Friday, June 29, 2012
Yesterday afternoon, the Devil tried to steal my joy. At work, I thought we'd missed a critical deadline and it stressed out me AND my boss. Eventually, I found evidence that we didn't and all was well, but by the end of the workday, I had only eaten 500 calories which is unusual.
I arrived home physically anxious and mentally exhausted. Plus I was absolutely ravenous. I ended up consuming 1,200 calories at one sitting! Although my total intake was 1,700 for the day I learned a couple of things.
1) EAT your breakfast, lunch and snacks. I was going to leave for lunch, but couldn't because of the fire I was putting out. Thus, I only ate a few pistachios out of a package in my desk.
2) DON'T let yourself get too hungry. I was in a hurry to get to the doctor's office on time yesterday morning and only had time for 8 oz of juice for breakfast.
3) FIND something else to do with the stress. I should've eaten a light snack and, if I felt too tired for vigorous exercise before dinner, grabbed my headphones and gone mall walking. Or, I should've cleaned house.
Looking back, it was the perfect storm and I responded by returning to my old stress-eating patterns. Today, I'm doing much better with my eating plan. My appetite is normal and I'm feeling much more at ease. Lesson learned.
Onward and downward.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Went to the doctor's today, weighed in and got my blood pressure checked. My blood pressure has dropped from 150/80 in April to 110/70. When they gave me that new number, I was grinning from ear to ear. I've succeeded in lowering my blood pressure through diet and exercise! The scale also confirmed I'd lost 14 pounds since my April appointment.
It's nice to know that I'm changing on the inside as much as on the outside. Very cool! As a prediabetic, I am due to get my blood sugar checked in the next month or so. Hopefully, the news about my blood sugar will be just as good.
So happy right now, I could do a cartwheel!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
No, not Herman Cain's tax plan, but the elation one feels when they weigh themselves and the last digit on the scale is a "9." 139, 159, 189, 209, 239. For me, when my weight ends in a "9", it gives me a sense of accomplishment and progress.
In addition, "9" is the number of pounds I have left before I hit my second mini-goal; to lose a total of 42 pounds by the end of August.
This afternoon, I attended a weight loss support group that my employer started up as part of their wellness program. The facilitator described in graphic detail what happens to your body when your arteries are so clogged with plaque that it cuts off the oxygen supply to your brain or heart. If it happens to your heart, of course, that's a heart attack. If it happens to your brain, it's a stroke. What's scary is that once the plaque is there, you can't do anything to reverse it. You can stop adding plaque, but whatever you already have in your arteries will be there the rest of your life. Dang.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I've added a link to a retro Jazzy Spies Sesame Street video. If you were a child when this first aired, you are either a baby boomer or a gen-x er, like me. I'm a nostalgic person, so I really got a kick out of seeing it again.
Onward and downward!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Wikipedia's definition of schaudenfreude is "pleasure derived from the misfortune of others." This week (God forgive me) I have a terrific case of schaudenfreude.
In 2010, I was pushed out of a previous position for reasons unrelated to my job performance, competence, relationships with coworkers or attitude toward my work. I wrote about the situation in an earlier blog where I referred to my former boss as "Miranda". (AKA The Devil Wears Prada). Without posting the new position, she brought in "Ruby"-- a less qualified, less educated person, paid her twice my salary, assigned her half of my responsibilities and installed her as my new supervisor. Yeah, I know, pretty vicious. And worse, "Ruby" behaved like an outsized diva, bullying me and her other direct reports.
After five years of job satisfaction, I abruptly left this toxic environment. My former co-workers and I wondered how long this new "marriage" between Miranda and Ruby would last. Six months? Eight months? I estimated eighteen months.
We got our answer last week. Twenty-two months. Ruby's staff threatened to mutiny, management investigated and fired Ruby on the spot. She had a major tantrum, yelling and cursing at one of the managers as security escorted her out of the building. Now, Miranda is facing a major project with a fall deadline and has no help. She will have to pay thousands of dollars for a consultant to complete the project.
Maybe schadenfreude is sinful, but hey, I'm human. I really have faith that you reap what you sow. If you treat others in the workplace with disdain, arrogance and disrespect, eventually it catches up with you. Hearing this story from former co-workers just cracked me up.
Okay, time to wipe the smirk off my face and get on with my day.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
If you are an emotional or stress eater like I am, each pound that you've gained over the years probably symbolizes some transition or life event. Maybe it was relocation, graduation, marriage, divorce, death of a friend or family member, or other traumatic event. Or it could simply be a mundane lifestyle change or too many dinners out. Combine the weight gain with failed diet and exercise programs and you end up cloaked in multiple layers of fat.
I'll give you examples.
As a teenager in middle school, I was enrolled in P.E. class, a cheerleader, played softball and ran track. I walked two miles home from school nearly every day. I weighed 135 pounds.
Then I graduated middle school and started high school. I ditched most of the extra curricular activities and took the bus home from school. I gained 20 pounds and weighed 155. Did I ever take this off? No.
Then my family relocated from the midwest to the east coast. I became homesick and spent lots of time at home watching MTV. By graduation, I weighed 170. Then I left for college.
I was much more active in college. My dorm room was on the fourth floor in a building with no elevators. I walked to classes every day. I jogged and worked out at the gym with friends. My weight settled in at 155 lbs.
My last year, I moved off campus and took a part-time job at a fast food restaurant. I rode the bus to campus and ate lots of free burgers and fries. My weight returned to 170.
After graduation, I fell in love and got married. I dieted and exercised to look good for my wedding. I weighed 155. Got pregnant and had my daughter. My weight returned to 155. Then I got divorced....one year later, met another guy and fell in love...that relationship fizzed. Two years after the divorce I weighed 180.
Four years later, my grandparents died...
Then I accepted a new job and relocated....
Six years later, I lost my job....
Well, you get the idea. Being an emotional and stress eater, I gained weight with each life event and, with one exception 10 years ago, never took it off. Now, as I drop the weight, I'm once again confronting what originally caused the weight gain.
Right now, I've just lost the 20 pounds I gained while I was unemployed last year. I've also lost 10 of the 20 pounds I gained when my grandparents died. I now have 35 pounds left to lose; The balance of the weight I gained after losing my grandparents plus the 25 pounds I gained after my divorce.
The 20 pounds I gained after middle school? No plans to lose it, because I'm in my 40s and don't want to look boyish or angular. I believe that when you're older and lose too much weight, it draws fat from your face and ages you.
My granny died 10 years ago and my divorce was 20 years ago. It's time for me to stop carrying around these events on my body. Wouldn't you agree?
What are you carrying around? Are you carrying the events from your past into your present? Maybe it's just weight you gained from happy times---delivering a baby, a series of hot dates at fancy restaurants, weeks of graduation celebrations? Heaven forbid, if it's from something truly traumatic, please see a therapist and face those issues. Whatever it is, at some point the fat is visible baggage from the past and needs to go.
Onward and downward.
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