Monday, July 27, 2009
I shared a SparkMail with a friend today that caused me to voice something I've thought about often. You ever meet someone and bond with them instantly? They just seem to GET you and you GET them. It feels like you're both in the same stream, the same current, going in the same direction, at the same pace, maybe a few rocks jutting out there and there, but no real resistance, just a wonderful, refreshing flow. There are other times when you meet someone and they puzzle you. They seem foreign or alien even. It's impossible for you to understand what they're doing, what their purpose is, why they're doing what they're doing. You just don't GET them at all. I don't think that is some cosmic booboo. I think there are divine appointments in our lives, relationships that, once formed, are mightily productive with eternal purpose. They're life affirming, life changing, life giving. It's a relief to know I'm not meant to bond with every single person I meet. For those that I just don't get and those that just don't get me, it's okay to appreciate one another and respect one another and rejoice when they find others who DO get them, who move on their same current, in their same direction. Isn't that a tremendous relief?! What blessed rest we have in the Lord. Our comfort was very important to our Beloved, so important that He sent us the Comforter. The Holy Spirit's promise to lead us and guide us will never, ever fail us.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
We had a lovely time with family and friends for my youngest's 12th birthday. My ex gave her an acoustic guitar and we've got the first two months of guitar lessons lined up for her. She seemed very happy with her gifts. I was careful to get all of my fruits and vegetables in before the festivities and had reserved enough values to have one cup of my homemade chili. That was a rare treat for me! Our houseguest, Katy (30 and daughter of one of my dearest friends who now lives in Arizona) made a beautiful cake that looked like a guitar for her. For those of you who saw my oldest's, Michelle's 20th birthday photos in my gallery at www.nolady.net, Katy made the pirate's treasure chest cake, too. Such a creative young woman! I'm such a word person. My brain just doesn't work in artistic ways like that. What a gift that is! I'm disappointed that there was no time for a walk today but I won't beat myself up for that. Tomorrow is another day. We're planning to take Melanie to the movies to see G-Force. I don't often go to the movies and haven't been since before my accident. I'm looking forward to it! Gonna have to stuff my fruit and veggies into my purse so that the popcorn smell doesn't do a siren's call to me while I'm there!!
Oh, we made a separate cake for me with a box cake mix, 10 ounces of a diet orange soda, and one serving of egg substitute, baked according to package directions. The only calories and fat in it are what's in the dry mix and egg substitute. For 180 calories and 3 grams of fat, I got to have birthday cake!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Many of my SparkFriends have encouraged me to share the story of my injury. If even one person is able to avoid a needless injury because of my foolish mistakes, it will be worth the telling.
In late February of this year something in me snapped. Something changed. I knew my days of being overweight and unhealthy were over. Oh, I was just as fat and uncomfortable on the outside, of course. On the inside, though, where it mattered, God was making all things new, and a determination was born. I sought medical advice and decided what my caloric and fat intake would be each day and purposed in my heart that not one day of the rest of my life would go by without me exercising. My day to begin was February 28th, the start of a new season of my life. I had no idea how right I was!
Iíd logged every bite of food and cup of water Iíd consumed that day, for the first time in my life. That night just before ten oíclock I got a shower and put on my nightshirt and PANICKED! I realized I had not exercised!! How quickly my resolve got lost in the rubble of a lifetime of poor fitness habits! I rushed to the treadmill in the dark living room and hopped on that treadmill with fierce determination. I felt SO good about my determination that I decided I could do a bit more and pressed the control panel to up my speed a tenth of a mile.
I broke all the rules. One: I got on a treadmill barefoot. Two: I used a treadmill in a dark room. Three: Instead of clipping the safety magnetic key to my nightshirt, I had it wound around the bar (so my kids wouldnít misplace it). Three strikes and youíre outÖ or at least out a little toe.
When I hit the control panel, instead of upping the speed by a tenth of a mile per hour, the speed went up to ten miles per hour. It threw me to the belt, elbows and knees. My left foot must have curled under the belt just so, and my little toe was severed, clear through the bone. In retrospect, I am extremely fortunate no more damage was done, and for that I am most grateful.
They sewed me back together in the ER that night, after a not fun ambulance ride, and sent me home to see if the toe would regain circulation. I laid flat on my back with my foot on a stack of pillows. Ten pain filled days later, the toe and a little chunk of my foot were amputated. Nearly five months of wound care and a great deal of pain followed, the lionís share of it daily wound care, weekends, holidays, every single day. The original wound site was 4.7 cm square. It is nothing short of miraculous the way new skin formed where there was only a hunk of raw meat. The scrubbing and scraping and trimming and squeezing and picking and poking I would not wish on anyone, for any reason, ever.
Thank God for friends and family! My husband is a boat captain out in the Gulf of Mexico and works out at sea 28 days and is then home 14 days. He had been gone only two days when I had my mishap. Two of our kids are still home (16 and 11 at the time) and were in school. One precious friend transported my youngest to and from school every week day, got my kids to and from church on Wednesday and Sunday, took me to wound care daily, took me to doctors on a regular basis, attended to groceries, drug store, banking, post office, etc., for me. Other friends rushed in to help fill in the gap on the few occasions when my angel of mercy had other obligations. In the early days, when I was bedridden and on much pain medication, friends rallied around my kids, helped keep my home in order, encouraged me, prayed over me, held my hand as I suffered. I donít think I could have survived the ordeal without them.
Iíve been released from wound care and hope to be released by the surgeon next week. I now wear my own shoe (only part of the time, though, since the shoe tore the new, fragile skin off the last part of the wound to heal). I can drive short distances now. I can shower now!!! Iím still in a recliner at my desk built into our kitchen/dining area. I tried to return to my office chair but it was too soon and my foot got swollen and angry. Iíll try again next week to see how it does then.
I was not to be deterred from my goals, even though I could barely hobble to the bathroom on crutches, with an orthopedic boot on my foot around the clock, even in sleep. Exercise was out of the question. Each evening I would write out a menu each night and our son would fill a cake pan with my cereal and milk measured out, my fruit and vegetables cut up and measured out for me in plastic bags or containers, a chicken or turkey sandwich on multigrain bread, and four bottles of water. Before leaving for school, heíd take the pan out the fridge and leave it on my dresser, within reach. Thankfully, Iíve taught him to cook and heís a natural in the kitchen. He made all our meals for us. What a Godsend! He painstakingly measured everything for me, every single half-teaspoon, and I wrote it all down.
After the worst was over, after the amputation, when I was able to sit up some, my angel of mercy took her truck to the store and picked up a recliner Iíd chosen, and she and our son parked that puppy right next to our dinner table. Oh, boy, is it cramped in here! That enabled me to reconnect with the world at my computer and to work a bit when I felt up to it. (Iím a transcriptionist, primarily for court reporters.) It was my first opportunity to search for healthy recipes, and one of the first Google hits I got was a chicken recipe located on SparkPeople. At that moment, life got much, MUCH sweeter for me!
I discovered a brand new world. (I realize that if youíre reading this SparkPeople blog, you already know the deepest meaning of that because your life has been changed, too!) I honed my new practice of tracking food. In time, as I was able to walk a bit, I would track my walking, as pitifully little as it was. I joined SparkTeams and met the most incredibly wonderful, encouraging, inspirational SparkFriends who have motivated me, comforted me, directed me, challenged me.
Would I have ended up here without having lost my toe? Who knows? All I know is that I am grateful that I am here now, at this point 55 pounds lighter (with a whole lot more to lose), me and all nine of my toes!
P.S. My treadmill has been adopted by my 34 year old nephew, who has now lost 30 pounds. I gave it to him with the stern warning: BE CAREFUL. It BITES!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
As the stuff of life occurs, broken attic steps, running water not running, a child leaving from under my wing to go to camp, a computer breaking, a program not operating, a child in crisis, a toe severed, bills that must be paid, uncertainties on several fronts, unforeseen pain, decisions about what to cook and how to fit in fitness... SO many things... as they occur, I am reminded that there is nothing in my life, not one tiny or mammoth thing that God does not desire to touch. His arm is not short that He cannot reach, and He reaches out to me in every single event of life, every single moment of every single day. How can I make a step on my own, without reaching for His hand? I can't. Not even if something crazy in me wanted to do so. He is my EVER present help and he EVER lives to make intercession for me. Each step, each breath has His unmistakable touch upon it. It's up to me to acknowledge Him in ALL my ways, withholding nothing, totally surrendered.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I've had computer issues all evening and couldn't even reboot for a long while. Now, all of a sudden, the program that reads my files for work tells me my files are corrupt. This makes no sense whatsoever. It was working one minute and the next it was not. I am grateful that the computer is working again, at least, though something is still wonky with it. I may have to take it in for a check up tomorrow. I am praying for my computer and my work program! God cares even about such things, I know. Everything that concerns me touches His heart. I'm off to bed and I will not fret. I will REJOICE!!
P.S. The scale MOVED again! *happydance*
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