Monday, May 19, 2014
I had a really crazy weekend with good things happening, but didn't leave much time for exercise.
Fortunately, when I got home today, there were some lovely things waiting for me, namely recent orders from amazon and iherb.com with happy things inside, including a new Jillian Michaels DVD and some healthy foods....cashew butter, coconut oil, and a protein shake powder.
Good way to start the week. It's getting so so hot now, and I'm looking forward to hitting the pool soon.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
I've always been a big fan of personality typing. I find the stuff absolutely fascinating. I'm an INFP which is quite a low % of the population. But whenever I read the descriptions I feel like it's right on. So naturally, my curiosity was piqued when I heard about a totally different system: The Enneagram.
I have kind of inconclusive results on the tests, but I'm probably a Type 9: The Peacemaker
The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent
One thing related to health from these insights is that this personality type tends toward the path of least resistance, striving for comfort and peace. They may be likely to enjoy a lot of good food, and not have much energy to work it off. They can even tend to numb themselves with things such as food, TV, or other pleasures in order to avoid conflict and the discomfort of facing their own weaknesses. Some of this felt like I was reading a description of my struggles with motivation.
Not that this is an excuse. Just because I naturally tend toward "slothfulness" doesn't mean I can remain there. In fact that is a manifestation of the more unhealthy versions of myself. So as I become more healthy and WHOLE, I will be able to overcome my negative tendencies, and be my best self. That is a healthy self. A self not driven by compulsion, but by choice, a self who makes choices that will be the best for me both now and in the future.
Monday, May 05, 2014
Well, my lent plan ended up being a pretty big failure. Actually, that's not true. I still have to keep remembering that doing something is better than doing nothing, but I definitely cheated on the sugar eating, which led to me beating myself up, which led to more sugar eating.
Just passed another birthday feeling like I'm more or less at the same spot I was a year ago. Again, I KNOW that's not true. I may be at the same weight, but there are a number of healthy habits that are a part of my life now that weren't there a year ago. Yes, I fall sometimes, but the negative self talk really doesn't help at all.
I keep wondering when I'm finally going to GET IT. When I'm finally going to have that breakthrough I've been waiting for. I know it in my head, but somewhere deep down, I don't believe it, otherwise I would have changed by now.
And that frustrates the heck out of me.
The life coaching that I've been doing has helped a bit, but I kind of feel like I let my healthy eating habits fall by the wayside as I started to focus on other things. Looking forward to the day when I can be who I was meant to be. But I need to remember that there are steps NOW that I have to take to get there. It's a journey. I'm not just going to magically wake up one day with all of my issues solved. But I am going to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I realize that I'm making progress.
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Last week was a total write-off :(
I had the flu, and was pretty much in bed for 3 days.
I tried to go for a walk one day, and could barely make it 20 minutes before I was overwhelmed by back pain and coughing.
THANKFULLY, I'm on the mend, and did manage a longer walk this weekend.
I've done short 7-minute circuit workouts for the past 3 days, and I'm slowly regaining strength. I rarely get seriously ill, and that was the worst cold/flu I've had in a very long time. Glad it's over!
This Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, which means it's time to give up something. Last year, I fasted from meat except for fish, and it was helpful to me in raising my awareness of what I was eating, and examining the power food tends to hold over my life. This year, I want to tackle another stronghold: sweets and added sugar. Even the idea of giving them up has me justifying in my mind all the "treats" I won't be able to have. But at some point, they have become more than just treats, and I've been consuming them a lot more than is desirable. I know that rewarding myself with food is a habit from my family and I know that sometimes I feel like I 'deserve' to eat something sugary after completing, for example an unpleasant task. But is this really a reward? It's so twisted, because those rewards turn into cravings and self-destructive habits. So it's time to ask God to break the chain in my life:
For Lent, I resolve to:
Abstain from all added sweeteners to drinks. (Unsweetened coffee and tea are allowed)
Say no to desserts and sweetened treats/snacks. (Fresh fruit is allowed, but not dried)
I don't know if I can promise to give up these things forever, but I hope and expect that after this exercise, cutting back will be much easier, and I will be aware of all of the unnecessary sugars that I don't need
There is a goal as well... I'm attending a wedding just a week after Easter, and have a REALLY cute dress... now just need a more toned body to go with it!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
I think I missed blogging about this, but my word/focus for 2014 is "wholly"
and I've been moving toward that direction in a lot of ways. Right around the time that word was coming to me in December, I had a conversation with a new friend where she shared that she just completed training to become a life coach. The timing couldn't have been better, and I knew it was something that would be really helpful for me. So I've started on a journey of reflection, dreaming and hope. While this is encompassing all of my life, I do believe my health is a big part of that. I think that as I become a more emotionally, spiritually healthy version of myself, some of my weight issues will be dealt with in the process. With that said, it's hard to keep focusing on weight right now when I've got so many things running through my mind. But my journey toward becoming "whole" in 2014 will involve a reconnection between my body and mind. I realized that I have this need to act like/pretend that I have it all together. At work, in my friendships etc. I'm a people pleaser, and I put up walls to mask my failures and vulnerabilities. The ironic thing is that some of the walls I've put up are made of an extremely visible substance - fat. Well, isn't that ridiculous? Time to say goodbye to it!
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