ZAEZAE   6,107
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ZAEZAE's Recent Blog Entries

woo hoo! One day down...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Yesterday I survived my first day 100% caffeine and soda free! Woo hoo!!
I'm still struggling sometimes with my emotional attachment to the beverage and I catch my self thinking like a 5 year old at times too...if everyone else is drinking soda and they are "healthy" and "thin" why cant I??

But deep down (sometimes VERY deep down), I know getting rid if this addiction is important to me and a huge first step towards a healthier lifestyle for me and my family. Trying to explain to my 3 year old why Mommy can drink Diet Coke but he's not allowed sounds ridiculous to my ears!

Still working through some headaches, but that's too be expected - I am a very headache prone person in general. Either way, I'm proud of myself and working towards day 2!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLORIDASUN 5/20/2012 7:57AM

    Fantastic! I kicked all sodas to the curb over two years ago and have never looked back. When you think of yourself guzzling pure chemicals and additives it gets a little easier. You can master this...I KNOW you can! Do it for your sweet little guy..he looks to his momma for example. emoticon emoticon

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NEWME0519 5/11/2011 10:13AM

    Awesome! We only live one day at a time so we can only pursue out goals a day at a time!

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FITGRL124 5/11/2011 10:00AM

    YAHOO!!! Day one done now moving on to day two! emoticon

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WEEZIE30 5/11/2011 9:17AM

    Good job!

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Working with my wellness coach

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Last week, I started working with a wellness coach. It's a long distance thing - she's in Saskatoon, Canada - but I couldn't be more excited. There's a loooong backstory behind our 1st chance meeting, but that's a story for a separate blog. emoticon

This week I'm focused on giving up soda - again. I still want to kick the habit in my logical brain, I just sometimes (or always) struggle with follow through. I gave it up awhile back but then slowly let it creep back into my habits and next thing you know my addiction was in full swing again. Lately I've even been having Mountain Dew for breakfast instead of coffee. Not a good plan!!

More than my focus on a healthy habits, my coach has given me a huge gift. One that I so desperately needed, but likely will never be able to repay. The gift of hope. For a long time now I've truly felt like a lost cause, destined to be obese and just get fatter and fatter as the years passed. My coach overcame obesity almost by accident. She was making healthy lifestyle changes over a number of years and they just snowballed into some excellent results.

Besides the obvious goal of weight loss (and a visible collar bone!), I am working with her as partners to figure out the best diet for me. I've detailed that I want a 3 prong approach. Level 1 is when life is content, I am not travelling and things are our version of normal (i.e. not tax season). Level 2 is for more stressful times or when I am travelling. I will make some compromises from my 'best' choices at this level. Level 3 is for high stress and when I'm barely hanging on by a thread. Here I might make many compromises to my 'best' choices but I will know which are smarter and will harm my progress less.

Any of my friends here knows that I tend to be an all or nothing type and I usually chuck it all and head to McDonalds when things are out of control or planning hasn't happened. This is my attempt to teach myself that I can make good choices, even in a tough situation or time. My coach has great positive thoughts towards our process and her excitement in working with me is so contagious and genuine. I like a plan and framework, so I feel like I might have finally tapped into a process that I can really get engaged and excited about.

Taking baby steps towards my long term goals feels great, but it's a very different approach for me! So, here's to a new sense of hope!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWME0519 5/11/2011 10:01AM

    Good Luck on the new direction of your journey!

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MSSUNBUG 5/10/2011 4:39PM

    Interesting--I'm about to start training for this very job you're describing (wellness coaching). I'm thrilled to hear you took this route.

I wish you all the best with this and am so thrilled to hear you say you have hope--that's the best gift you could possibly receive!



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FITGRL124 5/10/2011 1:51PM

    I know what you mean about throwing in the towel! Sometimes my days get so stressful that I binge. The key for me is knowing that my binge session (and yes, on some not so healthy choices) are just a short term thing and that they do not derail my efforts entirely.

It sounds to me that you've had a great meeting with your wellness coach! I'm excited to hear how things go!

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TX.PATRICIA 5/10/2011 1:39PM

    Sounds awesome!! Keep that positive attitude going!!!

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Sorry SP Me!

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

That's my son's way of saying, "I'm sorry!". His version is "Sorry Mumma, Me!" It couldn't be cuter.

Well, I do want to apologize to all my Spark friends and those of you that have stopped by to read my blogs or check out my page. I feel like I've failed all of you and that has kept me from really being involved in SP again for a long time now.

I also feel ineffective in many facets of my life. I need to worker harder at work and create more structure and boundaries at home. Both hubby and I are super laid back at home and it's causing things to be a little too loosey goosey. As we look towards our son's ability to be ready for kindergarten next fall, we need to consider that some structure is necessary to help him assimilate into the 'real world' that is public school.

I desire to do better, but desire isn't anything without action behind it.

I'm starting work with a life coach on Friday and I hope this will really jump start my efforts to change our life. Change in this case isn't just for me - it's needed for me and my family.

Just wanted to say hi and share what's on my mind.

Hugs to you all!
Amy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNEYRUS 5/4/2011 11:40AM

    emoticon You are so right and your mind is on the right track. This isn't just about you and your weight loss, there is a bigger picture and as we get ourselves healthier, we also need to make our environment healthier too. Including our households and finances, our circle of friends and our community. It all eventually comes together, as you get better you naturally start doing other things better too. As long as you don't give up YOU CAN TOTALLY DO IT!

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NEWME0519 5/3/2011 4:54PM

    Amy, we're all still here whenever you're ready to play!
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FITGRL124 5/3/2011 3:25PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Again and again

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

My last blog was awhile ago - so this is just a quick update.

I got some awesome advice. Thanks everyone.

I'm o.k. - it's funny. Some things have changed big time since I first joined SP (like finishing my Master's degree, my son talking, etc.) but my weight sure isn't one of them.

I'm back up to nearly my highest weight ever. I'm also still traveling and I'm out of town today.

I think my real issue is priorities and I'm going to do my best to make a healthy lifestyle higher on my list for ME. Now that my son is getting older, things that seemed impossible in the beginning of this journey now seem like they could be an option.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MPALMER15 4/20/2011 10:45PM

    Welcome back! emoticon

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IMVEGAN 4/20/2011 6:56PM

    I am glad you are back. Here is a little motivation for you. Overweight adults are much more likely to raise overweight children. If you need motivation to eat healthily, look into the eyes of your son. Teaching him the value of real, quality delicious foods and an active lifestyle will keep you both healthy and lean. And children who eat lots of good quality veggies and fruits and whole grains do better in school are less likely to be labeled as hyperactive and actually have been shown to have higher IQ's because they are feeding the brain as it grows.




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WELLNESSME09 4/20/2011 11:30AM

    Wishing you the very best on your journey to good health and fit you! emoticon emoticon

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FITGRL124 4/20/2011 11:29AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

It is SOOOOOOOOOO good to hear from you!!!! I was just thinking of you yesterday!

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Comment edited on: 4/20/2011 11:30:18 AM

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How do I 'fix it' when I don't know what's broken?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Part of my confusion around my weight, trying to lose weight and figuring out what 'diet' works for me is this...how in the world do I lose weight when I don't totally get or understand fully what my food issues are.

I started pondering this when an awesome spark friend reached out to me to offer a helping hand. I'm afraid I didn't understand the massive value and significant gift that was being offered to me and sadly I missed an opportunity that will likely not come my way again. (MSSUNBUG I mean you - if you read this please take this as a public apology).

Then I had the chance to connect with a new spark friend through my best bud GOODBYE140. (You rock Beck, I'd be sunk without you!) Becky introduced me to MPALMER15. For some reason this Melissa has gotten to hear a lot of crazy stuff out of me in a really short time. She seems to get all this crazy thinking I do about eating raw and vegan-ish and I have now taken to over sharing with her whenever I get the chance. I just sent my first email to Melissa and it got me thinking about the root cause of my struggles. In a lot of ways I feel the root cause is that I have NO CLUE what my problem is.

Basically, I just don't get what my food issues really are. I feel like the label 'emotional eater' should apply, but in many ways I don't think that's true. I don't know that compulsive over eater hits the mark either. I eat when I'm happy, sad, bored, to celebrate, etc. I just like to eat junk and I indulge all the time whether it's due to lack of time, lack of planning, lack of ambition, lack of desire or just plan laziness. I know that my Sister is in a lot of ways an enabler or an encourager to 'come to the dark side' but I also know that if I put my foot down and showed up at her house with something prepared just for me she would just shrug and say, "ok, whatever, you're on one of your kicks again". My family is so used to me being 'weird' that wanting to eat 'weird' really isn't so shocking to them anymore. Clearly that isn't what's holding me back.

So, I'm stumped on what type of program or counseling or book could help me. Because I don't totally get the 'why' I don't know how to fix me. The only thing I truly can track back to is when I was very little I was always told I was going to disappear. I was a preemie baby and stayed teenie tiny until 3rd grade. People used to tell my Mom they were sorry, thinking I must be a really sick kid. My parents constantly tried to force me to eat thinking it was the right thing to do. I know at some point I got sick of being made fun of by my family and I started eating to shut them up. I certainly don't feel invisible now. I have a great family, a job I love and I just finished my Master's degree last spring. So why do I keep eating junk, making bad choices, etc?? I really really don't get why.

Maybe what I need is a counselor, but I don't know where to start with that either. I don't really feel 'messed up' but I do feel often that my weight is a lost cause and no matter what I do I'll always be fat so why try? I know that's in my mind a lot and it's not helped by the fact that at this point it's true. Even since joining spark I've lost and gained the same 30lbs over and over.

So - here I am trying to open my brain to you guys to see if you can figure out what I can't seem to. I work in a job where 'root cause analysis' is one of my specialties, so I'm sure you can understand why not getting to the bottom of this really bugs me!!

Any and all advice is appreciate - and please know I love you all, especially many of my loyal spark friends I didn't call out in this blog!

That means you:
LIVE2RIDE, RTBTMAY, MAMASPARROW, BLONDEDOG, LALAFLOWERS, THEBUNNYRANCH (and the rest of you too!)

Happy Valentines Day!
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Amy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIV2RIDE 2/15/2011 7:21AM

    thanks for the shout out! Ok so here's a question. Why do you need a label? How about just going to a healthy diet and way of thinking. The Spark is a great book if you can't follow the program online. It puts everything in front of you. Yes, you ultimately need to deal with your issues but I don't think you know them or learn them until you get there. You can't force your way there just so you know how to treat yourself. Counseling is good but not always necessary. So my advice it to just eat healthy, eat fresh whole foods (lots of them) and bag the junk. Don't buy it so it's not in the house. If it's not healthy for you it's not healthy for your son either. Experimenting with recipes and cooking is a fun way to get all the fresh veggies, grains, beans, legumes, nuts, seeds and fruits. The internet is full of great recipes. emoticon

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NIELSENSLADY 2/14/2011 11:22PM

    Hey there! I understand EXACTLY how you feel. I know it's in the numbers. You have to burn more than what you eat. If you burn 2500 cals in a 24 hour period every day, then eat 2000 calories a day for a week and you loose a pound. It's a matter of fact science but of course its so much more than that! It's also about what we eat! How we fill up on the amount of calories we're alloted to get the weight off. More filling foods etc. However we want them to taste good too or we'll get bored. Planning is everything. If you can find good healthy foods that you can enjoy and find a way to fit them into your schedule, and be consistent then you're there, but easier said than done! I know.

Nothing wrong for asking for help twice either. Maybe your friend is still available. Don't worry girl. You'll get there one day!

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LALAFLOWERS 2/14/2011 10:43PM

    Girly.. thanks for the shout out.. nice.. but.. you know, that's why this site works! We're all in it together! And, we help each other, whenever we can.

Got a question for you: Why some 'weird' way of eating? Why not just cook from scratch, as much as you can. Stick to more veggies, and fruit, pay attention to serving size, and try for lean protein if possible. Prepare foods that your family will recognize, but be smart for yourself.

Yep. It's called a healthy lifestyle in moderation. Ok.. so you may have a bit of sweet, or salty, etc.. once in a while. Not every week, not every day, maybe not even every month.. but once in a while. If it's not 'banned', you may very well find that you don't crave it.

Have you ever found that your son wants the thing that you just made a big deal about him not being able to have???? We all want what we can't have.

I know.. there are so many benefits to raw food, or vegetarian, or vegan... but no always the easiest to apply when around those who don't subscribe to the views.... or, who aren't interested.

Try just tracking, going for 5 freggies, and getting some exercise. Simple.

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FITGRL124 2/14/2011 9:19PM

    emoticon

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