Saturday, May 18, 2013
I'm ready. Its a small step and I've been putting it off. I've been scared, and oh, I don't know what else. *But* I am starting a STREAK today for the next 30 days.....a minimum of 10 minutes a day of exercise. That's doable. It's time. I'm excited. I'll post my progress.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Today is May 15 and my thoughts turn to my sister, Diane. It would have been her 55th birthday today and I wonder what she would have been like at this age - how she would have grown and what her sense of humor would have been like.
Diane lived a courageous life for her 37 years; she died 18 years ago, as the world came to be too much for her. She was a poet, painter, art teacher, musician, and good friend to many. She understood the complexity of life and in moments she cherished, she was able to live in peace and with simplicity.
I loved her and her pain also scared me. I have to say, honestly, I tried to control it because I couldn't change it and it was so close to my own. She was my younger sister by 6 years. I wish I could tell her that I love her. What can I do? I suppose it is giving my best to those who are around me -- those who are vulnerable and in pain. Knowing that I am doing this for God, really, and that the positive things I have to share are from God and because of healing I have received.
Also, I can treat myself well -- and be healthy --- and I am learning to do here and supported in doing here on these Sparkpages.....
Monday, May 06, 2013
I teach at a university and it is graduation week. Very busy....and I'm glad I'm with SP, where I am maintaining the discipline of tracking food and spending time with SparkCoach and the community. In much of my adult life I would be out of control during busy times and so it is good to have a plan.
Friday, May 03, 2013
Oh, I am getting stronger, I realize. I am more stable in my intentions and activities -- this was not always the case! Its evident, I know, that I have not taken good care of myself -- being more then 100 pounds overweight is the signal here. But I am really trying now and this is a full time job. I often am aware of the resistance I have here, now that I am paying attention. Drinking water, taking care to look well, scheduling that mammogram....and fully engaging in Sparkpeople -- all self care. My resistance is now in exercise. I don't seem to be able to make friends with myself about it.
Thursday, May 02, 2013
From the Book of Common Prayer (1979), one of my favorites, often said at Evening Prayer. Keeping this in my heart and mind places me where I need to be in order to work towards health and well-being.
A Prayer of Self-Dedication
Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to you, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly yours, utterly dedicated unto you; and then use us, we pray you, as you will, and always to your glory and the welfare of your people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
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