Sunday, December 29, 2013
I made it without sweets today. It has been hard. I felt so terrible this morning, mentally, but even worse, physically. I gagged myself all day long because my belly was suffering from yesterday LOL. Whew! The smell!!! My poor husband and kids! But, I have been able to resist temptation today and plan for this to be day 1 of a new no sweets streak.
Yesterday, I lost control early on in the day. By evening, after a phone conversation with someone I love very much and who is an important part of my life, I felt defeated, which added to my self-pity and misery. This person is one of those people I do not ever feel I can please and like nothing is ever good enough. I was upset for even calling the person then upset for berating myself for over 40 years of feeling like a failure to them, knowing what I think is what matters the most. Also, knowing they do not mean to make me feel that way and only mean well. I am responsible for own feelings, after all. Anyway, I am fine today. Yesterday was a good lesson for me and as it turns out, I am glad it happened. One step back, but two forward :)