Tuesday, June 08, 2010
I mostly blog when I'm at work and was off between Thursday and now so... HERE I AM! :D haha.
The weekend had it's ups and downs fitness/nutrition wise... Thursday night my sister came and we had fun together! :) Fun activities included: running 2 miles and playing with my freestyle trainer, a big shopping trip to find some great jeans for my sister, eating at a new (to us) hole in the wall BBQ joint, and watching "Easy Virtue". Good times!
The weekend included some mindful and "good" eating and also some overeating. Overall it kinda balanced out -- I am coming up on TOM and I'm not at my recent high, I'm kinda in the middle of where I've been fluctuating so I'm ok with that.
I tried on a lot of clothes while shopping with my sister and discovered that while I am on average 1 size larger than I have been in bottoms - I seem to be finding a lot of that in a great butt and when I tried on some kind of... almost legginglike jeans, my legs looked so freaking fabulous cause you could see my calf muscles and everything. Although they were too small for the butt/hip area although the waist totally would have fit if I could have gotten them any higher up! HAHA. In short - while I'm not in love with my stomach right now (and honestly may never be because of it's weird fat/looseskin lump over the belly button) - in general I was kinda smoking hot. HAHAHAHAHA ok. That is a bit of an exaggeration. But I was honestly concerned that trying on all those clothes might depress me a bit but overall I felt fine and in some cases great! :)
I also confirmed that I DEFINITELY have a longer torso than the average Jane, and it MIGHT be in proportion with my height, but it definitely ruined my attempts to try on a dress that might otherwise have been just a bit snug. The widest "hip" part of the dress happened KINDA around my waist and it snugged up around my hips and butt in a very awkward way. *sigh* dresses will forever be a bit of a challenge for me. I found some jeans that fit like gold but I wasn't shopping for me. (no $$$ for anything that wasn't super cheap and I just wasn't feeling anything in that price range for me that much.)
Still a very fun outing and we successfully scored the perfect jeans for my sister! :)
"Easy Virtue" was kind of a good movie! I ended up really enjoying it even though the end was kind of sad... and good... at the same time. :) Essentially Jessica Biel is this modern American racecar driving firecracker and she marries a modern young man from a stuffy English Family that lives on an estate in the country and she has to go meet the family etc.etc. I think it's set in like... 30's? Not 100% on that... Just guessing by the clothing as I am not so good with historical event references. :) haha. Jessica Biel has a phenomenal body. I think it's fantastic to see a Hollywood Heroine with MUSCLES in her shoulders ya know? Not just soft and skinny.
Saturday I took off of running because we had such a marathon shopping day I decided all that walking deserved a bit of a break. Saturday night before I went to bed I did my favorite yoga podcast - "Lunar Cycle" or something... I love it. Very relaxing and good for the hips.
Sunday I finally got in my 7 miler! WOOT! 7.16 miles to be exact. I've been trying to hit that distance as my "long" run for a few weeks now and have been cut short for various reasons so I'm glad to hit that.
Another thing I've realized with my running is that I was NOT running as much as I thought I was before I was done with that regatta and all the extra rowing.
Mid Jan after I finally got back to running post marathon until I did the Mercedes Marathon relay in Feb I had a few weeks of 11 miles each and then WITH the marathon relay a week of 15 whopping miles!
Then it dropped drastically: My running miles went to 2, 8, 8, 9, 4, 5, FIFTEEN! (in 3 runs - 2.39, 5.23, 7.44 miles), then down to a 2 run week of 7 miles, then it was like 13, 16, 17 (includes 15 miles at the Relay for life!), 14, 20, 20, 16, 15....
So...... honestly I thought I was regularly getting at least 10-15 miles a week before I decided to build my mileage up... ok maybe I thought I was getting at least 15 honestly. And then when I started building I still wasn't getting in as much as I thought because a lot of runs got cut a bit short still... well I've recently had a couple of 20 mile weeks and then the past two have cut back a bit -- but on each of the 20 mile weeks I ran 5 times and the past two I only ran 4 times.
Anyway -- on the one hand it makes me realize I have a lot more work to do, on the other hand it makes me realize HOLY CRAP no WONDER I've been finding it so hard to get in the miles I thought I should be running right now... I mean rowing is great crosstraining but it's not the same as running those miles and I should take it slow. So I've been a lot more accepting of myself taking it easy and doing whatever I need to do to get the run in, if it means it's shorter then so be it. That way I can build up how my body needs to and not on a plan that was more ambitious than it should have been probably. I'll catch up to the plan eventually.
I just need to have my long run at 8-10miles by minimum 6 weeks before my half marathon in September... so.... by the 2nd week of August basically. I have plenty of time considering I can already run 7 comfortably -- so I figure I can work on getting the rest of my mid-week runs built up to consistently longer than 2-3 miles (if I can get in 4 5 mile runs then with an 8 mile "long" run I'm getting 28 miles a week so I should be in my aimed range of 25-35 miles per week going into marathon training later on). SLOW AND STEADY!
And lots of stretching and icing and glute and lat work and whatever all else I need to do to deal with the issues I've been having w/ my hip and piriformis and whatnot.
So that's running stuff...
I cut my hair. Just kinda cut off some dead ends - added some layers to get rid of some dead ends that have been following me around since my short hair cut. I'm not sure what I think about it yet - I'll take some pictures. :) haha. I also have a few pictures I can share from this weekend when I get the chance.
I also submitted a bunch of job applications this weekend. So hopefully I can just continue adding applications and will hear something in the next couple of weeks.
Monday I took off of running because I decided I wanted to try my Tue-Thu + Sat-Sun running schedule again and I was going to run in the evening but then my DH ended up not needing to work on his dissertation just then cause he stayed up late and worked on it the night before so.... we hung out and had fun spending time together and it was definitely worth it! :)
I'm planning to do yoga more regularly and really work my freestyle trainer.
Today I got in 2.4 miles - 3 0.8 mile loops w/ the 1st and last being kind of a warmup and recovery/cooldown loops and the middle being a speedier loop just to change things up and I ran the mid loop at what extrapolates to just under a 10min mile pace so I am very happy to know that I can still do that even if it's not for as long as I used to be able to. I had a good time with my freestyle trainer and picked up a few groceries, our prescriptions, and a new NON COTTON SPORTS BRA! FINALLY! hahahaha.
So..... megalong blog. That's it for now. I was scared to continue on with my nontracking experiment right now but I'm still within that same little range so I'm going to try to work on trusting myself!
Thursday, June 03, 2010
...but that's it.
That's ok! I got some things done!
And some other things that really needed to happen... last night when we got home there were some dudes outside looking for their keys. So my DH helped them look for like...forever. HAHA Or it seemed to me. I got cracking RIGHT AWAY making chili. I've been meaning to make chili for a while now and kept doing something else instead.
I totally flew by the seat of my pants with this one -- it contained:
1 onion - finely chopped
1lb lean ground beef - no hormones/etc.goodstuff only.
1 can organic garbanzo beans
2 cans organic "chili beans" blend (no seasoning, just a blend of beans)
2 cans petite diced tomatoes
a couple Tbsp of Chipotle's in Adobo sauce - peppers cut up
some dried minced onion to up the onion ante...
and some frozen corn kernels dumped in.
IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! Those chipotle peppers REALLY did their thing. WOOT. I have some leftover with my lunch today and I'm excited.
But due to the key hunting, and then some other people were going to come over to watch SYTYCD but didn't and we waited for them for a while, then that was 2hrs long... anyway. I ended up going to bed at 2am - which is about as late as I ever stay up and not my ideal for the night before planning to "GET UP EARLY". Then I got woken up twice during the night to examine a mystery thing that my DH found on the bathroom floor... black round shiny hard what the what? I was bleary eyed and was like, I dunno..... 2nd time it was I dunno but I'm cleaning the bathroom tomorrow so I'm going to sleep.
Well. 6:45 was just too much for me to handle after the 2nd or 3rd wakeup happened around 5:45 so..... I swapped my plan. I would get up at 9:30, bear the heat as it crept in and run 9:45-10:45 or so, hit the store FAST, get home and stuff put away by 11:30, then I'd have 30 min to clean the bathroom and still have about 45-50min left to get ready/eat/etc. Sounds great, right???
Well - I turned off my alarm at some point. Got woken up by my phone ringing at 9:45 though! But I took too long getting ready and trying to find out where to park at the VA, decided to check that out instead of the arboretum today. So....... I didn't start running till at least 10:30... didn't get back home till noon... had barely enough time to shower and eat and I was actually a couple minutes late to work (not that anyone really cares)... but still. No time to clean the bathroom. :( But before I left this morning I did solve the mystery of the little black things on the bathroom floor!
They were the tiny little end caps on the bristles of my brush that had come off. :P
Anyway. I am very glad I accomplished the things I did today. My run was a little shorter than the 4 I wanted - 3.4 instead - but I tried a new place and I got out and ran even though it was hot and humid. And while I didn't get the bathroom cleaned before my sister will be getting here tonight - I DID get us groceries! :)
AND - My sister is leaving Saturday night which is sad because I'd love to hang out with her forever, but it DOES mean I have Monday (which I took off to be with her) to get some "around the house" type stuff accomplished! :D Honestly if my sister goes to bed earlyish tonight and I'm still awake I might clean the bathroom tonight cause it's driving me nuts! I'm secretly hoping my DH decides to clean it, but somehow we have always had the bathroom cleaning be my domain and I didn't want to ASK because he's having a stressful meeting w/ his mentor today and I didn't want to add any burden.
So yesterday's to-do list carries over - only without the grocery shopping!!!! One down that doesn't come back... YET. :)
I hope to still run tomorrow with my sister! :D We'll see. The other stuff can wait until she's gone.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
No really, trust me. I've lost a lot of it and it's really not that hard.
You follow a set of parameters, and the math and science speaks for itself. Eat less, move more - weight leaves. Fixing these underlying issues that cause us to gain extra weight is WAY WAY harder.
I'm still not tracking at the moment because I want to learn what I do when I'm not bound by a set of numbers telling me what to do. It's very difficult for me to do this... *sigh* Very frustrating. There have been very good days on this tactic - showing me I know how to treat myself well and am capable of doing it! And then there are some bad days.
I'm trying to figure out what is eating me right now. Today I started to get ready for my run and I thought about all the STUFF that was cluttering around the house -- I would go run and come back and all that stuff would still be sitting there... so I thought to myself, maybe I've been eating worse at home this weekend because of all the clutter putting a background of stress and burden on me and wouldn't I feel great if I got that all taken care of? SO! I did it. I opted not to run (I figure this can be a little cut back week on my running or something so I don't injure myself and get overtrained 3 days off in a row is kind of a lot to me but this was worth it) and I got that all cleaned up.
It feels nice in the house but... there's more to do. I need to clean the bathroom. I need to take care of the bedroom.
There's something else I thought of that might be bothering me as well. So - my sweet and wonderful DH has been feeling "fat" lately himself - he's been gaining weight working on his dissertation and whatnot and he feels very self-conscious about it. I know he feels worried sometimes that I'm going to leave him or something. The thought came into my head that maybe I'm sabotaging myself so that he will not feel bad and that won't be anything that ever comes between us. Now that is stupid. Rationally speaking -- how could hurting myself be productive and positive to our relationship? It's not like I'm actually sacrificing something to his benefit... But I seriously wonder -- I'm doing most of my overeating when he is asleep and I'm by myself so I wonder if that separation is triggering those fears of being alone.......... *SIGH*
STUPID EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And FOOD! Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm a smart woman who knows how to take good care of herself physically, but I don't know that I really understand how to care for these things. At least not yet.
All I know is that I have a plan of action:
1. Talk to DH about my theory re: self-sabotage.
2. Do ST tonight at home so that I don't feel like I didn't do anything physical today.
3. Finish my mission to get the house in order (items other than a to be completed over time - ok actually tomorrow I want b and c to happen as well)--
a. Clean the bathroom tomorrow morning.
b. Pack away cold-weather/toowarm clothing
c. Create a space for sweaty workout clothes to air out - specifically!
d. Pack the kitchen items that will not be used before we leave.
e. Pack other items that will go into storage while we're w/ the in-laws
4. GO RUN TOMORROW!
5. Make a grocery list tonight/tomorrow to be completed shopping on Thursday. Goal - use up pantry items as much as possible between now and when we leave.
I got problems, people! But I think that just makes me human, not a freak. It's hard to deal with. I have been tempted to just simply go back to tracking everything and following the numbers because I know that "works". Well - it DOES work. To lose weight. But I'm afraid that inclination is just another way of running from the hard work it's taking to figure these things out and that it will be much more beneficial to me in the long run to confront them even if it's causing my weight to fluctuate.
I did have some positive actions this weekend.
Saturday I ate too much between when I woke up (very late at like 12:45pm or so) and when I went running later. I stopped eating at around 3pm, so I was eating for around 2 hrs at least. Too much food. I did a 6.5 mile run - cut it short from 7 because of very threatening sounding thunder and the party! - and toward the end I started feeling REALLY sick to my stomach. I was bummed! The host of this party had prepared some of his awesome BBQ, etc. Well -- rather than adding more misery to my miserable self by eating more and more and feeling sicker at the party because I "didn't want to miss out" - I made myself a take home plate to sample the best looking items and just drank a LOT of water.
Later that night I was able to enjoy the food in the comfort of my own home and without feeling sick. So two thumbs up for that! I was proud of listening to my body and finding a way to be flexible.
Yesterday I also ate too much earlier in the day before my DH woke up but then when we went out he wanted to go get some pizza at this place and I was just like *BLURGH* well. We went anyway. I had a bit of the crust and one bite of the pizza because I wanted to taste it and a bite of the tiramisu. Honestly the pizza was NOT good other than the crust (to me). I was very proud of again not just eating to be a part of the group and ordering so I wouldn't MISS anything. I know that is ridiculous and I didn't act on it.
SO! :D One thing kind of conquered this weekend! I also was able to realize that sitting around at home eating and watching TV all day (yep, I was being mindless) made me have a horrible mental image of myself and that when we got out of the house both Sunday evening when I went to my friend's party and Monday evening when we went out to the pizza place (and Target) I was able to see myself in a mirror and in the glass front of the restaurant and realize I was not some huge fat miserable slob - although I was treating myself that way and feeling that way. I was sooooooo stuck inside my HEAD that I was out of touch with reality.
This new thing I'm trying is definitely not going to be a short term weight loss solution but I'm going to stick with it for a while longer. I'm still weighing myself so I do have a number to help keep things overall under control - I'm not trying to gain weight or anything... :P Of course it's gone up after the poor eating days but less than I imagined and I know after a few days of eating better and in reasonable portions it will likely fluctuate back down again. If not I will have to put my experiments on hold for a while so I don't let things get totally out of control to a place that it's harder for me to recover from physically. Does that sound reasonable?
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