Friday, February 26, 2010
Way too much food this morning.
I DO still think taking today as an off day from the gym and pushing lifting to tomorrow is a good idea, because I will likely run with my sister on Monday which is my usual off day (I'll be off of work that day). BUT.
I am not buying any CANDY for a while. :P I thought I was so smart with the valentine conversation hearts -- but I think having that pure sugar everyday was not doing me any favors. And then I added chocolate this morning. All that plus a normal breakfast... yeah. :P
So now I feel exactly like my blog title - BLURGH.
If I don't eat my first snack of the day -- which I feel is probably going to be pretty easy to do since right now my stomach is sooooooo not interested -- I can manage an almost 500 cal dinner and be within range for the day. If not, I'm working with closer to 400 cals so it'll be tougher, but still doable. The only trick is I'm going to a concert tonight and usually that means food is crazy, but - I know what I have to do. I did the hardest part which is to TRACK this morning's nonsense and face it.
And next time I go shopping there will be no chocolate, no candy hearts, none of that coming home. I was doing well for a while using hot chocolate as an occasional sweet treat -- it takes TIME to eat/drink and it's indulgent feeling without being too costly in the calorie department. I have that already in the house. Just gotta take a break from buying those little "EXTRAS" for a while. I will be asking the DH to comply - although it's so sweet when he buys a nice little treat. (Got me this super classy chocolate bar from the health food store the other day - sweetriot so it had little crunchy cacao nibs in it SO GOOD) I can live without it for a while. :P I think I need a sweet stuff detox for a bit.
If it's not hot chocolate, and I want something sweet, it'll be FRUIT. Back to NATURE please. *sigh* :P
New plan this weekend -
tonight - CONCERT! DANCING!! burn some bonus calories by rocking out!
Tomorrow - work, LIFTING!, shower, get ready, to Birmingham to the temple w/ family, come home, get ready for Grad Student Olympics - will involve volleyball, cornhole, basketball skills, and.. I can't remember will wear HRM and try to get some calories burned. :P then movie trivia.
They will have pizza during movie trivia but really??? I don't want crappy free pizza. Really I don't. I am telling myself. It will be gross. I know it. I will feel gross by eating it. I DON'T WANT THEIR CRAPPY FREE PIZZA! I will need to eat something at some point though. :P Gotta think of what I can bring with me and what I can eat beforehand or something.
Sunday - church. relaxing. ROWING!
Monday - OFF OF WORK! YAY! :D run with sister. Band at night.
OK. That's enough for now.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I DID IT! :D hahaha It is SO TOUGH to try to simulate racing on my own. I try to go out fast, but not TOO fast -- and then try to maintain the intensity more than I would on a regular training run, and then finish as fast as I can muster without burning out before the end.
This run has a massive hill toward the beginning that really sapped a lot of energy -- I spent quite a while running more slowly to try to recover from really PUSHING myself up that hill! Probably should've taken it easier on that hill but I had race day fire in my brain. :D hahaha.
It was only about 5 seconds slower per mile than my performance at the Marathon relay though! 11:44 pace. :) So not FAST by any means, but for ME -- it's definitely the fastest I've run that distance by myself ever. And pretty close to the fastest I've run that distance period probably. Someday I'd love to be able to run faster LONGER, but just gotta keep working toward that goal and not expect for speed to come overnight. Last year I focused on distance and not at all on speed, so maybe this year I can work in some speed work.
The plan for the rest of the week is to LIFT tomorrow, run a short bit after work on Saturday, and row on Sunday. There's also the possibility of participating in some stuff at this event on Saturday evening but I haven't really gotten all the details on that yet... :D But it will be for FUN for sure. My sister is coming to visit this weekend, too, and I'm so excited to see her.
Right now I feel WIPED. Hahaha! :D My HR was BUMPING during my virtual race -- about the same as at the Marathon Relay -- so maybe it's NOT so hard for me to simulate racing conditions for myself? My pace and HR being so similar?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Trying to work back into my GROOVE.
Or find a new groove? Either way! I'd like that feeling of hitting all marks and feeling like I'm moving along swell again please. :D hahaha.
I'm working on it -- today I got up ready to go run when I was delayed by having to make sure my DH's computer wasn't dying (apparently the system's suggested system restore made it ok, dunno what was up - hope we see nothing else happen from that...) went on a SHORT run (1.82 miles) and it was pretty gorgeous out - except the wind. Ugh if it hadn't been windy the weather would have been SO PERFECT -- when there was no wind, the sun made it feel WARM out, but when there WAS wind, it felt colder than it really was -- irritating. But I think I dressed perfectly for the run, just mildly chilly from the wind at times but otherwise very comfortable.
Did I mention I LOVE my new running cap that I got from the Mercedes Marathon Weekend? It's from racetrackers.com - who offer a 5% discount to race organizers who get their races sanctioned by USATF by the way. :P haha. Something I learned! But yeah -- so cool, got a terry cloth type band in front to keep sweat at bay, the top is sooooo lightweighed and those colored stripes are mesh down the sides. I feel very sporty having an actual hat made to run in. :P Also my eyes have never been so happy as when running with that bill plus the sunglasses I picked up at the expo. YAY! No squinty eyes! And I think the not squinting translates to the rest of the body to aid with relaxation as well.
So post run, to the LIBRARY to pick up a book I had on hold. I've been reading the Sookie Stackhouse series and they are sooooo kind of trashy and sexy and fun, and so addictive. HAHAHA It's just one of those things where you KNOW you're not reading great writing, but who cares? Anyway -- in my impatience for waiting for the next volume to be available I've started another book by one of my favorite authors (Orson Scott Card) called Treason and it is INSANE.
Um, yeah. I really like reading his writing but I am not sure this is one of his best, probably why I have never read it before. :D hahaha. I go to the library and scan through his section and it's like, read it, read it, read it, read it, and then ... what is THIS? But it's still definitely very interesting and I'm plowing through it, and now I have even more incentive so I can get back to Sookie and the supernatural world again! :D
I think I may have mentioned this idea before, but I REALLY LOVE this dish I've eaten a few times now that I randomly "invented" a couple weeks ago.
Brown Rice + Cooked cubed/cutup chicken + Broccoli Slaw + Makoto Ginger Dressing =
I think when I made it for DH last time I might've used a veggie blend instead of broccoli slaw but what I do is pack the cooked brown rice and chicken and broccoli slaw and at work I add the ginger dressing, mix it all up, cover w/ a paper towel and microwave a couple minutes. It is so freaking good I am not joking. I'm actually excited for lunch later because I get to eat that again. But after today I'll be out of the ginger dressing again! Sad. So the rest of the week's lunches will be slightly less exciting and that is ok.
Tomorrow the plan is to do the Sparky Marathoners Virtual 10K (put on by the Sparky Marathoner's team). Everyone is to report their fastest 10K time from the week of 2/22-2/28 and tomorrow will be the best day for me to try to do it so off I will go tomorrow!!! I started pushing it at one point on my run today and then I remembered I was going to try to race tomorrow so I backed it on down again and tried to send myself chill vibes.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Although I knew that one person I was up against did not only have experience from my department (thereby having the one advantage I have of being an internal hire and knowledgeable about company processes) but also was actually taking courses in MIS or something and therefore has more academic computer knowledge than I do and possibly a better fit.
So - the bright side?
I don't have to become a morning person! I don't have to work on Sundays, EVER! I don't have to do the at-home once or twice a month Sunday morning checks from 3-7am! I don't have to feel conflicted about taking a new position and then leaving really soon (which may or may not happen, but theoretically DH will be done with school this semester and if that's the case, I'd be in the new position like...4 months?)! Obviously I didn't mention the possibility that was over SOON but they know that he's in school working toward his PhD, and that I'd likely return to school when he's done. Oh well.
It was worth a shot. There is comfort in knowing things can stay the same to a certain extent. Also it would have been more of a challenge with the transportation I think -- since we have one car. DH would have had to take me to work EARLY in the AM so that he could have the car for meetings, and if he had a meeting that lasted longer then my shift would have been (which apparently happens on a regular basis) I'd be stranded at work again.
Not to mention that it was likely not a difference in pay, a possibility of it being less, not that I would have taken it if I thought it'd be consistently less, but my current position earns a commission, but does not really have any overtime, whereas the new one would have overtime on a regular basis, but no commission. So..... if my base pay stayed the same I might break even, might be less -- but it's kind of hard to say. Either way it would NOT have been a significant INCREASE.
I was mainly interested in shaking things up and learning something new. It would have been a good experience but it's not heartbreaking -- the main thing is being disappointed about not leaving a position that I'm dissatisfied with. BUT! I know that a lot of that is in my own hands -- my own attitude towards my job and the vigor and vim with which I take it on will make a big difference in how I feel about it as well. It's so strange how that goes -- but attitude and perspective make such a HUGE difference.
I have learned that this is applicable in all aspects of life.
If I get a poor attitude about my job - even if it might be founded in something very legitimately upsetting - it makes it difficult to rectify those things I'm upset about and to move forward in a positive manner. If I remain negative and keep to myself, with all my negative emotions and thoughts and bitterness swirling within me, and just keep doing the minimum because I'm resentful, and count down the hours till I go home -- everything SUCKS.
When I get a positive and go-get 'em attitude -- when I turn my negative experiences into positive ideas of how things can be better, and reach out to my colleagues, and pro-actively take steps to make things happen, I get a sense of accomplishment, my colleagues become more friendly and positive, and the only thing I risk is the sense of being undervalued.
That is the one thing that I struggle with really -- this feeling of not wanting to do TOO MUCH because I'm not being adequately rewarded for it. Considering my options are limited, I may not have a lot to GAIN from doing my best (in a worldly monetary and praise type way), but I can still be proud of what I do and portray myself in my best light.
I have often let my bitterness about not being promoted already lead me to not performing to my potential. Why shouldn't I be the best I can be at what I do?
It's frustrating to feel that I don't have the opportunities to really benefit in a tangible way from stepping outside the box, but it's what I have. So I need to make the best of it.
I am very grateful to HAVE a job and I want to make sure that I keep it and appreciate it! I know not everyone is as lucky as I am in that respect and there are a lot of positives here that I DO appreciate vs other jobs I have had in the past - *AHEM* Radio Shack *AHEM*!
In other news --
Rowing this morning was GREAT! :D It was a bit slow at first, and every time we STOPPED rowing I got cold, but when we were moving I was feeling good. I feel like I'm maybe getting the hang of being the STROKE seat. I hope that my music background will help me keep a consistent rhythm and whatnot -- the worst thing is being behind someone who is inconsistent and having to always adjust and second guess the timing. It was a LITTLE hard to tell at times how things were going because the starboard rower behind me today is one of our BRAND NEWBIES and so she was doing a lot of relearning -- but at times things were really good along the boat.
It's kind of hilarious -- our cox is a tall dude. Usually coxswains are tiny women. Well -- he's slim, and a man, so his narrow hips fit in the seat, but he has to fold up quite a bit. I hit him in the leg with my oar! A few times... ok the first time felt like kind of a hit, the others like I brushed probably mostly clothing - he said I didn't wound him or anything. HAHAHA. But I wanted to ask to make sure that although it didn't feel like I hit hard for me, I wasn't just like -- oh WHATEVER WILL'S FINE and I was bludgeoning him. (Not that he's a wimp, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a jerk!) The good thing is that means I'm getting a really good stretch, making for a longer stroke -- but then again, I'm 6'2" so that's kind of expected of me. If wasn't reaching far then something would be wrong!
After rowing I headed to the gym for NROL4W. Today was the LAST TIME I'm doing the normal Stage 1 Workout A! :D YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha.
Next week I'm doing a version of the Stage 1 Workouts A&B that does not require multiple sets of anything, just one set - using the same weight/setup as the FIRST week, but as many reps as possible. It's used as a demonstration to show how much stronger you've gotten.
I remember my first workout I squatted without any additional weight, I was doing wall pushups, and my step ups were on kind of a low step. Those are the main things I know will be significantly different, and I'm excited to BLOW THROUGH THOSE. I wonder how many wall pushups I can do now? :D hahaha. Today I was working on the second rung of the bench press thingie for my pushups -- so I'm still working my way down to full. I might need to push myself faster, but honestly, I want to be able to do them VERY STRONG when I get down to the full military pushup and not just be squeaking out reps with bad form. Ya know? So I'm taking it slow on that particular exercise. Upped my Squat's weights today and it felt good. Did better on my prone jacks -- completed two sets of 15 in a row without re-setting.
So I went home, had my protein smoothie, got things cooking for lunches, ate some PB & Pretzel sticks... and then I went CHOCOLATE CRAZY.
I have learned something I need to NOT buy again -- or possibly after a long absence reconsider w/ putting them in the freezer -- Dove PB Filled Chocolates. I went psycho on those beasts. I didn't eat the whole bag today -- because I had some on Sunday (didn't count, not sure how many), and I left TWO for DH today (with other lunch things so I'm sticking to my lunch prep plan for him, too). But yeah -- I had a lot of them.
I've discovered that the Dove FILLED chocolates just eat too quickly and are too rich for me to have as much self control with them as I do with the regular individually wrapped dark chocolates. THOSE I'm good with. They're a nice treat and easy to limit. But for some reason those PB ones DID ME IN.
I'm going to aim for very good behavior ALL WEEK, I hope to even avoid a splurge meal this weekend, although this will require careful planning on Saturday especially. (I added an estimate in the tracker and maybe I'll just aim to over burn calories this week?)
LONG BLOG. Who made it through?
P.S. -- Yes even more. Just wanted to add that I got direct feedback from the interviewer that I got just edged out with experience and that I did quote "nothing wrong", and that was the deciding factor, and encouragement to apply again if another position in the dept becomes available. So that was nice.
Monday, February 22, 2010
So I'm gonna try streamlining my SparkPeople involvement, last week I had a little scare that I couldn't get to my email from work anymore! OH NO! Well it's back today, but really, should I be that dependent? I was going nuts on Friday. HAHA.
Well, I could get to SP but still if I get this job I'm angling for my time will likely be limited to home only usage of the internet for personal stuff (which is probably how it really should be), and while I have it I will take advantage, just being honest, but I'm still going to try to shift a little.
This morning I deleted allll of my notification emails, so I'm going to slowly be getting unsubscribed from stuff. When I have time I will manually go and check on people from their pages and go to teams and look at threads, but I don't think it's necessary for me to be up to the minute on everything! :D I need to settle it down basically.
Anyway -- just wanted to give everyone another heads up, I know I talked about this last week but still.
This weekend was FUN! Food was... strange. It's not that I feel I really overate in total calories, but my meals were kinda more like I was before Sparks. LUMPED ALTOGETHER AT ONE POINT OF THE DAY. So I did indeed feel a bit overstuffed. Not TOO TOO bad -- not as bad as I have done it at times, but still -- not comfortable. :P I need to eat regularly! That is my new M.O. and I need to accept and plan for that because otherwise things get totally wonky.
I made DH his lasagna yesterday. :D I'm also going to try to get back in the habit of prepping healthy lunch stuff for him to eat with whatever crappy main entree item he'll eat for lunch... cause that's got to help a little bit.
So this weekend -- Saturday morning was yoga, zumba, and then a short run. Dude - yoga totally killed me! I didn't realize it at the time but my shoulders and arms are SO SORE. I think it might not have been a great idea to do that the next day after NROL4W -- but all the downward dog to plank and then ..." crocodile"? Slow tricep pushups (not that I did those great, I semi collapsed at some point but part of the workout was there) over and over are I think what did it. I definitely think I want to start doing yoga regularly but I may need to rethink my schedule -- either that or just get used to it?
Zumba kind of sucked -- I think I might just not like the instructor, but she also after the first song or two swapped everyone front to back and left us in the back. That class is packed and I make sure to get there early to find a good spot so I was ticked off the whole rest of the class, later on I just moved up on my own cause I was like screw this crap I'm gonna stand where I want to stand and it was ok but yeah... lame. Apparently there were some latecomers in the back who were making fun and being distracting to other class members, but honestly -- they were too late to have been let in the class in the first place, and because they were obnoxious the people who got their early to get a good spot get punished??? :P She should have at least rotated back or something. Honestly I think they should limit the class size even more....
Then a quick SHORT run -- 1.75 miles, 11:30ish pace, it was soooooo gorgeous outside and I was so sore already but I wanted to run so bad. It was a great run but I need to get running more this week so I don't just fall back to short mileage too much. I'm eyeballing the Oak Barrel Half Marathon - trying to do it with CLOVERR1 on 4/3, but not sure yet if we'll be able to do that, still kinda waiting on the budgetman's approval. ;)
SO! After that - home, quick shower, and it's BASEBALL GAME TIME! :D We went to a UA Baseball game w/ a friend who has season tickets and it was soooooooo fun. The weather was so perfect on Saturday it just felt great to still be outside. :D
But... I didn't eat after my workout, and didn't eat much before, and all those hours without food resulted in a massive meal postgame and that was pretty much all I ate Saturday. :( wah!
Sunday -- church, visit at home, then eating some food before ROWING and Officers' Meeting, then LASAGNA MADNESS! :D hahaha.
Rowing was sooooooo great. The weather was perfect, and it was all experienced rowers. We did some drills with inside arm only (The one closest to your oar blade so on whatever side you row toward). We've done lots of drills in the past with OUTSIDE arm only, but not much with inside only. OH MAN -- apparently I don't usually pull in a very balanced manner. Those first 15 strokes/rotations with inside arm only felt totally insane. BUT, I really got the hang of it pretty soon I think, and it felt great. I feel like I really learned some technique to improve my rowing on Sunday and that is AWESOME. :) The hard thing is remembering to implement the technique when you get tired/add more power.
Officers' meeting was tough, but not as tough as last week and I think we're getting somewhere with things anyway.
My DH is the greatest support for me and I've been feeling like he REALLY needs my support lately so I'm definitely going to try my best to be the sweetest most supportive helpful wife in the world these days and try to be there as much as possible. DH came with rowing on Sunday, but I was gone allllll morning Sat and Sun. This is pretty typical, but then again, he sleeps most of the time I'm gone so I guess it's ok. But still -- I dunno, I'm just thinking I am going to try to give of myself more to him than to anyone else. Life gets so full of STUFF and things that are important start slipping down the priority ladder. I haven't really let the workouts slip down, but maybe I've let him slip a little and that's just not right. I don't think it's really been anything BIG or BAD just something I want to pay attention to BEFORE it get's messed up, ya know? Family is the most important thing and HE is my family.
Get An Email Alert Each Time ZIRCADIA Posts