XHASTEDMOMOF2   137,291
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Big dummy tested positive for pot!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

My son had his arraignment this morning for his pot charge. Because he was already in detention for the contempt of court charge, they took his case last. All the other parents had left the court room with their children and it was just me sitting alone in the back. The bailiff asked me if I was his mother and I said yes. I then asked if when they bring him up, will I be able to give him a hug. She said no, that I was not allowed to touch him and I think she could see it in my eyes that it hurt to hear what she said because she gave me one of those I am sorry looks.

Then they called me to sit in the front row and they went to bring him in. It was the hardest thing listening to his ankle chains clanking and his boots scuffing as he walked down the hall. He looked at me and I quickly whispered "I love you." Once they started the arraignment proceedings, things turned worse for my son as the probation officer stated that he had tested positive for pot this morning. At that point, a part of me just wanted to smack him in the back of his head all the while saying to him "you promised me you were staying clean!!" When it was over, he and his clunky boots and clanging ankle chains were taken away and I gave him one last long pitiful look.

After court, I took his eye glasses up to the detention center since I had found them in his bedroom. I have no clue what he has done with his contacts but that is the least of my worries. When I took up his glasses, I was able to speak to a counselor and he said that they will keep him until he tests clean twice. I also asked if they had him meeting with counselors because I would like this episode to become a wake up call and turn into something positive in the long run. My understanding is that it may take up to 38 days for him to test clean from the last time he smoked pot. Tomorrow will be the first time I will be able to talk to him when his unit has visitation between 10:30 and 11:00. You know I will ask him when that 38 days will be over and if it means that Christmas will be spent with him in detention.

I feel bad for him but he has brought this on himself. He knew 2 months ago that this was coming. Why he chose to violate his dad's and my trust, I will never understand. But I am staying strong in this. My heart aches for the pain he must be going thru stuck in detention, but he had plenty of warnings from us and his lawyer. So it looks as tho the contempt of court charge only got him in a day earlier than he would have gone in anyways!

They say you need to hit rock bottom to change. Let's all hope and pray that this is the rock bottom he needs to hit in order to turn his life around!

In the meantime, I just want to say a quick "Thank You" to everyone who has left supportive comments on my blog from yesterday. I will get back to you and thank you personally as well!

  


OMG They have my son in dentention for contempt of court!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

So this morning my son's friend had his trial for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and my son was subpoenaed as a witness in the trial. I had stayed home from work today so I could take him. But then this morning, he said he did not want me to go. I know when he was subpoenaed for that bad drug deal and the guy held my son and his friends hostage, I was the only mother of any of the boys that were subpoenaed as witnesses that came to court with her son. (Apparently that was a very bad day for that kid because he sicked his dog on one of the boys, but I digress.) So when my son asked me to not come with him today, I thought to myself, no big deal; he's just going to testify and then he will be home. Well, that is not what happened.

Apparently when his friend was done with his trial (he got 3 years suspended and a few other things, but nothing big!), he went to the clerk of the court. While he was there taking care of his fines, something was said and my son got the clerk of the court upset. He apologized. Then as he was walking away from the clerk, my son got a text message from his girlfriend and he muttered (sorry if I offend, but these were his exact words) "Stupid B!tch" to his girlfriend over the text message. The clerk heard what he said and thought he was referring to her and got my son pulled back. He has been charged with contempt of court and will be spending the next 3 days in juvenile intake (that is what they call the detention center here). I am not able to have any communication with him whatsoever. The only time I can visit him is for 30 minutes on Saturday and then he will be released on Sunday.

When they called from intake, I told them that he was just yesterday diagnosed with strep throat and that he needs his antibiotics. When I took his medicine up to intake, there were some people there from a local ministry. I asked them to stop by and say a prayer with him and to please tell my son that I am very worried about him.

When I got my one phone call from my son, he sounded so upset. Besides that, this whole thing stinks. Since when are you not allowed to cuss in a courthouse? I realize it is not a nice thing to do but I really feel that his civil rights have been violated here. I did contact his lawyer this evening but she will not be able to do anything until the morning. So for now, he has to spend the night at intake. When I brought up his antibiotics, the nurse told me that he was in medical isolation because he is so sick. Not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

And on top of everything else, my hunny is starting to show signs of all this stress getting to him. His neck is really hurting so I told him to keep an eye on it and we should go to the emergency room if he starts feeling the least bit wrong.

What a day!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABEL. 12/14/2007 1:59PM

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. I imagine how hard it must be for you but the others are right. Something good will come of this and even though I do agree with you in that it was totally unfair...this might be the final "sign" for your son to go down the straight road. Soon, this will be over and your family will survive.

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GOGETCONNIE 12/14/2007 10:28AM

    My son was in detention for 2 weeks. I know it was really hard on him, but he's a pretty good kid....no really. Anyway, it's a wake up call and he realized he didn't want to go back.

The ministry came and talked to him and I visited when I could. Don't worry about 2 days. Maybe it'll teach him a little more respect for the court and women in general.

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MCCURDY63 12/14/2007 8:56AM

    Oh no, what a disaster :( I don't know what to say, you must be so worried and stressed out with all this. I hope your Son gets well soon, too. Bless you.

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LOST_CONOR 12/14/2007 3:08AM

    Betty, I am very sorry for you that you have had (are having!) this traumatising experience. It is clear after reading your reflections on your Spark Page that the underlying issue has concerned you for some time. While no one wants a child in juvenile detention a number of good things could come from this. First, since your son is ill, if he is kept in the medical unit for his entire stay he should avoid the roughest of the wards (children in juvenile detention are wards ... not prisoners, wards. Isn't that a nice play on words effected by the state?) in the facility. With this he should be safer. Second, this could have a "scared straight" affect on him, encouraging him to "keep within the lines" for a while. Third, when he appears before the next judge he will no doubt be apologetic and contrite and the judge will likely show leniency considering he has already served three days. (I once had a reckless driving charge in your area and when I appeared before the judge I stated that I did not think I had driven so fast [87 in a 55 zone] but that I had ultimate respect for the work the police do to keep our roads safe and that I would not refute the officer's charge. The judge canceled the case against me. I'd recommend a suit and tie!) Ultimately, your son is lucky that the police did not attempt to seize his vehicle for drug possession. Only a few more hours of this purgatory and your son should emerge a much better man. We pray for you and your family.

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Son going to court these next 2 days

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I will be taking off from work for the rest of the week so I can take my son to court tomorrow and Friday. Tomorrow he has been subpoenaed to testify in his buddy's case for the contributing to the delinquency of a minor charge. This goes back to the night they got pulled over and the pipes and the pot was found. I personally believe the charge against his buddy is one of the stupidest things around. Nobody held a gun to my son's head when he chose to smoke the pot. So in my mind there is no contributing; just my own son's stupidity! Then on Friday, my son has his possession charge. Actually, it is just his arraignment and we are using the same lawyer we had for the curfew violation. But this is where things could get ugly for my son! He will have a urine test; and if he fails, he will have to stay in intake until he passes. I already told him not to expect any sympathy from me if he fails as he has had since late August to clean out his system. If he fails on Friday, it will be his own doing since he knew this was coming.

For various reasons this week I have not been able to workout every day. So hopefully we will not spend all day at court and I can knock out some good workouts while I will be home. I will keep you all posted as to how court and my workouts are progressing.

Speaking of updates, I have been given a reprieve from wearing the 30 day heart monitor during the day and I only wear it at night. That is really great because the patches that attached the leads to my skin caused an allergic reaction and the skin got pretty itchy and rashy. I put a lot of aloe and Cortaid on it during the day and the spots have started healing up nicely. Otherwise even tho I am on the Lexapro for general anxiety disorder, the palpitations continue. Hopefully as the medication starts taking a better hold of my system, the palpitations will go away. But I do like it that the doctors are trying to make sure that nothing else is going on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEME102 12/12/2007 10:24PM

    I want to add my prayers to you for having to go through this. It's hard enough in Dec to maintain a healthy lifestyle let alone when you have other stresses to add to it. Keep us posted on how you're doing

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NOMI_822 12/12/2007 9:30PM

    I HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL FOR YOU BOTH. MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU AS WELL AS MY PRAYERS. KEEP US POSTED.


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MCCURDY63 12/12/2007 6:26PM

    Very best of luck to you both. I'll be thinking of you.

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BABEL. 12/12/2007 4:24PM

    Muchos luck to you and your son Xhastedmom!!!!! I'll be here biting my nails. I sure hope he learned his lesson but most of all I hope the judge is lenient....bleh...don't worry soon this will be over. I hope you get to do your workouts.

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ADLINS 12/12/2007 4:04PM

    Good luck to you and your son! My brother was a bit of a wild child and I watched as my parents went through various life events with him as well. You are doing what you can and as you have pointed out, your son is responsible for his actions. It appears he is learning this. You hang in there.

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YEPITSMEH 12/12/2007 3:32PM

    Big Hugs to you and good luck these next two days! I appreciate you sharing you story with me and glad I came across it now where I can see how things turn out. I'd love for your year to end on a good note. You'll be in my thoughts ~ Meh

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Not much in the Christmas mood but we have a "tree" now!

Friday, December 07, 2007

This Christmas will go down in my personal history as one of the oddest Christmases ever! First, our artificial tree was ruined in the mud flood back in August. Then our living room is still crowded with our basement salvages. So there is no room for a full size tree of any size in our living room because there is no space for it. And I refuse to put anything of any value in our basement until we come to some kind of settlement with the evil builder that sunk our basement. Can you imagine the absolute heartbreak if we were to get sunk again with all the presents still under the tree? Besides my basement is so utterly depressing to spend any time in with its ugly walls and cold concrete slab floor!! (Check out the before gallery pictures with my cousins playing Guitar Hero!)

Then we have had some rather large financial hits lately between repairing my daughter's car after running over the deer and my son's legal costs as well as some other big hits. But my MIL came to rescue and gave us her old tabletop Christmas tree!! We plan to put it on the drop leaf table in our living room. Size wise it fits perfectly and the price was perfect!! So now we will have some kind of a tree to put the presents under this Christmas!! Well, it is a start!!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RABLEY 12/12/2007 12:57AM

  Whats your weather like over there , i see on our news you are having snow and really bad ice storms is that where you are?

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COWPUNKMOM 12/10/2007 8:33AM

    We've done the table-top tree before. Guess what? Christmas came that year for us, and it will come this year for you.

Phooey on the basement stuff. Phooey! I'm wishing you an extra dose of "sense of humour" so you can look at the awful stuff and find it at least a little bit funny. Laughing can help a lot!

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BABEL. 12/7/2007 8:33PM

    Awww, don't worry with a warm family, Christmas is always special. I missed reading your blog, got kinda busy but hope to see you around soon. Oh boy, I missed the deer accident... :O


I hope you have a lovely weekend.

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NOMI_822 12/7/2007 5:55PM

    YOU ARE ONE AMAZING LADY. TO GO THROUGH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE THIS YEAR AND STILL UP AND MOVING AROUND. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DEAL WITH UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU. EVERYONE SAYS WHAT THEY THINK THEY WOULD DO BUT YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW UNTIL IT HAPPENS. YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE SUPER STRONG TO DEAL WITH ALL THIS. I DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT CHRISTMAS BECAUSE IT IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON IS NOT ABOUT A TREE OR PRESENTS IT IS ALL ABOUT A BABY'S BIRTHDAY. I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HAVE A VERY BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND WHO KNOWS IT MIGHT JUST BE THE MOST MEMORABLE CHRISTMAS EVER. HUG TO YOU AND I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL.

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MCCURDY63 12/7/2007 5:39PM

    I've been wondering how you were getting on. I've missed your blog! Table top trees are so sweet; we don't even have that - our maniac dog is so destructive we have no tree. Just fairy lights and we hang our cards on the walls. I hope you have a very happy Christmas!!

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Got my 30 day heart monitor yesterday!!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Since my heart palpitations have come back with a vengeance, the doctor ordered a 30 day heart monitor to find out what is going on. They have already done the EKG several times and several blood tests. They have also done the Holter monitor (24 hour heart monitor) as well as the stress test. But nothing showed up with any of those. My gut feeling is that the heart palpitations are stress induced. And if you take a look at all I have been thru lately, it truly is not surprising that I would start having symptoms from stress. So my doctor is being thorough and making sure none of these heart palpitations are mechanical. That could also make sense because for so many years the doctors kept me purposely in a state of being hyperthyroid in order to discourage the thyroid cancer from coming back. If you look at the symptoms of being hyperthyroid, heart palpitations are one of the major ones and being hyperthyroid can do some major damage to the heart. But now they have slowly lowered my thyroid dose to the point that it is within the normal range and the fear of the cancer coming back is less since it has been 19 years since I beat it.

I like that the doctor is first taking the time to do all the tests to make sure that the heart palpitations are not mechanical. However at the same time, he is also treating me for the stress. He started off with Xanax but it appears as tho I need more. So he wrote me a prescription for Lexapro but my insurance balked and said I had to fail on a cheaper medication; so I am now taking Celexa instead. Since I started the Celexa earlier this week, I have already noticed a slowly improving reduction in the severity and length of the heart palpitations. We may be on to something here!!

So here is the kicker - last night I was so exhausted when I went to bed that when my palpitations started, I did not press the button to record the palpitations into the monitor. GRRR!!! But then I only had 3 or 4 episodes instead of the usual several. Oh well, I am sure there will be more!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GYPSYSPI 12/6/2007 9:56PM

    Keeping you in my prayers, especially over the busy holiday season.

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RABLEY 12/4/2007 1:44AM

  Hi im glad to hear you had a good Monday i hope the rest of the week is good for you. Take it easy if possible i know thats hard with teens.I love shopping in fact i think im addicted to it more than food and thats my stress buster, my hubbie would say its his stress giver on his wallet though. Have a nice stress free, fat free ,sugar free day, wouldnt it be lovely to be normal (is there such a thing nowdays). x

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MCCURDY63 12/1/2007 5:13PM

    I hope the improvement continues, you certainly deserve some good news. Are you able to exercise OK?

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