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So darned what if I am hungry ??

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I have been sitting here and thinking about the mere act of eating for hunger. Just thinking about how all of us got ourselves here. Why, aren't we all rational,thinking human beings with above average intelligence ? I seem to think we are. Then where did we all fall off the wagon ? Where did food gain so much control over us that we seemed to have lost that power of rational thinking. Just the fact that food made us lose our power of rational thinking goes to say that it has power over us. Food has definitely had power over me. I am now trying to figure out how I can divest it of this power.
I think the reason I am here today trying to lose weight is because I have spent my whole life being petrified of hunger. This thought has never occurred to me before. Its just struck me that I am seriously,seriously afraid of hunger. Scared as if my own hunger was going to eat me up. Scared as if the whole world would come crashing down because I was hungry. I've spent my whole life stuffing my face because 'what if ' I got hungry? What if the universe collapsed if I got hungry ? Didn't I ever realize that many people had been hungry before me ? What if I really did get hungry ? It never once occurred to me once that ..Geez... then what ? Geez...then nothing !!
The penny has finally dropped.What is the worst that will happen if I get a little physically hungry ? Nothing will happen if I get a little hungry. In fact I think the only times I really do lose weight are when I am physically hungry. I think hunger is now going to be an integral part of my weight loss journey. I've heard it said one too many time..."Don't let yourself get hungry !"..I'm sorry but it just doesn't work for me. Hunger is what shrinks my stomach. Hunger is what keeps me from stuffing my face. I like the feeling of hunger. Its a nice, light feeling to feel the hunger. By the way, I haven't felt real hunger in years. Ive almost forgotten what real hunger feels like. So now I am going to kick 'hunger' in its own face and not worry about it so much. I'm going to stop letting it have any power over me anymore. I am so ready to put hunger in its place...and it'd better stay there too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJS_MOMMY_1985 1/3/2012 3:34PM

    Very wonderful words. :) I haven't eaten dinner or breakfast many times in the past few weeks. Not because I'm purposely starving myself, but because at first I was just too busy. I then realized it was all in my head and I wasn't truly hungry. I just WANTED to eat. Because once I got busy the feeling went away. Now I only eat if I know I'm genuinely hungry. And I'm trying to not overeat at those times. It truly is helping. :)

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NEWMOON 1/3/2012 10:50AM

    Great Blog!!! Stomach Hunger or what I like to call REAL Hunger is so important. It tells us when we need some fuel, and if we listen to it and NOT emotional hunger, we will be successful.

I'm grateful for it.

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    I know what you mean. It is not about the twinkie...but it not NOT about the twinkie either. emoticon

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J0ETTE 12/13/2011 4:15PM

    I know what you mean about the feeling hungry. It can be a good thing. IF it is controlled. Waiting until you are past hungry can be self defeating. Those are the times I make poor choices. But a slight hunger is a good thing. I envision my body having to find fat from some unsuspecting part of itself to get what it needs. :)

I think a BIG part of how we got this way is from the garbage foods that are so readily available in the beastly sized portions.

I too have to plan for evening snacking. Planning what you are going to have to eat each day is very helpful.

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THETURTLEBEAR 12/13/2011 12:21PM

    I thought this was a very powerful blog. My own demon to conquer has been portion size, which is what doomed me to so many years of overweight or obesity. The interesting thing that has developed out of losing this weight is a big discovery for me. I too worry about being hungry - and it pops into my head whenever I see a little (i.e. correctly sized) portion on my plate. I have discovered that if I eat the little portion, that two things happen. 1) I usually find that I'm satisfied "enough" that my hunger concerns dissipate. 2) By having limited my portion (and calories), I have more calories left for later. This second part has been the biggest discovery and surprise. When things are getting shaky in my program, it's usually when I've eaten MORE calories in a single sitting and "run out" too early in the evening (I like my evening snack). Normally my solution to wanting food is to eat something - it works better for me than deprivation. So although it was counter-intuitive at first, if I find I'm hungry and running out of food, I try to eat LESS, more often.

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Winter 5% cahllenge....a few more thoughts

Friday, December 02, 2011

I can't believe that I'm already so behind on the Winter Challenge. It hasn't even started and I already feel so behind. I haven't even finished all my pre challenge assignments.But I have something to blame that on. Not having my laptop for a few days can do some pretty strange things.. I still managed to log on, on my iPad, but hated SP on the iPad. Everything just took so long. Anyhow.... none of this goes to say that I am not ready to start the challenge. I'm completely charged up and ready to go.

I still have to talk about reasons I want to lose weight though. All the same reasons as last time. Nothing seems to have changed here and I doubt that any of those reasons will ever change. I also doubt that any of my reasons are any different from anybody else's reasons. I just want to lose weight for all the right reasons. Still, good health is still my main reason. Ofcourse, clothes and being able to fit into normal sizes is another very strong motivator. There is nothing quite as sexy as being fit though . This is true at every age, and I don't want to grow into a fat and sick old lady. Thats just not happening for me.

Trigger foods. I have to do a lot of thinking here, because I don't think I really have any trigger foods. Maybe cheese and nuts to an extent,but not really. Actually my main trigger is food itself. I eat very healthful,clean food. Well, most of the time anyway ! I just eat too much food. Unfortunately there is such a thing as 'too much of a good thing' ! I rarely crave sugar and When and If I do, its easily satisfied with a bite or two. After that sugar sickens me. I'm truly grateful for that. I love some nice dark chocolate though.
My triggers are more about eating when I'm bored rather than about what I eat. I do tend to snack mindlessly sometimes,especially when I don't have an agenda. Thats what I am going to work with this Winter. Everytime I start my silly mindlessness I plan to do 20 reps of any' pre planned for the day' exercise or go for a walk around the block. Hopefully this should serve as a reminder to shut my mouth.
So how am I going to cut my calories ? Now thats the million dollar question ! I have worked out a few basic 'go to' meals for most of the time. The hard part of course will be sticking with them,because I can be very impulsive. Gotta fight that. I also find that I need to save most of my calories for dinner because I just can't get to sleep on an empty stomach. So its going to have to be very light eating through the day. Earlier I was eating well both night and day. That just tips the balance and doesn't work.

The main reason that I have not succeeded in the past is because I have the 'tomorrow' or the 'monday morning' or the 'first of next month' mentality. I think its time to wake up and smell the coffee. Literally...because today is a 'real' day and its why am I waiting for tomorrow all the time ? What is it that I can do 'tomorrow' that I can't do today ? So I'm gonna 'just do it' right now anyway. I also loved my friend JENN245's idea of having a card for each day that reads 'Day 1',' Day 2' etc. That way you start paying attention to each day because those days are counted. If you blow it for whatever reason , you still can't wish the day away and you tend not to blow it completely. Its all too easy to say "What the hell, I'll start right again tomorrow". But see this time 'tomorrow ' is going to stand up and be counted. Its also what our very own THETURTLEBEAR always says "Just for today ". So that is going to be my plan of action from now on. Its going to be 'Just for today', and that 'today' will have no way of disappearing out of sight from the back door. That 'today' is going to be fully accountable.

I have put on a little weight since the Fall challenge ended. I'm about a pound up and I don't like it because I have been pretty much sticking to my calorie range and doing my exercise. But I do know that there are a thousand variables and being hypothyroid and menopausal doesn't help either. But I am going to stick with it anyway,because I know that it will move soon. It has to ! Plus my weight does seem to have a fear of challenges lets see how far we can push it this time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRAVERUDE 12/6/2011 7:01PM

    You can, you can, you can...and so you will!!

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    Do not worry. You can do it.
I am so far behind that I feel like I am in reverse. LOL
Just be happy with the choices you make today.

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THETURTLEBEAR 12/4/2011 10:03AM

    I can't tell you how many years I "lived in the future" (aka my whole life until the past year). You have got it figured out!

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JAZZEJR 12/3/2011 7:22AM

    If you keep the "Do it now" mentality that you have now and some "zip control" on that chocolate :), you'll be successful! emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 12/3/2011 1:21AM


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NEWMAC2011 12/3/2011 12:14AM

    We can do anything just for today, right! I'm way up since the Fall 5% as I was stuffing my feeling upset about DD with food but that's ending!! Ready to make some progress in the Winter 5%. We can do this today!

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MRS.PRINCIPAL 12/2/2011 6:13PM

    Good luck this challenge! I know you'll do great!

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CROOKEDLETTER 12/2/2011 4:46PM

    Here's to cultivating a today attitude today!

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LIMASTAR 12/2/2011 1:28PM

  Menopause makes it difficult to lose, but not impossible. It takes me longer to lose a lb now than before menopause, but I am losing. So don't give up. Have a happy Holiday Season and a Great New Year.

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REYVE01 12/2/2011 12:45PM

    It really helps putting it down in words.. I'm going to go work on mine now... Good luck and have fun.

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Winter 5% Challenge thoughts.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I lost a little under 6pounds in the Fall 5% Challenge. I should have lost 8. Despite the shortfall , I was elated. Elated to have lost at all. So now I'm all charged up and getting a little impatient for the Winter 5% Challenge to start. I'm taking these few weeks in between to mull over the Fall Challlenge and see what I could have done better. The answer is a loud,resounding "Lots !!!".

I aim to keep my calories well within the SP range for the Winter Challenge. In the Fall Challenge I was always aiming for the upper end and often ended up overshooting it. Sometimes I overshot it by plenty. So this time Im going to try and aim for the middle at about 1350 calories per day. Hopefully then overshooting it will become more and more difficult to do.
The other thing is my carb levels. I need to take eating more protein at lunch a lot more seriously. The day I eat a protein heavy lunch , I find absolutely no excuse to snack. The day I eat a carb heavy lunch , I'm hungry in two hours and am constantly looking for excuses to snack. Very low carb does not work for me because I cannot sustain it. Even though I lean towards lower carb , I do need to eat lots of vegetables and fruit.

I exercised pretty much everyday through the Fall Challenge. I enjoy exercise and it truly empowers me. I always feel in control when I exercise. Cant say the same for when I don't. Exercise is not a challenge for me, even though I believe that less, but higher intensity exercise is more for me. I can still quite comfortably sustain an hour or two spread out over the day. What has been a challenge for me though has been to log in my exercise. I have religiously logged in my exercise points on the team forums but have failed to do so on my Fitness Tracker. So sometimes after exercising like a mad man all month my Fitness Trackers tracks 250 monthly minutes. it just about cracks me up. I hate to look at my exercise minutes and find I have hardly done any exercise at all. So thats one thing thats going to change. I'm going to make logging in exercise my next new habit. Perhaps it will motivate me to take it to another level.
I resolve to keep doing my minimum 30 minutes of cardio daily. Plus atleast 3 strength training sessions a week. I will also do a 100reps of any one exercise (usually the Exercise of the day ) every day. I also like to throw in a few HIIT sessions as often as possible.
All in all, my exercise is going to stay at pretty much the same levels. Not willing to stress my body beyond that point,because I don't want it to sense danger and hold on to all the fat for dear life.

My SP friends and community have become almost sacred. I did and will continue being a part of that community. During the Fall Challenge I did not blog enough and did not think enough about my weight loss journey. I just went along with the flow. This time around, I plan to pay conscious attention to this path. I plan to pay attention to what works for me and what doesn't.I also plan to share it along the way. So I plan to blog more.

I plan to post regularly, especially my fitness minutes(I promise !! ) and update my LTGL points. I plan to join each and every one of the team challenges.

The bottom line is that I hope I have learnt what went wrong with the first challenge and what I can do better this time. Above all I plan to lose 5% of my weight , which equals 8pounds, during the Winter Challenge. Is there anyone out there who is going to dare me to do it ??? Well, I could sure use that dare !!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZEJR 11/30/2011 8:31PM

    I love the way you can stare down your shortcomings and find fixes for each one. I do think you will find inspiration to keep going by recording faithfully those fitness minutes. I know with the Fall Challenge mine really soared, and there's something about hitting the next level and getting all those WooHoos from your Spark friends that just empowers you. Good luck in the Winter Challenge--we're ret to go, aren't we!

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THISTIMEMYWAY 11/30/2011 3:01PM

    Let's do this! emoticon

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NEWMAC2011 11/30/2011 1:55PM

    Your ML double dares you! I know you can do it. You have a great plan and it is very helpful to see where we need to improve. I'm here to cheer you on along the way. Teddies are going to rock it!

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YIWEN39 11/24/2011 6:58PM

    emoticon I know you can! The winter challenge is going to be just emoticon emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 11/23/2011 11:26PM

    You've done marvelous and I look forward to the added competition in fitness minutes when you begin posting more faithfully in December! 8-)) As you might tell, I love the LTGL challenges and these are settling into my daily routine (even though without the challenge, I fall within a more normal range). I get a little wacky regularly on water, freggies, and fiber. Looking forward to seeing some more great site with you.

Comment edited on: 11/24/2011 10:05:05 AM

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RAC1027 11/23/2011 7:21PM


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THETURTLEBEAR 11/23/2011 3:40PM

    You did great stuff...with more ahead!

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HEALTHYBARB1 11/23/2011 3:38PM

    You go girl...Teddy Bears are amazing and glad to be one with you. I dare you and myself to dig down deep in our Teddy Bear fluff and give our best for the Winter challenge!!! We can go through these holidays and lose, lose, lose...what a wonderful Christmas gift to ourselves!!! Smiles Barb

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TERESA159 11/23/2011 3:02PM

    Congrats on what you did lose during the Fall 5%. It's good to look back and analyze what worked and what didn't. Sounds like you are good at that! Am wishing you success in the Winter challenge and looking forward to your blogs. Even if you don't feel like you've got much to say, it helps the rest of us to read them. I like to log my fitness minutes because that in itself feels like a reward to me, like a big check mark on my list of things to get done that day. Then there's the monthly fitness awards you get and the total fitness minutes for the year number that I love to watch going up.
Good luck!

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SVELTEWARRIOR 11/23/2011 1:37PM

    You are awesome!!! I look forward to being your teammate during the winter challenge I know you can do anything you set your mind to!!

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CROOKEDLETTER 11/23/2011 12:52PM

    Triple Teddy Bear Dare you!

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GLORYANDME 11/23/2011 12:45PM

    Great job on your weight loss in the fall challenge! Best of luck in the winter challenge. emoticon Tracking those exercise minutes will become second nature once you start doing it. emoticon

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Thoughts on the Fall Challenge

Friday, November 18, 2011

I can hardly believe that the Fall Challenge is almost over. I only have one weigh in left for tomorrow morning.Eight weeks flew by and how. I hardly had time to catch my breath. I didn't make my 5% weight loss goal. But I did manage a little weight loss. That was better than I have done in the last ten years. I lost a little under 6 pounds instead of the 8 I was meant to lose. But at the end of the day what matters is that I lost.

Did I think the Fall Challenge was worth it ? Oh yes! Inspite of all the time spent online. Inspite of measuring every morsel ever to cross my lips. I tracked pretty consistently, missing only two days. Sometimes I even said 'No' to food I didn't know how to track. The Fall Challenge was a great learning experience for me. More than anything else I learnt how to be consistent. I learnt a little discipline. Lack of discipline is what brought me here in the first place. I learnt that support is very important and I found unbridled support here. I also found unlimited encouragement.

I could have done much better though and I know that. Just that life sometimes gets in the way. Just that I need to get a little more focussed. Fortunately the Winter Challenge is on its way for just that. I have already started planning how I am going to play that challenge. I hope I do better next time around.

A big big thanks to everyone that supported and carried me along on this challenge. I couldn't have made it anywhere without you. I also know that if i hadn't found this challenge , I may have left SP long ago.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

48MYYEAR2014 11/19/2011 9:41AM

    great results hun, stick with it you will sooon reach your goal in no time

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SVELTEWARRIOR 11/18/2011 10:33PM

    You did marvelous!!!!! I look forward to getting to know you better in the Winter Challenge!!

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YIWEN39 11/18/2011 7:36PM

    emoticon Forget the scale, you achieved so much anyway :-)
And you're so motivated for the winter challenge, that's emoticon emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 11/18/2011 4:49PM

    Great work! Nothing wrong with those results. They are emoticon

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CROOKEDLETTER 11/18/2011 2:03PM

    Here's a toast to your successes during the fall challenge and a wish for even more successes during the winter challenge.

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IMIN2GENES 11/18/2011 1:17PM

    Woo hoo! Congrats on your loss! That's progress. Glad you're sticking with us! We're going to kick butt in the winter!

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CANDOK1260 11/18/2011 11:35AM


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34 days and counting...

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

I have been on SP for exactly 34 days now ...but I've come much farther than that !! Way farther ! Looking at my modest weight loss in almost 5 weeks one wouldn't think that I have come very far, but I know I have. Somewhere I feel I have almost outreached myself this time . My victories have mainly been the non scale type. Today I feel almost elated.
When I stepped on I floundered and fell all over the place. I think I pretty much outdid everyone on SP and even managed to put on a pound in my first week here. Wonder if anyone else has ever achieved that one. I almost hid my tail between my legs and ran. Somewhere I didn't think I would make it. Somewhere I kept thinking that I needed somewhere else to go. Maybe this whole system wasn't working for me. I was almost ashamed to post that weight gain but post it I did. Now I thank god I did. If I had never posted it I would never have seriously started looking for help. I would never have seriously made the effort to look for the challenge teams. I would never have taken my calorie and nutrient numbers seriously. i would never have taken my exercise seriously. I would have gone on doing what I've always done and I would have kept on getting what I've always got ! That would not have been such a pretty picture unfortunately.
So today i am grateful that I am here. I am grateful for the wonderful teams and friends I found straight away. I don't know if others have been as lucky as me in finding so many right people straight away. It took me no time at all to be surrounded by wise,experienced and encouraging friends. It took me no time to start planning and making a serious effort to go after what I want. It took me no time to feel like I have known all my new friends for a long long time. All this in only 34 days. I think that is a real serious achievement.
As for the real victories... my weight has not ever,ever,ever fallen below the 74.5kgs mark in the last 13years. I have already reached below that ,even if it is just a few hundred grams. I know it sounds like I am speaking too soon..but to me this is a real victory. Actually the real victory lies in the fact that I am for the first time being able to stay well within my calorie numbers. Tracking every bite has taught me that. Also had I never joined a real challenge I may have just waffled on all my life. Today I know that it works. Today I know that every effort I put into weighing and measuring and tracking has been worth every last bit. Today for the first time in a very very long time I know deep within myself that I am going to make it. I'm going to make it because I am in a very different place than I have ever been before and I love being here. Today I know that my 34 days here are worth more than the many years that have preceded them.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYBARB1 10/20/2011 11:44AM

    I started with Sparkpeople a year ago and felt so much like you at the beginning....amazed by all the support, good when the scale smiled at me and frustrated when it had it's fluctuations!! You have the right idea though...take one day at a time and remind yourself of the NSV's and cheer for yourself along the way. I have lost 35 pounds over the last year but it has not all been a breeze....just keep going no matter what and you will succeed!! Being a Teddy Bear makes it just a matter of can do this!!! Smiles Barb emoticon

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IMIN2GENES 10/6/2011 12:20PM

    Congrats! We love having you here too! Keep up the great work!

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NEWMAC2011 10/6/2011 3:54AM

    You can do it! Just wait until you're building up a streak by tracking your food & exercise and you'll see progress! NSVs are really important because the scale is very fickle; we can do everything right and yet not see the number we'd hoped for on the scale. I made a commitment that I would keep going, no matter what. Everyone who sticks with this will reach their goals! You're off to a great start!

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MAGGIE805 10/5/2011 9:50PM

    Congratulations on your first 34 days and to many more to come. Non-scale victories are the best. When I first started I gained 5 more pounds the first month until I began to use the tools that were provided for me by this site and Sparkfriends to keep motivated. Way to go, Teddy Bear, you're doing great! emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 10/5/2011 7:58PM

    I'm thrilled and excited to be on a team together. We're going to rock this challenge! We take all the successes . . . a quarter-pound here (for me, that's a stick of butter as a super visual), to a tight outfit that now fits perfectly. Today, our Team Leader's non-scale victory (NSV) was the tightening of the belt (and adding some new notches). Love it all! WooHoo!

Comment edited on: 10/5/2011 7:58:42 PM

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CROOKEDLETTER 10/5/2011 12:24PM

    Woot Woot!

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SVELTEWARRIOR 10/4/2011 11:08PM

    Great blog!!!!!! You really accomplished alot is 34 days!!!!! Just imagine what you'll accomplish in the future! There is no stopping you!!!

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YIWEN39 10/4/2011 8:45PM

    That is wonderful :-) I'm so happy for you - for all of us - that you (and we) have found SP :-)
I share all of your feelings, thanks for putting them down in words like that :-)
emoticon Have a great day and a great sparkly journey :-) emoticon

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    I agree! What a wonderful blog and accomplishments!

emoticon emoticon

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NINJA-NED 10/4/2011 2:13PM

    what a great feeling - to know you can do it! and you can. and, really, isn't the support here just great? congratulations on your success thus far.

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THETURTLEBEAR 10/4/2011 1:40PM

    What a GREAT blog and wonderful accomplishments!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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