Friday, February 22, 2013
We went out to pizza today for lunch. I see myself starting to falter, going back to my old habits and I lack the motivation to do anything about it. I'm torn right down the middle. Part of me wants to lose weight, wants to be happy and have more energy. The other part of me, just wants to enjoy the oreos and milk.
I'm really going to take a focus this week on the things i do really want. I'm going to think about goals I want, where I see my life headed, things I want to accomplish. I probably won't write again until Sunday or Monday but I'm going to spend tomorrow thinking.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Food is my guilty pleasure. My husband and I have always been people who enjoy going out to eat. I work 12 hour days, 3 days a week so I never want to come home and cook. He does not enjoy cooking so for our entire marriage, a quick trip to McDonalds or an indulgent trip to Olive Garden have never been a big deal.
Today, we woke up late and missed breakfast. We decided to go to Olive Garden. When I've gone to Olive Garden in the past, I've had at least 6 maybe 7 or 8 breadsticks, the whole bowl of salad and almost all of my stuffed chicken Marsala. Today, I had 3 breadsticks, a small bowl of salad and exactly half of my stuffed chicken. Do you know why? It wasn't willpower. I was full.
In just the last week and a half that I have really started to watch the food going in, I have really noticed there is a decrease in the amount going in. We do not just run to McDonalds any more. I have to look up the menu, check calories then decided it's easier to just stay at home.
I think the most proud moment I had all day was at the end of our lunch, I handed my mint over to Mike. i know the small mint would have done nothing the three breadsticks hadn't already accomplished, but I was full. It is one of my goals to just say no when I'm full. I can eat leftovers, I can leave food on my plate. I do not have to finish a full 12 inch plate. I will not win an award for doing so.
Lots of shopping planned for tomorrow. I have a little goal in mind right now. My husband and I are headed to Sakura Con at the end of march and I have my senior year prom dress that is too tight that i want to be able to wear for the Masquerade ball. I tried it on yesterday and it's really tight in the chest and stomach area but I think if I really focus down I can maybe lose the inches I need.
oh! Another nice thing happened today. My dog Bailey wanted me to tell everyone that I took him for a walk today. we haven't been on a walk together in over a year because I've been too lazy and unmotivated. I started counting my steps and now I'm going to do an excel spreadsheet of all the steps I take each day. Hopefully each day, the total will keep going higher and higher.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I learned a valuable lesson today that I do not think I learned in the past.
People are going to slip up. I'm going to slip up. What I have done before when trying to lose weight, I've gotten mad and even beaten myself up. Today I did not do that. This morning I had left over goulash for breakfast. I decided to get some ritz crackers with it as well. Well I ended up eating a whole row of Ritz crackers. Instead of beating myself up, I ate the crackers then thought about it. It was my decision to eat that many. they did not jump into my mouth. I can't let myself be negative and make myself feel worse about decisions I make. When I do that, I end up feeling guilty - then feel sad - then eat more. It's a horrible cycle. No more.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Well the scale didn't error me this morning. It looked up at me and said, congratulations. You're at 382.2. I am down 1.8 pounds since Thursday. I am going to not worry about weighing myself again until next Monday but it's nice to know something is changing. Almost six months ago I entered a weight loss competition at work. I switched away from regular soda, starting watching my calories and would just eat kettle corn at my desk because of the low calories and fullness factor. I got my weight down to 369 at that time. I was so amazed. Right now I'm just happy I took control before I hit the 400 mark again. That's one number I never plan to see again.
I did some interesting things today. I found some cute little motivational pictures and put them up on Walgreens to turn them into a collage. I made an 8x10 and a 4x6. I'm going to put the 4x6 up in my car so when I head places I will always see what I'm working for. And I'm going to put one up at home for motivation while I am there.
I spent today looking at all kinds of different recipes so tomorrow after Texas Roadhouse, I think hubby and I will be heading to Wal Mart and maybe Whole Foods to get ingredients for all my new recipes to try over the weekend. I'm off on Thursday-Saturday. This way we can figure out what we like, don't like.
I'm nervous about my weekend, because we tend to go out to eat a lot but I am going to work really hard to make sure it does not happen. I also plan to start taking my dog Bailey for a walk. Right now he just runs in the back yard when he wants exercise and that is not fair to either one of us. I also have hundreds of pedometers laying around. It's time to strap one of those on now, or find an app on my phone.
I have lots of things to think about this weekend. One of my goals is to make sure to update my blog daily. I think by taking the time to write out what's going in my head, it helps me to really think about what I'm going to do. For example, if I want to eat an ice cream cone, I'll have to tell you guys about it. Is it worth it to admit to you that I've slipped up? It is not. Instead I'll have a lower calorie ice cream and brag about how I've been meeting my calories every day!
Thank you to everyone who keeps responding. I love how active everyone is on this site.
Monday, February 18, 2013
I went to weigh myself this morning and the scale said Error. I know it's because I was rushing around, trying to get a lot of stuff done before I headed to work but every time my scale errors it makes me a little sad. The sane side of me knows I have not gained more than 16 pounds in 2 days, but the emotional girly side of me gets upset and hurt by a little electronic device.
I will try again this evening. And I will keep trying until I do not get an error message. I'm really focused on losing the next 34 pounds. A lot changes for me when I hit 350 pounds. At 350 pounds, I can use my husband's bike. At 350 pounds, I can use my WII Fit that I purchased almost 4 years ago that I have never gotten to play. At 350 pounds, well honestly, I can be at 350 pounds. I haven't been there in a long time.
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