ZAEZAE   6,107
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Well it's 10:06am and my personal deadline for my Master's degree assignment is MIDNIGHT. So....I haven't done anything of great result so far today and I can hear the proverbial clock ticking away like there is a bomb or something.

Waiting till the last minute is a chosen strategy - some call me an 'incubator' rather than a procrastinator...but this time it seems so HARD. SO BIG...SO IMPORTANT and SO overwhelming.

You've all be supportive, helpful and offered great break it down and stuff like that. But really - I'm freaking on the inside in a big big way.

UGH I think the worst is that I'm SO DONE in my head and so burnt out that I'm having trouble getting into focused student mode. Usually I just buckle down and make it happen....but I can't, I'm struggling and scared. THIS IS IT

I have tomorrow if necessary, but I'm in an all day training class at another location. So tomorrow NIGHT is my absolute last minute, but I told myself I wasn't leaving my office or desk today until it is done....and here I am on SP instead of WORKING.

Ok - I'm outta here friends - please please send positive vibes, love, prayers and anything else my way! I keep telling myself this is going to be an AWESOME day! I'm trying to get there mentally...REALLY REALLY REALLY

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLORIDASUN 3/30/2010 2:26PM

    Hugs to you dear one...if anyone can make things happen last's you! I do the same darn thing...why...creative pressure seems to inspire me to produce miracles...hope that's your strategy also! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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APPLE2BOO 3/28/2010 2:02PM

    Sorry I was AWOL with computer problems. I hope a brainstorm hit that solved your dilema! How about letting us in on what happened? It might help someone else. (I'm sure you found a solution...I just hope you weren't torturing yourself trying to find the "PERFECT" answer to your problem. You know perfection is over-rated!) emoticon

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BLONDEDOG 3/23/2010 3:37PM

    I'm a little late on this one, but I'm sure you made it through and are doing great!


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AZIMAT 3/18/2010 6:12PM

    You go girl! You can do it.

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    Take some slow deep breaths, and do what Stephanie said...get a little exercise. Go outside and walk 5 minutes in one direction, then 5 minutes back. Set your timer for 40 minutes and work straight through. You will find yourself being far more productive. If you need more time, do it again.

Hope you me tht deadline! Tuesday a.m., I turned in a project that I worked on until 2:15 Monday night. I was humiliated because I thought it was such a sub par piece of work. But, in the class, we did peer review yesterday and the papers I had to check were just as bad (and maybe even worse!) than mine, I realized everyone had agonized over the assignment. Today when I got mine back, it didn't look as bad as I'd remembered it being....

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LEIGHKARA 3/17/2010 10:53PM

  Said a little prayer for you Zae - pretty impressive working on your masters- your a smart girl-God given smarts- you can do it!

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SLASALLE 3/17/2010 6:35PM

    So it's now 5:33 CST and I just read your blog. Hope you were able to pull it together. If not then, how about now? I usually find that if I can just get moving on a plan, then I can keep moving. Kind of like exercise. How, you might ask?

Well, I OFTEN trick myself. At times I don't feel like exercising, I will tell myself that if I do only 10 minutes and still do not feel like exercising, I can stop. Guess what? By the time 10 minutes hits, I'm feeling the good things. Nine times out of 10, I end up doing way more than 10 minutes.

It's just getting started ... so go get started!!!! :)

AND let me know how it's going ...


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Mwah! The light breaks through the clouds!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I finally had a break through's been so long that my eating has been in the weeds...bigtime

I hired a coach to try and get some clarity and it worked!! I feel renewed and I feel like I have a strategy that I can live with and it just might actually work.

Another success was lunch today - my new work lunch friend who typically likes to eat big, bad for you food, went along with me to a vegetarian restaurant. AWESOME! I feel on top of the world right now.

My coach is focusing on trying to help me eat intuitively but mostly focusing on adding things (fruits and veggies) versus taking things away. She's also encouraging me to focus on my own strategy of 60% solution IS good enough! GO FIGURE

I am SO excited and SO happy and feel better about all this than I have in days!!!! I am going to start tracking servings of fruits and veggies using the quick tracker and go from there. I wasn't super prepared today (was on the phone with my coach until MIdnight!) but I'm making an effort and lunch was not greasy, fried, or available from a drive through. Major success in small ways for me.

Oh and p.s. I still haven't started of finished my portfolio and I am starting to freak - but making some headway back towards healthy eating has made me feel so good mentally that the time spent is WELL worth it!

I am SO happy!!!!!! Even though I am freaking out at the same time!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APPLE2BOO 3/28/2010 2:05PM

    I hope all is still working well. It sounds like a great plan. Where did you find your coach anyways emoticon

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TAKEONME48137 3/17/2010 9:45AM

    Yay! I'm glad you're feeling awesome! I hope your coach helps quite a bit and gets you going again. You will be successful! Good luck with everything. =)

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LIV2RIDE 3/17/2010 6:38AM

    I'm glad you are on top of the world! Great day for you. I pray you have many more. Sometimes you just need an outsider to confirm what you already know. emoticon

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BUNNYCATS 3/16/2010 9:15PM

    I like that positive take on the intuitive food plan. Adding things instead of subtracting things. I want to care for myself, not punish myself! I'm going to incorporate this into my own food plan. Thanks for sharing. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes. "What is laid down, ordered, factual is never enough to embrace the whole truth: life always spills over the rim of every cup." Boris Pasternak

emoticon emoticon

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KARVY09 3/16/2010 8:41PM

    So glad you're feeling better and I hope that your coach is able to give you the guidance that you need!

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FITGRL124 3/16/2010 5:21PM

    Amy - I am so excited for you! I'm glad that your going for a reasonable solution versus cutting things out. I think when you cut things out it becomes too much like a chore and not a healthy lifestyle. So - GREAT job!!!!

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MSSUNBUG 3/16/2010 4:55PM

    I'm pleased to hear you seeking out a reasonable solution that sounds much better suited to your life and schedule--especially one that doesn't pose healthy habits as "all or nothing." Having the help of a coach should be really energizing and motivating as well. I wish you good things in the coming weeks as you finish out your career as a student and take care of yourself as you do!

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MANDAO97 3/16/2010 3:39PM

    I love hearing your enthusiasm and your new plans! You deserve to be happy and staying healthy definitely makes you happy :) Good luck on the portfolio. thanks!

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good news/bad news

Monday, March 15, 2010

good news:
I'm getting the taste for healthy food back! I'm starting to crave and long for my yummy green smoothies and other great stuff that I haven't fed myself in too long...

bad news:
I'm super dooper procrastinating doing my portfolio. UGH. Wasted way too much time today and it's extra terrible because hubby made it a priority to give me the 'night off' from my sweet punkin. Double ugh!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANDAO97 3/16/2010 2:10PM

    I am so good at procrastinating. Too bad that's not considered a desirable skill. You'll get it done. Break it down into smaller parts and give yourself hard deadlines for each part! You can do it! Glad you are craving some healthy foods :)

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MAMASPARROW 3/16/2010 10:10AM

    Hi Amy! Long time, no see on SP! I miss ya! I hope that all goes well with your project. Way to go on the healthy eating. You can do it - one day at a time... :-)

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TAKEONME48137 3/16/2010 9:23AM

    Yay! I'm glad you're getting the taste back for the healthy food. And it's clearly obvious you're procrastinating because you're on Spark. =p lol just kidding...but seriously, I hope all is well and that the next few weeks go by as smoothly as possible because I know you just can't wait to be done. =) *HUGS*

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I WILL graduate!

Friday, March 12, 2010

While I don't have the 'official' word yet and I still have TONS of work to do...I have decided to stop talking about IF I graduate and start talking about WHEN I graduate.

I WILL graduate April 25, 2010
I WILL get everything DONE (somehow)
I WILL be proud of every last thing
I WILL do my best but will accept if that doesn't earn me an A
I WILL put in as much time as I can, but this may only mean a mediocre grade
I really don't care what grade I get as long as I get the degree!!

As of today I have 6 days to create my portfolio and 3.5 weeks until my project is due. I'm so far from being done but I am also convinced that it WILL happen!!!!!!

Wow - it felt great to say allll that!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANDAO97 3/16/2010 2:09PM

    I'm jealous that you are so close to getting your degree and I am just starting the MBA program!! Next month you can breathe a huge sign of relief.

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TAKEONME48137 3/12/2010 8:10PM

    Yes! You will do it all! And then you can come back here!!! hehe I miss you and I hope all is well. I'm glad you took some time to pop in. =)

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WINTERRAIN 3/12/2010 8:05PM

    Way to go when You Graduate look back at this day and be proud!

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KARVY09 3/12/2010 7:09PM

    You will graduate! YES!

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BECOMINGONE 3/12/2010 5:54PM

    You are going to do it. Not if ... but soon! I'm back in school also -- I wish I could say I can relate -- but I have three semesters left.

One foot in front of the other. One assignment at a time. One hour at a time. You can do this!


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SLASALLE 3/12/2010 5:35PM

    Ooooooooh baby - I can SO RELATE to this one. How's about I will join you in kinship here. I WILL GRADUATE. There is NO IF about it. My classes are over on April 18th. I'm now in my final class. It will keep me INCREDIBLY busy for the next 5 weeks, 2 days and 7-1/2 hours, but then who's counting?

Now, enough about me and joining you in kinship.

YOU WILL GRADUATE!!! Pace yourself. If you have to, set aside one hour at a time for working on that last project. If it's overwhelming, break it down into smaller steps.

You go, girl!!!

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MSSUNBUG 3/12/2010 5:00PM

    Sometimes just changing the way we talk and think around things that feel like they're pressuring and threatening us strips them of their power enough to make them far less scary--and feel less impossible. You're right to empower yourself! I believe you can do it too!

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USMAWIFE 3/12/2010 4:41PM

    Congrats. emoticon

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KDLYNB 3/12/2010 4:38PM

    Way to go! You WILL get this done and it WILL be awesome!

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Getting back....

Monday, February 22, 2010

I'm working on the mental and physical of getting back on track. I am a work in progress for sure....

Slowly but surely I am coming back around. Today I started tracking my food and it felt GREAT!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APPLE2BOO 2/24/2010 3:59PM

    It's hard work, but you can do it!!!!!! emoticon

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FLORIDASUN 2/23/2010 7:24PM

    Hugs and Spark love are being sent to you dear Amy girl! emoticon emoticon

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NEWME0519 2/22/2010 8:03PM

    One step at a time!

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TAKEONME48137 2/22/2010 2:11PM

    Yay! I'm happy for you. Just take little steps and everything will work out. =)

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FITGRL124 2/22/2010 2:11PM


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MANDAO97 2/22/2010 2:10PM

    We are always here to welcome you with big wide open arms :) Hope it's a good day and leads up to a great week!

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LMCGEEN 2/22/2010 1:40PM

    Welcome back my dear! I love the background!

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TABITHAFM 2/22/2010 1:38PM

    Listen sweetheart, I'm a chronic - "I'm starting over" person. Let me tell you - despite the feeling of failure I do get, I think it takes even bigger courage to keep trying. Kudos to you! You can do it. Things I learned:

- I can't build Rome in a day - I used to think from eating bad and never working out I could change it all! In a day and exercise all the time and be like Rocky or something. Now, I just concentrate in one thing. Once I get a handle on that, I add another.

-Keep a journal - Sounds a bit lame. I find it's a challenge to write in it all the time and I forget for periods. However, it's like take a slice of that great feeling and being able to access it again. Or to write how I feel when I eat or when I'm hungry and I'm able to tackle some emotional eating issues.

Anyways, good lucK!

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