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Humor for Lexophiles (lovers of words)

Sunday, June 20, 2010




Thanks to my friend, Lorellei, for sharing this one with me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
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The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
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To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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When fish are in school they sometimes take debate.
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The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
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A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
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Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
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When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
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If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
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A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
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A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
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You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
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A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
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When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
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Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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Acupuncture: a jab well done.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DRAMAQUEEN1913 7/13/2010 5:27AM

    There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.


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I never knew there was an actual word for my affliction.... ;-)

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JUNEBUG4967 7/1/2010 1:48PM

    Thanks for the laugh
Gloria

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2BHLTHY4LIFE 6/28/2010 2:14PM

    Hi Missy! Thankyou for sharing this,really enjoyed reading and rereading these.I always enjoy a chuckle at least once a day. One down! Have a happy humorous Monday! emoticonand smiles,Diana emoticon

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MOMSUE1 6/27/2010 11:43AM

    Thanks for the great laugh you gave me while reading these.

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SHELLB39 6/26/2010 9:36AM

    Thanks for these...a good laugh does a heart wonders!

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BOBBIENORTHERN 6/22/2010 10:43AM

    I love a good laugh. Great words, have a great and an enjoyable day yourself. It is good to laugh, it is like medicine for the spirit. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IMAVISION 6/21/2010 1:01PM

    I enjoyed these! Thank you, Missy!

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LOVESLILACS1 6/21/2010 12:21PM

    Thanks for another chuckle!

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ANGELCOWBOY1 6/20/2010 11:18PM

    Thanks for the laugh!

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PEPPERLEAH 6/20/2010 10:13PM

    Too cute! And I think many of us can relate to the gray hair... i think we ALL want to dye! LOL

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3CATSLEP 6/20/2010 5:44PM

    He-he! Ha-ha! How about the old song about the States:

What did Delaware boys, what did Delaware? She wore her New Jersey!

What did Idaho boys, what did Idaho? She hoed her Maryland!

What did Tennessee boys, what did Tennessee? He saw what Arkansas!

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REJ7777 6/20/2010 5:36PM

    emoticon emoticon Thanks for the laugh! emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/20/2010 5:37:42 PM

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TINKERBELL200 6/20/2010 5:28PM

    Very entertaining twist on words! When I saw my gray hair I dyed it too! LOL!
Thank you for sharing Missy! emoticon
emoticon
Lynne

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CAWESTY 6/20/2010 4:29PM

    Fun with words! Thanks!!

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LJCANNON 6/20/2010 4:23PM

    This was very funny. I will have to pass it on. It is too good not to share.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 6/20/2010 4:17PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MYRTLEBEACHWINS 6/20/2010 4:02PM

    Those were great, I love to laugh. Glad you shared!

emoticon emoticon emoticon
Turn up that music and dance with life.

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Aerobics

Saturday, June 19, 2010

My friend, MaryW, shared this on FaceBook. I had to pass it along! Thanks, Mary! (By the way, if you have FB, please add me!)

The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it "jumping up and down. -- Rita Rudner

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJS-DEBBIE 6/27/2010 6:59AM

    I'd love to find you on FB - my email there is scotto.email@comcast.net.

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 6/26/2010 6:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PEPPERLEAH 6/20/2010 10:10PM

    emoticon

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MAKELE 6/20/2010 2:18PM

    Tee hee hee!

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SVELTEWARRIOR 6/19/2010 11:38PM

    emoticon Thank you

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ANGELCOWBOY1 6/19/2010 10:16PM

    Cute!

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TRAVELNISTA 6/19/2010 9:38PM

    emoticon

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MARYANNSQUEST 6/19/2010 6:39PM

    emoticon Very Cute and Funny! emoticon

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WINNIEATWELL2 6/19/2010 6:35PM

    emoticon Ah ha...that's how it came be called aerobics... emoticon

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SONGOFJOY27 6/19/2010 3:18PM

    Thanks for the laugh!

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IUHRYTR 6/19/2010 3:13PM

    emoticon That's terrific marketing! -- Lou

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New In Town

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My need for the good medicine of laughter must not be quenched just yet. My friend, Perry, sent this to me today and I thought it was worth sharing!

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, Can You tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYANNSQUEST 6/19/2010 6:42PM

    Adorable! emoticon

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LOVESLILACS1 6/18/2010 10:13AM

    I love your sense of humor!

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ROZEEROZ1 6/17/2010 10:29PM

    cute

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PEPPERLEAH 6/17/2010 10:02PM

    Kids.....you just never know what they will come up with! emoticon

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HAPPYWRITER7 6/17/2010 9:48PM

    hehe, thats cute!

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IUHRYTR 6/17/2010 8:27PM

    Out of the mouth of babes emoticon. -- Lou

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TINKERBELL200 6/17/2010 6:16PM

    That's adorable! I also needed a good laugh!
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Lynne

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SUSIEPH1 6/17/2010 6:11PM

    Thank you Missy for putting a smile on my face! emoticon

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SISTERDEAR 6/17/2010 5:59PM

    Kids tell it like they see it. LOL. emoticon

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PARAEAST 6/17/2010 5:56PM

    Cute got to laugh on that one!

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FRAN0426 6/17/2010 4:44PM

    CUTE

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SMALLONEDAY 6/17/2010 4:08PM

    thats a cute one

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JANETELIZABETH1 6/17/2010 3:44PM

    Very funny Missy!!LOL!!

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BKWHITE3 6/17/2010 3:42PM

    emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 6/17/2010 2:51PM

    emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 6/17/2010 2:44PM

    Ha! That's great! emoticon

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XNANNY 6/17/2010 2:40PM

    Good one!!! emoticon

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Tellin' the Truth

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My friend, GamblerSC, sent this to me. I must still be in need of the laughter that is good medicine!

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

Guess where I am now...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 6/26/2010 11:33PM

    Ken is still laughing as am I!!! Thank you for sharing...
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Missy, I think you have a tiny bit of emoticonin you!!! emoticon


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SJG1953 6/18/2010 3:15AM

    So cute and funny!! I liked it very much.

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ANGELCOWBOY1 6/16/2010 10:37PM

    Thank you for sharing - I had a good laugh over this.

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FLEUR_DE_LUNE 6/16/2010 5:40PM

  Very funny! I liked your husband's comment about veggies.

Comment edited on: 6/16/2010 5:46:42 PM

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2BHLTHY4LIFE 6/16/2010 1:10PM

    I am still chuckling away at this Missy! emoticonYou get the award for best blog of the day. emoticon emoticon emoticonfor sharing and providing us an emoticonlaugh! Have a wonderful glorious Wednesday! emoticonDiana emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/16/2010 1:12:12 PM

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MT-MOONCHASER 6/15/2010 9:52PM

    It's great, but I think I appreciate Black an Gus more...
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We're getting a thunderstorm here now with more rain, hopefully no hail...
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SVELTEWARRIOR 6/15/2010 9:24PM

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was without a doubt the funniest blog yet!!! thank you for sharing!!! emoticon

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SECRETMUSIC 6/15/2010 8:37PM

    I don't laugh out loud very often, but....... emoticon

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PEPPERLEAH 6/15/2010 8:04PM

    Oh Missy, that is hilarious! Thank you so much for sharing the laughter with us! It sertainly IS good medicine! Uhm....that is, next to chicken soup? LOL Sorry.......couldn't resist that one!

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TINKERBELL200 6/15/2010 7:59PM

    So cute, I love it! I sure needed a laugh! Thanks Missy!
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Lynne

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SCORPION1352 6/15/2010 6:49PM

    That is funnest thing I have read in a long time.

My entire family son and family DGD and friend all are on the floor rolling. Sonny is going to pass that one along to the guys at work.

Thanks for sharing

Hugs to you
Marty

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MOMFAN 6/15/2010 6:46PM

    You must like the principles office!

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SUSIEPH1 6/15/2010 6:24PM

    Very Funny!
Love your sense of humour Missy.
Take care my Friend ..Love Susie and Bobby emoticon

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CAPTAINCOOKIE 6/15/2010 5:15PM

    That's my politically incorrect hunny. VEGGIES have feelings too emoticon

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FRAN0426 6/15/2010 5:03PM

    So cute, thanks for the laugh

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MAGNIFICENTMAGG 6/15/2010 5:00PM

    emoticonI was in wal mart earlier today. they had just put out some freshly fried chicken. I have to admit I stood over the chicken a little longer than necessary to make sure it was not rotisserie chicken.lol I escaped with only a few grease fumes lingering around me. No fried chicken were put in the buggy while writing this response because dd said no.

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LIGHTHEART09 6/15/2010 4:54PM

    cute...sounds like my kids...2 more get ups till summer vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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WINNIEATWELL2 6/15/2010 4:25PM

    emoticon Very funny... emoticon emoticon

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DYNAMICDEB53 6/15/2010 4:12PM

    emoticon

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SONGOFJOY27 6/15/2010 3:04PM

    Thank you for the chuckle!

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PATRISNA 6/15/2010 3:04PM

    emoticon

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CLAIRESML 6/15/2010 2:56PM

    very funny. thanks for the smile

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JANETELIZABETH1 6/15/2010 2:51PM

    Thanks Missy...LOL!!

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IUHRYTR 6/15/2010 2:46PM

    Some people have no sense of humor, even in a joke. But I do emoticon. -- Lou

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 6/15/2010 2:28PM

    ROFL! Good one!

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GOSPELCLOWN 6/15/2010 2:28PM

    I only eat animals that eat veggies!!!

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THEBOOKBINDER 6/15/2010 2:27PM

    I so needed that thank you.

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THEBOOKBINDER 6/15/2010 2:27PM

    I so needed that thank you.

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-POOKIE- 6/15/2010 2:15PM

    P-eople
E-eating
T-asty
A- nimals

*laughs*

Comment edited on: 6/15/2010 2:20:58 PM

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How to tell when your anchorman is city folk

Sunday, June 06, 2010


I am admittedly a city girl. I've never had a garden. I've never raised livestock. I can so relate to this guy. LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOSPELCLOWN 6/15/2010 2:36PM

    I watched this twice and laughed just as hard!!

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BIGDAD1211 6/13/2010 11:15PM

    LOL! Oh my goodness! That was great! Thanks for the laugh sweetie!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOOSSIT2MOVE 6/10/2010 11:30AM

    LOL - that was great!!!! Thanks for the laugh emoticon

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THEBOOKBINDER 6/8/2010 11:23AM

    Too funny

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MEWAJES 6/7/2010 1:39PM

    that is funny!! Black an Gus. Gus is a good name for a cow /bull though. I would be running too if the plan they have for me is emoticon

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CAPTAINCOOKIE 6/7/2010 1:34PM

    I'll light the grill.....You grab Gus

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LIGHTHEART09 6/7/2010 1:15PM

    Cute....got to see my little man yesterday...he is so wonderful cooing to me...of course Nana GG was over the moon!!!
How are you doing?
Nan

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ANGELA_37 6/7/2010 1:03PM

    LOLOLOL....Haven't laughed like that since your last blog! Your sense of humor is awesome!!

emoticon emoticon

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BKWHITE3 6/7/2010 10:50AM

    emoticon priceless

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SMALLONEDAY 6/7/2010 10:45AM

    just to funny thanks for sharing would love the link t this so i can show my husband.

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FRAN0426 6/7/2010 12:00AM

    Hilarios thanks for sharing, had a good chuckle.

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MAGNIFICENTMAGG 6/6/2010 11:28PM

    loved it!

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MRSJARI 6/6/2010 11:25PM

    I don't have sound!!!! I need to check it out on another computer emoticon

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WALKINGDAVE 6/6/2010 10:41PM

    that is hilarious, thanks for the great chuckle emoticon

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SIGLED 6/6/2010 10:32PM

    That is hilarious! Yes, I too, can relate.

Ba-Dee! Ba-Dee! Ba-Dee! Ba-Dee! That's all folks! emoticon

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PEPPERLEAH 6/6/2010 10:26PM

    LOL That is sooooo funny! Thanks for the laugh!

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MOMFAN 6/6/2010 10:11PM

    My mom and dad are here and we got a great chuckle! We actually had a few Black Angus.

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DJS-DEBBIE 6/6/2010 9:21PM

    That was priceless!
emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 6/6/2010 9:02PM

    THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for the laugh!!!

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ANGELCOWBOY1 6/6/2010 8:26PM

    Way too funny! Thanks for sharing!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 6/6/2010 7:32PM

    OH! You have BOTH Drex and I cracking up! THAT was FUNNY! Thanks for sharing! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BRENDASTARR2 6/6/2010 7:15PM

    That was wonderful. Here in Texas we have alot of black angus and alot of new transplants that say "black an Gus"

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SUSIEPH1 6/6/2010 6:45PM

    So Funny! Thanks for Sharing Missy emoticon emoticon

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DINGALLSTOO 6/6/2010 6:33PM

    LOVE IT!!!!! Thanks for a great laugh

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CHRISTURTLE 6/6/2010 5:49PM

    I've watched it twice, made a mug of peppermint tea and am still laughing. Thank you so much for starting my very cold morning off with a laugh! That poor guy is never gonna be able to live that down is he? Haha, two cows, Black and Gus!Very feminine names for 'cows' too, maybe Daisy and Mabel would have been more appropriate, but then I've never heard of a breed of cattle named Daisy Mabels either. Hysterical. I so wish there was a cow or even a bull emoticon so I could have added it here. emoticon

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3CATSLEP 6/6/2010 4:55PM

    That was great!!! emoticon

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PATRISNA 6/6/2010 4:51PM

    Thanks for another good belly laugh Missy. BTY the sisters and DH loved the Joe Cocker lyrics video. LOL

I'll have to share this with my cattle raising Sparkbuddy.

emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/6/2010 4:52:56 PM

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 6/6/2010 3:56PM

    too funny! Love ya, Dawn

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SONGOFJOY27 6/6/2010 3:37PM

    What a hoot! Thanks for sharing!
emoticon
Carol

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RONIE11 6/6/2010 3:32PM

    That was great... thanks for sharing..

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MT-MOONCHASER 6/6/2010 3:21PM

    Well at least the other guy had a clue!!
emoticon

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THEADMIRAL 6/6/2010 3:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon First, I love that I find out the latest news in my neck of the woods from your blog! Two, I'm a city girl too and wouldn't have caught on about the Black and Gus if the other commentator hadn't suggested Black Angus! emoticon Love it, love it, love it!

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LEAKAY59 6/6/2010 2:38PM

    OMG! I am still wiping the tears from my eyes! I'm a townie, but I do shop, so Black Angus is familiar to me, even though I never saw one myself. Where is this guy from, Mars? emoticon

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JEAN_1960 6/6/2010 2:22PM

    emoticonThis made me cry. #:^ )

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SECRETMUSIC 6/6/2010 2:15PM

    Hilarious! We live in angus country, so I'll be sharing this with a few friends. And I almost never share stuff...so you know it's good! Thanks for the giggle!

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TINKERBELL200 6/6/2010 2:14PM

    Very cute Missy! I loved it! Black and Gus! emoticon How silly!!!

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IUHRYTR 6/6/2010 1:59PM

    I'm glad I didn't write that news report for him. Embarrassing but funny. emoticon -- Lou

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14JESUSGIRL 6/6/2010 1:59PM

    "Moo" funny! I'm from the country!
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