WOMANWITHGRIT   25,680
SparkPoints
25,000-29,999 SparkPoints
 
 
WOMANWITHGRIT's Recent Blog Entries

Progressively, I am becoming more and more ordered around food and eating

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Notwithstanding everything else going on, I realize I am becoming healthier about food. Listening to my body and giving it what it needs. Tracking will always be important for me, I think, for lots of reasons. But I am really learning to take care of my body and to choose better things to eat. I think about how I feel after eating something and choose wisely. I don't want to eat too much, because then I do not feel very good. And the, back to the beginning -- I want to feel better. Its the tracking, reading, exercising, and support. Wow!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSETTE29 8/4/2013 4:26PM

    Wow! Look at all the love you got on this post! Well, here's some more. Thank you for your post on my page--that funny picture of me and the statue. It brought me back to Spark Pages to update my blog and my status. Thanks! Cheers for both of us.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HONOURIA 7/31/2013 11:06PM

    This is so important right now - so bravo!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 7/31/2013 7:26AM

    Tracking does force you into orderly thinking about food.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYYVAUGHN 7/31/2013 5:09AM

    You are doing great. You are on your way to a healthy lifestyle.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEWELL48 7/31/2013 3:43AM

    Sounds good! Why does it take us so long to learn this most sensible practice!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTHEPRO 7/30/2013 10:58PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
68ANNE 7/30/2013 8:50PM

    Weeha and way to go!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYL_ANNE 7/30/2013 8:46PM

    Wonderful to hear!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATJOONWW 7/30/2013 4:42PM

    Totally agree!

Keep up the good work and much success on your journey!

emoticon~Pat~ emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 7/30/2013 3:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEJAMQ 7/30/2013 3:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


It is so good to be a SparkPerson

Saturday, July 27, 2013

I am very grateful for this infrastructure provided by Chris Downie and for every single person here on SP, who takes courage to log on to these pages. I tracked my food over the years for periods of time, but I didn't jump in with both feet -- into the community -- until last April. I started the coaching sessions, then, too.

Tracking food, exercise, reading, blogging, interacting -- and, then, all this again the next day - in honesty, is making the difference.

I went over my calories yesterday -- not much, but, over. I was still careful. It was a feast day potluck at my church. Today, I am here. With all these issues in my life. And all of the very wonderful feedback and support from all of you. I am tracking. I will walk or swim today. I am getting a pedicure. I am guarding my heart and soul and I want to act in love. I am planning healthy food.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYYVAUGHN 7/28/2013 5:28PM

    I think you are doing great.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 7/28/2013 11:15AM

    Loved the blog. Very positive - the words of a winner.

Report Inappropriate Comment
68ANNE 7/27/2013 6:18PM

    way to go!
Sometimes it seems like a ton of work but if it helps you then it is definitely worth it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTHEPRO 7/27/2013 3:56PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HONOURIA 7/27/2013 2:19PM

    Bravo.
St. Anne, wasn't it?
blessings,
honouria

Report Inappropriate Comment
LETHA_ 7/27/2013 11:56AM

    Agreed!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


The last two days . . .

Thursday, July 25, 2013

I am having a difficult time. My calories have increased -- upper end of range or just over, and I am having trouble in pushing myself to exercise. I am fighting fear, really. I have nothing profound to say about this...but I am having a difficult time accepting all that happening in my marriage. Every day I see some different facet -- like - "oh, this is how it has been" that makes clear how I am where I am at now. No, my husband has not loved me (is this true, I ask myself?). Seems that way. This is what he says now and I feel like I am looking at a zombie -- as he is so very very detached. He has been a man searching for geographical cures for the entire time I have known him. This has, in fact, been the basis of many disagreements. I would have trouble with a scheme and he would be resentful and push for it. I felt like he never would honor my different opinion -- but only comply bitterly at the point I felt safety or security was an issue and take issue as a parent would. I hated that.
He is now in pain again, and is reinventing himself. I am the geography from which he is escaping, along with the house and his status as a married person.

What else? In my bones, I knew there was trouble. I've been keeping his ship afloat for a long time. I don't want to do it anymore. He doesn't want it. I cannot believe he says he doesn't love me -- but at the same time, this is what I have thought, in some way, was the case. It's all just accelerated.

I so know I need to take care of myself. My body. Tracking food, exercising. I am writing this to push it out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSETTE29 8/4/2013 4:30PM

    WomanWithGrit says it. You are strong, even if you don't feel it right now. Courage, my dear. I've been there; it gets better.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 7/26/2013 11:47AM

    Sounds very stressful. You are right. You need to have healthy habits and take care of yourself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JEANNE229 7/26/2013 9:23AM

    Routine...and sticking to it, can help stress levels that are way over the moon!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYL_ANNE 7/26/2013 6:43AM

    My two cents?

Take care of yourself! Do all the things you know you need to do so you can continue your journey of becoming the healthiest you can be.

It takes both parties in a relationship (friends, children, partners, job, etc) to make it work because a relationship is something we must work at. Simply coasting and magically expecting it to nurture itself is not realistic.

I totally understand how disbelief at detached negative behavior can be hurtful.

But at the same time it's our reaction to it that we control - because deep down we know we can't control the other person or the situation.

We can choose to not let that behavior affect us and our belief system, we can choose to let it affect us and our belief system, or we can choose to do nothing - but anyway we look at it - the choice is ours to make.

It's so important to make the choice based on what is best for us and not out of fear, because we're the ones who have to live with our choice.

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending good vibes your way!
emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTHEPRO 7/25/2013 11:06PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HONOURIA 7/25/2013 11:05PM

    This is a high stress time. It would be wise to track and keep your food intake as sensible as possible, but it might be difficult to do at this time. It would be good to find an exercise that you can do regularly. It will help.

It appears that your husband is in the mood for a change. You say that you keep the ship afloat. Then keep it afloat - you remain stable. Sometimes people need to get away to evaluate their lives. That can take them away in order to sort things out. He may very well change his mind again. Until he is certain, I suggest you stay as calm as you can and do your best to protect any at home children. While he is gone, it will be a good time for you to sort out yourself as well.

Essentially, it is a time for pause. For assessment. I would advize you to pray for strength and wisdom. And forgiveness for all involved.

Most of all, try to be kind to yourself.

People who come off really well in these situations take the high ground. Behave with honour, kindness, wisdom, and maturity. You do that, and you will not have regrets. Watch the words that come out of your mouth and don't speak in anger. You will need to be circumspect.

Having been in and out of relationships in my deep past - and now having a stable long lasting one, I can at least give you the benefit of my experience. It may not exactly apply, but take what is good and leave the rest.

blessings,
honouria

Report Inappropriate Comment


Canticle from Morning Prayer; Surge illuminare

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Canticle 11 The Third Song of Isaiah Isaiah 60:1-3, 11a, 14c, 18-19
Surge, illuminare

Arise, shine, for your light has come, *
and the glory of the Lord has dawned upon you.

For behold, darkness covers the land; *
deep gloom enshrouds the peoples.

But over you the Lord will rise, *
and his glory will appear upon you.

Nations will stream to your light, *
and kings to the brightness of your dawning.

Your gates will always be open; *
by day or night they will never be shut.

They will call you, The City of the Lord, *
The Zion of the Holy One of Israel.

Violence will no more be heard in your land, *
ruin or destruction within your borders.

You will call your walls, Salvation, *
and all your portals, Praise.

The sun will no more be your light by day; *
by night you will not need the brightness of the moon.

The Lord will be your everlasting light, *
and your God will be your glory.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PYNETREE 7/26/2013 8:47AM

    A perfect scripture for this perfect day..somehow, I was meant to read this today!

Thank You!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYYVAUGHN 7/21/2013 5:22AM

    Today is a good day to hear these words.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HONOURIA 7/17/2013 11:11PM

    I love the wording of this. "And all your portals, Praise."
Portals can be corrupt - they are angel gateways. Here, all of them are sanctified. It's lovely.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANA2PRINCESSES 7/17/2013 11:55AM

    Thanks for sharing this.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 7/17/2013 11:05AM

    Great scripture.

Report Inappropriate Comment


I believe my marriage is over

Friday, July 12, 2013

It is good to be anonymous here.

I am almost 61 and I married my husband when we were 33 and we had two wonderful sons -- now 25 and 23. They are wonderful.

I have always loved him and I do, now, in fact. But we have had difficulties for some years. We have been recovering.....individually. I guess it doesn't always translate into marital recovery. Both parties need to have a common goal of healing in the marriage. My husband does not.

I feel like I am a surreal movie and I realize I need so much to keep taking care of myself here-- tracking food and exercise, coaching, moving, drinking water, being involved in this community.

I won't grovel or beg. I won't do that. And I acknowledge the small bit of relief I feel. I have no time or space for resentment and I am praying to keep that at bay. I am afraid ---------I didn't bank on this and I don't want it. I need to love and take care of myself. I hurt.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 7/17/2013 11:04AM

    I went through this too years ago with my first marriage. My heart goes out to you and I'm hoping that things work out for the best.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HONOURIA 7/13/2013 12:38AM

    There are times like this in marriage. I went through this. My sheer commitment to keep the marriage intact saw us through a time when he just wasn't able to do it. It was tough. I hung onto God because I knew where I was supposed to be. I stayed close to God, and persevered. Things turned around. But it took me 6 years.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIDMIS 7/12/2013 5:54PM

    I am so sorry. I know it hurts and it will for some time but you have the right attitude. Take care of you. Put yourself and your marriage in God's hands. There is nothing too difficult for Him.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEMETERSCO 7/12/2013 12:48PM

    This is so hard, I hope you have someone you can talk to - a counselor or minister or other party removed from the emotion. We are here for you, too, to listen without judgment and to support you .
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNYAGENYA 7/12/2013 12:19PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DWINDLIN 7/12/2013 9:38AM

    sending you strength, clarity and peace - for whatever you and your husband decide.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAZRBKMOM 7/12/2013 9:11AM

    I can so feel your pain and relief at the same time. I was married to someone for 21 years and all of a sudden he came in and said he wasn't happy and wanted out. Looking back, I can see where neither one of us were happy. In all actuality it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It wasn't for my kids but mine were younger.

In the years since I am a happier person, it took a bit to get there, but I did get there. I will pray for you. I know it is a scary thing to have to start over but you sound like a very strong lady, and you will have tons of support on here if you just use it!!

You are the winner in this - don't ever forget that!! It is his loss not yours!!! Hold your head up, and know that there are some of us that truly understand. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 7/12/2013 8:31AM

    Focusing on Extreme Self Care as you move through this phase of your life is the wisest course you could choose for yourself. You emotions may roller-coaster away and so many things may appear to be out of your control BUT: maintaining that laser-like focus on your health and well-being is still possible!

Though it may wane and flicker, KEEP THE SPARK and make those healthy food choices, healthy activity choices...moving our bodies is one of the best way to vent all those emotions that may roll through you like thunderheads!

Your SparkFamily is here for you 24/7 as you make your way through such difficult days...

Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITFRIT 7/12/2013 8:31AM

    I will say a prayer for you today and in the days ahead. Grow stronger in knowing you are taking care of you. Good luck.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 7/12/2013 7:55AM

    I have been here myself, but it was 32 years ago. No one goes into a marriage thinking it will end, but it does happen. I am so sorry.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYYVAUGHN 7/12/2013 7:36AM

    I think you are handling this situation well. It's not easy, but you are trying with a good attitude. The hurt will not go away soon. Just take it one day at the time. We are here for you and will support you.
Kay
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATIGIE 7/12/2013 7:23AM

    I too am glad you are working to keep resentment at bay. That is very important to your happiness. Take time to consider what you want--a divorce? A separate household, but no divorce? Some other arrangement? I say this because I have three friends who made that decision and went full speed ahead to be free--and it has cost them heavily. I'm not an advocate of soaking the male, but be sure your health insurance and monthly income are adequate before the scariness and exhilaration of a new start. One friend ia 70, still tied to his mortgage, no income, little SS--very sad to see. You'll get through this! Just don't let haste prevent you from thinking through the finances. Very best wishes!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HARMONYAGAIN 7/12/2013 6:28AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANA2PRINCESSES 7/12/2013 6:15AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTHEPRO 7/12/2013 5:55AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CALLIEZMOM 7/12/2013 5:45AM

  You are a woman with grit indeed! My heart is with you but I sense that you are at the point of realizing that this is yet another chapter in the journey that is your life. I understand as my marriage ended suddenly after 27 years and I didn't want it either. It hurts like h_ll. I didn't have the good sense you do to realize that resentment can eat you alive and I didn't take care of myself - I gave in to all my emotions and I'm paying dearly for it today. I now have 100 lbs to lose.

Don't grovel or beg, just make yourself your number 1 priority as you deal with this loss. Take care of yourself through healthy eating, exercise, drinking water and asking for support, just as you did by writing this blog. Keep up this great outlook on what is one of the toughest things that can happen to a woman. I will shed some tears for you and your loss so you don't have to if you don't want to or feel you can't so you can stay strong,

You are blessed with 2 sons of young adult age and I think you'll find (as I did) that they will be among your greatest sources of support and strength. You helped make them the people that they are and you can (and should) take great pride in that! It was my own grown kids who pulled me up on my feet and said "enough already - if Dad wants to walk away it's not your fault and it's not your problem"! Today, a few years later, I am emotionally and spiritually better and healing and finally dealing with the mess that is me. From your words, I believe you have already figured this out. I want to encourage you to take all the steps you mentioned to take the very best care of yourself through this so that you come out the winner that you are!

If you want an anonymous friend through this, I promise to check in with you every day or as often as you want me to, I found a divorce recovery support buddy online who I have never met and she has been one of my rocks. I can say things to her that I wouldn't say to my kids or my friends, because so many of my friends are friends we made and sustained as a couple, My buddy helps me sift through the garbage that gets in my way,

I wish you only a success recovery and a blessed, happy and healthy new life ahead, God bless you!



Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Last Page