Monday, May 25, 2009
So after the family left I had a kind of unrelated huge emotional meltdown and ate a megaton of food.
An entire bag of "FoodShouldTasteGood" The Works chips and most of a container of Smores "Light" ice cream (like the fact that the chips were healthy or the ice cream light matters when you eat it in that kind of quantity), among other more normal things.
I feel totally sick to my stomach and the worst part is that I was intentionally doing it to myself to damage myself because of how bad I was feeling.
VERY disordered eating. Just wanted to get this out there AND BEHIND ME.
The only good thing was my Rowing Club meeting went well.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
.... so YAY FAMILY'S HERE! :D
I intended to eat something when I got home, but then I called them and they were going to be here in like an hour and I asked if they'd be ready to eat dinner then, and the answer was yes, so I waited. This resulted in a difference of at least 4 hrs between meals which I'm trying to work on eating every 2-3 hours.
But we went out to eat to the greek place and I made a pretty wise meal choice I think -- lamb souvlaki w/ a greek salad. :) I did have a couple small pieces of their garlic bread, but my meal was essentially grilled meat and veggies w/ olive oil! WOOT! So ok, that wasn't too much, but it was filling and delicious. :)
Then it was a marathon Rock Band Session until my mom and dad were super tired pretty much it was almost 11PM their time, so they went back to their hotel. (I guess all the better for them to sleep in today while I'm at work! HAHA)
But then we got hungry again -- it was about the time I usually eat dinner and it had been a good 5 hours since eating last???
Then the poor eating choices happened -- a frozen chimichanga, an ice cream cone, and 2 dove dark chocolates. Calorically -- it was not too bad. According to my estimates for eating out plus this -- I came in at my MIN on calories. But the content??? HAHAHAH. I was over on fat and under on carbs and protein. :P doh.
THEN MORE GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
So I was looking at the weather and it's supposed to rain pretty much all weekend -- I was like OH NO when am I going to run!!! And it doesn't bode well for a family outing to the park. So anyway, I thought, maybe I can run before work today. I looked at the weather -- supposed to be raining.
Well -- at first I just thought. Can't do it! And decided to just wake up at my normal Saturday work time...but then I decided I could at least get up and see if it was raining.
WELL IT WASN'T! :D And I got in a GREAT run! The weather was pleasantly cool with no bright sun due to the hour (I ran about 15min after sunrise). I saw a couple of runners out, one with her two adorable dogs. :) It was just very nice. And I got in the mileage I was hoping for PLUS a bit. So I am feeling VERY happy with that today.
I'm just going to accept that my food schedule is going to be weird this weekend due to planning food outings w/ my family and if I try to eat more in between it's just going to make things suck for them and me eat too much overall I think. I'll just get back on track with food come Monday.
SO! SOMETHING I MEANT TO BLOG ABOUT THE OTHER DAY:
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE IS BACK!!!!!!!! I love music, I LOVE dancing... I love this show. But you know what else I love about it??? The amazing bodies the dancers have. So muscular and powerful and beautiful! :D Ok so at this point it's still the auditions, and some of the bodies are not the pinnacle of form and function and admiration I'm talking about -- but those really amazing dancers??? They just blow me away not JUST with their dancing. If I could have a body like a dancer I would be totally thrilled. :)
So many different types of beautiful healthy strong bodies -- like I was blogging about the other day with the athletes!! And you know what, a gymnast's body is amazing and beautiful in it's own way as well. LOVE sprinter's bodies. Have to say, the Long Distance Runner's bodies freak me out. The Pole Vaulters usually look pretty awesome. Love those swimmers! hahaha :D There's the long and lean, the thick and muscular, the in between softly defined muscles, the woman on the street with the killer curves, the ballroom dancers with the killer calve muscles from dancing in those heels, the PEOPLE I SAW TODAY RUNNING and enjoying the fit healthy movement of their bodies!!! There was an older gentleman and then the woman with her dogs. SO CUTE! :)
I truly believe that a healthy body is a beautiful body -- no matter the size or shape. Someone who is healthy and fit has a glow from within. And health and fitness DOES NOT LOOK THE SAME in everyone!!! It may not even look the same for the same person at different times in their life.
Those of you who aren't at your goal yet, but are striving for health -- you have that glow in you, too. :) The healthy lifestyle habits give you that beauty -- from the good foods you use to feed yourself, to the paces you put yourself through when working out.
And now I'm kinda rambling.
Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend!!!!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
So I talked to my hubby last night about my test and my goals -- he was kind of flabbergasted when I told him what it said -- he also is wondering where all the 51.5lbs of fat are. BUT ANYWAY. He is supportive of my goals even though he thinks I am beautiful and healthy and whatever where I am now -- and I agree. It's just something different to work towards.
WOOHOO. So anyway -- after some research and looking around at various suggestions I've settled on trying a diet of 45% carbs, 25% fat, 30% protein...
The protein ratio I'm confident in, the others -- we'll see.
So today I've edited my SparkPage (including editing my signature), entered my current weight and changed the goal on my ticker, and edited my nutrition information.
In case anyone is wondering how I figured the nutrition information -- I set my loss goals and allowed Sparks to suggest the calorie range. Then I edited carb, fat, and protein grams by doing this:
I multiplied the minimum calorie goal by 0.45 to determine how many calories would come from carbs on a day eating that many total calories. Then, since there are 4 calories in a gram of carbs, I divided that number by 4 to see how many grams that would be. Then I did the same for each other (only using 9 cal per fat gram) and for the max calorie limit.
This comes up with a much narrower range of grams than the Sparks Ranges provide -- not sure how they decide theirs even though I know what ratios they're going for... obviously they didn't follow the same procedure I used in determining the carb min/max. ANYWAY...
THERE IT IS. My master plan!!! I'm going to continue doing a muscle group split in ST for now -- may shift to full body later, we'll see. And run and row. And adjust my weekly cals burned when needed for when my activities change.
I have no idea how the Learn to Row camp will factor in, and then again how it will change when it goes to the regular rowing sessions so I know I will need to make some adjustments.
For today -- I kind of just packed what I felt like for lunch, but ate before and after workout with my goals in mind. Then I have tons of watermelon to eat so there's that. And I see that my yogurt has so many carbs -- I need to find a different kind with less sugar or just find a different food to eat PERIOD.
I ate a salmon snack today! :D I've apparently started to enjoy the taste of salmon on it's own -- I used a little Chicken of the Sea pack. 70 cal and like... 13g of protein I think?
But I must plan for very low carbs in dinner tonight after the rest of today -- which low carb at night is probably a good idea anyway from what I hear.
I also just think I planned my lunch being used to the cal range I had before I adjusted to loss mode again, so I think in the future it will become a little easier to adjust to my new goals. :)
SO! Today I ran/walked for 3.23miles -- not a TON of walking, but more than I usually ever do. Just to get in a good warm up and cooldown AND to keep my heart rate low low low. It took... forever. 50min -- a 15:30 ish minute mile. But I think it was a good training session. Then I did Coach Nicole's 12 min Pilates Video which was GREAT. I was REALLLLLLLY feeling it. :)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
... Dana you are a skinny fat. Or a fat fit? Who knows.
Fat %: 30.4% ----WHAAAAAAAAT?
Lean %: 69.6%
Est. RMR: 1473cal
Fat weight: 51.5lbs ---- AGAIN WITH THE WHAAAAAAAT?
Lean weight: 117.8 ---- That is like NOTHING!
Goes on to give me Cals for Sedentary (1826), Low Active (2238), Active (2562), Very Active (3048).
Anyway. At the time I was just ticked. My stupid old scale that broke had me thinking I was at 22% body fat! So this was a shocker!!! Apparently the Bod Pod is accurate to 1-2% variance though... so I can't be in denial.
My initial reaction after being ticked and going to the locker room to get ready to run and eat my pear and drink some water (no eating or drinking for 2-3hrs before the test so I hadn't eaten anything yet today) was to get all trembly lipped and close to tears a couple of times. NO TEARS WERE SHED. But yeah, I have to be honest, I was there.
My mind was reeling -- how could I be as strong and capable as I am and still be carrying around such a disproportionate amount of fat??? What about all the hard work I've done??? UGH UGH UGH. And then I started to consider the advice the trainer doing the test said at the end when looking at my numbers (WITHOUT me telling him my goal of 23% by the way) - he advised that he guessed my ideal weight to be maybe 160 and I could stand to gain at least 5lbs of lean mass... well so I did some tinkering and losing roughly 15lbs of fat and gaining 5lbs of lean mass to be at 160 puts me at 23% body fat. :P
So I thought about losing weight -- and all the negative emotions flooded me. Does this mean me maintaining between 165-170 was all for nothing? Am I admitting defeat or that I'm not good enough where I am by trying for more??? I think that last one was the most hurtful. Considering a new goal felt like betrayal of how happy and confident I've been in my body as it is now.
BUT -- here's the thing. If I'm as happy as I am right now with 30% body fat, how hot and fit and sexy would I be if I improved that number??? Regardless of the end number on the scale. 10lbs on my tall frame is not that big of a difference, and honestly it's only 5lbs from the bottom of my current maintenance range.
I started thinking about how I had really accepted my body as is because I do feel happy, but also because I assumed that the look was mainly a result of loose skin and not so much because of fat. WELL! Apparently skin is not included in the "fat mass" measurement, but is included in the "fat free mass" measurement. I really only found this on one definition of fat free mass, but the definition of fat mass does not seem to include skin... so I'm gonna go with IT DOESN'T. (If someone knows I'm wrong, please correct me...) Let's even say for the sake of argument that skin is included in the fat measurement... skin is supposedly about 12% of your total body weight, which for me is like 20lbs ish... I could STILL stand to lose some body fat.
ANYWAY. Point being I came to the conclusion that I reminded myself --
THIS IS A LIFELONG HEALTHY JOURNEY. Just because I reached a particular destination and decided to stay there for a while doesn't mean I can't set farther goals. If I see a way I can improve my health and fitness, why not go for it??? I am very happy with how fit and healthy I am now. I acknowledge I am in a healthy weight range for my height, I feel good, I look good, I can do much! :)
From "ABOUT" article on body fat ranges:
"For women, a body fat of 10-12% is essential, 14-20% is considered a healthy range for athletes, 21-24% is healthy for fitness, 25-31% is considered an 'acceptable' range and anything above 32% is considered obese."
I'd like to be a little farther away from the obese side, and can I please not just be considered "ACCEPTABLE"? :) hahaha.
AND one of my favorite links about body fat %:
The reason I set my target goal at 23% back in the day (which I mistakenly thought I achieved, grrr), was because of the tables on this site. I looked at the athlete table and thought --which athletes have hot bodies... I looked at the percentages... swimmers, tennis players, volleyball players, all have ranges that go up to at least 24%... granted some are a lot lower. :) HAHAHA But still. I figured if I could be in the company of the athletes I think have nice physiques I'd be alright. I'm not interested in getting my body fat % as low as a body builder or a gymnast for example.
With all that in mind here is my immediate goal -- drop 10lbs of body fat while maintaining/increasing (if at all possible even slgihtly) lean mass.
I have more research to do on exactly what kind of diet and plan I want to follow to see this through, but I'm setting this as a summer goal and planning to get BOD POD measured when I renew my gym membership again. I expect to be altering my SP ranges to ensure I'm working with the ratios of fat/carb/protein I really want to achieve instead of leaving them as is, even if the ultimate numbers might be possible to achieve within the ranges listed, setting the overall range at the right percentages in relation to each other will help me see it the ratios better. (Instead of aiming to be for example on the low end of carbs and on the high end of proteins -- I can aim for mid in each...)
I definitely intend to do this sloowwlllyyy... aiming for more of a drop will increase my likelihood of losing lean mass which I DO NOT WANT.
SO! To sum up, I got measured, got hit with a total blindsiding whammy, and then went immediately (after eating and drinking some water) for a run and thought it all out while running. REALLY used that running to get out some emotions and thoughts going and formulate a plan. Then I came inside and did a full upper body workout and went as heavy as I could on the weights. RRRRAAAWRRRRR!!!!!! I AM TOUGH! I AM STRONG!!! SCREW YOU YOU 51.5lbs of fat on my body!!!! OK not all of you, some of you I definitely want to keep, but to the rest of you SO LONG.
I also started reading Marathoning for Mortals last night. More inspiration for my marathoning fire.
OH and btw -- if I don't hit my body fat % goal ASAP, it's not gonna kill me. I have something specific to aim for and a plan for followup in measurement and that makes me feel a lot better about my goals than my previously vague "improve body composition" goal. If I have to wait to really work on it until after reaching my marathon goal, that is A-OK as well.
But since I've pretty much been sold on the whole "losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time is way hard and slowgoing and near impossible while doing lots of steady state cardio" theory from all my reading... I figure I might as well go ahead to aim to lose some body fat. I just want to make sure I don't lose any muscle while I'm at it.
OK I think I started being redundant. Later!
P.S. -- I found a different body fat range that is more forgiving and includes an overweight range FYI:
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