Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Just a brief blog entry today. I ran across the recent comments of Robin Roberts (Good Morning, America), I wanted to get this down. Upon receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, she said: "When fear knocks, let faith answer the door." I want to remember that today. Strength to answer the door with faith GROWS WITH WORDS OF SUPPORT, and this is the fabric of the SP community. I am so glad to be here.
Monday, August 12, 2013
This day is the occasion of my 61st birthday. That, in itself, is sobering! (Like, how did this happen, really?) This isn't the happiest birthday, as I'm coming to terms with what appears will be a divorce. I did want some changes in my marriage and I have changed, but I didn't seek this outcome. I 'm trying to take one step a time and to be clear about this. What happened? Is this "for real"? Am I really seeing what is? I am choosing to NOT live in anger -- I want to be about a positive direction for me, our two young adult sons, and even for my husband.
I've really been moving in the direction of taking "extreme" care of myself over the last couple of years -- spiritually, emotionally, socially, and now physically. I need to do this even more. In the next few weeks I have an extremely busy work schedule. I'll try to meet deadlines and set reasonable self expectations. I will track, track, track, and be "on" SP as much as I can, I will exercise, make time with friends, and reconnect with some family members. I'm going to schedule a message for my birthday - a gift to myself. I can do this. I want to live well.
Friday, August 09, 2013
I am just moving slowly....nd I feel so sad and like I am in a bad dream. Walking in ways I don't want to walk but then,, I think I have to do this. There is so much out of my control, I just need to accept this, I know. I need to leave it with God and take the next step. Tracking is a priority; I cannot stop that. I am so sad. I need to rest. I need to exercise more -- I'm feeling this from the inside (when I started SP, I had such resistance to this).
There was a beautiful piece sung at our Wedding.
By George Herbert, to music by Vaughn Williams.
(from Five Mystical Songs)
Come, my Way, my Truth, my Life:
Such a way as gives us breath;
Such a truth as ends all strife,
Such a life as killeth death.
Come, my Light, my Feast, my Strength:
Such a light as shows a feast,
Such a feast as mends in length,
Such a strength as makes his guest.
Come, my Joy, my Love, my Heart:
Such a joy as none can move,
Such a love as none can part,
Such a heart as joys in love.
Becoming so heavy was a product of not really know how to love myself. I need to do that now.
Sunday, August 04, 2013
Until just very recently, in the morning, I would run past the mirror in the bathroom, looking at myself only to the extent I had to do so --and then with disdain. But, lately, I've come to see myself as beautiful. Right. Now. Today. I stop in front of the mirror and pause. I am grateful for my body and, most amazingly, notice its beauty. I have weight to lose -- about 100 pounds -- but here, now, today, I am accepting my whole self and I never thought this was really possible. So, I notice my larger stomach, and its really okay right now. In fact, I find that I love myself. All of this leads to taking better care of myself. For example, I didn't used to bother with putting on body lotion. Now I do - and I am taking time to experience this as sensuous.
Today I ran across a www.ABeautifulBodyProject.com
This is a media project by Jade Beall, where she "praises the unphotoshopped body"; women who are pregnant, post-partum, breastfeeding, all ages, sizes, and with cancer and illness. In her words: A Beautiful Body project is movement of women coming together to tell their stories and celebrate their ever-changing bodies so that future generations of women can live free from self-suffering.
I hope you take a look; her photos are wonderful and she also includes stories, support and perspective. We are all beautiful -- here, now and today. I am grateful for all my SP friends and all I learn on these webpages for guiding me in beginning to love myself again to want to be healthy. To eat healthy food, in target range, because I love my body.
These webpages reflect this acceptance and love and joy.
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