Sunday, May 08, 2011
Mother's Day has always been filled with mixed emotions for me. I love my mom. We've had some dysfunctional moments, but she really is a great person.
The problem lies with me. I always wanted to be a mom, had always planned to have children. It just never happened. I married at 36 to a man who swore that we would have children "within 2 years". In two years, he said he wasn't ready. Two years after that, he still wasn't ready. The marriage ended last July, and pretty much took my dreams of becoming a mother with it.
However, if you remove the biological function, I realize that I have mothered and nurtured. And every day, I have the opportunity to care for others. Happy Mother's Day to all, including us non-traditional "Moms".
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. He has been throwing up, not eating, and acting disoriented. He's 16 1/2 years old, so naturally, I assumed the worst.
Turns out, he's got a bacterial infection. I have to administer liquid antibiotics for the next couple of weeks and inject him with an IV drip twice a day. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it, but love will get you through difficult moments.
I'm relieved that he's ok.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Enjoying a lazy sunday, drinking coffee (an indulgence, since I normally avoid caffeine), cat in lap, and waiting for my boyfriend to wake up. Life is good.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
It's been over a month since my last blog. I've lost a couple of pounds, reunited with an old flame, and the anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication is working really well. I took my niece & nephew to the movies and out to lunch, and then we came back to my house and played Wii fit.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I haven't spent much time on Sparkpeople in the last couple of weeks. Last week, I made the decision to go on anti-depressants. I'm not suicidal or anything--I've just had this persistent sadness with frequent crying jags. I realized that it was a problem when I nearly burst into tears at work.
So far the medication seems to be working. It is supposed to help with anxiety, which is good. The only side effect that I've noticed is some mild drowsiness. I'm sleeping better, and the crying jags have disappeared completely.
I'm not sure if the depression is a result of fallout from the divorce, the pressures of buying a new house, stress at work, and relocating. There certainly has been no shortage of stress in my life, plus depresssion runs in my family.
Thank God for pharmaceuticals.
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