Sunday, April 29, 2012
Yesterday, I mysteriously gained 1.5 lbs. I blogged about the self talk I used to prevent getting too discouraged. I read about the primary causes of weight gain while on program and realized that I needed to drink more water.
I spent all day yesterday sipping water. I didn't track it like I'm supposed to, but I know I had at least six cups, maybe more. I also made numerous trips to the bathroom.
Today, when I woke up, my entire body was sore and achy from yesterday's Zumba class and half hour in the weight room. I decided to weigh in, not expecting to see a change.
When the two pound loss registered, I rejoiced. Not only did the 1.5 lbs disappear, but it whisked away an additional half pound. Yay!
Since resuming SP in January, I have now dropped 25 lbs. I averaged 1.5 lbs a week, but in reality it was more like my experience this week; two steps forward and one step back. But the overall trend is down, so I'm still on the right track.
My next goal is to drop at least 20 lbs by August 31st. So I have May, June, July and August. Five pounds a month is doable. By then, I will be a solid size 14.
Patience, Patience, Patience. In time the grass becomes milk.
Onward and downward.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
This morning when I weighed in, I learned that I gained 1.5 lbs. I am offering you a peek into my stream of consciousness reaction. Ready? Here goes:
Wow! I weigh--what? How did this happen?
I must've eaten something too salty. Must've been that stir fried chicken and vegetables I fixed last night. The soy sauce.
Well, dammit--how long is this going to take to go away? Probably a week or two but it's going to feel like forever!
Why is this so hard to do? I've failed so many times at it. What do I do next?
You STAY on program. That's what you do. Quit whining and being such a baby about it. You've read the blogs, books and articles. EVERYONE who is trying to lose weight goes through this.
Maybe it's the weight training. Maybe my body's muscles are retaining water.....
You HAVE to stay on program. What choice is there? You know where the other path leads. Kinda like Morpheus telling Neo in the Matrix "You've been down that road. You know where it leads."
So if you stop now, then you end up diabetic and disabled. Is that what you want?
Then stay on program. Trust the program.
You KNOW you've managed your eating the best you could.
You KNOW you've exercised five times this week and have started lifting weights.
You DID eat at the higher range of your calories yesterday.
You KNOW you gain weight this T.O.M.--every month, but here you are whining.
Just stop, stop. You are worse than a toddler.
If this was easy then no one would be fat. Stay on program, stay focused and do what you have to do.
Your work will show up on the scale eventually. You could jump on the scale in the next week or two and find three or four pounds gone.
So be patient. Ok?
So there you have it, raw, stream of consciousness self-talk. Whew! I feel better already.
Onward and downward.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
May will be my fifth month on SP. Although, I'm still far from perfect, I've noticed several changes I've made that are becoming more like habits:
1. I don't eat out as much. I used to eat lunch out almost every day. Now, I pack a lunch. When I do eat out, I try to plan ahead.
2. I don't order fattening sides with my fattening barbeque. Sorry, when you live in Kansas City, barbeque is a fifth food group. I refuse to give this up, so I compromise by alternating between ribs and chicken and ordering veggies instead of baked beans and potato salad.
3. I started exercising 10 minutes on my stationary cycle at home. Then, I joined a gym and set a goal to go about 2-3x a week. Initially, I'd pop in, work out and leave in 30 minutes. Gradually, the 30 minutes morphed into an hour. I added strength training about a month ago.
4. I quit beating myself up over lapses. Sometimes, I WANT to eat a hot dog at a baseball game, or I WANT to celebrate a birthday with a piece of cake. Life goes on and it's punishing to deny myself in those situations. So, I indulge and make it up later on.
5. I learned to appreciate those half-pound and one-pound losses. It doesn't seem like much at the time, but it's kind of like saving money. Those nickels and dimes add up.
6. I'm mentally settling in for the long haul. Because I'm prediabetic, the changes I make need to be both attainable and sustainable. If I can't sustain the changes, I will end up returning to bad habits when life gets tough.
7. I'm much more focused now than I was in January. Before, my motivation was worry and fear--not excitement. Now, I've started to see results, which is fun.
8. To stay motivated, I am eating, sleeping and breathing SP. I read books and articles on nutrition and fitness, I read other people's blogs, I read success stories. I buy fitness magazines and read online websites about health and nutrition. Pouring all this information in my head keeps me focused.
9. I've enlisted the support of friends on SP, offline friends, and my family. I am almost ready to talk to my co-workers, but am looking for the right opportunity.
10. I visualize my new appearance; how I move, what I will wear, how I look and feel. I keep this vision in my mind's eye every day.
All of these examples are things that have changed in the first four months. Nothing happened overnight, so I'm learning to be patient. I know I have more to learn and more improvements to make, but I'm on my way to a healthier me!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Just when I was dancing around and patting myself on the back for losing 24 pounds, I went to the store yesterday and ended up trying on swimsuits.
I didn't have a particular reason, I was actually there to buy new pants, but on my way to the dressing room, I grabbed a couple of swimsuits and brought them with me.
What's so disturbing about trying on swimsuits is that you have to undress in front of those godawful 3-way mirrors, so you see yourself at every angle. Hmph. I thought I looked bad in the studio mirrors in step aerobics class; the dressing room experience was ghastly. I looked like a damn chocolate-covered Michelin man--LOL!
The pain of being overweight is back with a vengance. Thanks to this little episode, I stayed focused on my eating and exercise plan all weekend.
Next time my motivation is lagging, I'm taking my behind to the store to try on more swimsuits.
Onward and downward.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
For me, it's hard to feel confident in any clothing size over a 14. I'm 5'7", so a size 14 looks pretty good on me. At a size 14, I'm "thick" or "phat". I'm curvy but not flabby. Despite this, I really think I will look my best at a size 10 or 12.
At a size 12, I'm "average." Not too fat, not too thin. It's the size I was from ages 18 to about 28. I still have curves, but my stomach is flat.
When I first grew to 5'7" at age 14, I weighed 129 lbs, but thought I was fat and my family agreed. I went to a weight watchers meeting and they said my ideal weight was 118 to 121 pounds. Wow! I wore a juniors size 11 or misses size 12.
At 15 I weighed 135. I walked 2 miles home from school every day, played softball, was a cheerleader and on the track team. I had a boyish, angular figure with few curves.
At 16 my family moved across the country. I took a bus to school and did not exercise. I gained 20 lbs and weighed 155.
At 18 I briefly dropped to 140 and a solid size 10. My waist measured about 26". For the first time in my life I didn't feel fat.
At 24 I weighed 155 and was a solid size 12.
Before I got married, my mother let me try on her size 12 wedding dress. I couldn't even slide it over my hips. A size 12 in the 1960s, is about a size 8 today.
At 28, I was divorced, working full time, raising a toddler and taking 6 hours of classes in the evenings. I had no time for much else. I weighed 180. I mostly wore size 14s.
In my 30's my weight was all over the place. I ranged from 155 to 200. My wardrobe was mostly 14s and 16s with a few 12's.
In my 40's my weight ranges from 185 to more than 200. Most of my wardrobe is size 16W, 16 and a few 14's. I have the figure of an apple; most of my weight is in my gut. Probably from stress.
For me, I think it will make sense to see how I feel in every clothing size. If I'm happy at a 14 and I'm a size I can maintain, then I should be a 14. But at a size 14, I can weigh anywhere from 165 to 190, and because I'm prediabetic, my weight might not be low enough to prevent its onset.
I know from experience, that a size 12 is more reasonable. At a 12, I usually weigh between 150 and 165. I think size 12 and 155 is a good place. It was a weight I maintained for many years, it's at a healthy BMI, and for me to weigh 155 in my 40s is probably comparable to weighing 140 in my teens and 20s.
Onward and downward.
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