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Screamin' and a cryin' don't change nothin'

Saturday, July 19, 2014

You know when you're already stressed out and then something "big" happens--like, let's say you lose your debit card when you're out of cash and almost out of gas in an unfamiliar area--and all of a sudden, the day that you THOUGHT you were sailing through comes grinding to a halt, and the planets feel like their exploding in your face? emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Of course you do. Everyone does. Today was a day like that for me. Little things that I was about to blow out of proportion. I started to feel myself losing it. I thought about running out to grab this new ice cream my friend has been telling me about. I thought about calling my mom (no joke) and commiserating, or calling my friend to see if she could calm me down.

But before I started screaming and crying, I reminded myself that losing a debit card or having your dryer break when you've got 2 more loads of laundry ISN'T cancer or a imprisonment sentence. It's life. It's going to happen. And it's a huge PITA, but if I let those things throw me off course, I'll never get to where I want to go.

This is what I said to stop the hysteria from being kicked off:

"You could call your mom and complain, but that would only take up time and shove the stress onto her. That's not fair. She deserves to get a phone call where she isn't going to be your emotional trash collector. You can go out and eat that ice cream, but you're going to be hungry soon afterwards and mad that you erased your work at the gym this morning. You can call X friend, but think about how you'd feel if someone called you not to say "hi" but to complain about a bad day. The right choice is to take a deep breath and think about real solutions."

And I got myself out of it. I didn't need the ice cream or the panic call. My problems got fixed, and I got stuff done. I feel 1000x better about today that I would've had I chosen a different route.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVELIFE2012 7/21/2014 8:33AM

    beautiful - this was me after a dentist visit on Saturday. My mouth was in pain and I was driving home and wanting to cry (I dislike going to the dentist....A LOT). Then I decided I was going to tell my fiancÚ quickly how I felt and then let it go... "hey I'm heading home, I feel like crying because my mouth hurts". I told myself that I have some AMAZING teeth (lol) and told myself to shut it. My fiancÚ lost his wife to cancer so he really keeps things in perspective. I love your timely. What an epiphany.

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REMEMBER2BME 7/20/2014 5:47AM

    Wow, this is outstanding. These days I think I honestly would have gone for food. That is so unlike the real me but it sure has been me lately. I love who you thought through this. I am really going to try to think of you and what you said here. This really hits home.

My go to used to be... ok.. the most important thing is that I have Aspen, then it was Utah. I guess I am still a bit lost. But I have gobbs and you are right, it was not cancer or imprisonment.
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NATPLUMMER 7/19/2014 7:31PM

    emoticon Well done!!

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LEN_VERSION32 7/19/2014 7:04PM


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CATTUTT 7/19/2014 6:53PM

    Great job handling that so well. It's hard to think so clearly when crap is happening. Thumbs up!

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EDDYMEESE 7/19/2014 5:11PM

    Fantastic job!

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Developing a passion takes work

Sunday, July 13, 2014

I love 5ks 10ks halfs, etc., but I'm looking for some lower-cost options that will get me outdoors. Running races is addictive, but I think I may look for ONE marathon in winter 2014/2015 and have that be my race for the year. What else is out there? Are there any cool running apps or virtual runs (like to the moon and back, or across the country) that anyone has tried and liked?

Part of this quest for goals is because of my own sense of being "goal-less." We're responsible for setting our own goals and generating passion and curiosity in our lives. At least, that's my experience. Sometimes we stumble on our passions (like trying an activity once and being hooked!), but a lot of times, we won't know if we really love something until we dedicate ourselves first. . . Has this been anyone else's experience?

I know running was a lot like that for me. I liked running, but I didn't feel hooked on it until I did it repeatedly for years and years. It wasn't until college that I felt hooked. There are a lot of other activities like piano, for example, where I feel like I gave up right before I really "got-into" it.

As I mentioned in another blog, I'm trying not to fight this move. Yes, it's not where I want to be, and moving lots of times compounded with personal changes is hard, etc.. But maybe this is a golden opportunity to embrace activities like piano and see if, with a little dedication, I can find new passions.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WORTHEYMOM 7/14/2014 3:17PM

    OH that is such a great idea! if you find any virtual races, send me a link! I would love to join you! You are so right though, I find myself giving up right before I really get the hang of it! BUT NO MORE!

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NATPLUMMER 7/13/2014 7:08PM

    Zombies Run! app is pretty fun.

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WENDYSPARKS 7/13/2014 3:58PM


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CATTUTT 7/13/2014 3:13PM

    I don't have any app recommendations, but I wanted to say this is an excellent post. It's true that sometimes you have to do something a few times before you really appreciate it and enjoy it. It sounds like you're taking the move with a good attitude. I hope all goes well!

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Trying not to fight it

Thursday, July 10, 2014

One of the challenges I've faced recently is coping with a number of significant changes (like multiple moves, both job and house, end of a l/t relationship, financial stress, etc), and it is REALLY hard to stay consistent with health and wellness.

I've moved again for my job, and I keep wanting to look around this say "ugh, I hate it here." Realistically, I know that this city isn't the last port of call for me. It's not forever, and I *really* *really* don't want to like it here. I don't want to find a favorite running spot, I don't want to like the multi-million dollar community fitness center that's FREE because of my job, I don't want to try a new yoga studio. As bad as this sounds, I don't even want to COOK IN MY KITCHEN, lol.

But like it or not, I'm going to be here for at least 47 more weeks (but hey, who's counting?). While I may *feel* as though my life has stalled, it most definitely hasn't.

If spark has taught me anything--and it has--it's that if you WAIT FOR THE STARS TO BE PERFECTLY ALIGNED before you start a routine, you will never start.

I shouldn't fight this move. It's a good job. There are great places for me to run and be active. I've got lots of options AND AND I have both the time and the money (sort of) to engage. If I'm logical about this, setting health goals for myself will help a year go by much more quickly and give me all sorts of other benefits that I could probably use ; )

I'm going to try not to fight this anymore. It's just like fighting a hard workout at the gym. There are indeed times when it is best to give in.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WORTHEYMOM 7/11/2014 9:18AM

    You are braver than I! I like how you want to turn this into a positive. That's always the best way to deal with changes =) Keep your head up and you will be making new friends, finding new adventures and having fun before you know it!

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NATPLUMMER 7/11/2014 8:58AM


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PMRUNNER 7/11/2014 6:16AM

    Moving is stressful and challenging. By the time my DD1 turned 8, she was in her 8th house (in 6 different locations) We have adapted to accepting the change and explore each new location. The turbulence will hopefully settle down eventually, but in the mean time we are trying to embrace the positive aspects. Good luck with all!

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REMEMBER2BME 7/11/2014 6:01AM

    Killer blog. Wow, moving so much would be very stressful. I could completely hear myself in my head complaining and wanting to give my self a break (deservingly so) AND then the other person in my head would be saying this is the perfect time to dive into a healthy routine. It is the most important time with there is so much stress (positive or negative or both) to gain balance and focus with my fitness. YOU GO GIRL. YOU GOT THIS!
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DJ4HEALTH 7/10/2014 9:55PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Motivational Ellen D. for the 4th

Friday, July 04, 2014

I'm back. I've been maintaining my weight and eating generally well since my absence, but consistency is a real problem for me. I feel "goal-less," and although I am a healthy weight, I've lost a lot of my tone and focus on other aspects of leading a healthy, well-balanced life.

This Ellen Degeneres commencement speech prompted me to log back onto Spark.

I chose the above link because it has a transcript as well as a video. What stuck with me from the speech:

"I mean it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is is to be true to yourself. And ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place. I don't live in fear. I'm free. I have no secrets. And I know I'll always be okay, because no matter what, I know who I am."

Who am I? What I want to be able to say at the end of the day is not: I am thin, I have the best muscle tone, I can do 500 push ups, etc.

I want to be the woman who never gives up. At this point in the journey, the weight doesn't matter. But striving for better health does. Setting physical and personal goals and persisting in my ATTEMPT to achieve them? That's what matters. I'm practicing forgiveness for all the times I don't log in, and don't keep up because I'm still moving forward, and have been since I got to Spark.

Happy Fourth to all : ) emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REMEMBER2BME 7/10/2014 9:07AM

    Killer blog and so very true. It is so important to be the person we want to be.

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NATPLUMMER 7/4/2014 9:11PM


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UMBILICAL 7/4/2014 9:06PM


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Restart going well, marathon signed up for!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Even though I haven't been on spark, I've been doing really well with re-establishing a routine and getting back to the gym. I've done it slowly. I literally have about 5-7 lbs left to reach my goal weight, which is AMAZING. Ever since starting SP a couple of years ago, I've never rocketed back up to my highest weight of 135-138, which I consider an accomplishment in and of itself. I made some forever changes, and I'm still learning and making more. So, onto my big goal for 2014: run a marathon! I'm signed up for one in June, which gives me oodles of time to train. I've also boldly established a list of rewards to keep me motivated in meeting my other health goals. Here is this week's potential reward:

Mar. 17-21
-Rewards (NOT cumulative, lol)-
-If I exercise 20 minutes each week day, I will have two glasses of wine post-friday work at beautiful restaurant
-If I attend 5 classes at the gym this week, I will buy myself 1 month unlimited yoga pass
-If I exercise 60 minutes each week day, attend 3 group fitness classes, and have at least 80 grams of protein each week day, I will buy tickets to local concert I really want to see

Ok, off to group fitness class. Really want to go see this concert ; )

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAESTROSHASHA 3/16/2014 7:36PM

    Rewards are great. I do them from time to time and need to do it more. Really like the grams of protein idea. Never would have thought of that. Good luck and may the force be with you this week!

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NATPLUMMER 3/16/2014 4:56PM


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GETSTRONGRRR 3/16/2014 4:06PM

    Sounds work in some long run rewards for your marathon goal and you've got a solid plan!!

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