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Self sabotage, dang it!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

This morning when I weighed in, I discovered that Iíve lost Ĺ a pound. I was elated because my weight loss has nearly plateaued. I have lost five pounds since early October. Iím exercising 3-4 times a week at best and have recently missed a few days of tracking my food.

This afternoon, I went to a luncheon and ordered a healthy entrťe. But when they brought out the desserts I lost my ever-loviní mind! I ate a huge slice of peppermint ice cream pie and five freshly baked cookies. Donít get me wrong, the food was absolutely delicious, but was it really necessary for me to turn into a human vacuum cleaner? Itís almost as if losing that Ĺ pound during the holiday season gave me the license to eat like it was my last day on earth. Whatís up with that?

To make matters worse, I have a holiday party to go to this evening, so no exercise and more tempting food. My body is not used to consuming such rich foods, so I already know thereís going to be a price for this mini-binge, aside from regaining that 1/2 pound I fought to lose.

The only strategy I have is to get back on track with my eating as best I can the rest of the day and really monitor my intake tomorrow, when I wonít have any luncheons or parties to sidetrack me.

Onward and downward (one day!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIBANANA 1/2/2013 6:12PM

  You have accomplished so much. A plateau will depress you though and make you feel "why not!" You will get by tomorrow and then I am sure with your history you will get back on track!


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ALLISON145 12/12/2012 10:14PM

    I'm struggling too, so I understand. The holidays are tough all the way around, but you can do this!

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NIKKICOLE83 12/11/2012 5:46PM

    I had a crazy week last week and a lot of luncheons and dinners since my co-workers from out of town were in. I was so nervous to weigh-in because of what I was eating. I made sure to down water like it was my job and I continued to workout at night. SUprisingly when I weighed in at the end of the week, I was 1.6 lbs down! I don't know what happened or why but I say continue to gorge water and keep working out. Enjoy yourself within reason and eat sensibly on the other days.

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X5X52000 12/11/2012 4:58PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KAKONOLADY 12/11/2012 4:33PM

    who knows maybe your body will surprise you and have a good loss thanks to the day of higher calories??? I ate like 4 servings of avacado tortilla chips yesterday and I stepped on the scale and was a pound down instead of going up!!- I work out 4-5 days a week too sometimes at lunch as well for an extra 30 minutes!!! Just shake it off and get back on track in the morning!!!

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CAKEMAKERMOM 12/11/2012 4:15PM

    Eh, it happens. Try to eat something healthy before you go so you're less tempted to snack all night at the party (it sounds like a snacky type of party?) and then you'll know you've had some good real food in you before you go.

Start over every day!

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SPERRIN2012 12/11/2012 3:52PM

    Doesn't sound to me like things are that bad. we all have special events to go to this time of the year so don't be too concerned with the holiday season. Just make the best decisions for yourself.

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OHANAMAMA 12/11/2012 3:49PM

    first of all, don't beat yourself up over this. I can fluctuate 1/2 pound within a few hours! :) You have done amazingly overall, so a little slip up won't ruin it all... set yourself a mindful goal for the party, and then hop right back on track right after. Maybe if it's not too late, go for a walk after the party to let yourself and your body know that the "treat time" is over. :) emoticon

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My day of focus and visualization

Monday, December 03, 2012

Yesterday, I spent hours just mentally focusing on my goal to drop the remaining 17 pounds. How did I do this?

1) I read LOTS of success stories and watched inspiration videos on youtube. One of my favorite links is about a girl who lost 150 pounds! You can view her latest vlog here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0US2AbQpxA&

2) I created a montage of me during my weight loss journey with the header "50 pounds down, 17 to go, you can do it!!" I printed it out and posted it on my fridge. I also printed out my favorite SP quotes for posting around my home.

3) I read a few magazine articles and a couple of e-books on motivation.

4) I revisited ALL of the reasons why I want to lose this weight and thought hard about what my life would've been like now if I had continued to keep my head buried in the sand this year. Would I have gained another 20 pounds? What would I have looked like? What size would I be wearing? How would I have felt about myself? Would I have ended up diabetic?

5) I thought long and hard about how my weight had been affecting me physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Do I want to return to that life?

6) Instead of going to the gym, I took my dog for a hike at a nearby dog park. It was good to be outdoors in sunny 65 degree weather and doing something different for exercise. Changing up my routine helped me move for the pleasure of moving, not because it's something I'm supposed to do.

7) I created a list of 15 healthy meals--five meals per course and began developing a shopping list.

8) I planned what I would be eating today and focused on ways I could cut my calorie intake without feeling deprived.

9) Instead of moping about these pesky 3-4 pounds I can't seem to lose this month, I just accepted that my body is going to lose weight when it's ready to--not when I'm ready to. It just let go of 50 pounds! I focused on accepting that my body is using this plateau to make further adjustments before it will release more weight. Understanding this calmed me down a bit.

10) I mentally replayed all the compliments that I've gotten on my appearance so I could take ownership of my hard work and pat myself on the back.

The day I spent reading, thinking, visualizing, praying and meditating has already paid off. Today was one of the most disciplined, focused days I've had in awhile.

What I've learned is that some of the hokey-sounding activities that experts recommend for motivation really do work. I believe it was worthwhile for me to embrace the spiritual aspect of what I'm doing. Its such an important ingredient in motivation that it's impossible to move forward without it.

Onward and downward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

X5X52000 12/4/2012 4:20PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DIBANANA 12/4/2012 4:08PM

  Magnificient! Something everyone needs to do. You have done the head work and now your body will realize you mean business! 17 to go! WOO HOO

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MOBYCARP 12/4/2012 8:40AM

    "What I've learned is that some of the hokey-sounding activities that experts recommend for motivation really do work."

Yup. If the stupid motivational tricks work, maybe they aren't so stupid?

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KRISZTA11 12/4/2012 1:43AM

    A very good way to get refocused and motivated!

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If this was easy, then everyone would be thin

Friday, November 30, 2012

How many times do I need to remind myself, "If this was easy, then everyone would be thin." Staying focused during the holiday season is tough work. I feel like I'm in control, but not enough to really lose any weight. Instead, I've plateaued back and forth between the same two pounds. This time around, my plateau is not much of a mystery. I'm struggling for several reasons, which I'll list below:

1. I only have 15-25 pounds to lose. In order to lose more weight I will need to make more changes to my eating and exercise. Am I prepared to make these changes? My motivation to do so waxes and wanes.

2. It's the holiday season. Enough said about that.

3. It's harder to exercise. I usually drive to the gym after work. Now, it's dark when I get off work and all I want to do is go home and curl up on the couch with a good book, a cup of tea and a warm tv. Also, exercising outdoors is not an option on most days.

4. I'm hungrier (yikes!) Is it my body fighting what it believes is a famine, or is there something I'm eating that's increasing my appetite? I don't know, but this is a problem.

5. I'm having a hard time escaping the mentality of needing to lose X pounds a month, so I end up frustrated and impatient.

6. My sense of urgency is gone. I'm looking good and in better health, which is causing me to coast a little because I worked hard for 10 months.

I know my weight loss journey is not over and my doctor agrees. My BMI is 27. My waist is still a disappointing 36", which is keeping me out of a solid size 10. All 15-20 of my extra pounds are around my middle. Although my blood sugar is normal, I'm still pre-diabetic. My doctor says I have "inflammation." My health is still at risk.

The only thing I'm keeping in mind, if I'm correct, is that Jennifer Hudson didn't lose her weight in one year. I think it took her nearly two years. I remember when she went from "thick" to "average." At 5'9", she looked like she had gone from a size 16 to about a 10. Then, in year two, she started to look "slender." I estimate she went from a 10 to about a four. Now, I'm not trying to be a size four, but it helps to know that when you have a lot of weight to lose, sometimes it's going to take longer than a year.

I don't think I'm going to hit the weight loss goal I set for December 31. I'm bouncing between 2 and 4 pounds away.

What I'm thinking about doing is just calling this "plateau" my maintenance phase, then get aggressive in January, when the rest of the U.S.A. is dieting. Maybe do a two week "jumpstart diet" to whisk away some weight real fast and reignite my motivation.

Like the saying goes, "It's hard to lose weight, it's hard to maintain, it's hard to be fat, choose your hard."

Just for now, I chose to stick with my baby steps and do the best I can each day, even if it doesn't show up on the scale.

Onward and (one day) downward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIRFA71 12/2/2012 1:51PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITMOM1969 12/2/2012 3:49AM

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X5X52000 12/1/2012 2:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SKEPCHICK 12/1/2012 10:35AM

  Acknowledging the difficulty is always a good idea. Weight management is complex and 'eat less and move more' only goes so far.

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XANGELSTEARZX 12/1/2012 10:21AM

    I've been struggling with the wanting to curl up on the couch, feeling hungrier, and avoiding the cool air too! Glad to know that other people are feeling the side effects of this season. Except I've got to fight to stay motivated I'm still on the beginning end of my journey. I wish you luck and your blogs are also so inspirational and down to the truth.

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MRFUZZ 12/1/2012 9:58AM

    I agree with everything you said. You summed it up well. emoticon emoticon

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Wanna Lose Weight in 2013? Start Where You Are.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

I've been making new year's resolutions most of my life. Typically, my resolve is gone by Valentine's day and I'm back into old habits. In January of 2012, like many years in the past, I resolved to lose weight. Now, 2012 is almost gone and I'm 50 pounds thinner.

How did I manage to stay consistent all this time? When I really think about it, it's because I started where I was. Instead of turning myself inside out to "follow" a particular diet, I took a "diet" and turned it inside out to follow me. The habits I've developed with the help of Sparkpeople are healthful habits but they are also uniquely mine.

It's one thing to follow an eating plan, its another thing to bring it to you, mold it, adapt it and make it yours. I remember Weight Watchers back in the old days when foods were "legal" and "illegal". Weight Watchers doesn't do that any more. Why? Because there's no such thing as "legal" and "illegal" foods. It's just food. As part of the human condition, we all have a certain calorie budget. Go over it, we gain. Stay under it, we lose. How we allocate those calories is totally up to us. We could choose to spend our budget eating ice cream all day, but that makes no sense because our bodies require certain nutrients. Therefore, we know we must spend our calories wisely by choosing more nutrient dense foods more often. And therein lies the secret; chose the nutrient dense foods more often.

So I looked at my food habits and instead of focusing on my bad habits, I focused on identifying my good habits plus building a plan around foods and activities I enjoyed. For example:

*I enjoy preparing this unfried chicken recipe I found in an old Oprah magazine. [This is a healthy recipe. Keep it in your new eating plan.]

*I like broccoli, greens, green beans, tossed salads. [ All these foods are good for you, so keep them in your new eating plan.]

*I enjoy hamburgers and love barbecue ribs. [No problem. These foods are also welcome in the new eating plan. ]

*I like cake and ice cream. [Hey, believe it or not, there's room for these foods in the new eating plan.]

I did the same thing with my activity. I took inventory of what was available to me and what I was already enjoying.

*I don't exercise much, but I don't mind walking. [Fine, then walking is part of your plan.]

*I have an old stationary cycle in the garage. [Good, dust if off and cycle 10 minutes while you watch tv.]

*When I was young, I used to enjoy lifting weights. [Excellent! You should join a gym.]

*I have an exercise on-demand channel and some old tae-bo DVDs. [Good deal, let's find a way to include them.]

My next challenge focused on knocking out my two worst habits: inactivity and dining out. What were the barriers that were keeping these habits in place?

* I don't have time to exercise. [What are your options?]
1. I can get up in the morning. [You're a night owl; this only works on the weekends]
2. I can exercise at lunch. [Take an extra pair of sneakers and stash them in your office]
3. I can workout in the evening. [Go to the gym]

I actually entered appointments on my calendar designating my workout times. I prefer exercising in the evenings, but if the weather's nice, I'll grab my sneakers and walk outside during my lunch break. On Saturdays or Sundays I get up in the morning and go to the gym or walk.

And with dining out, I started packing my lunch more often and I looked up nutrition information at my favorite dining haunts and ordered the more nutrient-dense food 90% of the time.

But most importantly of all, I gave it time. This was and still is, the hardest part. It took me 10 months to lose 50 pounds. I still have another 17-20 pounds to go to hit my goal, which most likely won't happen until April or May.

Losing weight is like gardening. You don't plant the bulbs on a Sunday in October and get flowers on a Monday in November. You have to wait until March.

Losing weight is also like pregnancy. Just because no one else can see that you are pregnant, doesn't mean you're not pregnant. Just because no one else can see that you're thinner, doesn't mean you are not thinner. Eventually, the months go by, your body changes and everybody becomes aware.

When I was a teen, the longest I could "diet" was two weeks. It was two weeks of giving up all of my favorite foods and undereating because it was "good for me." Inevitably, I would "slip up" eat something "illegal" and then abandon the entire diet. Lots of us are still locked in that mentality and it's a harmful mindset. Time to let it go.

Above all, stop listening to those folks who are promoting fad diets. I'm old enough to have seen some version of all of them. Most of them are either extremely low-calorie or exclude entire food groups. Too extreme and not sustainable. The reality is that there are no quick fixes. But, with a sustainable plan, time and patience, you will eventually arrive at your destination.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XANGELSTEARZX 11/27/2012 11:43AM

    Thanks for sharing!

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SONYALATRECE 11/26/2012 8:24PM

    Knowledge is power!

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RUSSELLORAMA 11/26/2012 10:34AM

    emoticon Thanks for the good, solid advice!

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RESTORED_ME 11/25/2012 11:15PM

    Thanks for yoru wisdom!!!

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MOBYCARP 11/25/2012 8:50PM

    Good blog. For the long term, sustainable is the absolutely most important thing. Something sustainable that moves you in the right direction is much better than something unsustainable that moves you in the right direction at optimum speed.

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KRISZTA11 11/25/2012 2:58PM

    Your plan is great!
It is for long term, realistic, sustainable - and enjoyable too!

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X5X52000 11/25/2012 2:28PM


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Size 10 on the horizon!!

Friday, November 23, 2012

In the last couple of weeks I've noticed that some of my size 12 pants are starting to bag a little. Two pair I cannot wear without a belt and another pair, which has no loops, are so big in the waist, I need a safety pin to take in the waistband. (Tacky, I know, but I really like the pants.) I also have another pair of blue size 12 pants I bought a couple of months ago that still fit but just don't look quite right. emoticon

So this week, I went to the store to try on pants. I selected a pair that I liked and took a size 10 AND a size 12 to the dressing room. I hid the sizes so that I wouldn't know which pair I was trying on first. Only after I slid on the first pair and zipped and buttoned them did I look at the tag and realize I was wearing a size 10. I stared at my image in the mirror in disbelief. Last year at this time, I was wearing size 16W's and 18's. Now, I could actually put on a size 10! emoticon

I tried on several pairs of pants and concluded that I am in between sizes. The only thing keeping me out of a size 10 is my belly. I am opting to wait until after I've lost another 7 pounds before I start buying pants in a smaller size. In the meantime, I will need to keep wearing belts with my pants and put away the ones that need a safety pin.

Onward and downward! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RESTORED_ME 11/25/2012 12:43AM

    Here's a way to keep things moving in the right direction since we all want to stay fit and motivated during the busy (and calorie-filled) holiday season by pledging to run at least one mile every day, Thanksgiving through New Year's.

Pledge to run/walk at least one mile every day, from Thanksgiving (that's Thursday, November 22) through New Year's Day. Track your mileage and keep it moving!

For more info see:

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X5X52000 11/24/2012 3:29PM


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SKEPCHICK 11/24/2012 11:12AM

  Yay! Time to go shopping

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JACKIE542 11/24/2012 9:17AM

    Congratulations! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LABRATIAM 11/24/2012 7:40AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ARCHIMEDESII 11/24/2012 6:26AM


That's great news. Shopping for clothes is never easy. size 10 in Ralph Lauren is different from a size 10 in Old Navy which is different from a size 10 in Levi's. You may find you fit a size 10 in one brand and a size 12 in another. It makes me crazy. So, don't let it make you crazy either.


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KRISZTA11 11/24/2012 5:18AM


There is one good thing in being between sizes: wearing the now-too-big clothes always made me aware how thin I got ; )


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DEL-AND-COMPANY 11/24/2012 4:09AM

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SAXYSAI 11/23/2012 11:32PM

    Awesome!!! Great job!!! emoticon

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