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I need another laugh!! Enjoy!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

OK, I promise next week I will write a substantial/meaty blog!! But in the meantime, enjoy some silly pictures a friend emailed me!!!

This first one makes me want to go buy one of these stones!! It seems so useful!! LOL!! (My favorite is the stone jumping up and down for an earthquake!!)





This next one is just too darn cute!! Puppies always make me smile!!




And this last one wants to make me learn how to "ride" a motorcycle/spring so I can do cool tricks at the playground too!!




Hope you enjoyed the pictures!! If you laughed hard enough, you probably burned a few calories!!



emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADLINS 3/18/2010 8:05PM

    Love the pics!

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BUTTERFLYSONGS 3/18/2010 11:34AM

    Laughing is great exercise for the abs ! Believe it or not ! emoticon

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FITNESSFOODIE 3/17/2010 6:25PM

    LOL, I needed that! emoticon

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MRS_TOAD 3/17/2010 11:30AM

    emoticon

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SCRAPPY_RN 3/17/2010 10:40AM

    Those are too cute!!

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DAISES2 3/17/2010 10:32AM

    funny and cute

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LIVELIFEFREELY 3/16/2010 10:45PM

    Haha that was funny. I like the first one the best.

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SUPREME5 3/16/2010 10:35PM

    LOL

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GEORGIEGIRL65 3/16/2010 10:33PM

    Thanks for the laugh :)

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I really need a good laugh -- so I hope you enjoy this one!!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I know I have gotten away from my usual motivating introspective blogs -- and I promise I will come back to them. But in the meantime as I count down my days to being unemployed, here's an email I got from another friend that is guaranteed to make you laugh, especially if you're a woman!! Guys -- pay attention!!

=========

The Female Demerit System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, but leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what you say)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS_TOAD 3/13/2010 11:24AM

    I know this is a bit long, but I thought you might need another laugh!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

----

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2,
and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applicationsJewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all
your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program.
This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!


Comment edited on: 3/13/2010 11:25:10 AM

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STARTSPARKING 3/12/2010 5:47AM

    The last one deducting 4,000 points is the best! emoticon Thank you so much for sharing. emoticon

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JUDY1676 3/11/2010 11:44PM

    emoticon loved it!

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FITNESSFOODIE 3/11/2010 11:19PM

    emoticon I really needed that!

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DABINEXIAN 3/11/2010 10:13PM

    Thank you for sharing. I needed a good laugh.

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GEOFROG 3/11/2010 9:50PM

    I love it! I love it!!!! This is great!!!!

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MOMMA48 3/11/2010 9:28PM

    Totally love it!!! emoticon emoticon and emoticon all the way!!

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LIVINGONMYTERMS 3/11/2010 9:27PM

    emoticon that was great!! Thanks for sharing.

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DAN7221954 3/11/2010 8:38PM

    emoticon

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1FAVOREDLADY 3/11/2010 8:22PM

    OMG soo funny, Thanks . I am copy and sending to son! LOL

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ADLINS 3/11/2010 8:17PM

    Too funny.

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JAYCEE77 3/11/2010 7:34PM

    emoticon

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PLUSTODOWNSIZE 3/11/2010 7:21PM

    Very cute and somewhat .. true...lol

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THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES- this'll be good!! LOL!!

Thursday, March 04, 2010

I had to copy and paste this email I got from my friend. Remember, my user name is "xhastedmomof2" so I especially found this hilarious!! Hope you enjoy this as much as I did!!

===========

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food..
Each man must take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished, and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, head aches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, doctor's name, the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear, and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!


My MIL with my kids when they were little; she's still earning the right to be called "Mother!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARTSPARKING 3/10/2010 7:40AM

    Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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HIDIANE 3/6/2010 5:55PM

    You should sell this to the networks, I know a lot of women that would make time to watch it - including me and I watch very little tv!

emoticon

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MRS_TOAD 3/6/2010 2:23PM

    I think this would be a great game, but finding willing contestants could prove to be difficult.

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SCRAPPY_RN 3/5/2010 11:00AM

    I would love to see that!!

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LAURIE5658 3/5/2010 9:29AM

    O!M!G! This is too funny with so many possibilities! Thank you!!!

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RENLA6991 3/5/2010 9:19AM

    Yeah, those guys would be making rafts or swimming to the mainland in no time!

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HEALTHY4ME 3/4/2010 10:34PM

    Here in Canada they had a show called the week the women left town. They litterly took I forget how many women from their homes and took them to a spa etc. and left the men to fend. I can just imagine what it was really like! LOL

I agree they would have a shortage of contestants LOL was only on 2 seasons I think.

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FITNESSFOODIE 3/4/2010 10:22PM

    This is hysterical! they may have a shortage of "contestants"! LOL

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ACTIVEGRANDMAP 3/4/2010 10:08PM

    Great game. i can't wait! Pam

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Interview outfit shopping was so demoralizing!! And I donít even have an interview yet!!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

OK, first things first! On Tuesday I went to the orthopedic surgeon with the tendinitis in my right shoulder in full bloom. This was my second time seeing him for my shoulder as I went to see him for the same problem almost 2 years ago. After examining the shoulder, he gave me the shot of cortisone and a referral for physical therapy. Several days later, I am still sore. Itís too soon to tell if the cortisone injection worked. But I plan to do a "Walk Away the Pounds" DVD later today and that will be my first workout in a few weeks! And until I start physical therapy on the 8th and the physical therapist gives me the go-ahead to ramp up, I will continue doing gentle, no weight-bearing workouts.

Alright, on to the main event. Thanks to budgeting shortfalls my job, along with several others, is being phased out. Thankfully, as of Friday, I was still employed. But how much longer is very much at issue. I have been applying for transfers to anything at or below my pay scale within a 50 mile radius of my home. Additionally, my resume has been flooded on the local job market for anything I qualify for. So far, only 1 interview and several rejections. Earlier this week, one of the hiring managers for one of the transfers I applied to sent me an email asking if I was willing to commute to the office. I replied that I had worked in that building a long time ago so commuting was no issue. He then said that he would arrange an interview for some time next week.

I decided I needed a stellar interview outfit but on a bottom dollar budget. We tried Kohlís but their petite section was more play clothes than business attire. We then tried Macyís. I found an adorable Alfred Dunner top and slacks outfit that was on sale Ė 40% off!! (I found a picture of the top on the web!!)



We then bought a nice strand of pearls and earrings to finish off the look. In total, we spent a hair over $100; so I feel like we did pretty good yesterday.

But getting out the door was painfully demoralizing!! I have not been clothing shopping probably in over a year!! I forgot about the unforgiving 3-way mirrors, the SIZES!!, and all the mirrors!! I had been feeling pretty accepted about my figureÖ that was until last night in the harsh glare of those ugly fluorescent lights and those oh-so brutally honest mirrors!! I wonít list what all looked so upsettingly shocking; but I am sure we all have pretty much the same complaints!!

I keep reminding myself Ė I am a work in progress in so many ways!! So the work continues! My plan is for the next time I go clothing shopping (probably in May for mother of the graduate clothes) to have a much more pleasant experience!

(And yes, I really did type this entire blog with my left hand so I'm resting my shoulder like a good patient!!)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADLINS 3/10/2010 8:00PM

    Love the outfit! Shopping for clothes is never really pleasant for me. I've discovered that size is not stanard for me - it's totally dependent on the brand, etc. So, don't focus on that. Focus on how you look in the outfit and how you feel in the outfit. And, knock 'em dead in the interview!

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LAVENDERGIRLL 3/2/2010 4:19PM

    You are going to look "so classy" in that outfit! I love the colors! I hope you feel better soon. I will keep you in my thoughts (all positive of course!)!

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MRS_TOAD 2/28/2010 5:07PM

    You are indeed a work in progress. It is a journey and not a destination so wink at the beautiful person in the mirror and tell "I can and will succeed. You just wait and see what I have in store for you!" (Love the outfit!)

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WEKIMER 2/28/2010 12:44PM

    what a beautiful outfit. you will ace the interview. Good luck! I know you will do well. sorry to hear about your job being phased out. that is getting to be a regular thing in so many companies anymore.
sorry to hear about the trying out outfits. yes it is the hardest thing to look in those 3 way mirrors under those flourescents. they are so harsh. So don't be too harsh on yourself. Hugs! kim

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BUTTERFLYSONGS 2/28/2010 10:09AM

    "It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." ~Edmund Hillary


I know you can do this ! emoticon

The outfit is beautiful! Good luck with the interview next week !

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SCRAPPY_RN 2/28/2010 9:42AM

    The outfit is gorgeous and I bet you look beautiful. We are our harshest critics. Good luck with your interview :)

I hope all goes well with the PT and the cortisone shot. When will you know if it worked?


emoticon emoticon

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HDHAWK 2/28/2010 9:35AM

    The outfit is very nice! Those dressing rooms are the worst. Forget it! Like you said, we're all works in progress! BEST OF LUCK ON THE INTERVIEW!

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DEB2448 2/28/2010 2:50AM

    Good luck with the interview. I love the outfit!

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SHEILA1505 2/28/2010 2:45AM

    Good Luck!

Since the changing rooms are so small, the lighting and mirrors are horrid, and there's usually a Q of people impatiently waiting, I tend to buy the clothes I am interested in and take them home to try on with the right accessories & shoes etc. Then I take it all back for credit if necessary. I'm still hunting for jeans to fit me!

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KRITTERKEEPERS 2/28/2010 1:37AM

    I think the top you picked out looks nice. Good luck with the interview!
emoticon

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JUDY1676 2/27/2010 10:31PM

    Hope you have a great interview! Good luck with the job hunt!
Hope that shoulder starts improving!

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BEFIT014 2/27/2010 10:04PM

    Good luck with the interview! It is so depressing!
And good luck with the shoulder. I've never had to have cortisone shots-does it normally take so long to work?

Have a good weekend!

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TINKERBELL200 2/27/2010 6:35PM

    Good luck with the interview, and keep a good attitude! I'm sure you will do great! Nice outfit! I'm sure it looks wonderful on you! Don't talk about my friend that way!!! I'm sure she looks stellar with her new doo and outfit!!! Keep the faith my friend!
emoticon
Lynne

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WINE4GIRL 2/27/2010 5:46PM

    Good luck with the interview! Remember, your positive attitude will get you a long way - and from what I've read on your pages, you have an incredible positive attitude!


emoticon

ps. thanks for the kind comments on my blog!

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MBSKIT 2/27/2010 4:20PM

    Good luck with your interview.

make sure that you are using ice to help with the inflammation. Good for you on not doing any weight bearing exercises. I tried to do triceps dips. BIG NONO with shoulder issues.
I hope that the shots kicks in soon.

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LOISRS 2/27/2010 3:54PM

    Good luck with the interview.

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WILDCARD1 2/27/2010 3:53PM

    I like that outfit, and you will look great in it! We are usually so much more critical of ourselves then others are.

Good luck with your interview!

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GRAMPIAN 2/27/2010 3:51PM

  That's a real achievement if you're right-handed - well done! I'm sure you'll be able to choose from a wider range of clothes next time you go shopping. emoticon

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Newest Opportunity to grow: becoming co-leader of Blooming Roses!

Saturday, February 20, 2010



It started with a Sparkmail and I hope it turns into a wonderfully fun adventure!! MBSKIT, who has been doing a marvelous job with the Blooming Roses team, sent me an email asking me to help lead the team. Funny, but I had been recently thinking of making sure I keep active in Sparks, in spite of the recent worries I have had added thanks to looking for a job in this miserable economy!!

I had recently pulled back from Sparks so I could spend more time going thru Monster, MSN Career Builder, etc. No job yet but the bulk of the ads out there that I qualify for now have been flooded with my resume. So what to do besides sit by the phone after I do my workouts when I get home from my job that will be dissolved shortly? Well, I have been playing computer games! (Totally addicted to Sallyís Spa on the iTouch!! Itís like Diner Dash but you do facials, massages, manicures, saunas, etc!!) And my workouts have ground to a halt thanks to tendonitis flaring up in my right shoulder.

So MBSKITís Sparkmail seems to have come at a wonderful time!! This will give me a chance to make new friends, learn a few new things, and maybe give my poor overplayed iTouch a much needed break!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS_TOAD 2/23/2010 11:14AM

    I am so proud of you! With all the "stuff" in your life, including the gremlin that is toying with your slacks, you continue to amaze me by your readiness to try something new! With your sense of humor, good advice and ability to inspire, I know that you will do fabulously!

Here are some emoticon to help you start your journey!

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FITTYTIF 2/21/2010 11:27PM

    I love sally spa!! I am now doing dinner dash. and the one that got me started was a chocolate store one!!! Congrats on being a co-leader you will do great.!!!

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TINKERBELL200 2/21/2010 6:47PM

    emoticon !!!!! I'm sure you will be awesome!!! You go girl!!!!
emoticon
Lynne

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HDHAWK 2/21/2010 6:19PM

    You'll be a great leader! A wonderful new job is just waiting for you to fill it!

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SCRAPPY_RN 2/21/2010 8:56AM

    Congratulations - I will have to check out your new team :)

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JUSLEFAIRE 2/20/2010 11:02PM

    Congratulations. You will be a wonderful leader.
nancy

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MBSKIT 2/20/2010 9:29PM

    You will be a wonderful leader!!
emoticon

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MOMMA48 2/20/2010 9:27PM

    emoticon my friend, and you're going to be a perfect Co-Leader! Have fun and enjoy!!!!

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WILDCARD1 2/20/2010 9:10PM

    Wow, have fun! I am co-leader of 2 very small and slow teams, but it is still fun!

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FITNESSFOODIE 2/20/2010 9:05PM

    Congrats on your new leadership opportunity! Have fun with it! emoticon

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