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YINYANGSJM's Recent Blog Entries

Getting ready for

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Ok, 48 hours from now I will hopefully be officially divorced (crossing fingers). I've got a lot of mixed feelings about it so decided to blog...I'm sorry ahead of time if I ramble :). Here's what I'm feeling: relief, dread, scared $hitless, strong, sad and a whole lot of other things that I can't even think of the words for. I know that I've made the right decision. It's been just over a year since I moved out and I honestly think that was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I'd lost myself in our relationship because after being told negative things over and over for a period of time you start to believe them. I felt like there was just a little kernel of myself left in this big ugly shell of a body. I think what I'm most afraid about is not knowing what's going to happen at the hearing on Friday. My ex has perfected this "poor me" act and I'm interested to see what the judge thinks of it.

During the past year I haven't taken very good care of myself. After about 6 months of throwing up on a daily basis I took some time off work to get myself together. Since then my blood pressure has been up and I've been started on diabetic medicine. After the production on Friday is over I'm going to start focusing on my health. Luckily the week after the hearing I go home to Nebraska for 2 weeks to spend good quality time with the friends and family who I love and who love me. When I come back, my best friend is coming out to visit for Thanksgiving. I will also be taking a diabetic education class which I think will be a big help...oddly enough I'm looking forward to learning about how to manage this and hopefully beat it with weight loss and diet.

So...I'm while I'm nervous about Friday I can't wait to get back to myself when it's over and done with. Thanks for letting me ramble...I feel better already :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2KRAYZEE 11/18/2010 3:11PM

    How are you doing? I think you have shown incredible strength. I hope things went okay for you in court.

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YINYANGSJM 10/28/2010 7:52PM

    Thanks for the nice comments! I am so lucky to have great friends (online and in my daily life) and a great family too. It's helped make this "adventure" a lot easier than it could have been!!!

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RHONDALYN10 10/27/2010 9:02PM

    Speaking from experience - it will take some time - there will still be days of roller coaster emotions. But, you have something I didn't - a STRONG support system here with SP and it sounds at home as well. Always remember that you are strong, you are beautiful and you will succeed!

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GOROSIEO 10/27/2010 8:51PM

    Ok, my student left.

It is probably the toughest thing you will have to do in your life and you are amazed that you are sitting in court. This was not the plan you had for yourself.

My husband also pulled the poor me act. As he said "living on the kindness of strangers". Such a joke. I think judges are well use to this routine.

Be strong. The worst is almost over. You will be building your own life now.


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NOTABOUTHEFACE 10/27/2010 8:27PM

    I'm sorry you had to endure that but am glad you're moving on with your life. Hopefully all will go smoothly Friday and you can truly feel free. Take care of yourself!

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GOROSIEO 10/27/2010 7:28PM

    I know how nervous you must feel. I never got to the court part. Our divorce was resolved by mediator.

I'm posting quickly here (have a student coming) so I won't lose you and can finish this.

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FLIGGACHICA 10/27/2010 7:26PM

    Whew, sometimes just a little journaling help me feel better too. emoticon

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My favorite place to grocery shop!!!!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I live in Dayton, OH which is about 45 minutes or so north of Cincinnati. Well, I consider myself really lucky because Cinci has a place called Jungle Jim's which is the best store ever! They have huge cheese, wine, dessert, meat and produce departments. Also, they have great selections of food from other countries. Well, I was on a quest for fresh figs. KARVY09 mentioned them a couple of weeks ago and TURBOGIRL mentioned them today. I've never had a fresh fig so wanted to check them out. Did Jungle Jim's have them?? Yes they did. I bought figs, dragon fruit, and lychees (a very nice little man peeled a lychee for me to try and it was so good!). I bought red chard and fresh beets. I will be in produce heaven for the next several days. I also picked up some lentil salad and chickpea salad and for dessert pumpkin pie hummus & cinnamon sugar pita chips...yum!!! I'm going to have to make the drive down there more often so I can try more great foods! Yay!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TURBO-GIRL 7/29/2010 1:05PM

    Oh my goodness....so many of my favorite foods! What a culinary treat. I absolutely adore fresh lychees but they are near-impossible to find. Kudos to you for picking up so many amazing (and healthy) items!

P.S. I want to hear more about this pumpkin pie hummus...that sounds a little odd, but pumpkin pie is one of my all-time favorites, so I'm intrigued...

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TEENY_BIKINI 7/28/2010 9:50PM


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MA9194 7/28/2010 8:32PM

    That sounds FABULOUS! I wish they had those in Denver! Whole Foods is as close as we get.

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Getting my

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I picked up the term "RAWR" from my best friend. When I think about it I picture someone who feels strong (mentally and physically), powerful, confident and not afraid of change. I had some "RAWR" for awhile but lately it's been lacking in my life. I am in the process of a divorce (I had no idea it would take so long) and I've been frustrated with the situation lately. I'm starting to feel powerless about what's going on. Today I had a stern talk with myself (no beating myself up, just putting the facts out there) and realized that I'm not powerless. I can help determine how this is going to go. I've been having a bit of a pity party the past couple of days...not exercising, sleeping a lot and not eating healthy. Well...that's done! It's time to pull on the big girl panties and get my RAWR up and running.

I have no reason to feel sorry for myself. I've got the best support system anyone could ask for. I've got a great family, great friends and sparkpeople. I've got the ability to improve my health and my life. So...here I go...again. This is "The year of Sarah" and I'm looking forward to it.

Watch out world...here I come :)


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHWILLDOTHIS 6/28/2010 7:50AM

    You got this Sarah! RAWRRRRRRR!

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MESEATURTLE 6/28/2010 1:30AM

    way to go!!!!

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/27/2010 10:41PM

    RAWR indeed. I am proud of you. Woot!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TURBO-GIRL 6/22/2010 8:31PM

    Way to keep your chin up! It can be good to let yourself have a "pity party" for a few days...allow yourself to get it out of your system...but now you are doing the right thing by shaking off the no-energy blahs and getting back out there!

RAWR! emoticon

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SUZIAND 6/22/2010 7:39PM

    Ahhhh....perfect blog. I completely understand, sister. And I'm right there with ya. I've been letting the "trash" in my life bury me. (A-hole boss, stupid guy friends, etc). I've got to find my big girl panties and put those babies back on, too!

We can do this, Sarah...I know we can!

Rawr, baby....rawr!!!

Suz : )

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A good trip to the grocery store!

Friday, June 11, 2010

I made a long overdue trip to the grocery store today. I took my time and tried to stick to the perimeter of the store (just like you're supposed to do) and ended up with some really good food. I was so proud of myself I just wanted to share.

OK...I couldn't get my pictures to load...grrr!!! So, I'll just tell you what I got: fresh pineapples, strawberries, asparagus, brocoli, salad in a bag (my goal is to eat this, I am horrible about buying them and not eating them), sliced fresh mushrooms, extra firm tofu, frozen tilapia, albacore tuna in water, water chestnuts, low sodium soy sauce and chocolate frozen yogurt.

I'm going to make a stir fry with the tofu, brocoli, mushrooms and water chestnuts...., looking forward to that!

I'm more excited about this healthy food than junk food...yay me :)

Have a good weekend everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TURBO-GIRL 6/16/2010 11:04PM

    Your grocery list sounds so much like mine! I'm such a fan of frozen tilapia. Do you get the kind where each piece is individually sealed so they don't get freezer-burned? It's actually very affordable, and I LOVE not worrying about wasting them if I don't eat them in time.

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INTOTHESOUTH 6/11/2010 6:12PM

    I'm horrible about the bagged salad mix as well. I've started adding up the money I am wasting when I have to throw it out. I also started sharing with a girl at work. We don't waste and we split the cost!

Enjoy your groceries!!

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/11/2010 2:24PM

    Sounds yummy-licious. I love pineapple.


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CAROLYN1213 6/11/2010 9:02AM

    mmmmm. . . that sounds delicious! Good job on the sticking to the perimeter!

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NBJAGGAL 6/11/2010 1:45AM

    my turn tomorrow..hope Ill be as good

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I am oh so smooth!!!!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Today my friend Sandy and I went shopping together. She is a very good friend and always makes me feel good about myself, we always have a lot of fun together. So, we start out shopping at the flea market. We went past a booth that sold hair extensions and the things that make your ponytail look fuller...all kinds of hair stuff. Well, I always wear my hair pulled back in a ponytail...it's just easier that way. I found a ponytail "booster" (not sure of the technical term) that matched my haircolor and decided to get it. It was only $15 bucks so I figured what the heck. The lady showed me how to put it on and I went ahead and left it in my hair...thinking I was looking pretty good :)

We left the flea market and headed to the mall. We were leaving Macy's and I felt something brush the back of my neck, I looked down and there was my hair on the floor. I tried really fast to pick it up and put it in one of my bags, ended up dropping the bag and guess what...the hair fell out of the bag. By that point I was laughing so hard I was almost in tears. My friend had just seen it happen out of the corner of her eye and wondered what had flown past my head...yep...it was my "hair".

I am such a dork...but I am entertaining to hang out with :). Have a good weekend everybody...hang onto your wigs :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBIEROB 6/7/2010 12:13PM

    That is funny! I am sure you will be laughing about that for years to come. emoticon

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CAROLYN1213 6/7/2010 10:47AM

    Dang! I really needed this laugh today!!! Thanks! I'm glad I didn't see this until today! I laughed so hard I cried! You are too funny!!! I did something similar with fake eyelashes one time. I thought I looked 'oh, so cute' and then I was sitting at a church dinner with a group of ladies and I batted my eyes and the lashes stuck to my cheek! LOL!!!

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TEENY_BIKINI 5/29/2010 10:17PM



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    hahahahahahaha only you Sarah!!! hahahahahaha

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NEWYEARME 5/22/2010 9:02PM

    How funny!!!!

Everybody needs a good laugh every once in a while!!!

Have a great weekend.


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