Thursday, January 30, 2014
I should be the most confident person on the planet. I have great kids, and adoring husband who thinks I'm terrific, friends, the respect of people in my community and church, and lots of hobbies, goals, and zest for life. I can cook almost anything, I ran two miles this morning, and I feel happy and healthy.
That said, lately, I have been job hunting - after a long time of being a stay at home mom, and I have an interview today. I am incredibly competent person, and even when I worked outside the home, I was told by bosses how thrilled they were with my performance, attitude, and competence. When I mentioned to people I was going to seek employment, I had people falling all over themselves to give a reference.
But writing a resume and going on interviews after years of taking care of people - first my dying mother, then myself for a little while (grief sucks) then my children makes me filled with self doubt. 'Maybe I should have stayed in the workforce instead of nursing my mother through the last weeks of her cancer', I think. 'Instead of taking care of my two little kids while my husband was travelling, maybe I should have gotten a college degree'.
It's not entirely my fault, this worry and doubt. I live in a very type A area near Washington DC where everyone is a mover and shaker, and daily lancing of your mother's abcessed biopsy-site, while an amazing life skill, means nothing to someone who works for a Congressman or Senator. I try to remind myself I really only need care about one entities judgement of me, and he doesn't care about the gaps in my resume.
Friday, February 15, 2013
The scale was not kind today. Despite a week of staying within calorie ranges and excercising a lot, the scale told me I had gained a pound and a half. Since tuesday.
Now, I know I've been good. I've done everything I'm supposed to do, and I know darn well it's the chinese for lunch (wicked MSG) I had yesterday, or the fact that I drank alot of water during my run this morning, but it is incredibly frustrating.
What keeps my chin up? Feeling great. Patting myself on the back when I've survived yet another kickboxing or Zumba class. The fact that my pants fit better.
Is it too much to ask that the scale reward me? Just a little?
Monday, January 28, 2013
It was tough getting out of bed this morning. E kids are home from school, and with icy rain and my husband out of town, it meant exercising indoors- again. No gym, no walk or jog outside. Normally I'm okay with the occasional day inside, but after a week of them due to snow and cold- well, it's getting old.
So I though a reminder of some of the reasons I excercise might be a good way to start my day.
1. I never want to buy anything over a size 10 again.
2. I want to set a great example for my kids. Yes, I love to read and play games too, but use it or lose it!
3. My parents both died before they reached 57. Sure, they were smokers, but still....I want to meet my grandchildren.
4. My in-laws are both in their 60s and can barely walk. They are not obese, they just have so many medical problems their quality of life is awful. Bad knees, bad necks, bad backs, constant cortisone shots, psychiatrists.....obviously, I need to be in good shape to take care of them, because they never made health a priority now.
5. After doing a workout video that I know darn well I would NOT have gotten through 5 years ago, I feel powerful and competent, two of my favorite things to feel.
That's just a few of the reasons I do this. Need is say more?
Off to excercise!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Fall is usually my favorite time of year - kids back to school, a fresh start, new inspiration in the workout department. But due to a few physical issues and most of the things in the house breaking within a two week period, it's been a challenge to greet each day with a good attitude.
That said, excercise is one of the few things that is working - even though it's not resulting in weight loss, I've really been enjoying running and walking lately, and even dusted off a kickboxing DVD this morning. And if I hadn't been walking, I would never have seen the neighborhood fox sitting under a tree , grooming himself just like any other dog. Heaven. It not only brought a smile to my face, but reminded me that no matter how many cimputer, ipods, cam shafts, engagement rings, and piano keys I need to replace, somewhere there's a patch of sunlight waiting to sit in.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Well I had my knee operation on the 29th, and while it was minor, I am definitely less mobile and still in some pain. It was just damaged cartiledge...my meniscus is still in tact, so the doctor thinks I should be able to do everything eventually. I cannot wait to take my first walk outside...still have a couple weeks of physical therapy before that, but soon! I suppose I've waited 2.5 months, I can wait a few weeks. The highlight of my weekend though was being able to attend Easter Service. i'm sure I looked like a camel at communion, my bad leg stretched out awkwardly behind me, but i didn't care.
Now I'm in that dangerous portion of recovery where I feel so much better I want to do everything, and forget that I can't. I fed the cats this morning, and when I squatted down to reach the bowl, I felt a sort of crunching in my knee and some sharp pains...and this is not the first time. I just have to remind myself I am not 100% yet. But I'm counting the days.
Off to physical therapy. Thank you God, for doctors, nurses, healers, and scientists!
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