Sunday, January 06, 2013
I make no bones about the fact that I have been divorced and single for a long, long time. Like most single women in the 21st century, I've dated and had a few relationships, but love? No, not really. Along the path I've met some amazing men and some fantastic losers. My closest girlfriends are still waiting on me to write a book about all the bad dates and weird personalities I've encountered over the years. They've even developed nicknames for some of the worst offenders.
Two years ago, I found myself an unemployed grandmother-to-be. It was a scary time because for the first time in decades, every aspect of my life was uncertain. Where would I live, would I find a job, how can we afford a baby? What will happen to my daughter? There was no time to even think about dating or meeting men. I put my love life on the back burner.
Now, it's 2013. My daughter and grandson are doing well, I downsized from a three-bedroom house to a 2BR apartment, and I've been steadily employed for about a year and a half. I'm 50 pounds thinner and life is calm and stable. Time to get back "out there."
Like anyone else, I carry my fair share of "baggage" from previous relationships and tendencies to invest time and effort into men that aren't worth two dead flies. None of this has changed simply because I'm thinner. What has changed is that I have more choices about who I can date. It's not only about being slimmer, but feeling healthier and more confident about myself which attracts more people. When I was younger, I detested this type of attention. I'm sure it factored into my weight gain. Now that I'm older, I feel more grounded, wiser and focused about what I'm looking for. The unwanted attention is easier to deflect.
I think the biggest change is a new sense of calm about being single. It now feels like a choice, versus feeling invisible to the opposite sex. This calmness is going to help me do a better job of really evaluating if a man deserves to be a part of my life versus glomming on to any decent-looking man who gives me the time of day. It's given me the confidence to throw a few fish back into the sea because of varies character defects that I would have previously overlooked or rationalized. It also helps that nothing shocks me anymore. For example, last month I traded phone numbers with a man who I later learned was engaged by googling his name (And had the nerve to ask me for my number--seriously!?). Appalling, but there are a lot of scandalous people out there and not everyone who is good to you is good for you. That's key.
So after a long absence from the dating scene, I'm back "out there", meeting, greeting socializing and dating. I'm dealing with the challenge of eating properly during dinners out without looking like a "salad-eatin' b!tch" or abstaining from alcohol while I focus on dropping more weight. I'm also dealing with how to overcome the inherent awkwardness of first dates and conversation without giving into the strong urge to run home and pull the covers over my head. I'm also dealing with the reality of being a 40-something single grandmother in a society that worships youth.
Regardless of what happens next, I'm glad to be back on the singles scene feeling healthy and looking my best.
Saturday, January 05, 2013
I cheated. This morning, after 3 days on the South Beach Phase 1 diet, I weighed myself. To my surprise, not only had I lost the two pounds I gained over Christmas, I'd dropped another pound! Now, I recognize that water weight can really wreak havoc with your weight, but I had not weighed less than I do today in years. It's encouraging news after plateauing for months.
Maybe I revved up my metabolism? Maybe this cold I've been battling for the last week curbed my appetite? Maybe three days on a low calorie diet after all the holiday treats was a zig when I'd been zagging? I have no earthly idea. Still, it's a good feeling to know that I'm only 16 pounds from goal.
I still have 11 days to go on South Beach Phase 1. I'm glad it's having the desired effect of jump starting my weight loss before I return to my regular eating plan.
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Today is my second day on the South Beach Diet--Phase I. The purpose of this 14-day eating plan is to banish food cravings, whisk away the two pounds I gained over the holidays and recharge my motivation.
Today, I followed my plan to the letter:
Breakfast--eggs and turkey bacon
Snack--celery and laughing cow cheese
Lunch--burger patty and grilled vegetables
Dinner--3 oz grilled chicken and a tossed salad
Dessert--sugar free jello and a dollop of whipped topping
All in all, a disciplined day. I even spent some time in the kitchen grilling vegetables, baking chicken breasts, cooking hamburger patties and washing/cutting/bagging celery.
In general, people lose 3-7 pounds during Phase I. Hopefully, I'll achieve similar results. My next scheduled weigh in is Wednesday, so we'll see.
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Hard to believe that one year ago, I was 50 pounds heavier than I am today. Compared with the chaotic years of 2009, 2010 and 2011, last year was a pretty good year. I feel very blessed that the worst moments of 2012 consisted of solvable problems and not anything devastating.
I've been somewhat absent from SP for the last two weeks, for no real good reason and I have a two pound weight gain to prove it. However, the lesson I've learned from years of weight problems is that it's easier to take off two pounds than 52 pounds. So, now that I'm back and ready to get focused again, I'm confident that those two pounds will gone soon.
For 2013, I have set a goal to lose the last 20 pounds I'm carrying around and to reach my goal weight. The only deadline I've set is that they MUST be gone by my high school class reunion in August. Eight months is PLENTY of time to drop the weight, however my preference is that I lose it in five months. That's 1 pound a week.
To get myself back in gear, I've switched up on my eating plan. I'm saying goodbye to weekly meetings at WW. I like WW, but I don't like paying $42 a month to attend what's averaging out to two meetings a month. I also don't feel like getting up-to-speed on all the changes they've made to the program recently. Instead, I am kicking off this year with two weeks of the South Beach Phase 1 diet before I return to my regular SP eating plan. The idea is to jumpstart the weight loss and re-ignite my motivation to continue losing weight.
So, for the next two weeks, my eating plan will look something like this:
Breakfast: eggs, and turkey bacon
Snack: pistachio nuts, celery&hummus, or string cheese
Lunch: lean meat and a veggie
Snack: pistachio nuts, celery&hummus, or string cheese
Dinner: lean meat and a veggie
Dessert: sugar free jell-o+ whipped topping
No bread, little sugar, no fruit or starchy vegetables. Just for two weeks.
I also need to revisit my exercise routine and make some adjustments for winter weather. Generally, in the winter time, I exercise less at the gym and more at home. On the plus side, I have a stationary bike and some DVD's to work out to. On the minus side, I haven't worked out since I went running about a week ago.
Oh well, it does no good for me to get mad at myself. I'm human and I don't do anything perfectly. That's life. The good news is, I'm still here on SP, still blogging and ready to say goodbye to twenty more pounds.
Happy new year!
Onward and downward.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
This morning when I weighed in, I discovered that Iíve lost Ĺ a pound. I was elated because my weight loss has nearly plateaued. I have lost five pounds since early October. Iím exercising 3-4 times a week at best and have recently missed a few days of tracking my food.
This afternoon, I went to a luncheon and ordered a healthy entrťe. But when they brought out the desserts I lost my ever-loviní mind! I ate a huge slice of peppermint ice cream pie and five freshly baked cookies. Donít get me wrong, the food was absolutely delicious, but was it really necessary for me to turn into a human vacuum cleaner? Itís almost as if losing that Ĺ pound during the holiday season gave me the license to eat like it was my last day on earth. Whatís up with that?
To make matters worse, I have a holiday party to go to this evening, so no exercise and more tempting food. My body is not used to consuming such rich foods, so I already know thereís going to be a price for this mini-binge, aside from regaining that 1/2 pound I fought to lose.
The only strategy I have is to get back on track with my eating as best I can the rest of the day and really monitor my intake tomorrow, when I wonít have any luncheons or parties to sidetrack me.
Onward and downward (one day!)
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