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I see the patterns starting all over today

Friday, February 22, 2013

We went out to pizza today for lunch. I see myself starting to falter, going back to my old habits and I lack the motivation to do anything about it. I'm torn right down the middle. Part of me wants to lose weight, wants to be happy and have more energy. The other part of me, just wants to enjoy the oreos and milk.

I'm really going to take a focus this week on the things i do really want. I'm going to think about goals I want, where I see my life headed, things I want to accomplish. I probably won't write again until Sunday or Monday but I'm going to spend tomorrow thinking.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYLLYNNE 2/23/2013 9:21AM

    Hang in there! It's so hard, I know, but just the fact that you are starting to understand yourself is the first step! I'm rooting for you!

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RUNNING-TURTLE 2/22/2013 8:57PM

    emoticon Sweets in moderation is key. I have sweets several times a week, but I factor it into what I have for the day and make sure I eat fruits and vegetables plenty too.

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    For me I had to take the focus off weight loss!

My goal now is to live a healthy lifestyle.

Start small. Give yourself one or two goals that are do-able...so you can have some early successes. Then build on that.

It could be something simple like eating two servings of fruit a day for a week. Or switching to brown rice for a month.

For me exercise is what I hate--so my goal was 10 minutes of cardio 4-5 days a week. I'm now up to 45 minutes...but I took ti slow. emoticon

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A little thing I noticed today

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Food is my guilty pleasure. My husband and I have always been people who enjoy going out to eat. I work 12 hour days, 3 days a week so I never want to come home and cook. He does not enjoy cooking so for our entire marriage, a quick trip to McDonalds or an indulgent trip to Olive Garden have never been a big deal.

Today, we woke up late and missed breakfast. We decided to go to Olive Garden. When I've gone to Olive Garden in the past, I've had at least 6 maybe 7 or 8 breadsticks, the whole bowl of salad and almost all of my stuffed chicken Marsala. Today, I had 3 breadsticks, a small bowl of salad and exactly half of my stuffed chicken. Do you know why? It wasn't willpower. I was full.

In just the last week and a half that I have really started to watch the food going in, I have really noticed there is a decrease in the amount going in. We do not just run to McDonalds any more. I have to look up the menu, check calories then decided it's easier to just stay at home.

I think the most proud moment I had all day was at the end of our lunch, I handed my mint over to Mike. i know the small mint would have done nothing the three breadsticks hadn't already accomplished, but I was full. It is one of my goals to just say no when I'm full. I can eat leftovers, I can leave food on my plate. I do not have to finish a full 12 inch plate. I will not win an award for doing so.

Lots of shopping planned for tomorrow. I have a little goal in mind right now. My husband and I are headed to Sakura Con at the end of march and I have my senior year prom dress that is too tight that i want to be able to wear for the Masquerade ball. I tried it on yesterday and it's really tight in the chest and stomach area but I think if I really focus down I can maybe lose the inches I need.

oh! Another nice thing happened today. My dog Bailey wanted me to tell everyone that I took him for a walk today. we haven't been on a walk together in over a year because I've been too lazy and unmotivated. I started counting my steps and now I'm going to do an excel spreadsheet of all the steps I take each day. Hopefully each day, the total will keep going higher and higher.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHEMARIE 2/22/2013 5:40PM

    Yes!! This is great news! It's the little things day by day that make the difference.

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MICHELELYNN777 2/22/2013 9:14AM

    Thanks for sharing your success! Glad you and your doggie got to have a walk, too. Keep going strong!
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RUNNING-TURTLE 2/22/2013 8:59AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Making Choices

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I learned a valuable lesson today that I do not think I learned in the past.

People are going to slip up. I'm going to slip up. What I have done before when trying to lose weight, I've gotten mad and even beaten myself up. Today I did not do that. This morning I had left over goulash for breakfast. I decided to get some ritz crackers with it as well. Well I ended up eating a whole row of Ritz crackers. Instead of beating myself up, I ate the crackers then thought about it. It was my decision to eat that many. they did not jump into my mouth. I can't let myself be negative and make myself feel worse about decisions I make. When I do that, I end up feeling guilty - then feel sad - then eat more. It's a horrible cycle. No more.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYLLYNNE 2/22/2013 9:02AM

    It's so important to know what are triggers are and not to beat ourselves up when we fall down. Just pick ourselves up, dust off and keep going!!

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MICHELELYNN777 2/21/2013 7:03PM

    You are right! This has been one of the biggest changes for me over the last year~if I have a binge or splurge on completely unhealthy things, I own it and move on. I don't use it as an excuse to keep overeating, but I know it's just one moment or one meal and the next time is my opportunity to get right back on track.
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THE_SHAKESHAFT 2/21/2013 1:15AM

    The sooner we learn this the sooner we can get past it. Be strong and keep up the excellent work.

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Day 3 - My weekend is about to start!!! Oh NO!!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Well the scale didn't error me this morning. It looked up at me and said, congratulations. You're at 382.2. I am down 1.8 pounds since Thursday. I am going to not worry about weighing myself again until next Monday but it's nice to know something is changing. Almost six months ago I entered a weight loss competition at work. I switched away from regular soda, starting watching my calories and would just eat kettle corn at my desk because of the low calories and fullness factor. I got my weight down to 369 at that time. I was so amazed. Right now I'm just happy I took control before I hit the 400 mark again. That's one number I never plan to see again.

I did some interesting things today. I found some cute little motivational pictures and put them up on Walgreens to turn them into a collage. I made an 8x10 and a 4x6. I'm going to put the 4x6 up in my car so when I head places I will always see what I'm working for. And I'm going to put one up at home for motivation while I am there.

I spent today looking at all kinds of different recipes so tomorrow after Texas Roadhouse, I think hubby and I will be heading to Wal Mart and maybe Whole Foods to get ingredients for all my new recipes to try over the weekend. I'm off on Thursday-Saturday. This way we can figure out what we like, don't like.

I'm nervous about my weekend, because we tend to go out to eat a lot but I am going to work really hard to make sure it does not happen. I also plan to start taking my dog Bailey for a walk. Right now he just runs in the back yard when he wants exercise and that is not fair to either one of us. I also have hundreds of pedometers laying around. It's time to strap one of those on now, or find an app on my phone.

I have lots of things to think about this weekend. One of my goals is to make sure to update my blog daily. I think by taking the time to write out what's going in my head, it helps me to really think about what I'm going to do. For example, if I want to eat an ice cream cone, I'll have to tell you guys about it. Is it worth it to admit to you that I've slipped up? It is not. Instead I'll have a lower calorie ice cream and brag about how I've been meeting my calories every day!

Thank you to everyone who keeps responding. I love how active everyone is on this site.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_SHAKESHAFT 2/20/2013 3:03PM

    Good luck on your journey!! emoticon

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MICHELELYNN777 2/20/2013 1:07PM

    I love how you are really thinking things out and making a plan. That has always been good for me (even when I don't stick to the plan 100%). It's having the goal to strive for and the accountability. I think a lot of people use blogging to stay focused and it also becomes a record of your weight loss journey. My hubby loves going out to eat and it is one of my biggest struggles, so I can relate to your dilemma. I have started cooking at home a lot more and it makes it so much easier for tracking since I know exactly what I'm eating. You are right~Sparkpeople is a great resource for ideas and support!
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ERICADAWN1986 2/19/2013 8:16PM

    Your goals sound awesome! Going out to eat was such a downfall of mine (and still can be sometimes). I always (when available) go online and view the menu/ nutrition facts available before I go to a restaurant. I even keep a few of the fast food place's menus in my glove box so if I must go, I can choose the best option and be mindful. emoticon

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Day 2

Monday, February 18, 2013

I went to weigh myself this morning and the scale said Error. I know it's because I was rushing around, trying to get a lot of stuff done before I headed to work but every time my scale errors it makes me a little sad. The sane side of me knows I have not gained more than 16 pounds in 2 days, but the emotional girly side of me gets upset and hurt by a little electronic device.

I will try again this evening. And I will keep trying until I do not get an error message. I'm really focused on losing the next 34 pounds. A lot changes for me when I hit 350 pounds. At 350 pounds, I can use my husband's bike. At 350 pounds, I can use my WII Fit that I purchased almost 4 years ago that I have never gotten to play. At 350 pounds, well honestly, I can be at 350 pounds. I haven't been there in a long time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_SHAKESHAFT 2/19/2013 1:17AM

    Try not to weigh yourself every day. Once or twice a week is better :)

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CHLOEAGH 2/18/2013 2:27PM

    Good luck and try not to get too discouraged! emoticon

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INSPIRATIONAL3 2/18/2013 2:26PM


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JERZGURL_NAN 2/18/2013 2:25PM

    what exciting things t look forward to!! good goals. Love my bike and would love to have a Wii but don't think that is going t o happen for us. It's okay - but it would be fun and convenient.

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