WOLFKITTY   65,825
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Competing Against that Awesome Jocelyn

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

I falsely gained weight over the weekend (sodium and sporadic eating), so that when I weighed in today, I "magically" lost 4 pounds. LOL. What it boiled down to was that my first official weight for February is 269 (which is my lowest weight for January).

I don't put much stock into what the scale says (especially if I'm going to keep weighing myself every day). However, as a general OVERALL trend, I think that if I'm building muscle and losing fat through consistent exercise and healthy food choices, it will eventually show up in the numbers.

After all, BMI teaches us that weight isn't everything:

I returned to basics this year and planned out what I believe would be my weight if I lost 1 pound a week or 2 pounds a week (those #s are on my SparkPage), and I weigh myself at the beginning of the month to see how it hits those benchmarks. When I added my 269 weight, I noticed it was EXACTLY THE SAME as my 2009 February weigh in.

(Copied from my front page--)

New year, new range! Here's the 1lb loss/2 lb loss ranges, but my goal is to lose 75 lbs (hit 199) in 2009:
FEB 2009--271/267 (actual 269 2/2/09)***
MAR 2009--267/259 (actual 264 3/5/09)
APR 2009--263/251 (actual 261 4/13/09)
MAY 2009--259/243 (actual 257 5/5/09)
JUN 2009--255/235 (actual 258 6/1/09)
JUL 2009--251/227 (actual 255 7/1/09)
AUG 2009--247/219 (actual 256 8/3/09)
_______adjusting 1, 2 pound loss nums_______
SEP 2009--252/248 (actual 252 9/2/09)
OCT 2009--247/238 (actual 245 10/1/09)
NOV 2009--243/230 (actual 243 11/2/09)
DEC 2009--238/220 (actual 238 12/1/09)
**End of 2009- 239: LOST 31 pounds!!**

At first I was a little disappointed, despite meeting ALL of my January 2011 goals. I had a twinge of feeling like I had "lost" the progress of two whole years. But in the next instant I remembered that I've gained lots of knowledge and experience during that time. It's helped make me a better person, realize my fears and self-imposed limitations, and break through them! I am stronger in so many ways, and have more opportunities stretching out in front of me!

Then my blood really started pumping when I realized I could COMPETE AGAINST MYSELF! I will track more minutes than I did in 2009! I will be more consistent with my healthier food choices (though I'm still believe in flexibility and not restricting foods completely)! And through those victories, I will probably lose more than 31 pounds this year. My goal is -50 (especially since I hope to gain some weight in my muscles!)!

[That's right! Look over your shoulder, self from 2009! HEhehee.]

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PILLOWFOOL 2/3/2011 6:55AM

    I love this idea. also: you're gorgeous!

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VEEJAY3 2/2/2011 7:40PM

    I'm sooooo conflicted!!! I don't know who to root for!!!
I love Jocelyn.
But I love Jocelyn, too!
I mean ... I've been friends with Jocelyn almost as long as I've been friends with Jocelyn. And it seems like every time Jocelyn offers me some kindness on my SP page or blog, Jocelyn does the same!

Sheeeeeesh. I just don't know who to cheer for.


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PHAHN28 2/2/2011 4:19PM

    emoticon Blog!!

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INTHELOOP 2/2/2011 8:58AM

    I love this blog pretty girl!!You have been so detailed with your tracking! I think that is a success all it's own!!

Great work! Keep pressing on! You are amazing!

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TRACYZABELLE 2/2/2011 1:15AM

    Keep on looking forward-- you do not want to miss what is coming your way!

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 2/2/2011 12:48AM

    Haha! Go Jocelyn. I love the cartoon and of course the picture of 2009 you. I completely agree about BMI & body fat %, its taking me a while to figure out the number on the scale isn't everything.

I am hoping to lose around 50 lbs this year too and gain muscle. You can do it!

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JFROGDIVA 2/1/2011 11:19PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KKTODAY 2/1/2011 10:24PM

    emoticon Jocelyn vs. Jocelyn - who will win?! YOU of course! :) Keep up all your hard work and determination, girl. You've got this! :D

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MACEWOMAN 2/1/2011 4:48PM

    I'm with these folks. I have no doubt, that emoticon

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FLOWER1967 2/1/2011 4:26PM

    emoticon job !!! (cute pic too) !!

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BERRIMOUSE 2/1/2011 3:35PM

    You go girl, I have my bet on Joycelyn...... emoticon

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MELANIE418 2/1/2011 3:17PM

    You GO Girl! You are such an inspiration. I love to read your blog posts, because you have such an amazing sense of self worth and you see beyond the scale. You have figured out the magic in loving yourself and treating yourself kindly! I admire that tremendously. I'm getting there though! I just started reading the book A Course in Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson. Have you heard of it? I think it's going to be great, because she deals with just this topic! Have a beautiful day! :)

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FIT_TERI 2/1/2011 1:34PM

    Yay!! This is a great idea. My money is on Jocelyn '11.

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HIPPICHICK1 2/1/2011 1:34PM

    The guy who owns the gym where I work out occasionally weighs 195lbs and is considered by the BMI chart to be obese. He is anything but obese. His arms are as big as my thighs and are rock solid MUSCLE. He's been training for years and he is a perfect example of your cartoon pic above. He warned me not to get too caught up in the BMI chart or the scale for that very reason.
I'm glad to hear that you are stronger in so many ways than you were before!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITKITTYMAMA 2/1/2011 1:06PM

    I love that you are competing against yourself and your numbers from 2 years ago. I also love that you didn't let that little twinge of disappointment take control and you turned it around to the positive. I predict we are both going to reach the goals we have set for ourselves this year!

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    BRILLIANT!!! Just BRILLIANT!! I adore this idea.. and it goes along with one of my favorite sayings (see my sparkpage)

"The only person who can beat me, is me... and I'm pretty sure I can take her!" LOL

Go Joce BEAT Joce

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TATYPREZ 2/1/2011 12:44PM

    You can do it! I know you can!!!!

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HAPPY92003 2/1/2011 12:42PM

    LOVE.IT! I love the challenge..and the picture cracked me up!!!! Go be awesome!! :)

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Did it! 20,000 Fitness Minutes Tracked

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

With only 17 minutes remaining in January, I realized that I was (coincidentally) 17 minutes short of my 20,000 total tracked fitness minutes goal. If I had worked out on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, I would have easily overshot my goal... But now it was down to the wire.

In my nightgown and slippers, after showering from my cardio and 100 PushUp Challenge earlier in the night, I realized that I could still do my 200 Squat Challenge minutes, and use approximately 20 minutes to do it. I walked during the "rest" in between the sets to make sure that I was actually keeping my heart rate up, making it feel more like all of the minutes were truly FITNESS minutes. (*Note: Since Spark doesn't add my Strength Training minutes to the total Fitness Minutes, I do it manually under the Cardio section, and I use the same number for amount of minutes and calories burned.)

The last set is a minimum of 25, but you go until exhaustion of "good form", so I hit 55 in a row! :) That made today's total of 116 squats (now), and 112 wall push-ups (earlier after my cardio).

(For background info, here's a link to my blog where I hit my previous January goal for SparkPoints and set up this one. www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
... I'm officially at 1,072 fitness minutes for the month of January! I may want to attempt hitting over 1,000 minutes for every month this year! Wait, no, 1,111 for each month in '11! :D )

Plan for Jan '11:
x Track Food, eat ranges! - - ~DONE~
x Strength Train! - - ~DONE~
x 30 mins daily activity! - - ~DONE, mostly~
x Work SparkPoints for next SparkTrophy! - - ~DONE~

Now I'm ready to plan my February goals! I think I might do the 28 day Spark bootcamp, FINALLY :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TABALICIOUS 2/2/2011 10:28PM


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BUTTERFLYROSE1 2/2/2011 10:11PM

    Slippers ,socks and down to the wire! You go!

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TBABY912 2/2/2011 1:23AM

    nightgown & slippers... you rock! emoticon

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    emoticon Way to meet those goals, Done Girl! WooHoo!

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ANDILU 2/2/2011 12:39AM

    Hahaha...that is so awesome!!

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DDOORN 2/1/2011 11:36PM

    Go Jocelyn GO! :-)

Way to SPARK!


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HIPPICHICK1 2/1/2011 1:16PM

    You are going to have buns of STEEL!!
I did 15 minutes worth of squats last week and it took me 4 days to recover. My inner thighs were especially feeling it. How are your legs feeling today?

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JENNI0527 2/1/2011 12:59PM

    emoticon!!! What an inspiration you are!! Congrats on accomplishing your January goals!! Let's rock February!!

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NEWSGIRL2177 2/1/2011 12:28PM

    Way to go! You just rocked January!

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KIMPAINTS 2/1/2011 12:03PM

    You are my Spark Hero!!! I picture you in my head like the energizer bunny except you are the energizer Joc that keeps going and going and going. With that going and going and going you keep getting healthier. I am so proud of you!!! You are a Spark Star!! Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah emoticon

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KJWILSON211 2/1/2011 10:05AM

    What an awesome job!!!! I have trouble just talking myself into the 30 min a day. Keep up the good work you'll be fit as a fiddle in no time!!! emoticon

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    Great job!!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    wooot wooot... you rock it girl!! seriously, way to set goals and meet them.. STUPENDOUS!!!

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    VERY AMAZING! Great job. That is definately an accomplishment to be proud of, and we're all proud OF you! Keep goin, maybe someday you'll hit 50,000! OOO emoticon

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SHANTODD420 2/1/2011 7:38AM

    Wow that is amazing keep up the hardwork and dedication.

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EUPHRATES 2/1/2011 6:04AM

    emoticon emoticon

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BAKERICLISA 2/1/2011 5:54AM


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45ANDFIT1 2/1/2011 5:16AM

    WAY TO GO!!!!!

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TUBLADY 2/1/2011 3:49AM

    Congratulations. I know what you are feeling, I too am somewhere in that range.
I didn't realize for some time that all the strength training I was doing , over 60 minutes at a time was not counted.
That does seem strange. I recently started to add it under cardio.
Good luck on the next months goal.
Stay strong and be positive and Spark on.

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ABB698 2/1/2011 3:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I knew you'd do it! I like your 1,111 goal, love how you continue striving for more! Happy February!! emoticon

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MOLLYM1133 2/1/2011 3:14AM

    Whooo Hooo! That is a lot of exercise- you must plan it into your day like a champ. Awesome, you have inspired me to up my monthly goal. Thank you!

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Hips & Shake

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I danced like mad at a new instructor/gym's Zumba class. And I shook my hips so hard it was as if I was flicking off the negative energy. And before the class, since I got there early to make sure I had a pass before it filled up, I walked for almost 40 minutes, venting my earlier frustrating exchange with my husband through the keypad into my phone as I actually wrote a blog. But no one needs to read a recount of uncomfortable misunderstandings, miscommunication and disconnects.
So I'll tell you about my exercise!

It made me feel good!
It made me feel tired & sore, but in a FANTASTIC way that actually gives me more energy!
It made me able to concentrate on the good that my body can do!
It made my blood pulse through my body faster and faster!
It made me smile.
It brought me a compliment from a stranger in the class.
It made me able to say that I've completed another day in my 100 Day/30 minute activity challenge -- Except that I've done 98 minutes today!

I can't say that my hips were the most talented, coordinated in the class. But I can say that they mostly did what I asked, and they're in the top 5! My eyes were closed for more of this class than any before, as I caught onto the instructor's steps and did the reps while feeling the music. When I did catch glimpse, even though I was the largest and almost most round woman there, I wasn't disappointed by my body or what it did. Instead I shimmied extra, perfectly. And while it takes more energy and strength to move my 270 pounds around than someone that weighs 125, *YOU*COULD*TELL* because when I moved, I moooooved. And it was graceful.

This is my hip. Pretty!

This is a Nike hip in an older advertisement that says:

return to puberty
when I'm in dance class.

Music affects them like hormones
Making them crazy
and spontaneous
and optimistic
and prone to DRAMA

And I don't understand them
And sometimes they
don't understand themselves

When the music stops
They're still charged
Don't touch me
Sparks will fly.

...Except, I do understand them, and they love to be touched! LOL!
Spark away!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    You and your hips are just beautiful.


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PHOENIXK26 1/30/2011 11:06AM

    Who knew there was poetry about hips? I love the words in the ad about the hips returning to puberty. That's exactly how I feel when I'm dancing it up. Great blog, Jocelyn!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CESIRACOLLINS 1/29/2011 8:09PM

    I always feel so strong when I rock a new routine in Zumba. The first time we did Ojos Asi I was one of two people in the class who had ever done belly dance before. I loved how good it felt it slide, swirl, and shimmy my hips and shoulders and how people in the class looked to me for cues when they couldn't see the instructor.

It really is a high I can't explain!

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POSEY440 1/29/2011 1:00PM

    Cannot do the zumba here too tough too young of instructor hurt my back twice trying to do it upset me too. I so wanted to do it, Great blog.

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PHAHN28 1/29/2011 11:38AM

    emoticon I say shake what your Momma gave you Girlie!! :-)

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JESPAH 1/29/2011 9:22AM

    Beautiful Jocelyn, you gotta know, this song's for YOU:

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ANIMALMAGIC 1/29/2011 7:37AM

  Sounds great hun. You show em!
Jay x

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SWEETZMIX 1/29/2011 7:36AM

    Owwww keep working those hips!!!!!!!!!!

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CALLIEA 1/29/2011 1:26AM

    I did a ZUMBA class a few days ago...my 1st...it really is a wonderful way to get in exercize. Keep going, girl. emoticon

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TBABY912 1/29/2011 12:33AM

    that's right... shake it girl! emoticon

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JIBBIE49 1/28/2011 6:04PM

    Love that you are enjoying ZUMBA. There are a lot of great ZUMBA clips on YouTube. Like Shakira says "My hips don't lie."

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MDRATH 1/28/2011 2:38PM

    Homage to My Hips

these hips are big hips.
they need space to
move around in.
they don't fit into little
petty places. these hips
are free hips.
they don't like to be held back.
these hips have never been enslaved,
they go where they want to go
they do what they want to do.
these hips are mighty hips.
these hips are magic hips.
i have known them
to put a spell on a man and
spin him like a top

by Lucille Clifton

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
l woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
l woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

menal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
l woman,
That's me.

by Maya Angelou

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KKTODAY 1/28/2011 9:30AM

Sounds like you had a lot of fun with Zumba! That's awesome! :D

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NEWSTART127 1/28/2011 12:37AM

    Dance on! emoticon

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TABALICIOUS 1/27/2011 10:20PM

  That's Awesome!!! Way to go!

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JANICE611 1/27/2011 8:13PM

    Great blog! I agree, it is wonderful to hear you are happy with your body today, right now, and using it!

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DEBBIEDAY 1/27/2011 7:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JFROGDIVA 1/27/2011 7:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KSGROTHE 1/27/2011 4:22PM

    emoticon on all the exercise and on loving your hips! This is a great blog!

Keep up the good work! emoticon

- Karen

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JILLYBEAN25 1/27/2011 3:13PM

    The thing that stood out for me in this blog was just the acceptance and love of your body, no matter its size, limitations (or lack of!), or other's perceptions. What a beautiful place to be mentally! I agree with an earlier poster, this blog was very beautiful and inspirational. Thank you for sharing!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 1/27/2011 2:24PM

    Wow, I'm kind of jealous - your post reminds me of why I like Zumba (and martial arts) despite the fact that both of them put too much strain on my arthritic knee to do on a regular basis.

I won't be able to do Zumba until they replace this knee (in the next 20 years) and by then there probably won't BE Zumba anymore, 'cuz it will have gone the way of jazzercize, or something...

Shake it for me, willya?

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STFY31 1/27/2011 1:46PM

    I kinda wanted to hear about the uncomfortable misunderstandings and miscommunication. LOL emoticon

I LOVE that Nike ad, thanks for sharing it...I am a belly dancer so it definitely speaks to me!

Keep on shimmying

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KINSBAILE 1/27/2011 1:42PM

    ZUMBA on my Kinect is a GREAT deal of fun and a lot of SWEATIN! :)

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JLJOYNT 1/27/2011 1:06PM

    Great blog! You look fabulous and are a great inspiration. I have the Zumba DVD's and they are awesome. Keep up the good work.


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NCONSTANT 1/27/2011 12:11PM

    I love my Zumba and I shake what my Momma gave me! I don't care what anyone around me thinks! I feel so great at the end of class! You are doing great! I am just getting back on SP!

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RAINYFRIDAY 1/27/2011 11:35AM

    Aweeesome! Glad you had fun and were able to shake off some of the ickies while you were at it!

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HIPPICHICK1 1/27/2011 10:42AM

    Great post WOMAN! You rock my world!

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ZIRCADIA 1/27/2011 9:55AM

    LOVE the text from that nike ad - thanks for sharing! :D Any zumba lover will relate! hehe

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GEE-KNEE 1/27/2011 9:46AM

    Exercise is always a good way to deal with life's frustrations. Hugs...

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DDOORN 1/27/2011 8:30AM

    Nice workout! I'm jealous...! My two left feet would LOVE to learn how to dance and have another way to celebrate my love of music! :-)


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MELANIE418 1/27/2011 6:28AM

    Hi Jocelyn - I'm so interested in trying zumba. I recently heard there is a zumba wii game so I may check that out, or the "on demand" feature of our cable service has a bunch of exercise shows so I may check there too. It sounds so fun! I wanted to ask you something... You wrote on my page that I have to love my body the way it is now (even the big belly & bat wing arms) and you wrote in your blog that you love your hips - the way they are right now. How do you do that? How do I love parts of me that I desperately despise? When I look at my arms or my stomach, I get angry and feel anything but loving. I just don't know how I can embrace them when I want them gone so badly. How did you do it? How did you learn to love your body even at its heaviest?

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LECATES 1/27/2011 6:23AM

    Nothing like exercise to relieve that stress---remember that your dh is stressed right now about his mom---but understand the frustration of dealing with him---wish there was a zumba class I could try around here---I think it would be fun----kudos to you for not being afraid to take part----You go, girl!

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EUPHRATES 1/27/2011 6:22AM

    Hey, hips don't lie!

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CHARANN3 1/27/2011 5:25AM


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FLOWER1967 1/27/2011 4:58AM

    Glad to hear that you were 'gettin' jiggy with it' emoticon
I'd like to try Zumba but...I'd probably look like dancing Elmo ! Not pretty.
Keep those hips Sparkin' !!!
emoticon Michele
Hip Hip Hooray !!! emoticon

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100 PushUps & 200 Squat Challenges

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


There's an interval Push-Up program/guide online called HundredPushupChallenge.com that I was introduced to by my GOYAAM SparkTeam (stands for "Get Off Your *[Ahem] And Move"). Since I can't quite do a floor push-up (especially since I got something "like wow, oh wow" that are kinda in the way for how short my arms are), I do WALL PUSH-UPS! I stand with my feet slightly farther away from the wall than my arms can reach and touch the tip of my nose when I go in. Here's a demo from Spark Fitness:

-My history with this program is as described below-

DATELINE: [[[10/5/08 8:45 PM]]]
I posted that I did the initial test, was rarin' to go using level 3 to do WALL PUSH-UPs.

**That initial post was my last post on the team message thread... And I eventually just stopped doing it (or something - I don't remember, but I know I was frustrated).**

DATELINE: [[[01/31/09]]]
SparkFriend NERDDAVE started his own challenge and it reminded me that I didn't get to 100.. Didn't finish. So I decided after dropping out to "drop in" , and even wrote a blog about it.. .Then I posted on the GOYAAM thread again a bunch of times. I finished up to week 3 (that's approximately 9 days of doing this training, with an equal amount of rest days in between). Then there's no posts after that. I wasn't happy with Week 3 so I repeated it before moving to the harder level. I may have been discouraged.

**From Jan 2009 until 2011 I had "100 pushup challenge" on my OTHER GOALS tracker... Those empty boxes looking back at me; okay well, not really, it was more like they were overlooked with just a faint hint of disappointment from the back of my heart**

emoticonDATELINE: [[[01/23/2011]]] emoticon
I started the 100 push-up challenge again! (Remember what I said about Debbie's example while visiting and watching BL in SparkStars blog? I'm doing it!) And do you know what my initial test count was?!? 23 WALL push-ups all in a ROW! So that means that they started me off in the "advanced" middle of the program - Week 3, Level 3 (highest)!! Even though it had been 2 years, I almost ended up exactly where I left off... That's crazy!!

**Total of 89 wall push-ups Sunday -- DONE!
**Total of 80 wall push-ups today -- DONE!

My arms are tired, but actually felt less sore after using them for the push-ups today (though hurt a little during), and even LESS sore right now, 8 hours later!

What's the difference between those past attempts and now?! I'm going to finish it! Not only that, but one of my biggest issues was going to the website to figure out what the intervals were supposed to be. This time I have an app for my work phone that counts it for me (EASY - NO EXCUSES!).

Heck, I even started the 200 Squat Challenge today! My initial test landed me squarely at the regular Week 1, but level 3! So I'm pretty proud of myself. Check this out:

**Total of 94 squats today -- DONE!


And you know what else?! My goal of adding some consistent strength training has finally BEGUN. That was something I wanted to start as a January goal! Doing these exercises will lead me (with enthusiasm) to adding more to my repertoire, especially since I can do them Sunday/Tuesday/Friday, which are days when I usually end up skipping cardio after HEAVY calorie burns the previous days.

I'm so excited! I just had to share. And I could've just posted that I did these programs, and disregarded what happened before, but trying to look up my old blogs and remember what happened before I think will make me able to overcome past difficulties by raising awareness. THAT is why I'm a proponent of "CONTINUING" instead of "Starting Over". I'm not starting over, EVER. I am MOVING FORWARD with all of the accomplishments and knowledge I learned from previous experience!!!

So, emoticon you!
(Also, I highly recommend doing them with a friend you trust & love.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEDAY 1/27/2011 7:42PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LUTHUNAA 1/27/2011 3:00PM

    Way to go Jocelyn!! :) emoticon emoticon

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FUTUREHOPE49 1/27/2011 10:21AM

    Wow! That sounds really good! I am going to try the squats challenge! Thank you for sharing with us! Good luck with your challenge!

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KKTODAY 1/26/2011 10:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I want to do the squats challenge, but haven't started just yet. You're making me really consider making that something for maybe next month! :) GREAT work so far! Keep going!

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KSGROTHE 1/26/2011 9:15PM

    emoticon on the wall pushups and the squats!
Keep up the good work! emoticon

- Karen

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    WOOOT WOOOT... way to go!! I like how you're doing the pushup challenge... I can't do a "real" push up either so it was pretty discouraging cuz I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere... but if I did the kind of pushups I CAN do... mmmmm I like that.. thanks for the GREAT idea!

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 1/26/2011 7:38PM

    Yay Jocelyn! Great job with the strength training. Now I need to do the same as you and build up some muscles. Keep it up!

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SWEETZMIX 1/26/2011 6:38PM

    I knew about the pushup program, but not the squats. Thanks for sharing Joce! And you are doing great. Toning up for...I would say summer, but it's for life!

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PHOENIXK26 1/26/2011 6:04PM

    Wow! You have really sent out some encouraging vibes today! I'm gonna hit the wall as soon as I get done sparking!

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MELANIE418 1/26/2011 4:06PM

    You have single-handedly made me WANT to do push-ups! I NEVER thought that would happen! I want to see how many I can do (wall push-ups). I'm just curious. Your blog post was so motivating and encouraging! Thank you for writing it. I'm excited to follow along. Quirky tidbit... I'm 5'4.75" too! I never fail to leave that off. Every little bit of height helps! LOL I'm really looking forward to getting to know you. Thanks again for the jolt of motivation today! I'm going to go try the wall push-up now! :)

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DDOORN 1/26/2011 1:19PM

    Love wall push ups...have gradually increased the angle I take, moving my feet further and further out!

Keep 'er Sparkin'! :-)


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NEWSGIRL2177 1/26/2011 12:44PM

    That is emoticon

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FITKITTYMAMA 1/26/2011 11:44AM

    I love, love, love that you are going back over your old blogs when continuing programs to see where your struggles were in the past! And you are going to get to 100/200... probably soon with your numbers already! Its great to see you so fired up and enthused this year! You rock!!

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ZIRCADIA 1/26/2011 10:33AM

    GO JOCE! :)

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GEE-KNEE 1/26/2011 8:59AM

    I tried that a few times too. I never made it to 100, but I liked the way my arms looked when I was trying... maybe after I get use to my new job, then I will go back to that goal.


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SHANTODD420 1/26/2011 8:05AM

    Woo hoo way to go and way to go on going back to finish the challenge. Doing that many squats and pushups takes courage. Keep up the hardwork and dedication.


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EUPHRATES 1/26/2011 2:37AM

Good for you!!!!!

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THEMIGHTYLEX 1/26/2011 1:48AM

    You're kicking tush! Way to go!!! I wanna be like you.

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NERDDAVE 1/26/2011 1:27AM

    Holy cow, thanks for the mention. Are you seriously able to do 80+ pushups?? I did THREE today! hahaha. I am going to bolster my efforts because I've never been able to do pushups or pullups in my life. You rock!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 1/26/2011 1:13AM


Next you can add crunches/situps...

Or try the Hacker's Diet exercise program:
which already has pushups in it)

You GO, girl!

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FLOWER1967 1/26/2011 1:11AM

    LOL love the comment about "like wow oh wow"... so funny. Im a "like yawn oh yawn" kinda girl myself...hehe.
Keep up the great work.
p.s. Was looking at your pics....you are stunningly gorgeous... I HATE YOU !! lol (joke)

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Baby Toe Blues

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Most people need to handle the death of one or both of their parents sometime during their life. This weekend my in-laws made the decision, along with my mother-in-law's doctor, to forgo the chemotherapy and just make her comfortable until the natural end of her life. Hospice has been ordered. She's home with a hospital bed. I've been working on accepting this, as I had previously seen the treatment as a ray of hope. But in the end, she has cancer in her spinal column along with the chest/lung tumor that is pressing on nerves causing her extreme pain; it has been worsening rapidly the past few weeks. I am doing my best to provide support and care a couple of times a week, and help my husband cope during this difficult time. She has lovingly treated me like a daughter for the past 14 years, and I just want her to not suffer this pain.

The same day I found out this recent news, on Sunday, I was able to walk with some SparkFriends during the bright morning sunshine. And while I ended up getting a blister on each of my teeny baby toes, they aren't that bad and are healing quickly. The best part about it (besides the great company) was that I walked 4 miles with them! FOUR MILES. F-O-U-R miles.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
That's the NEW most I've done in one go. We were at the same lake that MDRATH & JENIUS_PANDA introduced me to in 2008 and I did my first 3+ miles, sparking a desire and confidence that I COULD complete a 5k event. (And I did do the Iron Girl 5k after that in 2009 & 2010).

Thanks to NEWSGIRL2177 for doing the whole 4 miles with me, and to ADVENTURE-GIRL, MORELIE, as well as STEPHNPWY & JENIUS_PANDA for joining me in part of it.

That walk, and time spent with my friends (new and old) gave me additional strength that I didn't know I'd need later. It released some tension that had built up in me, and was utterly invaluable. I have always recognized the special people in my life, but current events make me think about how much I treasure them, all the time. Thanks also to everyone that offered support on my previous blog, "Somber Note". You are all really helping me to survive.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIXK26 1/26/2011 6:01PM

    Know you are in my thoughts and prayers

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CLUMBOY 1/26/2011 7:43AM

    blessings to you as you walk through this sad time. prayers for your MIL's comfort and ease.

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MAVIS2POINT0 1/25/2011 10:32PM

    Thanks for sharing your life with us. I know you'll cherish every precious moment and support your husband over the emotionally challenging days that will follow. Thoughts are with you.

(whoo hoo for your 4-miles)

Comment edited on: 1/25/2011 10:33:48 PM

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TABALICIOUS 1/25/2011 10:06PM

  Hugs Jocelyn, you're doing the best thing you can do, providing support and strength. A friend just recently went through the same, his wife passed today at the age of 35 also from cancer. Be there as much as you can to get in the memories and the time while the opportunity is there.

A thought that I would have loved to had the opportunity before my father passed was to ask him about different things I was curious about or may be interested in as I age like their versions of child hood memories, their youth, recipes etc. Take notes, or do an audio, video recording so you can look back at it later to hear her voice again.

Way to go on the 4 miles!!!! Hope the blisters are healed so your ready for the next walk. What lake do you guys walk at?


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SWEETZMIX 1/25/2011 8:23PM

    Joce it will be ok. No worries. At least you guys will have time to say good-bye.

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    hugs Joce.. sigh.. there are no words...

and congrats on your 21,120 feet!! WOW.. great job!


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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 1/25/2011 5:12PM

    I'm very sorry to hear about your Mother-in-Law. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 1/25/2011 3:01PM

    Oh I am so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. I know you were hoping for better news. Hang in there sweetie. I know this is going to be a tough time for you. If you need more walking I will be there.
emoticon emoticon

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RAINYFRIDAY 1/25/2011 2:01PM

    I'm so sorry about your MIL. I wish her peace and comfort during this time. ((hugs))

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FITKITTYMAMA 1/25/2011 1:46PM

    I am so sorry to hear about this sad news. I know that you had been holding out hope that the treatment would make things better. Whatever you need during this time, know that there are people who are here for you and who care.

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_KATHY 1/25/2011 1:13PM

    It's great that you have a wonderful group of supporters. And that you fill your time with those people and activities. You can easily get caught up in the tragic events now and to come. It can be overwhelming. It is one big part of your life but it is only a part of your life. You must give it the importance it deserves but also make sure you take care of yourself. My Father passed a couple months ago, in a hospice facility after a long battle. I understand. For you though, great job with doing those 4 miles! Awesome !


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NEWSGIRL2177 1/25/2011 12:06PM

    You, my strong and inspirational friend, can do anything. ANYTHING!
I'm sending good thoughts to you and your family. I know this is a tough time. Please give yourself some time and kindness while all of this is going on.

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MZSASSY 1/25/2011 11:08AM

    Sorry about the MIL news. But if its the best decision for them you have to respect it.

GOOD JOB on those 4 miles! emoticon

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DDOORN 1/25/2011 9:43AM

    Such an important and soul-shaking event, preparing, dealing with and accepting the loss of a loved one such as your mother-in-law...

I'm hoping to do my first 5K at Just a Short Run in Pittsburgh with other members of SparkPeople in March. I already know I can walk this distance, my hope is to be able to JOG it without walking...we'll see!

Onward and upward! :-)


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KINSBAILE 1/25/2011 9:31AM

    I am sorry about your MIL. I hope she is comfortable.

I am proud of you for the FOUR MILES! That's a big deal.

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DEBBIEKAY1 1/25/2011 8:59AM

    I am so emoticonfor what you are going through thankfully you have a great support system which is so important

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100LBLIGHTER 1/25/2011 8:46AM

    I am soo sorry to hear this news... It is not a fun thing watching parents health go down hill, and saying goodbye a little at a time. How blessed you have been to have her. I said goodbye to my mother-in -law after only 2 months of marriage....as we stood around her hospital bed. I wish I had more time to know her...Hubby says I remind him of her everyday. It has been 30 years ago....not a week goes by that we don't talk about her in a loving way. I am praying for you and your family. Blessings, Gracie

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LECATES 1/25/2011 8:19AM

    My last roommate died of cancer going up hers--at the tender age of 20---not a fun process to watch----Thank you for being there for her and your dh althoug you are not going to be together for much longer. And great going on that walk---that is a good stress reliever after being with your MIL

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FIT_TERI 1/25/2011 7:55AM

    I'm sorry about your mother-in-law. This will be hard for all of you but, based on what I've seen, the hospice care will make a world of difference. Not just for the patient, but for those around her.

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FIREFLYBRIDE 1/25/2011 7:35AM

    Watching death is painful. I am sorry you are going through this!

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JESPAH 1/25/2011 6:23AM

    Thinking of you -- man oh man the end stage is not an easy one to watch.

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FLOWER1967 1/25/2011 3:21AM

    I'm real sorry about your MIL....i know if it was my MIL it would be so hard...coz I really love her. I hope it will be as comfortable as possible for her...and also for you and her son. Thinking of you.....
emoticon Michele

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