ZIRCADIA   49,130
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
ZIRCADIA's Recent Blog Entries

Top two priorities checked off...

Thursday, June 03, 2010

...but that's it.

That's ok! I got some things done!

And some other things that really needed to happen... last night when we got home there were some dudes outside looking for their keys. So my DH helped them look for like...forever. HAHA Or it seemed to me. I got cracking RIGHT AWAY making chili. I've been meaning to make chili for a while now and kept doing something else instead.

I totally flew by the seat of my pants with this one -- it contained:

1 onion - finely chopped
1lb lean ground beef - no hormones/etc.goodstuff only.
1 can organic garbanzo beans
2 cans organic "chili beans" blend (no seasoning, just a blend of beans)
2 cans petite diced tomatoes
a couple Tbsp of Chipotle's in Adobo sauce - peppers cut up
chili powder
some dried minced onion to up the onion ante...
and some frozen corn kernels dumped in.

IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! Those chipotle peppers REALLY did their thing. WOOT. I have some leftover with my lunch today and I'm excited.

But due to the key hunting, and then some other people were going to come over to watch SYTYCD but didn't and we waited for them for a while, then that was 2hrs long... anyway. I ended up going to bed at 2am - which is about as late as I ever stay up and not my ideal for the night before planning to "GET UP EARLY". Then I got woken up twice during the night to examine a mystery thing that my DH found on the bathroom floor... black round shiny hard what the what? I was bleary eyed and was like, I dunno..... 2nd time it was I dunno but I'm cleaning the bathroom tomorrow so I'm going to sleep.

Well. 6:45 was just too much for me to handle after the 2nd or 3rd wakeup happened around 5:45 so..... I swapped my plan. I would get up at 9:30, bear the heat as it crept in and run 9:45-10:45 or so, hit the store FAST, get home and stuff put away by 11:30, then I'd have 30 min to clean the bathroom and still have about 45-50min left to get ready/eat/etc. Sounds great, right???

Well - I turned off my alarm at some point. Got woken up by my phone ringing at 9:45 though! But I took too long getting ready and trying to find out where to park at the VA, decided to check that out instead of the arboretum today. So....... I didn't start running till at least 10:30... didn't get back home till noon... had barely enough time to shower and eat and I was actually a couple minutes late to work (not that anyone really cares)... but still. No time to clean the bathroom. :( But before I left this morning I did solve the mystery of the little black things on the bathroom floor!

They were the tiny little end caps on the bristles of my brush that had come off. :P

Anyway. I am very glad I accomplished the things I did today. My run was a little shorter than the 4 I wanted - 3.4 instead - but I tried a new place and I got out and ran even though it was hot and humid. And while I didn't get the bathroom cleaned before my sister will be getting here tonight - I DID get us groceries! :)

AND - My sister is leaving Saturday night which is sad because I'd love to hang out with her forever, but it DOES mean I have Monday (which I took off to be with her) to get some "around the house" type stuff accomplished! :D Honestly if my sister goes to bed earlyish tonight and I'm still awake I might clean the bathroom tonight cause it's driving me nuts! I'm secretly hoping my DH decides to clean it, but somehow we have always had the bathroom cleaning be my domain and I didn't want to ASK because he's having a stressful meeting w/ his mentor today and I didn't want to add any burden.

So yesterday's to-do list carries over - only without the grocery shopping!!!! One down that doesn't come back... YET. :)

I hope to still run tomorrow with my sister! :D We'll see. The other stuff can wait until she's gone.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MBSHAZZER 6/6/2010 1:56PM

    I hope you had a wonderful visit with your sister! Man, your life sounds hectic!

I have a secret about the bathroom. I hate to clean it so I do a really cruddy job cleaning it and then BF gets grossed out and cleans it himself because his standards are much higher. Just sayin'....

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITTYTIF 6/5/2010 2:21PM

    Hey there just stopping by to get back into the subscription of your blog. I have been so out of it lately!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLE_GIRL 6/5/2010 9:13AM

    At least you got the run in. :-) Have a great time with your sister and thanks a ton for the note on my blog the other day. You have been a real motivator for me. Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEATONCEADAY 6/4/2010 11:59PM

    yummy chilli. i can't even remember what else you wrote cause i am still thinking about the chilli. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SIMPLE_TAILOR 6/4/2010 1:36PM

    Chili does sound good. Just doesn't lend itself to cool thoughts.

Enjoy the time with your sister!

Report Inappropriate Comment
250STRONG 6/4/2010 9:55AM

    Mmmmmmmm chili....... :) Have a great day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRAVE_NEW_ME 6/4/2010 1:48AM

    What a great display of flexibility! Glad you were able to get those top two priorities checked off. =D

And that chili sounds AMAZING!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SKYFYRE 6/3/2010 11:50PM

    Yikes! Way to get stuff done! And How cool that your sister is in town! That is nice, especially that she will run with you! I love that my brother will ride bike with me!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 6/3/2010 9:05PM

    Jam packed day!

I love playing with recipes that way too. Lately it's been my hummus...anything goes! The last time I sautéed onions, garlic, tomatoes and apples together then used the food processor to zap it all together with the 15 bean mix usually used for soups along with lemon juice, plain yogurt, olive oil, cumin, crushed red pepper and Louisiana lightning...yum!


Report Inappropriate Comment
KNH771 6/3/2010 7:03PM

    Wow! You had an eventful evening. emoticon The chili sounds great. Chili is one of those flexible pantry things. You can just grab what you have! I almost always have some kind of homemade chili in the freezer.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARVY09 6/3/2010 5:27PM

    That chili sounds amazing, thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEEHOLZ 6/3/2010 4:42PM

    Ummm, appearantly, I'm rearraging my schedule all week, every minutes-LOL!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOPAPGH 6/3/2010 4:26PM

    Flexibility is a virtue. Glad you got your run in and groceries!

Enjoy the visit...

Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 6/3/2010 4:21PM

    The chili sounds awesome! I really admire your reviewing and adjusting your program constantly and building in flexibility and doing what you can when you can.
Enjoy the visit from your sister and I hope you have a good run together!

Report Inappropriate Comment

So how am I doing?

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

On my list from yesterday, let's see how I'm doing so far:

All I know is that I have a plan of action:

1. Talk to DH about my theory re: self-sabotage. emoticon
2. Do ST tonight at home so that I don't feel like I didn't do anything physical today. **** I actually did a couple sets crunches and pushups at work*** emoticon
3. Finish my mission to get the house in order (items other than a to be completed over time - ok actually tomorrow I want b and c to happen as well)--
a. Clean the bathroom tomorrow morning. ***NOT YET***
b. Pack away cold-weather/toowarm clothing ***Put a few things aside***
c. Create a space for sweaty workout clothes to air out - specifically! emoticon!
d. Pack the kitchen items that will not be used before we leave.
e. Pack other items that will go into storage while we're w/ the in-laws
4. GO RUN TOMORROW! emoticon
5. Make a grocery list tonight/tomorrow to be completed shopping on Thursday. Goal - use up pantry items as much as possible between now and when we leave.

So.... I still have:

1. Grocery list tonight shop tomorrow!
3. Clean the bathroom
4. Pack away clothes I won't wear between now and moving day
3. Pack the kitchen items not used between now and moving day
5. Pack stuff that's not coming on the move with us

See what I did there? I accomplished running today but I gotta run tomorrow so it stays. HAHA :D I also prioritized my list by how soon I want things done between now and moving day.

Tomorrow I WILL wake up EARLY to beat the heat for running! I will get my run done EARLY at the arboretum and then go grocery shopping like on one of my favorite days last week. :) Then before I shower I will clean the bathroom. Tomorrow's my last day of work this week and then my sister will be here visiting - HURRAH! I definitely don't want to have chores to do while she's here so that will help motivate me to get everything done tomorrow.


Talked to the DH last night. It felt good to tell him about how I was feeling. I think getting things accomplished around the house has really helped me to feel like I'm Getting Things Done, if you know what I mean. Yes, capitalized. You know that feeling! ACCOMPLISHMENT! SUCCESS! :D hahaha. My failure ANTI-drug! :) He seemed game to go w/ me to the park sometime at night, but he brought up how fun it'd be if we had a dog and I could run a lap w/ the dog and then drop the dog w/ DH for a rest break and then take him w/ me again, etc. And we got sidetracked and just looked at pictures of doggies for adoption and videos of cute puppies for like an hour. HAHAHA. *sigh* sad.

I did NOT do any ST at home last night - BUT! I suspected I might not and to help pass some time at work I did some crunches and girl pushups. I HATE doing girl pushups now. I hate my knees on the ground. I'd much prefer do an angled pushup full length or use my Freestyle Trainer for some deep chest presses or something. It feels so much more effective for the muscles I want to hit without being a pain for other areas (like my wrists and knees). But I did it. Stacking up achievement of small goals to create that upward spiral like it talks about in The Spark! :)

I also ran today - not the 4 miles on my training plan but ..... it was MISERABLE. Absolutely the worst run I've had in a while. My hip/butt was not happy w/ me for sitting all day at work the day before. It was feeling SO GOOD after a weekend of not having to sit here at work. :P I can't wait till this is not part of my daily routine anymore. I need to make sure I get up and move around and stretch throughout the day so that doesn't happen. Plus the heat and humidity were just SMOTHERING me. Tomorrow's run WILL be better.

Thanks for all the great comments on my blog yesterday.

I can do this.
I will trust myself.
I will be good to myself.
I will learn to love myself and realize I deserve both love AND being fit and healthy.
I don't have to be broken to be loved.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNNETH7 6/6/2010 1:16AM

    I'm so proud of you! you really have it all figured out. Clean environments DEFINITELY destress me... I'm sure you'll feel better with less clutter.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLOVERR1 6/3/2010 2:00PM

    You hang in there; I'll do the same! Funny, we're both struggling a bit at the moment with weight/food/maintenance (andbelief in self) issues.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSSUNBUG 6/3/2010 9:43AM

    It looks like you've been doing a lot of thinking, reflecting, planning, organizing, etc. I know you know from your successes already that this is SO key to continued success. And yes, any sort of accomplishment or sense of success you can give yourself just tends to breed more of those things. I make myself to-do lists every day--and sometimes the content is like super lame, but I still do it--because I find it helps me to keep trucking and keep feeling good about myself if I get to check off the things I've managed to get done so far.

Keep puzzling through, and keep striving. You're right--you DESERVE both success and love!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MDTWEETY 6/3/2010 8:54AM

    Congrats on all you got accomplished!! Love to see all those thumbs up icons! :)
Haha...re: your comment on my blog, my DH is a carnivore too. He would definitely NOT join me in my vegetarian week.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRACYZABELLE 6/3/2010 1:35AM

    Getting the shopping done took care of so many things on my list including self sabotage-- when you have your foods you will eat right! Looking forward to the next few days of deliciousness!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    you rock dana. that is all i have to say.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRAVE_NEW_ME 6/2/2010 9:56PM

    Glad you're making so much progress towards your goals. Hope your tomorrow is as productive as your today!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 6/2/2010 9:02PM

    emoticon on getting so much done yesterday and having a great plan for today and tomorrow!

Keep up the good work! emoticon

- Karen

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOHNBABJR 6/2/2010 8:11PM

    "I can do this.
I will trust myself.
I will be good to myself.
I will learn to love myself and realize I deserve both love AND being fit and healthy.
I don't have to be broken to be loved."

Amen, Dana!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MBSHAZZER 6/2/2010 6:57PM

    Another GREAT blog! I love making lists! You are so organized - that is the first step to actually getting things done! Then you get to cross stuff off the list!

I love that you and DH got off track looking at puppies. Every time the BF and I have a serious but uncomfortable convo, the kitties break any tension!

Sorry to hear it was a bad run - sounds like tomorrow will better - early before the heat!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 6/2/2010 4:42PM

    Bouncing back as ever...Go Dana GO!

Hey, sharing a shout-out from another terrific member and her (4A-HEALTHY-BMI) recent blog about maintaining:


This is just FULL of insights for maintenance!


Report Inappropriate Comment

    Conrats on getting your list together & prioritizing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEEHOLZ 6/2/2010 4:09PM

    Lots that you already GOT done! Great job Dana--- keep pushing forward.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUNTRILAUGH 6/2/2010 3:34PM

    Love the affirmations at the end....

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARVY09 6/2/2010 3:32PM

    Glad you ticked a few things off your list and had it out with the DH. Sorry the run didn't go as well as you'd like, but at least you gave it a try! And I think crunches and even girl pushups count as strength training!

I agree...

Report Inappropriate Comment

Losing Weight is not that hard.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

No really, trust me. I've lost a lot of it and it's really not that hard.

You follow a set of parameters, and the math and science speaks for itself. Eat less, move more - weight leaves. Fixing these underlying issues that cause us to gain extra weight is WAY WAY harder.

I'm still not tracking at the moment because I want to learn what I do when I'm not bound by a set of numbers telling me what to do. It's very difficult for me to do this... *sigh* Very frustrating. There have been very good days on this tactic - showing me I know how to treat myself well and am capable of doing it! And then there are some bad days.

I'm trying to figure out what is eating me right now. Today I started to get ready for my run and I thought about all the STUFF that was cluttering around the house -- I would go run and come back and all that stuff would still be sitting there... so I thought to myself, maybe I've been eating worse at home this weekend because of all the clutter putting a background of stress and burden on me and wouldn't I feel great if I got that all taken care of? SO! I did it. I opted not to run (I figure this can be a little cut back week on my running or something so I don't injure myself and get overtrained 3 days off in a row is kind of a lot to me but this was worth it) and I got that all cleaned up.

It feels nice in the house but... there's more to do. I need to clean the bathroom. I need to take care of the bedroom.

There's something else I thought of that might be bothering me as well. So - my sweet and wonderful DH has been feeling "fat" lately himself - he's been gaining weight working on his dissertation and whatnot and he feels very self-conscious about it. I know he feels worried sometimes that I'm going to leave him or something. The thought came into my head that maybe I'm sabotaging myself so that he will not feel bad and that won't be anything that ever comes between us. Now that is stupid. Rationally speaking -- how could hurting myself be productive and positive to our relationship? It's not like I'm actually sacrificing something to his benefit... But I seriously wonder -- I'm doing most of my overeating when he is asleep and I'm by myself so I wonder if that separation is triggering those fears of being alone.......... *SIGH*

STUPID EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And FOOD! Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm a smart woman who knows how to take good care of herself physically, but I don't know that I really understand how to care for these things. At least not yet.

All I know is that I have a plan of action:

1. Talk to DH about my theory re: self-sabotage.
2. Do ST tonight at home so that I don't feel like I didn't do anything physical today.
3. Finish my mission to get the house in order (items other than a to be completed over time - ok actually tomorrow I want b and c to happen as well)--
a. Clean the bathroom tomorrow morning.
b. Pack away cold-weather/toowarm clothing
c. Create a space for sweaty workout clothes to air out - specifically!
d. Pack the kitchen items that will not be used before we leave.
e. Pack other items that will go into storage while we're w/ the in-laws
5. Make a grocery list tonight/tomorrow to be completed shopping on Thursday. Goal - use up pantry items as much as possible between now and when we leave.


I got problems, people! But I think that just makes me human, not a freak. It's hard to deal with. I have been tempted to just simply go back to tracking everything and following the numbers because I know that "works". Well - it DOES work. To lose weight. But I'm afraid that inclination is just another way of running from the hard work it's taking to figure these things out and that it will be much more beneficial to me in the long run to confront them even if it's causing my weight to fluctuate.

I did have some positive actions this weekend.

Saturday I ate too much between when I woke up (very late at like 12:45pm or so) and when I went running later. I stopped eating at around 3pm, so I was eating for around 2 hrs at least. Too much food. I did a 6.5 mile run - cut it short from 7 because of very threatening sounding thunder and the party! - and toward the end I started feeling REALLY sick to my stomach. I was bummed! The host of this party had prepared some of his awesome BBQ, etc. Well -- rather than adding more misery to my miserable self by eating more and more and feeling sicker at the party because I "didn't want to miss out" - I made myself a take home plate to sample the best looking items and just drank a LOT of water.

Later that night I was able to enjoy the food in the comfort of my own home and without feeling sick. So two thumbs up for that! I was proud of listening to my body and finding a way to be flexible.

Yesterday I also ate too much earlier in the day before my DH woke up but then when we went out he wanted to go get some pizza at this place and I was just like *BLURGH* well. We went anyway. I had a bit of the crust and one bite of the pizza because I wanted to taste it and a bite of the tiramisu. Honestly the pizza was NOT good other than the crust (to me). I was very proud of again not just eating to be a part of the group and ordering so I wouldn't MISS anything. I know that is ridiculous and I didn't act on it.

SO! :D One thing kind of conquered this weekend! I also was able to realize that sitting around at home eating and watching TV all day (yep, I was being mindless) made me have a horrible mental image of myself and that when we got out of the house both Sunday evening when I went to my friend's party and Monday evening when we went out to the pizza place (and Target) I was able to see myself in a mirror and in the glass front of the restaurant and realize I was not some huge fat miserable slob - although I was treating myself that way and feeling that way. I was sooooooo stuck inside my HEAD that I was out of touch with reality.

This new thing I'm trying is definitely not going to be a short term weight loss solution but I'm going to stick with it for a while longer. I'm still weighing myself so I do have a number to help keep things overall under control - I'm not trying to gain weight or anything... :P Of course it's gone up after the poor eating days but less than I imagined and I know after a few days of eating better and in reasonable portions it will likely fluctuate back down again. If not I will have to put my experiments on hold for a while so I don't let things get totally out of control to a place that it's harder for me to recover from physically. Does that sound reasonable?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUN_LIFT_EAT 6/2/2010 9:01AM

    Wow! Dana, this is an incredible blog! Thanks so much for sharing this with all of us. I know there are several portions that I can relate to, and I feel confident these themes resonate with a lot of people.

I think counting (you know I don't do it) can definitely serve as a surrogate for other areas of our life that need attention. Which is not at ALL to suggest that it cannot also be useful, healthy, etc.

The armchair psychiatrist in me is really feeling your self-analysis of the situation with your husband. Not to mention the changes you two have gone through with his graduation. Graduation is obviously "good stress" but it is still stress! And our relationships definitely impact upon and influence our diets, self image, etc.

Anyway, you are such a success story! So inspiring and amazing to so many of us, it is really cool how you "keep it real" and show peeps that it takes constant work. I feel like everyday I am battling freaking "psy-ops" in society trying to make us fat! And that is in the best of times, add any extra "stuff" to the constant market/societal pressures we face and it is tough!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MDTWEETY 6/2/2010 7:48AM

    It does feel fantastic to declutter the house, doesn't it?!?! I've been working on that for a while, since we are getting ready to put the house on the market. I truly believe that when my life and stuff around me is cluttered, my brain becomes cluttered too, and that does not lead to good decisions. :) Glad you were able to pinpoint some of the emotions that could be holding you back. Maintenance is way harder than losing weight. I think it's always going to be a bumpy journey but one that is totally manageable. Thank goodness we have Spark! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLE_GIRL 6/2/2010 7:17AM

    Wow! You certainly seemed to have nailed it. I have have had a lot of those same emotions, etc... Thanks for sharing and letting us all know we aren't alone. And thanks for saying that losing weight isn't hard. While that is a tough thing for me to hear, I appreciate it and see it for the truth it is. Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRACYZABELLE 6/2/2010 7:17AM

    We are going shopping today-- I made my list!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SOHOJOSE 6/2/2010 4:22AM

    Wow, scary. I've been going through some of the same stuff as well.

Good luck to you. You sound like you got things under better control than I do. Great job on making a list and wanting to talk to the DH about your feelings. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

Thanks again for showing me that I'm not the only one out feeling this stuff.

Take care!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WOLFKITTY 6/2/2010 12:17AM

    I know, I KNOW!!! OMG.
Take care, Dana! You're always a good example.

Love ya,

Report Inappropriate Comment

    As for the tracking thing, I know when I was doing it seriously I tried to never miss a day and by the time I'd done it for three or so months I knew I could pretty much guess the calories in what I was eating. When I stopped for a week just to see what would happen I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was still doing okay once I started again!

That was a long time ago, though...I'm going to try to do that again! It is good to not be a slave to tracking and the trick to that is to try to work what a certain amount of calories looks like into your brain.

That's just what worked for me....and hopefully will again!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 6/1/2010 9:28PM

    Kudos, kudos and MORE kudos to you Dana!

Your blog is full of SMARTS just EVERYWHERE! Sure we ALL have problems, you betcha! But diggin' down in to unravel, to peel the onion...whew! THAT'S the hard work behind maintaining!

Thank you so much for sharing because I'll tell ya: I see an AWFUL lot of ME in your experiences and I'm betting there are BUNCHES of us all over who are reading your blog just nodding in empathy and having light bulbs going off over the insights you are sharing too!


Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 6/1/2010 8:29PM

    Great plan! I think for me, I haven't learned to get the numbers (especially calories in!) under control yet. So, losing weight seems hard to me because it seems hard to stay in my calorie range. But I know what you mean about how it theoretically is not that hard. I know what to do in theory, but actually doing it is another story!

Good luck with your well-thought-out plan! emoticon

- Karen

Report Inappropriate Comment
ETTEZEUS 6/1/2010 7:42PM

    Hum, I never thought about not food tracking. To me, it's just become a habit. Now, there have been times where I haven't tracked in a while but it's was because of knowing that I overate at the restaurant or BBQ or friends house for dinner. Or the 2 weeks we were in NY, staying with family and not having a say in what was being cooked. And the results of not tracking were not good.

Your blog gave me something to think about.....mindful eating and knowing what and how much I eat, without tracking.


Report Inappropriate Comment
TAMTAM64 6/1/2010 7:33PM

    You are right on target that it is way harder to maintain weight loss & figure out "what is eating you" than losing weight. Anybody can lose weight if they put their minds to it but really transforming the brain & way of thinking is the key to keeping it off.

I believe you have to be "aware" of what you are eating during maintenance but tracking every calorie and measuring out every portion is not the way to live til you die...

You know what the good choices are. You know what reasonable portions are. You know what it feels like to be hungry & full and you know what it feels like to overeat.

One of the greatest lessons you can learn is to "Trust Yourself" - trust in yourself that you are more than able to eat well, eat wisely, and enjoy your food without having to worry about gaining the weight back.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEETZMIX 6/1/2010 6:43PM

    Very true, what causes us to gain weight, over eat and binge are really hard.

I think it's awesome your going to talk to your DH, maybe now that is finished with his dissertation maybe you guys can spend some extra time exercising together. Even if it is just a walk or some ST a day a week. I know it's alot easier when we, the BF and myself, are a team and on the same page. He can still eat way more than me, but he makes the effort to eat a little healthier and measure stuff for me. Plus him dropping a few pounds haven't hurt either lol

I agree about just getting your place together. I did a full clean of my apartment this weekend and realized it was full of dust (I leave the windows open.) But I know when things are in its place, it's kinda peaceful for me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOHNBABJR 6/1/2010 6:41PM

    I like your plan, Dana, and love your positive outlook!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSY_MAGOO 6/1/2010 6:12PM

    Oh Dana- you're sounding like me right now. Luckily I haven't gained any more, but that's purely because of all the running- if it wasn't for that I'd be in trouble cuz my eating has not been good. And I'm doing the same- eating while hubby sleeps or whatnot. Do I not want him to know I'm eating junk? I think it's those old ashamed feelings- knowing I'm doing something "bad" but not wanting to stop it. Notice I didn't say 'not being able to stop it'. I could stop- I could put the chocolate down and walk out of the kitchen, but I'm don't... *sigh* we both gotta figure it out.
And big pat on the back to you for doing so well at the BBQ- controlling the urge to social eat is one of my big struggles. Not just to be not left out but I think for me it's a "look- I eat! I promise you I didn't starve the weight off" thing... anyways- yay you on the BBQ!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRE7482 6/1/2010 6:09PM

    I think what you're saying makes complete sense. Also, if you're self sabatoging it's good of you to recognize it now. I have self sabotaged for different reasons before, but by the time I realized it, it was way too late. I know you'll get it all work out and do just fine.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANEPANALIPTI 6/1/2010 5:55PM

    I admire you a lot! Thanks for sharing!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEEHOLZ 6/1/2010 5:04PM

    I love this blog--- i have been doing some thinking myself about tracking v non-tracking, stress, overexercising etc.
I commend you for DEALING with your REAL issues rather than just "controlling" them with tracking!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Totally reasonable AND I'm SO VERY where you are. I over did it some this weekend too and was all in my head feeling totally like my FAT self again when in reality I'm not - I'm a healthier and "lighter" person and the scales this morning did show an increase!! ARRGGHH!!! BUT, the one thing bad from this rather long weekend was the fact that I didn't drink my water each day as I normally do so I'm sure some of that is water weight and like you I'll continue to watch and if it doesn't go back down then back to tracking every single thing and putting off "learning" to eyeball everything!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    ooo i like sharon's brain training saying. i guess that is what i am working on too. what an insightful blog. very well written i may add too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MBSHAZZER 6/1/2010 3:38PM

    Dana, I think your plan sounds very reasonable. You are one smart woman! First of all, I think it's key to realize that tracking all the time is no way to live and no way to maintain. Just not feasible in the long run. Second of all, it's extremely insightful to realize that if weight were all about the math, not very many people would be overweight! There is sooooo much more going on than just food, so identifying those issues for yourself is the key to maintaining your weight loss.

Now, I've never been overweight, but I still have days where I feel enormous... so I can imagine that for someone who has lost A LOT of weight, it can be hard sometimes to reconcile the brain with the body... it sounds like what you are doing is GREAT "brain training" for continued success! And like you said, if things start getting out of control, you can always go back to the tried and true calorie counting before things get out of hand.

GREAT blog! :D

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARVY09 6/1/2010 3:37PM

    Yeah, maintenance sounds terrifying to me, so I applaud you for being so honest about it and sharing your journey with us rather than just splitting and letting us wonder what happened to post-weight loss Dana.

I know that I gained a lot of my weight around bar exam time so I can understand what your DH is going through. Perhaps there is an activity you both can do that quick and enjoyable and makes him feel better about himself. I know if someone told me "OK, we're going to play tennis for an hour a week" during that time it might have allowed me to channel my nerves into something other than food.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Rest Day

Friday, May 28, 2010

Yep. Not a lot to blog about.

Just wanted to say that when reading over my last blog I thought it seemed pretty mean/offensive when I said I got eyerolly over her spirituality. On the one hand - I have to admit, it's true - but it's not so much her beliefs as the way she writes about it -- like some new agey amorpheous spiritual ... I dunno. Hard to put my finger on it. It's the attitude and not the content. Because as I wrote, the content actually did resonate with me after I got past the initial annoyance factor of the packaging on those particular subjects. :)

I do have respect for other people's varying belief systems and would never roll my eyes at someone if they were telling me about their beliefs! I do draw a line somewhere but it's not at people who believe in a higher power that isn't necessarily God, or at people who are just atheist or something... more so at super crazy cult like beliefs. :) haha.

Looking forward to the concert tonight!!

I was looking at the weather forecast for the weekend trying to plan when I'll run and honestly - NO time looks good. I know I'll be up late tonight and probably tomorrow night (concert, party - although BWRC parties aren't known to be all night ragers or anything.. HAHAHA) and the heat and humidity here in AL are just NOT letting up anytime soon. Getting up early will most certainly result in a dead on the feet run, but sleeping in will result in having to run at the hottest part of the day. It's quite a conundrum. I'm thinking what I'll do is flip my runs AGAIN - I've been WANTING to do my "Long Run" on Saturday and the shorter weekend run on Sunday - like a long run and then recover run - but considering I have a better chance of getting to bed earlier on Saturday night...and there's a nice block of "mostly cloudy" weather on the forecast for Sunday morning.... I'm thinking 3-4 tomorrow and aiming for 7 again on Sunday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 5/31/2010 9:45AM

    Hope the runs worked out like you planned.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANEPANALIPTI 5/30/2010 7:37AM

    Hope you get that run in! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOHNBABJR 5/29/2010 9:56PM

    Dana, I hope you're enjoying the concert. Good luck on your runs; I know what you mean about the heat and humidity!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRE7482 5/29/2010 12:14PM

    I saw the author when she was on Oprah a few weeks ago and had a few eye rolling moments myself lol! I hope the concert was fabulous!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MBSHAZZER 5/29/2010 7:22AM

    Could you run in the early evening, or would that run into your plans?

I didn't think your last blog post was offensive at all. People's spiritual / religious beliefs, or lack thereof, are personal. If someone is sharing them with you, it's either because they trust you (and like you said, you would never eyeroll in that case) or because they are putting it out there in a public forum in a book, which then opens them up to criticism. FWIW, I do the eyeroll thing when I read about things that are a little "fringe".

Have a great weekend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 5/28/2010 5:37PM

    Hey, do you have a day off on Monday (Memorial Day)? Maybe you could do one of your runs that day.

Have a emoticon weekend!

- Karen

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEEHOLZ 5/28/2010 2:37PM

    Have a fun week-end! I checked out the book in the bookstore, but have to write my research paper first... more interested now.

Report Inappropriate Comment

My muscles are sore, but my heart is uplifted!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

So - this morning I had what is likely to be my last row with the Black Warrior Rowing Club. :( I am confident I will be able to join another rowing club someday in the future, but not sure when that day will be and we are almost certainly not returning HERE so that's that! Maybe I can row on a visit sometime or something!

The girl who is currently the amazing scheduling coordinator is also leaving - either about the same time or shortly after I am. The club is going to take a hard hit this summer! I really hope it survives - at the same time I'm glad I don't have to help it work through that and that I don't have to depend on this particular local rowing club for my future rowing possibilities. I love the people and the rowing, but the organization is hard to keep moving in a positive direction as I've experienced on the Board. Maybe true for other organizations as well -- I don't think I'll be volunteering to do much more than be a very active and supportive participant in something like this for a LONG TIME. :) hehe.

This morning's row was REALLY GOOD. It was tough -- but good. We had a very brief warmup - only did pick and reverse pick drills. Then it was on to rotating through 6's, then rotating between 8's and 6's. Then we spun the boat and rowed all 8's the entire way back, doing pressure pieces (intervals) on the way. I have all these great new rowing blisters that will not be hardened into useful rowing calluses anymore. I also got a new rowing wound -- when getting out of the boat one of the exposed bolts on the outside of the shell that hold the oar riggers on the boat dug into and scraped along my arm. YEAH. I was pretty much trapped against it until I could get up. So I have a nice... cm long? ... gouge in my arm that has a bruise under/around it. FABULOUS! haha.

I also had only about 4 hrs of sleep last night (not surprising) and my quads were definitely sore from yesterday's hilly arboretum adventure! I started running and then decided to take a different turn after covering 3/4 of a mile of my usual route -- I found aNOTHER great new place to run (as long as it's not too sunny/hot cause there's NO shade) along the river on the road that leads to the dam and a landing dock. Totally flat and great view! :) Not even any camber to the road and zero traffic. So... wonderful. :) Unfortunately it's about 1.83 miles out and back added to the trail I was originally started on, so I came short of my 4 miles goal today (totalled 3.33 when I mapped it). I knew I hadn't gone 4 miles - given how I was feeling and the duration - but considering how I felt when I got back to my car I was happy with my run and called it a day.

TRYING SO HARD NOT TO BE INJURED!!!!! I went home and entered my workout, took a shower, ate and then did some foam rolling while watching Bones. And then back to bed to try to get some sleep before time to get ready for work.

I have a BIG weekend coming up! :) Friday night is a concert of a local band my DH and I LOVE (Baak Gwai), Saturday night is the rowing club's send off party for our assistant coach AND ME which is SO NICE! He's graduated w/ his Master's in Engineering but actually got a job as a Rowing Coach in... New Hampshire? Someplace in that general area of the country. haha. So I'm very excited for him. So since we're both leaving they kinda combined it -- I guess no one knew about Scheduling Girl leaving when they planned the party yet... although I think she plans to row and schedule until she leaves so maybe they'll do something separately for her. Then SUNDAY night a good friend of ours (LAFTERSFREE *AHEM*) is putting together a little going away party for us as well! :)

And to top it all off - I get Monday off from work! We haven't been closed on Memorial Day like... since I started working here 4 years ago. So that is nice. Next week will be a short and sweet 3 day workweek for me. Sister's coming next weekend to visit! :D

Anyway -- about my heart being uplifted. I've felt very positive lately about my healthy actions and all. BTW the scale was back down this morning. haha. But that's not really it -- I really love the mindset I'm getting into about everything and I hope it is not just a transient thing. I hope if my mind lets any negativity seep in I'm able to recognize it, acknowledge it, and debunk it and kick it OUT.

I'm probably going to change my little SparkStatus soon -- it's been reading Women Food and God for ages now. But really, that book helped flip some important switches in my brain I think. She gets a little loopy on the God part in my opinion -- as someone who is religious in a Christian faith, reading her talking about how God is inside us or any of her other little statements about what she thinks God is (which totally doesn't jive with my faith) I have to kinda roll my eyes a bit, but really when I think about the principles of what she was saying - how we can connect to God through loving ourselves or whatever the heck... it really makes sense. I believe that we are children of God and that we have a divine nature in our being. Our bodies have been called temples. By treating ourselves well, we are treating our temples well and opening ourselves to spiritual growth and realizing our divine nature. It's really beautiful!

Yes - I do get a little eye-rolly at the kind of open ended generic spiritualism the way it's talked about in that book - but that's really the only part I wasn't into. There's a great section in there called "It's not about the weight, but it IS about the weight, too." Or something like that. Basically covering the fact that while the deep down issues we are correcting in trying to turn to a healthy relationship with food and our bodies is NOT about losing weight. BUT - if we continue to gain weight and degrade our physical health, we will not be able to live to enjoy a healthy relationship with our bodies. We become trapped in the excess weight. But losing weight is simply focusing on a symptom and not the source.

ANYWAY! Enough of that. I will try not to ramble about that book too much more because I swear, I'm not getting paid to advertise it. ;) HAHAHA!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 6/1/2010 11:21AM

    Hope you had a SUPER weekend!


Report Inappropriate Comment

    Have you read other books that talk about health and fitness in a Christian context? I'd be curious to learn more about that. I know there are teams here for Christian women and I wonder what they find in scripture to support their Spark journeys.


Report Inappropriate Comment
TAIMOIRAI 5/28/2010 12:51PM

    That gouge on your arm is just a sign that you're seriously Hardcore.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEEHOLZ 5/28/2010 9:58AM

    This blog is really uplifting! Enjoy all the parties and events and that feeling of being healthy- soooo awesome!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOHNBABJR 5/28/2010 7:23AM

    Congratulations on your positive success, Dana. You continue to be an inspiration to the rest of us.

Enjoy your special weekend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CMRAND54 5/27/2010 9:20PM

    Enjoy your weekend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 5/27/2010 7:14PM

    emoticon on the rowing and running! It's too bad that you had to get a rowing injury, but just think -- if it scars, you'll have a "last day of rowing with the Black Warrior Rowing Club" scar to tell people about! emoticon

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling positive about your healthy lifestyle changes! I've been struggling with my attitude and motivation for a while, and it's good for me to read about someone's success with attitude change. I'm also glad you're enjoying the book Women Food and God. I might try reading it sometime but it's hard to say when since my "to-read" list is so long!

Keep up the good work!

- Karen

Comment edited on: 5/27/2010 7:15:16 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
MBSHAZZER 5/27/2010 5:48PM

    Farewell, Black Warriors! It sounds like you have a really nice weekend planned. Enjoy it! I don't know how you get by on 4 hours of sleep. That's a nap for me!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 5/27/2010 5:46PM

    Enjoy your weekend! Sounds fabulous! And ouch on the rowing injury!

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 Last Page