Friday, May 21, 2010
This eating mindfully thing is a challenge, but it's going well so far I think!
**BASICALLY LOTS OF FOOD TALK AHEAD- BE FOREWARNED!**
Last night I took home a couple servings of a home made strawberry shortcake that a lady made from my work. DH ate one and I ate part of one and gave him the rest. I sat at the table (after the first bite or two in the kitchen when I was like - HEY! GO SIT DOWN!) and sitting there I focused on the taste and how I felt and after I had enjoyed some I gave the rest to DH. Felt really good about that!
Dinner was Chicken Parmesan w/ whole wheat pasta and sauce. I make this chicken parmesan which is soooooo easy to be healthy and the sauce is made from a can of crushed tomatoes seasoned. Ronzoni Healthy Harvest thin spaghetti and BAM! DINNER! The Chicken Parm is just bread crumbs (I use panko) mixed w/ some Garlid & herb Mrs. Dash (AWESOME) and some grated parmesan. So no sodium like in pre-seasoned bread crumbs! (WELL except for from what's in the cheese, but vs. using seasoned breadcrumbs+cheese) :) I seasoned the crushed tomatoes w/ the Mrs.Dash also. Cooked the noodles. Cook the coated chicken in a drizzle of olive oil. BAM! DINNER! DH really enjoyed it. :) As did I! Hahaha. I've tracked this before and know it's a reasonable healthy meal, I did not measure anything because I know that the amount of breadcrumbs/parm that will actually stick to the chicken is very minimal and not going to be too hihg calorically. I did measure the oz of noodles before cooking, and of course the sauce from a can. But yeah. Good stuff.
Later on I did have some hot chocolate as well - probably could've done without that. But overall I felt really good about my choices yesterday.
This morning I sat at the table and ate my breakfast.
I AM SO SAD. The yogurt I brought to work today for my first snack had MOLD in it. The date on the container was 6/4/10. I hope maybe the foil top had a break in the seal or something because I have like 2-3 more containers at home that I really need not to have spoiled because that would be so lame. I'm trying this Chobani (?) vanilla greek yogurt - too much sugar for me. I won't be buying it again. But it was much cheaper than the Fage so I thought I'd give it a try. I just don't want to have bought something I like less w/ more sugar to save money and have half of it go to waste so I really could have bought less of the kind I like more! :D (Of course I didn't know that for sure before I bought it but still!)
So I ate my apple (that was supposed to be part of my lunch) instead. Luckily I brought for lunch a LOT of spinach for a salad w/ feta and chicken and I brought the container of feta and salad dressing, too so I can expand my salad easily to compensate! :P
**FOOD TALK OVER!!**
So today is a rest day for me generally, but I plan on doing some ST tonight/throughout the day as well. Nothing lower body - but core and upper body. I already did a set of tricep dips from my desk.
Tomorrow there will be a rowing exhibition as part of this town heritage festival thing so I'm going to go row in that - but I don't have to show up to that until 10:30 which is nice because I'm planning on getting my long run in early tomorrow before that. I'm aiming for 7 miles tomorrow, but we will see. I just want to make sure I don't get injured and my first goal is to actually run for 5 days total for this week - I figure once I get the routine in place, I can work on bumping up a day here and there. But I DO want to get my long runs in a good place as well - so I'm still going to aim for 7 tomorrow, but Sunday's scheduled 4 might be shorter if need be.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
So multiple good things:
1. I put myself first and did not go rowing. I know that sounds strange because I love rowing, but I was torn about going and most of the reasons for going were about not letting other people down. (They had a full 8 boat but a few others wanted to take a 4 also but it would have meant the coach not coaching but coxing AND coaching which is less good.) Anyway. I decided to let the 8 have the full attention of the coach and to let myself rest and be able to put my focus on running today.
2. Either I was rewarded for not trying to do too much today or my hip just isn't actually hurt, but today's run felt great and the hip feels fine. WOOHOO! I went only 3.83 miles vs. 4 but that's close enough for me, especially since there were a couple of beastly hills to run up in the route I chose today. I ran a loop that I usually run most of but I went the opposite direction and changed part of it to a section of road I've only run a couple of times (adding a challenging hill with the different section, and swapping a long slow incline for a steeper hill at the end by changing directions). It felt good to change things up and I felt good running, too. Avg HR was only 165 even though it was in the low to mid 80's and I was tackling hills. Granted max was 187, but I figured it got up there once or twice.
3. I weighed myself this morning. I'm not making massive ground but the number is lower than it has been in a while! :) That is VERY motivating for me to keep moving forward!
4. 2 more meals down at the table -- 3 if you count pre and post workout today as separate meals.
One thing - I DID eat both of my "exception" foods last night. Popcorn and hot chocolate on the couch, in front of the TV. Dinner was weird. I blame that. HAHAHA. My hubby is way into sardines lately. We've only purchased them twice but he's like, they're good for you right? And I'm like yeah, healthy fats, omega 3's like crazy, protein, and I've read calcium from the fishy bones as well. So dinner was sardines on crackers - I bought these new wheat thins flatbreads that were very good bytheway - 30 cal per flatbread. One can of sardines was simply packed in water, the other was packed w/ olive oil, olives, garlic, red bell peppers... "Mediterranean" style it said on the package. Anyway. Dug the Mediterranean fishies ok, the other ones were just there. Tasty enough but not my new favorite food or anything. But I ate all the sardines+crackers standing in the kitchen. Then I made a salad and ate that sitting at the table... and then I was still hungry so I went with my bonus snacks.
But this morning - PB+Pretzel sticks were had at the table before my run and Cottage Cheese + puffedkamut&millet + dried blueberries + honeydrizzle was had post run. Veryvery nice.
I haven't tracked anything yesterday or today so far, but I'm feeling positive about my choices because I am not eating mindlessly in marathon sessions in front of the TV. I'm planning healthy meals and snacks and eating them mindfully. :) It feels very good! I may track again soon or may not... I think I will need to if I eat something very out of the ordinary and can't estimate from personal knowledge. But honestly, most things I eat I have a good idea what's in them. I think at times before I've tracked as a way to say - STOP ENOUGH or other times used it as a way to say - Hey! I have 200 cal left, what delicious goodie can I fit in??? So I'm enjoying this effort to eat mindfully without tracking because I'm thinking about if I'm hungry, and eating with purpose at a meal-type scenario. Anything outside of that setting is very minimal in calories. It may not work but it feels good for now so I'm gonna go with it.
I did not do the freestyle trainer today, but my plan is to either do that tonight w/ weights & bodyweight or tomorrow w/ the freestyle trainer before or maybe even after work. I will see if my DH is up for hitting a park after work tomorrow...
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Well I gave that running skirt one last shot and it sucked today. Falling off the butt or riding up the legs, I had one choice or the other. I tried layering a longer tank so I could let it sit lower and not feel half-naked, but it didn't work. The skirt just kept going down and then the tank came up and I REALLY felt naked! HAHAHAHA. I had put some body glide on the legs in case of ride up and while I still decided to cut the run short, before I turned around to head back I hiked the shorts up and just let it rub. :P Not comfortable, but no chafing at least - thanks to the bodyglide!
So... one more thing to try actually - washing and drying in the dryer to see if I can shrink it a bit and if that will fit better. Otherwise the next step is buying some real compression shorts (the shorts in this thing are fairly loose gripping spandex type material) and gutting it and running w/ my own shorts. Not something I'd BUY it in order to do, but at least a way to maybe salvage the use of something I've already purchased ya know?
But - the hip felt fine! :D Just fine and normal. YAY. And the pace was ok. 12:30 ish with a 5 min walking warmup and some skirt adjusting walking moments included. The route if I leave from my house goes downhill and then uphill back home and that's just mean. HAHAHA.
I ate my dinner last night at the table, not even any popcorn snack. Dinner last night was some brussel sprouts (similar to the recipe I used that I said tasted like good eggroll innards) but off the top of my head, and I was out of sesame oil so I splashed some tamari and called it good. Also added mushrooms. Some chicken cooked w/ some tamari and some rice w/ beetsteak furikake on it for some seasoning. It was good!
This morning breakfast at the table - before I left for my run, PB & pretzel sticks. After my return I even sat at the table to eat my protein bar! :D haha. WOOHOO! GO ME!
I may be rowing tomorrow - I signed up but also told them that if the number was odd, please drop me first. I want to get my running in and it has priority over running and I want to take care of my hip as well so... we'll see how that all goes. The good news is that if I run after rowing it'll be nice and early - cool, nice flat trail to run on next to the boathouse... although I'm getting a bit sick of that trail now it's a good one... just run it a bit too many times I think. And hopefully some freestyle trainer. I think I'll bring an apple and/or some GU w/ me tomorrow to ensure I don't get too wiped out to continue.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
So... :( I might have an injury! I'm holding off judgement for the moment and just acknowledging that there has been some pain in my hip but I'm hoping with some good stretching/foamrolling/icing/listening to my body - I can continue to run through it. It mostly doesn't hurt but randomly twinged with sharper pain yesterday when I stood up at some point at work, and today during my run ONCE. But the rest of the time - fine. Just some tightness and a little bit of soreness in the area, but nothing PAINFUL. SO! I'm hoping for no more pain and that I'm fine, but I'm definitely being MINDFUL of that area so that I do not really injure myself.
So today the plan was 4 miles but I did about 3.2... I was running a small loop (.8 miles) and I just was DONE after 4 laps. I think that's my max. 4 loops or 2 out and backs - seeing a place 4 times does me in. I was going absolutely bonkers at the Relay for Life running 10 laps of that thing at a time... ugh. hahaha. Then I did a short round of Freestyle Trainer but I started feeling really kind of nauseated and whatnot - I think I really needed food, didn't eat before workout today was planning on eating after which has been pretty typical for me lately but maybe I need to change gears on that as well cause I seriously pooped out today. Still managed 2 sets each of deep chest press, rows, triceps press, lat pullover, and a couple of planks w/ some mountain climber style movements w/ feet in the trainer. I went to a different park today and found a really great spot for using the trainer, but it's sand - pretty well packed so it was fairly stable, but I am thinking bringing a towel will work for not getting all sandy cause it was pretty ridiculous today. (This freaking AWESOME video on YouTube shows a lady ROCKING a TRX workout while on vacation and she was in a sandy area of a playground w/ a towel so I immediately thought of that - she was doing this cool thing where she'd roll back in a ball and come up to a squat without using the straps, but then press into the handles and jump back into a plank position, then jump back forward (so a squat thrust with hands in the trainer handles) then repeat, roll again - squat thrust, etc. Very cool. )
So far - 2 meals at home at the table. Dinner last night and breakfast this morning -- well, except for a protein bar in the car cause I ran out of time for eating any more at home between showering, making lunch, etc. after my workout. Last night I did eat some popcorn in front of the TV on the couch but that is it. I'm optimistic about this change... it definitely FELT different. I felt... grown up? :D hahahahaha.
Tomorrow's plan - 4 miles. Will definitely be flexible depending on how I feel and aim for a slower speed than I went even today. (Today I had an average of 12:11 including 5 min walking warmup, was aiming to be close to the upper of my "easy" run target from McMillan's chart based on my 5K PR - which is 12:09 - thinking I might need to recalculate those training paces to be a bit slower... but we'll see. Tomorrow I will plan on using the upper "recovery" miles range (the slowest range) which is 13:09.
I'm going to try to stick with these for a while, using 13:09 as my slowest goal pace... but I think I might do well to recalculate using my 2nd best 5K time, or close to it - around 32min. According to the equivalency nonsense that still would put me under a 2:30 (2:27) half and about a 5:11 full - those are really my main goals for my next big races. Under 2:30 on the half and close to 5:15 for the full (at least under 5:30). I'm hoping to see some big improvements in pace before then, run another 5K or little race to give myself a better idea or at least use the half as a basis for a goal on my full, but knowing what paces I've been running compared to those suggestions gives me an idea as well. They say a good indicator for a full can also be your half x2 plus 10% - so if I run a 2:30 half that's a 5:30 full... we'll see. In any case I am looking for a pretty big PR on my next full. Just gotta stay uninjured and keep plugging away!
Monday, May 17, 2010
... I eat in front of the TV.
I think this needs to change - STAT.
This is where I have these episodes of overeating I mention. I've always eaten in front of the TV - it's rare for me to even think of a time where I've been at home and NOT eaten in front of the TV.
I think building a new habit of NOT eating in front of the TV will combat the overeating. I'm eating good food - my house doesn't have a bunch of junk in it - but I'm still eating too much. I'm not tracking when I'm not at work, and coinciding with the not tracking at home is all the eating in front of the TV.
I'm NOT going to say I can't watch TV while eating -- but I'm going to sit at our table. I know I will make minor minor exceptions to this rule. It's just wrong to eat popcorn sitting at a table. Sorry. HAHAHA And if I'm drinking hot chocolate, I'm going to be cuddling on the couch. But seriously, I think I need to break the association of sitting on the couch, watching TV, and eating. I think I get this feeling like I need to constantly be munching. When I'm busy, out of the house, etc. - I eat better. When I'm at home and "relaxing" I'm consuming food almost constantly. This NEEDS to change. It's worse when I'm alone. If DH is sleeping.
I made these AMAZING "protein" bars for the bake/yard sale. Very similar to my previously used recipe (Heaven's Protein Bars on Sparkrecipes.com), only w/ applesauce instead of water in the wet mixture. Everyone raved about them! But I ate sooooo many between yesterday and today.
I am going to start logging my food on paper as well. I think I need to help rebuild the consciousness that if I'm not tracking it online, it still counts. :P I came to work and wrote down/estimated everything I've eaten so far today and it totals 1200 calories. THAT'S A WHOLE DAY of a dieter's calories in the MORNING. Well, obviously I'm not hungry right now for my usual "snack". When I entered my very light lunch plus a snack for later this evening, I come in at 1615. My goal is to come in close to 2000 calories today.
Yesterday I made myself too late to get to church on time, so I stayed home - didn't run - just stayed home and did some of this mindlesscouchtveating. By the time DH woke up I was full, but then I did eat a little more after he was awake. I was supposed to run 7 miles yesterday according to my selected mileage building plan, actually planned on 6.5... but I almost didn't go at all.
I started getting all guilty and depressed over not going to church AND eating too much AND not doing any chores around the house AND not running earlier and all of this nonsense. Luckily my DH is pretty much the best in the world. He helped me open up to him and he helped me feel better and also decide to actually get out there and do my run. He helped remind me that I would feel better if I did it - I would have a sense of having accomplished something instead of all the guilt and shame I was feeling.
ISN'T HE THE GREATEST????
I confessed to him I was afraid to talk about these feelings because I just feel so stupid for making the same mistakes over and over again - I eat too much, feel guilty and beat myself up. Until I get out of my little bubble of emotion inside my head. You know - it reminds me now that I'm writing about it of something that came up in Women Food and God... something that flipped a switch in my head.
She wrote about how we feelings are an emotion that happens - strictly the feeling that we have, and reactions are the conclusions we draw about what we're feeling. Over time if you have the same reaction over and over again, that turns into a belief. Anyway - she wrote about how people will experience a reaction that is based in the past - and not on actual current events.
For example - she wrote about how someone was feeling lonely because her daughter moved out of the house and through prompting about asking her what was wrong with being alone, she found out that she was tying the lonely feeling to being left alone with a pervert uncle as a child and that abuse and feeling out of control etc. Sometimes we don't follow our feelings to the root and we just get stuck in this panic place.
My guilt about eating to much.... my feelings of shame... I found I was feeling afraid to show DH these feelings because I was worried he'd get tired of dealing with my problems!! I dunno where that comes from, but the reaction that I was getting to that was being prompted by the feelings just didn't make sense once examined in the light. I was getting stuck in a dark place inside my head that WAS NOT REAL. You know? Does that make sense? Whether it's specifically based in a past traumatic event like the example in the book or not, sometimes these reactions - the conclusions based on feeling/emotion - can be debunked if we find out what we're really getting at.
I learned this a while ago when I examined some feelings around not thinking I could go exercise for whatever reason - corporate lawyer trainer was born! HAHAHA :D The logical voice of reason to tear holes in the stupid excuses my subconscious mind was supplying to me not working out based on some basic fear. Was I really afraid of people seeing me do some move and that's why I said I wasn't going to the gym cause I didn't have enough time? (After making myself not have enough time by dilly dallying... ) hahaha. You know? Some seemingly rational coverup reason for the irrational underlying cause?
*sigh* I'm maybe getting a bit too deep for anyone's good right now, even my own, but I am obviously, clearly, still a work in progress. I have great days where my relationship with food is healthy and I feel fantastic, I make great choices and feel like I am demonstrating my idea of a good healthy diet. And other days I eat mindlessly and even maliciously (acknowledging I'm full but saying dangit I want to eat this anyway so I'm going to do it) and I don't understand why. But I'm working on understanding the why. And in the process trying to minimize the damages by putting boundaries in place.
So - new boundary. Food is not a pastime for my mouth to have something to do while I'm entertaining my mind with TV. I will eat at the table. I will not require the television to be off, but I will set boundaries around my mealtimes and even the majority of my snacks by eating them at the table.
BAM! DONE!!!!!!! hahaha. :)
It might be the next step needs the TV to be off, but we'll try this first. I actually think it will make a big difference.
Anyway -- end result yesterday I did my run, got in almost 5.5 miles (so only 1 mile short of what I intended to do), did some stretching afterward, felt accomplished. My run was very uncomfortable for alot of it because of side stitches and stomach cramps. (*DUH*) DH and I went to see Iron Man 2 which was awesome but I did embarrass myself by struggling to stay awake and totally ANSWERING A QUESTION ASKED ON SCREEN TO ANOTHER CHARACTER out LOUD. YES. HAHAHAHA. I was just sitting there and I was like, "Yes" And then I was like - holy crap, did I just say that out loud?!??!? The theater was nearly empty - I think there were 3 other little bunches of 2-3 people aside from DH and I... so ... yeah I wonder if anyone heard me but DH... hahaha.
Today was a rest day from workouts. I went grocery shopping, got some great deals on some meat that I'm excited about - some eye of round steaks that mostly went in the freezer. It's Laura's Lean Beef brand, so very lean, and no antibiotics or hormones which I like. Woot. Also some chicken breasts on sale.
Rowing is switching to a sign-up system for every row and I left before I realized that I didn't sign up and can't email from work, but it's ok - tomorrow I will run 4 miles and do some more with my Freestyle Trainer. Ditto for Wednesday. And then Thursday will be a row and 4 miles running but maybe no Freestyle Trainer. I need to figure out a plan for what I will do with that thing exactly. I watched some awesome videos Saturday evening to get ideas and get pumped. :) It totally worked. HAHA But I still want to have a better plan of what I intend to do - I'd like to use it often, so a muscle group rotation seems to make sense, but it's such a great full body tool that I don't know that's the best way to make use of it. So I'm still thinking on this. Maybe Mon/Wed/Sun? Monday's typically been an off day, maybe Monday's I can actually do some lower body work plus upper body and core on it since it's a non-running day, then Wed/Sun I can do strictly upper body and core type stuff to supplement my run. Long run's are scheduled for Saturday's so Sunday's run will be short ones.. yeah. I like it! I missed one day this week though for this particular plan so we'll see. I might do Tue/Thur/Sun instead...
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