Saturday, April 21, 2012
For me, it's hard to feel confident in any clothing size over a 14. I'm 5'7", so a size 14 looks pretty good on me. At a size 14, I'm "thick" or "phat". I'm curvy but not flabby. Despite this, I really think I will look my best at a size 10 or 12.
At a size 12, I'm "average." Not too fat, not too thin. It's the size I was from ages 18 to about 28. I still have curves, but my stomach is flat.
When I first grew to 5'7" at age 14, I weighed 129 lbs, but thought I was fat and my family agreed. I went to a weight watchers meeting and they said my ideal weight was 118 to 121 pounds. Wow! I wore a juniors size 11 or misses size 12.
At 15 I weighed 135. I walked 2 miles home from school every day, played softball, was a cheerleader and on the track team. I had a boyish, angular figure with few curves.
At 16 my family moved across the country. I took a bus to school and did not exercise. I gained 20 lbs and weighed 155.
At 18 I briefly dropped to 140 and a solid size 10. My waist measured about 26". For the first time in my life I didn't feel fat.
At 24 I weighed 155 and was a solid size 12.
Before I got married, my mother let me try on her size 12 wedding dress. I couldn't even slide it over my hips. A size 12 in the 1960s, is about a size 8 today.
At 28, I was divorced, working full time, raising a toddler and taking 6 hours of classes in the evenings. I had no time for much else. I weighed 180. I mostly wore size 14s.
In my 30's my weight was all over the place. I ranged from 155 to 200. My wardrobe was mostly 14s and 16s with a few 12's.
In my 40's my weight ranges from 185 to more than 200. Most of my wardrobe is size 16W, 16 and a few 14's. I have the figure of an apple; most of my weight is in my gut. Probably from stress.
For me, I think it will make sense to see how I feel in every clothing size. If I'm happy at a 14 and I'm a size I can maintain, then I should be a 14. But at a size 14, I can weigh anywhere from 165 to 190, and because I'm prediabetic, my weight might not be low enough to prevent its onset.
I know from experience, that a size 12 is more reasonable. At a 12, I usually weigh between 150 and 165. I think size 12 and 155 is a good place. It was a weight I maintained for many years, it's at a healthy BMI, and for me to weigh 155 in my 40s is probably comparable to weighing 140 in my teens and 20s.
Onward and downward.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Last night, I was talking to my grown daughter about my weight. I told her that I had tried on my size 14 pants a couple of weeks ago and was able to zip and button them, but they were too tight to wear. She urged me to try them on again. I did and to my surprise, they fit!! I wore them to work this morning.
Tomorrow, I have shopping to do. None of my size 16Ws (18M) look right on me and I have almost nothing in a size 16 or 14, because I haven't fit a 14 in over two or three years. I plan to visit a few consignment shops and buy some new pants.
Needless to say, I'm thrilled with the results, but I still have a ways to go. I still have a BMI in the obese category. Once I lose seven more pounds, I will no longer be obese; I'll be overweight. I also have my prediabetes to consider--I have to continue to build healthier habits so that I can stave off diabetes.
Nevertheless, for today---I dance!! Woo-hoo!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Yesterday, I took a step aerobics class for the first time in years. I used a step without risers and did the best I could to keep up with the class.
What was so remarkable to me, was that every wall in the studio had full length mirrors so I could see my body at every angle. I was really surprised at the image looking back at me.
For some reason, I have a snapshot in my mind of what I look like and it seldom changes. The image I saw in the mirror yesterday was much heavier. There was one other woman in the class who was overweight, but not nearly as big. Despite my 24 lb weight loss, the image in the mirror reminded me that I still have a long ways to go before I can be an "average" size.
I wasn't upset or emotional about this revelation, but just disappointed at how much I've been neglecting my health and well-being and putting work, family, etc. ahead of my health.
Well, it's a new day and I'm changing all of that. I'm doing everything I can to be focused.
One day, I'll take the class in that studio again and will be delighted with the image in that mirror.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
How many times have we read on SP and in magazines that living a healthier lifestyle is not a sprint but a marathon and that we are all turtles and not rabbits.
Although we recognize this intellectually, why is this concept so difficult to internalize? We want results immediately and if we can't get them right away, we quit!
That's me. I was reading my past blogs and in both January of 2010 and 2011, I launched a new eating plan, amped up the exercise and plunged into all these new habits at once, in an effort to sprint to the finish line as soon as possible. But, by March or so, one of life's curveballs would hit me between the eyes and I'd stop doing everything. Why? Because they weren't HABITS.
Yesterday, I also realized that as the end of April draws near, that I now have broken a record for consistency. May will represent Month 5 of healthier habits. And what do I have to show for it? A new clothing size (from an 18 to a 16) and 24 pounds gone.
These results didn't come overnight, but are the culmination of all the good, mediocre and poor days I've had while striving to replace bad habits with good ones. I wasn't always rewarded on the scale for good behavior, but I also wasn't penalized on the scale when I screwed up.
I am one pound away from weighing the least I've weighed in two years. Now, I appreciate the time it took because it really helped me understand on an EMOTIONAL level, that this is indeed a marathon and not a sprint.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
I found out this morning, that my HbA1C is up. The HbA1c is a blood test that measures your sugar. If it is 5.70 to 6.49, then you are prediabetic. Anything over 6.49 is diabetic.
In January, my result was 6.1. This morning, my result came in at 6.2, so even though I've dropped 20 lbs, it's still trending up.
Now here's evidence that some type of health care reform is needed. The doctor said that most insurance companies won't pay for you to see a nutritionist if you are prediabetic, but they will pay if you are fully diabetic. Now, wouldn't you think that it would be cheaper for them to pay for a few nutritionist visits for a prediabetic versus paying for all the expenses that would be incurred by someone with diabetes. Just crazy.
Anyway, the results have sharpened my resolve to keep on keepin' on. I've told my entire family about my goal to lose 20 lbs by August 31st. They are all in my corner and cheering me on. I've resolved to beat this and bring my HbA1c down to normal levels.
Onward and downward.
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