XREDEEMED   17,591
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Looking in the Mirror

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

It started with me eating more than necessary and then a conscious decision to not worry about my calories since I am fat anyway. With the weight gain came the tired feeling and decision not to exercise - besides it's hot outside.

That was about 2-3 weeks ago. Today, I decided to face up to my decisions and get on the scale. The number stopped at 190. I haven't been at that weight since I first found sparkpeople and signed up.

Thankfully, I have read one person's blog about how perseverence is the key. I have no idea how many times I have started over, but I have already made the decision that I am doing it again. I started today with just making smarter choices and moving more. I am sitting in my recliner surfing sparkpeople.com preparing my meal plans for the rest of this week and planning my workouts.

I feel like apologizing to everyone for being such a slacker and not holding up my end. Instead, I am looking in the mirror and facing myself. I am owning up to my choices. Today is a new day and I will see my goal weight of 160. So today, I have been successful and I am proud of my tiny baby steps I have made in the right direction.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XREDEEMED 6/27/2012 11:28PM

    Thank you for letting me know I am not the only one suffering from this character flaw!

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HEALTHYIN2014 6/26/2012 11:28PM

    I too have started over many times. You are heading in the right direction.

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MISS-OVEREATER 6/26/2012 9:48PM

    Applauding you for getting back up and not staying down

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I love food

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I spend a lot of time thinking about what I am going to eat next. I eat too fast, I eat when I am hungry and when I am craving. Why can't cravings be for healthy, low fat, low calorie items?!! When I eat breakfast, I enjoy it and savor it. But as soon as I am finished, I start thinking about what I can have for lunch and then watch the clock tick away the minutes until I can indulge my taste buds and stomach once again.

It isn't as if, I sit around doing nothing but thinking about food. I am a busy woman and spend a lot of time studying, running errands and living my life. Why is food so important to me? Why do I spend so much time, no - devote so much time and attention to food?!!! I need help to learn how to hate food. Perhaps, if I make it my enemy I can win this battle because I am really tired of the constant fighting with my sweet tooth and cravings!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJ-SHE-BEAST 5/24/2012 12:35PM

    Nope, making food your enemy is as detrimental as making it the love of your life.

I have a friend who says he views food as fuel. We recently discussed this and I am trying to incorporate my own preferences into his "method". He was, like you, obsessing on his next meal while eating the current one. He forced himself to slow down while eating so that he could gauge when his tank was "full". He has a rule about his car where he never lets the gas level get below a quarter of a tank and follows that rule in his eating. He snacks on hard cheese or nuts (something he has to really chew) with a small cup of milk halfway between breakfast and lunch. This he views as bringing the fuel tank up to half full. He will finish filling up again at lunch. He does the same thing halfway between lunch and dinner. He will on occasion have his snack between dinner and bed, but not usually as a rule. So he is filling up his tank to full three times a day and to half full 2-3 times a day. He works hard not to OVERFILL the tank because if he does his "engine" doesn't run as smooth. He is analytical, so he is also being conscious of what kind of "fuel' to put in his "engine" to make it run its best. He views chips, too many sweets, salty snacks, white bread and other things he has a weakness for as cheap fuel that will make his engine knock and dollar store additives that won't do anything good for his gears and valves. He looks at water intake as though he has a leaky radiator and needs to constantly refill it. He's just weird that way, but it is working for him.

He told me this has greatly improved his food "obsession" even though he acknowledges he switched one type of food obsession for another. At least his new way is healthier!

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Happy where I am at.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

So, I've been celebrating finishing school for about a week now. I have been to the movies, eaten out multiple times and taken naps! I am so excited for having time to have fun and being able to relax that it is hard to make guidelines/schedules and even harder to keep them. Even though I haven't gone overboard on eating and not exercising, I am not doing myself any favors with this lack-a-daisy attitude.

I am pretty healthy - I walked six miles today, helped a couple of classmates study, rode my motorcycle. I am wearing size 16 jeans and shorts and feeling good about how I look. So, I'll make up a schedule and try to make some menu plans. Oh, and I need a job -so if anyone has any tips, I am listening.

This is a good time in my life and I intend to enjoy it without making myself miserable!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJ-SHE-BEAST 5/23/2012 11:43AM

    Laura, what are you looking for in the way of work? I am in frequent contact with people in everything from military/government jobs to food service to graphic design and everything in between. Let me know in a spark mail and I will put out some feelers. Let me know your education background also. Good luck to you and congrats on finishing school!

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TXLADY110 5/22/2012 11:26PM

    Yea!1 walking 6 miles.

Job.. for the summer.. lifegaurd? this weekend they will be needed.. Um on the news sounds like Schlitterbaun will be needing more help... hope you laughed at that..
Keep up the exercise. Fit some healthy eating habits in and you have got a 14 by fall??

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EPIC Challenge

Friday, May 20, 2011

I signed up for epic to get more support. We are new to the area and I still don't know anyone here. This is a big time of transition for us; especially me. I still have one homeschooled son at home who also has a job. Hubby is strongly encouraging me to get back to school (college). I was on track to start nursing school and everything was shuffled last year with a sick dad who died in Oct. We finally got into an apartment in Dec. and sold our house making our last moving trip from Biloxi in February. I kinda feel tired and beat down and thought this would help.

So far, epic has made me feel guilty for letting everyone down. But I will finally be able to help out by actually earning a couple of points this week. It has helped a lot since people actually write and post me --- which lets me know that I EXIST! I know I can do this.

I was trying the first week, however, while I was in Houston visiting family - I coasted. I have made a couple of positive changes this week and am sticking with them.

I can't comment on the next leg. I have to focus on one day at a time here and one pound at a time.

Maybe health check ups for a future improvement. I know people who just don't bother - even if they are dieting and exercising right. There can be hidden health issues that can only be found out by a dr.'s visit.

Keep kicking me though, don't let up or stop pressuring me. I need it to get moving. Thanks all!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHAKA1709 5/21/2011 1:25PM

    Don't give up. If you ever need any help with planning your transition into nursing school, or anything else, let me know. I just recently finished my pre reqs at a community college and am starting at the university of texas health science center san antonio this fall.

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KISSYTINA 5/21/2011 1:15PM

    This blog was so honest and pure. I am so glad you shared. Please don't feel too guilty. You care about your team, and you want to help them. That is totally understandable. But, challenges ARE hard. That is why we have them. Even a couple points is better than no points, and perhaps you have a little extra motivation that you wouldn't have without the challenge.

Taking things one day at a time is totally ok. Sometimes we all need to remember that each day is new, and we always have new opportunities to make healthy choices.

I moved here last summer, and it can be a big scary place when you don't know many people. This team has been a Godsend. I have made so many true friends here. Try to make it to a meetup sometime (we have them as often as we can). I am sure you will just LOVE all the people on this team.

AND... I LOVED what you said about the health checkup. You are absolutely right. We all need to be taking care of our bodies, INCLUDING making sure that we keep a check on our health. Too many of us assume that we are somehow exempt from health problems. I may steal this and blog about it sometime, if that's ok. I know I am definitely guilty here too!

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TURTLE_MOM 5/21/2011 9:37AM

    Guilt does suck :( I know I felt it when I started sliding in leg 2, so I left leg 3. But not having the accountability was REALLY bad for me and I gained! I'm glad you are still around and I like the idea of having a checkup - even the free ones they have at HEB health fairs, like blood pressure and cholesterol.

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ELEXEY 5/21/2011 12:23AM

    Feeling guilty about letting down the team means you actually care about the team, please don't beat yourself up over it. It's really difficult when you're trying to make all the changes you have over the past several months, I couldn't even imagine what it must be like. Then on top of the changes, all the feelings involved have to be dealt with too. I'm really glad you decided to join this challenge to do something for yourself. Make a plan, write it down, and in that plan make dates with yourself, you deserve that.

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MJ-SHE-BEAST 5/20/2011 6:07PM

    Laura, I like the honesty in your blog. My sympathies on the loss of your dad. I lost my mother less than a month ago. Transitions can be very trying and tiring on a body.

Guilt about letting down the team is something I can really identify with, but don't be too hard on yourself. Just get right back in there and give it your best shot! Looking forward to getting to know you better!


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SBEAR5 5/20/2011 4:15PM

    Thanks for doing this Laura! Make sure to give yourself a schedule and stick to it! Keep your appointments to exercise. emoticon You'll do great and I look forward to hopefully meeting up with you sometime! Even if it's just to chat. It can be very hard to get to know ppl when you're new to town. Try signing up for one of the 5K's with us! That's how I started meeting other sparkies! :)

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The "QUEEN" of beginning again

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

I suppose I could choose to see this as me 'failing yet again', but I am choosing to say that I am making a conscious decision to move in a healthier direction. It is a lot like the Christian walk. We all have "besetting" sins- the ones that keep tripping us up all the time, I have to get up and recognize the bad decision for what it is- a mistake- confess it as such and turn in a new direction- away from the sin.

So, here I am AGAIN, to get back on track with my weight loss. I think it is so hard because it really is a lifestyle change and not just a set of new habits that are short term.

I fell off the wagon again, but because I am willing to admit it and turn in a new direction of bringing my appetite and exercise routine under my conscious control - I am assured success! Today, I am successful. I recognized my bad decisions regarding eating and fitness and I am changing my route and my routine. I am going to accomplish this- even if it takes me ten years.

My starting weight as of Saturday night is 179. My goal is a healthy and reasonable 160. Just watch me go!!

Habitual loser by sheer determination


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