Saturday, August 29, 2009
so..... really good day followed by really crappy day.
I'm really feeling discouraged today.
The lbs I put on while travelling during August have NOT just fallen back off...
It's still August. I know I'm being REALLY hard on myself, but I just can't seem to stop it.
Yesterday was kind of an all day cheat day... I ate healthy food during the day, but too much of it overall, and then we went out to eat and I ate my food AND some of someone else's... ugh.
This morning I feel so bloated and huge. I know that I'm still a healthy weight. I know that I need food to fuel my workouts, but yesterday was ridiculous.
I'm not going to track it all because I don't want to discourage myself even more but I will try to remember everything I ate and share it with you...
Clif Kids Organic Fruit Twists... 3?
1oz raw almonds
2oz beef jerky
2 bowls of cereal w/ unsweetened soymilk
1 salad w/ grilled chicken (like a ton of hearts of romaine w/ 1.33 ish servings of grilled chicken? and one serving of a balsamic garlic vinaigrette)
stonyfield probiotic yogurt (I think just one but maybe two... ??!?!?! see how bad this is?)
PB and pretzel sticks
another serving of pretzel sticks
hard boiled egg
I think that's it for what I ate while at home.......we went to a Greek Place and I got the PLATE instead of just a sandwich -- ate falafel, rice, salad, hummus, pitas, two orange slices, and the leftovers of someone elses gyro meat, tzatziki and pita bread. Some tortilla chips and salsa at my friend's house, too.
CONFESSION DONE. See???? I might have been a good example earlier in the week but now you can see what happens to Dana when she completely derails. I couldn't help but estimate for the at home eating just now... about 1945 or a little more. So if I had STOPPED THERE I would have been ok, but then add the rest of it and I'm sure I'm over 1000cal over.
I KNOW that one day does not a failure make, I KNOW I can get back on this. I think I might have to not allow any cheat meals next week. Or maybe a couple of weeks. Just to get back on track? ORRRRRRRRRR just ensure that I REALLY only have one cheat meal and that everything else gets tracked BEFORE it goes into my mouth? I think maybe the second one is better... not too restrictive so I end up flaking out I think.
There were definitely good things I did yesterday -- I went rowing and burned 600 calories there, then when I went to my friend's house I went to the pool and actually swam a bit there. Nothing super major but I got my face in the water and swam across the pool every now and again. It felt good to know I can do that!!! Maybe not for long, and I don't open my eyes w/out goggles so I had no idea where I was going except to aim and reach out when I thought I was close to a wall... but still. I was a little proud of myself.
But then this morning I put on my "size too big" jeans cause I wanted to be comfy today and they fit. UGGGHHHHHHHHH I'm hoping some of this is bloating from the tragic day yesterday and lack of sleep. Also I DO think they are freshly laundered... but still. No more excuses.
I REALLY think the lack of sleep is getting me. I should have napped yesterday instead of eating. I need to honor my body by giving it the rest that it needs. I just want to DO EVERYTHING. I need to realize my limitations.
Goals for today and onward - eat at set intervals of time. DO NOT CONTINUALLY GRAZE WHILE AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (THIS is the BIGGIE.) My schedule varies so eating at specific times of the day will not work for me, but if I eat 3 meals and 3 snacks during the day, I KNOW I will be able to eat enough food. I know I can eat at 2-3 hour intervals. I know I don't need the amount of calories I have been eating -- I need fuel but I have been putting away STORAGE and I don't need to STORE EXTRA FUEL -- it doesn't work like that!
I need a specific strength training plan as well. It has NOT been happening and no more excuses. I know that not working on my muscle has led to me being wider and I do not appreciate it.
I'm having a hard time figuring out when it's ok/realistic to strength train based on my busy schedule. I want to get it 3 times a week, I don't think a split rotation will really work with my schedule right now, but I also want to make sure I'm not giving myself too much to do in a day, that I'm getting a full day of rest before my long run day (which I did not do this week due to rowing unless I run on Sunday... we'll see...)... stuff like that.
Right now it's Mon - OFF, Tue - Row and Run, Wed - Run, Thu - Run, Fri - OFF, Sat- Long Run, Sunday - Row?
So I can see that ST on Thurstay and Sunday will work, but I don't want to do ST on Tuesday because I row AND run and that's just too much going on. Mon is back to back to Sunday... Wed is back to back to Thursday and so on and so forth. Maybe I can do a split rotation on Mon-Thu and then a full body session on Sunday???
OOH. I like that idea. ok. So Tue - Core. Wed - Lower Body. Thur- Upper Body. Sun - FULL BODY.
No more wussing out on lower body ST because I'm afraid of aggravating my IT Band. There are THINGS I CAN DO. And just DO IT already. Avoiding squats is good IF IT'S AGGRAVATED -- but not doing squats will not prevent it from getting aggravated. THERE.
Corporate Lawyer Trainer has debunked my secret fear that has been allowing me to avoid Lower Body ST. NO MORE.
Are there any more excuses or secret fears that I need to confront?
I think my anxiety about today's long run helped me keep returning to the kitchen yesterday as well... YOU CAN DO THIS, DANA!!!!!!!!
I've been thinking about this all morning - what advice would I give to someone else?
OH! AND ANOTHER THING. NO MORE GROCERY SHOPPING ON TUESDAY MORNINGS. It might seem like I have plenty of time because I'm already up so early from rowing, but after rowing and running and then shopping and coming home and prepping proteins for the week... I run out of time to nap and I NEED it on a rowing in the morning day. SO!
Another goal to help myself succeed and to feel more in control is to go back to doing Grocery Shopping on the weekend. I won't make myself say Saturday or Sunday as a specific, either day will be fine I think. And prepping proteins or batch cooking a meal if necessary on Sunday for the week. I have time on those days and especially for the prepwork, I'm usually hanging out at home and can easily have that going on while I do other things.
Now a personal pep talk to myself:
Eating healthy makes you feel good.
Strength training makes you feel STRONG.
Working your core will help with running stamina AND rowing form.
Giving yourself sleep is not taking away from what you can do during the day -- you will be more productive, have more energy, and just FEEL BETTER during the waking hours if you spend enough on the sleeping hours.
If you feel munchy at home, remind yourself that you can eat something again in 2-3 hours -- then drink some water and or chew some gum.
I feel like I've been a wreck lately and I thought I had myself BACK until yesterday and it just scared me. I DO NOT want to let these extra lbs stay on. I WILL NOT let them. I need them gone. I need to make sure I do not regain the weight I lost. I have been feeling very uncomfortable in my skin again lately and it reminds me of how I felt before I started to lose any weight. I know that physically I'm not there again but mentally and emotionally I HAVE BEEN IN THAT PLACE lately and it SUCKS. No more!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
So today I was running and at the beginning of my second out and back for this particular part of my route I saw this doggie kinda looking at me and shyly following a bit. I didn't stop and looked back and couldn't see her anymore.
I said if she's still there on my way back I'll stop (I'd almost be at the end of my run anyway) and I prayed that if the dog needed my help, to help me see her on my way back.
Well I get back there and there she is! SOOOOooooOOoo shy. I had to kind of play a slow patient game to get her to come close enough for me to pet her. And then I had no leash or treats or anything! But it was so adorable once I pet her she seemed to be like, OK! We're friends now! Let's play!
She looks like a beagle mix, too, so my heart was right out to her immediately!
Anyway -- I get her to follow me home and get some treats and talk to DH about it right outside our door and he is obviously torn between wanting to take her in and take her to the shelter. (The heart says - oh she's so pretty and sweet and cute and the head says we have no time or money to take care of a doggie!)
I really do think she may be someone's lost dog (or possibly recently abandoned). She seemed slightly underweight, but not too bad off, and she had a fur indent where a collar used to be. So I HOPE that by taking her to the shelter her owners can find her if she is lost.
So anyway as you can probably tell by that last sentence, we decided to be smart about it and take her to the shelter. I drove her over quickly while DH was getting ready for us to leave for school/work -- I left our place to go to the shelter a little over 30min before we'd have to leave again!!!!!!!
Luckily it's not TOO far away. Dropped her off, rushed back home, 5 min shower, throw a ton of food in a bag, and get going! I hadn't eaten anything yet today! EEK! Starving! So I ate as soon as I got to work (don't clock in for an hour still even now, yay for being dropped off at work super early...).
ANYWAY. I intended to do some ST today, did a few pushups in this office hahaha will do some more and maybe some ab work before clocking in instead of the trombone/Japanese practice today. PHWEW.
Slept as long as possible last night, BTW. Started nodding off around 11:30-11:45 last night and got up at like... 8:15. Still feel kinda tired though -- I know you can't instantly recover from little sleep in one night, though.
Food has been on track so far this week, so WOOT for that.
Tonight we're going to a concert after I get off of work -- The Enemy Lovers! :D I'm excited for that. Glad I brought so much food (just threw a bunch of components in a bag instead of a prepared lunch) so I have extras to eat something before I leave work cause we're going straight to the concert.
Tomorrow: 4 mile run (Today was supposed to be 3, it's about a 3.25 route... but I did use the end of it to attract the doggie along with me. hahaha)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
I am beat.
I slept very poorly last night... got to bed a little after midnight, woke up at 2ish by the hubby coming to bed, woke again before 4, woke again like every 15 min until 5AM. ROWING TIME!
So I rowed. We ended up waiting 20min for one of our rowers who overslept. But I think we made up for it on the row! We went out working on some drills and whatnot but on the way back we traded 6's and 8's, and then all 8's the rest of the way back! *PHWEW* My owie was bandaged so I don't think it got any worse, it just hurt a bit when there was pressure on it. It's ugly and pink, but I re-ointmented and bandaged this morning both before and after rowing. I'm hoping the rowing break between now and the next time I row (hopefully Friday afternoon!) will help.
Then I ran a little over 4 miles. It was kind of a hard run today mentally and physically. Not so much in the sense that I was running hard -- I was trying hard to take it easy... but I just felt weary... and now that I look back it was likely due to lack of sleep! YEESH! (I ate some pretzel sticks on the way to rowing and sharkies in between rowing and running.)
Between the two activities I burned a little over 1000 cal today... and I didn't start my HRM for a while into the rowing (which is all good cause we were doing drills and whatnot to begin with for a while anyway I guess...).
THEN I went grocery shopping. Took way too long in the store, but I definitely got everything I needed and wanted. We are SET for the week (and in some items for more than a week, ya know...) Since I'm not in love with the Sharkies for on the run fueling (stick in my teeth like mad! They're a little TOO soft), I saw some Clif Kids Fruit Twist thingie... and thought why not! It looks like it'll be a shi-shi pull and peel twizzler. Only ya know, made with FRUIT and whatnot. I'll try em out on my run this weekend -- DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN EIGHT MILES.
Last weekend was less stressful because I've run that far before, but here on out my long runs will mark NEW TERRITORY in length of runs. :) Exciting! It also means I need to look up some routes...
Anyway back to shopping... so then I got home and cooked up some chicken breasts and hard boiled some eggs... and I NEEDED FUEL. After everything was put up I got some PB and pretzel sticks and ate that while watching TV and running back into the kitchen to check on my food stuffs.
I was so beat.
DH and I watched the rest of the show I was watching (CSI: NY) and then an episode of "Save My Bath" (A bathroom remodeling show on HGTV), and then I finally showered. HAHAHA. Got ready, made my lunch, ate some cereal, and well here I am at work.
Ugh. I was hoping I would be able to get a nap in this morning but... I grocery shopped too long and then sat w/ hubby in front of the TV instead.
Tonight I will SLEEP. Oh and then run tomorrow AM.
P.S. - OHHHHHH I just realized why today my protein is so high and carbs so low on remaining -- I adjusted my calorie burn yesterday and it readjusted my intake back to Spark Ratios. I think I'm gonna keep aiming for high protein but leave the ranges as they are in Sparks. I expect my body will be wanting more and more carbs as I run longer and longer and that was my plan before anyway so here I go!
Monday, August 24, 2009
No fruit except some old applesauce.
Some frozen veggies.
Out of milk... out of cottage cheese....out of tuna and salmon (my go to afternoon snack for protein!)...
Ok really out of everything except for like... rice... some canned goods....and meat that's in the freezer. So we have some good staples for dinners.
I just finished making a grocery list and I'm not needing to pick up much of anything for dinners, it's lunch and breakfast and snacks that need some help. :)
Today was an OFF day for running and rowing, which is good, cause I slept in almost as long as possible before getting ready to go.
I spent my early time at work getting through Spark Blog Notifications, Practicing Trombone, and studying Japanese. Felt GOOD to be doing the trombone and Japanese practice! :) It's been so long with the Japanese, I realllly got refreshed today!
OH and by the way -- I have a practice mute for my trombone -- the Yamaha Silent Brass system. The mute muffles all sound coming out of the bell, so you can kinda hear it in the same room, but not through a closed door. The mute has a pickup in it that attaches to a little box which has a headphone jack so you can actually hear yourself play and it sounds ALMOST kinda normal. ;) hahaha. I think the battery in my system is dying... but even without the listening option it still mutes the sound. So I am able to practice pretty much anywhere I want without disturbing people. (Hotel rooms, apartment, etc.)
Also rowing was awesome yesterday but there is a little spot on my hand that did not blister, just decided to GIVE UP the skin... I dunno what's up but it's like a little hole. :P So that's all antibiotic ointmented and bandaided. Hopefully it will be fine for tomorrow morning's row.
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