't like excluding anything entirely, but I do think it would be best for me to really decrease my meat consumption.
I really do like a steak every now and again. Honestly.
But I can also go without meat for a long time I think without going nuts. Or while going nuts (as in almonds peanuts et.cHAHA I'm so funny). But seriously, I was sharing with someone on here recently something from my religion regarding food and healthy lifestyle. YES! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka Mormons) actually has a scriptural set of guidelines for a healthy diet! Can you believe it? :)
The guide is found in the book called the Doctrine and Covenants which is a set of revelations given primarily to the Prophet Joseph Smith during the early days of the organization of the church (in the like, 1830's). I understand it is somewhat controversial to claim modern day revelation and modern day prophets, and also to reference such as scripture, but that is what I believe.
I personally do believe these guidelines to be a revelation from God, but I hope that others can read them even if they disagree and keep an open mind to the insights that are contained within those words from 1833.
"5 That inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father, only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him.
6 And, behold, this should be wine, yea, pure wine of the grape of the vine, of your own make.
7 And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies.
8 And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man, but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgment and skill.
. . .
10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—
11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence andthanksgiving.
12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;
. . .
16 All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—"
Just kinda the basics - the full thing can be found here:
So yeah to sum up - we don't drink or smoke, we don't do coffee or tea (except herbal teas.. and we do hot chocolate). Most LDS people will follow those concepts and some even extend the admonition against "hot drinks" - interpreted as coffee and tea - to exclude all caffeinated sodas as well. I don't drink soda like... almost ever. So that doesn't really come into thought for me.
But I don't think many others pay attention to the rest of it -- like most people most of the time we pay attention to the SHALL NOTS and not enough of the SHOULD DO's. You know what I mean?
I don't think there are many LDS people out there that take to heart the advice to only eat meat sparingly and in times of cold or famine. I personally believe this may refer only to "fowl and land beasts" and not to fish. *shrugs* I suppose I could pray for further guidance.
But it's interesting - the advice against tobacco was given LONG before anyone in the medical community was advising against tobacco and the advice to eat mostly plants and little meat seems to be gaining strong ground these days now as well. I really feel it's about time to listen. With all of the ecological impact that providing meat, the medical impacts of eating a largely plant based diet vs. one with a lot of animal products and meat, and then the spiritual aspect, how could I go wrong? :)
LONG BLOG. :) Congrats if you made it this far....
OH I forgot some of the best parts - my favorite promise for if you live with the guidelines given:
"18 And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;
19 And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;
20 And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint."
Run and not be weary! :) I need that! :D
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