What to say?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I'm pretty much a full-time caregiver at the moment. It's a joy to have this time with my parents but they are facing some tough decisions, and I'm in the uncomfortable position of getting them to face up to those decisions. There are times when I feel like I'm the only grown-up around, a feeling that will be familiar to anyone with elderly parents.

Although Mom is home from rehab now, she still needs time to recover and needs to take it easy. She sometimes tries to do too much at once, or they both plan too many activities for one day. In addition the calendar is FULL of appointments including weekly or twice-weekly visits from 3 therapists (physical, occupational, and speech) and a nurse.

I often feel that I have to almost demand time for myself, but they do honor my morning walk/run time. I especially look forward to that half hour or so every day. It's also a time to pray and reflect.

The weather here in SW FL is GLORIOUS at the moment and that makes it even better. When I see the sunsets here, I'm often reminded of the scripture from Isaiah where he describes a vision of the Lord with His train filling the temple. I imagine the train of the king being something like the beautiful colors and cloud patterns in the evening sky.

I'm also enjoying doing the cooking, under Mom's supervision :) Back home in Germany, I mostly cook for one. This is giving me a chance to try out some new recipes, including some here on Spark.

I've written a book again - - to anyone whose read this far! I WILL get around to visiting everyone's pages soon to wish you a joyous holiday season!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASCARSUNSHINE 12/21/2008 12:49PM

I've missed your posts on the SheBoard and I've been worried about you Michelle. I'm very glad to hear that you are taking A LITTLE time for you daily. I am so envious of your temps. We are at -9 today with a wind chill of -37 and Blizzard Conditions. There is a no travel/no tow ban on as well. I am all hunkered down and doing some Christmas baking and have since Friday when we had our first snow day. Just know that you are thought about and prayed about daily Michelle. My dsister and I made the decision to contact the attorney to get the paperwork going for our family farm when I was down there last weekend. They go back 5 years, so we have to get this done before dparents get tooooo terribly bad, so know that you are not alone in your journey. Report Inappropriate Comment

PIANO*LADY 12/19/2008 8:29PM

Michelle, I've been where you are, when you become the parent to your parents. It's not an easy road that you walk, but you have the Everlasting Arms to lean on. We walk with you and pray for you, Michelle. Report Inappropriate Comment

ANGELBELIEVER 12/18/2008 11:00AM

Dear Michelle, I ive in Central Fl. . Glad you are here to enjoy the beautiful weather. My parents are 83 and 89 and they live in Pa. Luckily I have 2 brothers that live there, and one is only 5 minutes away. I pray that God will continue to give you strength and wisdom to be gracious to your parents as they make there life changing decisions. Report Inappropriate Comment

REYNJANET 12/16/2008 5:54AM

Michelle I sure can understand. I'm at the point where the roles have changed too at times and I'm having to "mother" my mother. It is hard not only for us but for them. BUT Thank God He has given us this opportunity to return some of the nuturing that they have given us through the years. Continue to take time for yourself. I'm glad your Mom is able to be home again. Enjoy this time with them. God will give you the wisdom and guidance you need. Report Inappropriate Comment

JANETELIZABETH1 12/13/2008 4:35PM

Hi Michelle, Good to hear from you again and especially how things are going for you. I can imagine how difficult it is to balance your parents needs with a little time for YOU too. But I know the Lord will undertake in all things. God bless you richly, Hugs, Janet. Report Inappropriate Comment

JULIE@FOURWINDS 12/13/2008 3:25PM

Michelle, I am glad to hear your mother is doing better. I know what you mean about caring for your parents. My father lives about an hour from our place, and I usually go in town 1-2 times per week to help him run errands. It is a joy to be able to help him, but it does take time. You should check out the care group team I belong to. Check out my SP page, and you will see the team. They are a great support team, when you are taking care of people. Any questions, just let me know. Take care, and I shall talk to you again soon, Julie Report Inappropriate Comment

GINILEE4 12/12/2008 12:51AM

My good friend. Take it one day at a time and remark to yourself daily how blessed you are to have both your parents with you. I know how draining caretaking can be, so be sure you take those runs to energize yourself and to spend time reflecting. Have a wonderful Christmas at home=) and I know you'll keep the reason for the season close to you. Blessings, Gini Report Inappropriate Comment

CTEMPLE 12/10/2008 4:47PM

Dear Michelle hooray for the book! it's also ME time for you and we enjoy it! Yes it's a challenge being a full time carer and of ageing parents, it can drive you nuts. But it's something that you will also cherish, there is no better time than the time of giving, it's so good for the spirit! I'm also busy , DH is away visiting his family until Sunday and there is too much to do but getting along, 34 C doesn't help. Life is good Claudia Report Inappropriate Comment

SKISINCO 12/10/2008 2:15PM

Good to hear from you Michelle! I can relate to what you are saying. I hope your sister (not sure if you have other siblings) appreciates what you are doing as it is not an easy task. You are definitely doing the right thing though and it sounds like you are making the best of it. Enjoy the cooking and I enjoyed your description of the sunsets there in FL. =) Report Inappropriate Comment

HOMEBUNNY 12/10/2008 12:45PM

Enjoy your time with your parents. I am praying for you to have patience & wisdom in guiding your parents with those decisions. I am glad to see that you are able to take time to yourself. Continue to do that. Having that time will keep you strong & even when situations come up. Report Inappropriate Comment

The Mall Awaits

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

I didn't get up for my cultural experience on Black Friday after all. Did you read about that poor fellow who got trampled to death at Walmart!? That's enough to discourage me from attending any of those shopping "events" in the future, too.

But the mall is waiting for me and I hope to get over there sometime this week at a normal time of day.

In the meantime, I've done some online shopping for Dmom - some new pillows and a pulse oximeter. We're also in the market for a button/zipper hook to help her with dressing due to the arthritis in her hands and general weakness.

She's doing well, but we've learned that she was probably on the verge of being dehydrated and also her blood oxygen level was down. The first few days at home were difficult -- she even "snuck" a bath on her own because she's trying so hard to be independent. Very unnerving for me and Ddad.

More later...need to set my goals for December and review my November list.

Thanks for reading and for all the supportive comments!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOMEBUNNY 12/8/2008 11:02AM

I bet it is tough for your mom wanting to do things on her own. I hope you and your dad have the patience to deal with her & can figure out her limitations. Report Inappropriate Comment

JANETELIZABETH1 12/7/2008 3:41PM

Ah Michelle, I remember those American malls!! Nothing like those in Europe...right?? Glad to hear that your mum is making progress and am not surprised that she's trying to be more independent...she will get there! Hope you managed to set all your goals for December..the new year will be here before we know it! Hugs, Janet Report Inappropriate Comment

PIANO*LADY 12/5/2008 4:31PM

Michelle, I'm glad to hear that your mom is doing well. Loss of independence must be very hard to accept, and I pray that she will realize how much you all love her and will rely on you graciously as she improves. I do not do Black Friday. In fact, I stopped that habit before it was called Black Friday! Crowd mentality is scary and I'm surprised there weren't more deaths. There's so much second guessing of that Wal-Mart situation, trying to figure out what caused it and assess blame. I think it's just a sign of greed. I always look forward to your posts, Michelle. I notice that it's raining and cold in Germany, so enjoy our milder Christmas! Report Inappropriate Comment

REYNJANET 12/5/2008 10:55AM

Hope you get your mall shopping done. I've still got some more shopping to do. For one thing I need to take my DM who doesn't drive out of town anymore for her shopping but I'm waiting until after the weekend and our Christmas program to schedule anything. I can sure understand the independence of these parents! I guess it is pay backs for our independent moves when we were young! Hang in there! Hugs Report Inappropriate Comment

CTEMPLE 12/3/2008 4:22PM

Dear Michelle how naughty of R. What about a video monitor in an unobtrusive place? You can't let her do that and sometimes there will be other things happening and you or your dad won't be able to be there. The oxygen in the blood is a very consuming issue, it was hard when DH had liver surgery and it worried me, I hope you sort it out. Glad that you didn't go shopping that day, I hate crowds and can't think of anything worse. XX Claudia Report Inappropriate Comment

TKLINKEN 12/3/2008 1:37AM

Bless your mom for trying to do things on her own. I can see how unnerving that would be. Still saying prayers and thinking of you and your family often. I did Black Friday once. I did not come home with one gift, and I did come home with a migraine. I haven't done it since then. I am so disappointed in those people who trampled that poor guy at Wal-Mart. And I was even more disappointed in the people who got mad because they were being asked to leave the store during the investigation, what is wrong with their common sense? Report Inappropriate Comment

GINILEE4 12/2/2008 7:50PM

I love your mom's spirit. Nothing like sneaking off to do it yourself to boost your confidence. I know it was the wrong thing to do but WTG mom! I have never been a crowded mall lover so I don't go when there are likely to be crowds. I always shop in the early morning and get home by noon. I have my husband take 2 days off work early in December and we go power shopping, picking up nearly everything we need. I also like to shop on line. It is so convenient and fast. I suppose the walk through the mall could be termed exercise, but the same time spent outdoors and crowdfree appeals to me a whole lot more. Gini Report Inappropriate Comment

SKISINCO 12/2/2008 5:25PM

I'm with you, not one to shop on black Friday. No thanks. Glad to hear your mom is adjusting to being at home, and I can understand her want to be independent, but it's good that you are there to watch out for her. Just one fall can set her back, so stay watchful, but also encouraging which I'm sure you are. Hope you are adjusting to being back state side. =) Report Inappropriate Comment

Thankful

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I'm in Florida, Mom is home, alleluia! She's so happy to be back in her own four walls. There are lots of adjustments to be made and both dparents are struggling with that, but it's all good.

They'll watch the parade while I go for a run. Then it will be time to start fixing dinner. Mom planned the menu and will "supervise" as I cook.

We're looking forward to phone calls this afternoon to and from family around the country. Although Mom had a phone in her room at the rehab facility, only a few people had the number. So today will be a happy time for the relatives who haven't heard her talk in awhile.

I'm thinking of getting up at 4 AM and going to the super-duper doorbuster special sales tomorrow just to have the cultural experience.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANETELIZABETH1 12/1/2008 4:46PM

Wonderful to hear that all is well with you Michelle and especially that your mum is home again...the Lord is good!! I know you will have enjoyed your Thanksgiving this year and ...did you get any bargains?? Hugs, Janet. Report Inappropriate Comment

GINILEE4 11/27/2008 8:23PM

What a wonderful way for your family to celebrate. You certainly have so much to be thankful for this year. Even though the reasons you are at home now are not all for Thanksgiving, THIS will be the one you remember the best. Blessings to you all, Gini Report Inappropriate Comment

CTEMPLE 11/27/2008 4:47PM

Michelle so glad to know that you're there and R is at home, what a moment! Cultural experience? HaHa, maybe you will experience how a sausage feels at the subway! Let us know if you went. I 'm afraid of crowds and avoid shopping at sales like the plague! Keep us posted! Claudia Report Inappropriate Comment

PIANO*LADY 11/27/2008 4:22PM

Michelle, I've been eagerly awaiting your post and am glad that you're with your mom. May this be a Thanksgiving that you will treasure forever. As for shopping on Friday, I gave that up a long time ago - even before the stores started opening in the wee hours of the morning. We have a Wal-Mart that opens at midnight tonight and several of my friends will be there. It is definitely madness, but one that you must add to your American experiences. I can't wait to hear your thoughts! Be safe! Love, Carole Report Inappropriate Comment

SKISINCO 11/27/2008 10:12AM

Happy to hear you've made it to FL safe and sound. Enjoy the day w/ your dparents and good luck tomorrow shopping! =) Report Inappropriate Comment

I Fly Away

Friday, November 21, 2008

Just a fly by blog post to say hi and bye! Thank you for all the good wishes and prayers. I fly out in the morning and am now praying that the forecast snow storms don't affect my flight.

Still have a little packing and cleaning to do before I go to bed - next up is the lap top, so it's time to shut it down.

I'll be in Florida soon, yay! Will CI from there!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 11/25/2008 9:32PM

Oh, I live in lovely PENSACOLA, Florida which is on the Gulf Coast, but we have beautiful white sand beaches here and it isn't near as expensive as Miami. I hope you have a wonderful time. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Report Inappropriate Comment

MOM2KNL 11/22/2008 6:16PM

Hey there Michelle, Welcome back to the states! I'll be praying for your transistion, your mom, and the rest of the family! Have a very Happy Thanmksgiving with them all! Your Spark Sista, Michelle Report Inappropriate Comment

PIANO*LADY 11/21/2008 7:51PM

Welcome to the US from this Georgia girl, Michelle! I'm sure you will find our weather milder than you're used to in Germany. May you have a blessed Thanksgiving with your family. - Carole Report Inappropriate Comment

Counting Down

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Just three more days till I leave for the States! So much to do in that time! But it WILL get done somehow or other.

Mom is scheduled to come home from rehab next Tuesday, so I'll be there to help with the transition. Thanksgiving will be a special though quiet one this year, as we have her recovery as a special reason to give God praise and thanks.

Been eating too many sweets lately, but I'm telling myself that things will settle down once I get to the USA. I don't really like that approach, though, and want to be more mindful of what I eat the next couple of days.

Hope to check back in here at least once before I take off!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TKLINKEN 11/20/2008 11:34AM

Best wishes to you, and have a safe trip back to the US. I'm sure things will start to fall into place again after your mom is settled at home and you've established a routine. Hugs T Report Inappropriate Comment

GINILEE4 11/19/2008 8:08PM

Be gentle with yourself as you approach a stress ridden situation. The flight alone will cause your body clock to go a little crazy. Remember what you need to do each morning and during each day to keep yourself grounded and your time in the states will be a good thing for you and your family. Treat yourself well, Michelle. God Bless, Gini Report Inappropriate Comment

SKISINCO 11/19/2008 7:36PM

Michelle, I hope you have a safe flight and look forward to hearing from you either before you leave, but definitely after you get settled. I want you to know that your support means the world to me and I think you are an incredible lady. I feel blessed "knowing" you. =) Tanya Report Inappropriate Comment

PIANO*LADY 11/19/2008 6:11PM

I'm glad you had time to post again, Michelle. I know this is a hectic and emotional time for you, and you really are in my prayers. This will probably be one of the most memorable Thanksgivings in your life. And this is kind of ironic - you'll be in the US and my Beth will be in Germany! I look forward to your next post, Michelle. Please know that I care about you. - Carole Report Inappropriate Comment