Sunday, October 21, 2012
I have been feeling rather emotional lately and I'm not completely sure why. I suppose it could be chaulked up to the fact that I am almost 34 weeks pregnant and hormones are simply running amuck with me! Still, it's not something I am generally comfortable with. I don't like feeling like I am not in control of my emotions.
I have been spending a lot of time thinking lately. Thinking about the future I want to start building and what steps I need to take in order to see it happen. It's difficult for me to slow down and think about things like this because I am so much of a doer. I want to see changes made yesterday rather than waiting for tomorrow! This gets me in trouble a lot as I don't plan things out properly and tend to jump in with both feet! Yeah...not always the best solution to things. So I am forcing myself to slow down and think about things and set up a goals list with steps to take. I will get to where I need to be in life, no doubt about it, I just have to be patient and truly know where that is first.
I think a big issue for me right now is the desire to move out of here and hubby's stubbornness towards it. He wants to move too but is much less interested in actually looking at places to move to and whenever I mention places I have found to rent in the area he always manages to find something wrong. I am currently feeling trapped where I live right now and there are a lot of negative emotions and feelings that seem to be trapped within the walls of our home. It's causing me a lot of frustration. I have tried clearing some energy and being happy with where we live to make the most of it but it's just not working for me. I wish I could get him to communicate more about it rather than to just have him shoot down every possibility I bring his way.
What I really need to start focusing on right now, more than anything, is finding peace and relaxation within myself. I have to let things go and stop being so impatient for things to happen. Things will happen in their own time, when they are meant to. I think a big thing that holds me back right now is my impatience for things to happen and a demand to see change so quickly.
Now, take smaller, slower steps.