Tuesday, April 24, 2012
May will be my fifth month on SP. Although, I'm still far from perfect, I've noticed several changes I've made that are becoming more like habits:
1. I don't eat out as much. I used to eat lunch out almost every day. Now, I pack a lunch. When I do eat out, I try to plan ahead.
2. I don't order fattening sides with my fattening barbeque. Sorry, when you live in Kansas City, barbeque is a fifth food group. I refuse to give this up, so I compromise by alternating between ribs and chicken and ordering veggies instead of baked beans and potato salad.
3. I started exercising 10 minutes on my stationary cycle at home. Then, I joined a gym and set a goal to go about 2-3x a week. Initially, I'd pop in, work out and leave in 30 minutes. Gradually, the 30 minutes morphed into an hour. I added strength training about a month ago.
4. I quit beating myself up over lapses. Sometimes, I WANT to eat a hot dog at a baseball game, or I WANT to celebrate a birthday with a piece of cake. Life goes on and it's punishing to deny myself in those situations. So, I indulge and make it up later on.
5. I learned to appreciate those half-pound and one-pound losses. It doesn't seem like much at the time, but it's kind of like saving money. Those nickels and dimes add up.
6. I'm mentally settling in for the long haul. Because I'm prediabetic, the changes I make need to be both attainable and sustainable. If I can't sustain the changes, I will end up returning to bad habits when life gets tough.
7. I'm much more focused now than I was in January. Before, my motivation was worry and fear--not excitement. Now, I've started to see results, which is fun.
8. To stay motivated, I am eating, sleeping and breathing SP. I read books and articles on nutrition and fitness, I read other people's blogs, I read success stories. I buy fitness magazines and read online websites about health and nutrition. Pouring all this information in my head keeps me focused.
9. I've enlisted the support of friends on SP, offline friends, and my family. I am almost ready to talk to my co-workers, but am looking for the right opportunity.
10. I visualize my new appearance; how I move, what I will wear, how I look and feel. I keep this vision in my mind's eye every day.
All of these examples are things that have changed in the first four months. Nothing happened overnight, so I'm learning to be patient. I know I have more to learn and more improvements to make, but I'm on my way to a healthier me!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Just when I was dancing around and patting myself on the back for losing 24 pounds, I went to the store yesterday and ended up trying on swimsuits.
I didn't have a particular reason, I was actually there to buy new pants, but on my way to the dressing room, I grabbed a couple of swimsuits and brought them with me.
What's so disturbing about trying on swimsuits is that you have to undress in front of those godawful 3-way mirrors, so you see yourself at every angle. Hmph. I thought I looked bad in the studio mirrors in step aerobics class; the dressing room experience was ghastly. I looked like a damn chocolate-covered Michelin man--LOL!
The pain of being overweight is back with a vengance. Thanks to this little episode, I stayed focused on my eating and exercise plan all weekend.
Next time my motivation is lagging, I'm taking my behind to the store to try on more swimsuits.
Onward and downward.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
For me, it's hard to feel confident in any clothing size over a 14. I'm 5'7", so a size 14 looks pretty good on me. At a size 14, I'm "thick" or "phat". I'm curvy but not flabby. Despite this, I really think I will look my best at a size 10 or 12.
At a size 12, I'm "average." Not too fat, not too thin. It's the size I was from ages 18 to about 28. I still have curves, but my stomach is flat.
When I first grew to 5'7" at age 14, I weighed 129 lbs, but thought I was fat and my family agreed. I went to a weight watchers meeting and they said my ideal weight was 118 to 121 pounds. Wow! I wore a juniors size 11 or misses size 12.
At 15 I weighed 135. I walked 2 miles home from school every day, played softball, was a cheerleader and on the track team. I had a boyish, angular figure with few curves.
At 16 my family moved across the country. I took a bus to school and did not exercise. I gained 20 lbs and weighed 155.
At 18 I briefly dropped to 140 and a solid size 10. My waist measured about 26". For the first time in my life I didn't feel fat.
At 24 I weighed 155 and was a solid size 12.
Before I got married, my mother let me try on her size 12 wedding dress. I couldn't even slide it over my hips. A size 12 in the 1960s, is about a size 8 today.
At 28, I was divorced, working full time, raising a toddler and taking 6 hours of classes in the evenings. I had no time for much else. I weighed 180. I mostly wore size 14s.
In my 30's my weight was all over the place. I ranged from 155 to 200. My wardrobe was mostly 14s and 16s with a few 12's.
In my 40's my weight ranges from 185 to more than 200. Most of my wardrobe is size 16W, 16 and a few 14's. I have the figure of an apple; most of my weight is in my gut. Probably from stress.
For me, I think it will make sense to see how I feel in every clothing size. If I'm happy at a 14 and I'm a size I can maintain, then I should be a 14. But at a size 14, I can weigh anywhere from 165 to 190, and because I'm prediabetic, my weight might not be low enough to prevent its onset.
I know from experience, that a size 12 is more reasonable. At a 12, I usually weigh between 150 and 165. I think size 12 and 155 is a good place. It was a weight I maintained for many years, it's at a healthy BMI, and for me to weigh 155 in my 40s is probably comparable to weighing 140 in my teens and 20s.
Onward and downward.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Last night, I was talking to my grown daughter about my weight. I told her that I had tried on my size 14 pants a couple of weeks ago and was able to zip and button them, but they were too tight to wear. She urged me to try them on again. I did and to my surprise, they fit!! I wore them to work this morning.
Tomorrow, I have shopping to do. None of my size 16Ws (18M) look right on me and I have almost nothing in a size 16 or 14, because I haven't fit a 14 in over two or three years. I plan to visit a few consignment shops and buy some new pants.
Needless to say, I'm thrilled with the results, but I still have a ways to go. I still have a BMI in the obese category. Once I lose seven more pounds, I will no longer be obese; I'll be overweight. I also have my prediabetes to consider--I have to continue to build healthier habits so that I can stave off diabetes.
Nevertheless, for today---I dance!! Woo-hoo!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Yesterday, I took a step aerobics class for the first time in years. I used a step without risers and did the best I could to keep up with the class.
What was so remarkable to me, was that every wall in the studio had full length mirrors so I could see my body at every angle. I was really surprised at the image looking back at me.
For some reason, I have a snapshot in my mind of what I look like and it seldom changes. The image I saw in the mirror yesterday was much heavier. There was one other woman in the class who was overweight, but not nearly as big. Despite my 24 lb weight loss, the image in the mirror reminded me that I still have a long ways to go before I can be an "average" size.
I wasn't upset or emotional about this revelation, but just disappointed at how much I've been neglecting my health and well-being and putting work, family, etc. ahead of my health.
Well, it's a new day and I'm changing all of that. I'm doing everything I can to be focused.
One day, I'll take the class in that studio again and will be delighted with the image in that mirror.
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