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Another Emotional Blog

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

I realize that I mostly blog about my emotions and family relationships. The reason is that I've finally figure out I need to process my emotions instead of stuffing them down with food. I hope you understand.

Anyway, things have been going pretty well. Son is doing chores, his girlfriend got a part-time job. Son is probably going to need sinus surgery (we find out Friday) so we are holding off on pushing the job situation with him for the moment).

This week has been super stressful for me because son's girlfriend doesn't drive yet (she is 18). So son and I have had to drive her back and forth to her job. Also, she is up in the mornings now when I usually have the house to myself to get ready for work, etc. And when I get home at night she is so excited to talk about her day that I don't get to relax. None of this is a big deal - I mean I'm trying to be there for her. I guess it's just that I'm having a hard time adjusting to all the changes that it's making me anxious.

So the girlfriend made an appointment for today to take her driving test, with one of our cars (with permission). The only problem was that our rear window defogger doesn't work right and it's been raining since last night. Plus, I was going to have to take her since son bailed at the last minute and it is in another town. So I warned her yesterday she might not be able to do it and she said she understood and we would play it by ear. This morning she tried to talk me into it anyway and argued with me about weather, it's effects on the car, etc. Finally, I just said "I don't know." She said she would cancel the appointment, but now it looks like my son is taking her.

I guess this is a good thing because I don't have to take her, but I'm pretty sure they are both made at me and it doesn't feel like a good thing.

Am I being selfish?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITGRL124 11/29/2014 8:02AM

    You are going above and beyond for her. I do not think you are being selfish one bit!!!!
Sorry to hear you have lost your alone time. It's important to take time for yourself. Don't forget that. emoticon

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WONDERGALE 11/22/2014 12:09AM

    I don't think you are being selfish. You have already opened up your home to the girlfriend and you drive her around. Sometimes, it's okay to say no. It's your home, your car. You should be able to stand your ground and not feel guilty about it.

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HAZELFRUIT 11/20/2014 7:27PM

    It's hard to deal with, but try saying aloud "They are probably mad at me and that's OK." We all get mad sometimes, rightly or not. I am working on being more comfortable with telling people that I'm overwhelmed or not focusing or even just feeling cranky :) It's great that son and girlfriend are taking positive steps. But it's still irritating I'm sure to have to deal with these almost grown people in your home, eating your food, etc. DH and I are in that situation with DS and we try to be supportive but sometimes we lose patience.

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4KWALK 11/20/2014 2:20PM

    I'm wondering if it is possible that you are doing too much for them. Maybe it's time for them to get out on their own.
I can understand why you are stressed. I would be too. And I know I would be stuffing it all inside me with food.
I hope you can get things worked out for your health.

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SQUIRRELMOMMA1 11/19/2014 7:39PM

    I love my early morning alone time and can't imagine having to give it up. Hope things get better at your house. emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 11/19/2014 3:28PM

    You are going above and beyond for your son's girl friend. I totally understand not getting your alone time and how difficult that can be for someone who tends to be a bit anxious. Don't feel guilty. Proudly do what you can reasonably to help your child and his girlfriend, but let go of the expectation that you will always please them. You can't. What you can do is take care of yourself. You can do it!!

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SKOOKEN 11/19/2014 2:55PM

    if they are mad at you they will get over it, they are becoming adults and need to fend for them selves, plus he should be there to support her, if she passes they will forget about it ,if she fails she will know that you told her to rechedule

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They're Back

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Last night DS came over, profusely apologized and begged for his room back. It was an adult discussion and we were very proud of him. His girlfriend, is a different story. She "refused" to apologize, then when she realized she would be alone AND homeless if she didn't, texted an apology. I'm not impressed, but I am willing to make the concession for my son. We gave them a list of "demands" which they have agreed to and they know this is their last chance. So we'll see...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4KWALK 11/7/2014 2:40PM

    I hope things are working out for you in this situation. Best wishes

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WONDERGALE 10/15/2014 11:13PM

    Everyone deserves another chance. I hope it goes well. emoticon

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NEVERORNOW 10/15/2014 7:34PM

    I hope things go better this time. emoticon

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MICKEYH 10/15/2014 5:57PM

    Mother Love. Good luck my dear. emoticon emoticon

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CAMRY426 10/15/2014 4:08PM

    I hope your son and his girlfriend give you the respect you deserve. Good Luck

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Taking Care of Myself/Tough Love

Monday, October 06, 2014

Last night we had to call the police and have my DS, 19 and his girlfriend, 18 removed from our house. We are all okay and I am mostly relieved. It has been a long time coming. Finally, last night, while I was being called many ugly names a lightbulb turned on in my brain and I realized if I continued to accept this behavior from them then I was disrespecting myself. And how would I be able to demand respect from them if I wasn't respecting myself. So they are gone.
I am taking a week off of work (had vacation coming, thank God!!) to rest and recuperate mentally. Looking forward to long walks with hubby and lots of sleep. Will still see you here on Spark.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_MOBII_ 10/8/2014 10:28PM

    Oh hunny, how stressful! I hope that you get some nice recoup time during your vacation!

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LIFENPROGRESS 10/8/2014 11:27AM

    emoticon Tough love is often the best answer to these difficulties. I am praying for you and wishing you all the best.

“If you have no one to encourage you, instead of using that as an excuse for failure, encourage yourself and use that as a reason why you must succeed.”
~ Kevin Ngo ~

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EJOY-EVELYN 10/8/2014 12:11AM

    Difficult, but then that's why they call it tough love. May you get through this and truly continue to enjoy a special peace.

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KAYTIE22 10/7/2014 9:03PM

    I know this was a very difficult decision but it was the best one for you and your husband based on the circumstances. Enjoy a well-deserved rest.

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SQUIRRELMOMMA1 10/7/2014 4:46PM

    Your title says it all and for that I congratulate you. Not many parents would be able to do that. emoticon

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WONDERGALE 10/7/2014 12:23AM

    I'm so sorry it had to come to that. But you are totally right. Enjoy your vacation! emoticon

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SARAHL817 10/6/2014 11:00PM

    I hope the week off helps you!
Sounds like a bad situation, but I'm glad you did something to make it better. You deserve to be treated with respect, and if they weren't treating you that way, you don't need them in your life.

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 10/6/2014 9:12PM

    Take care!

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    Sounds tough but good for you

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MICKEYH 10/6/2014 5:51PM

    Enjoy your vacation. You deserved it very much.now you need to focus on take care yourself. emoticon emoticon

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MISSLORI5 10/6/2014 4:33PM

    I salute your choice of action!! May your vacation be a refreshing, restful one!!! emoticon emoticon

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NEVERORNOW 10/6/2014 4:25PM


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You're Too Young For Cataracts

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I have worn glasses since I was about 7 years old. And they've always been pretty thick and absolutely necessary. For awhile, in high school, and then on and off throughout my adult years, I wore contacts, but with all my sinus problems my eyes dried out so quickly that glasses were usually a more comfortable option. A few years ago presbyopia kicked in and I found that I could look over the top of my glasses to read a menu, the computer screen, etc., but if I wore contacts I needed reading glasses. So I gave up the contacts completely.
Read more:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EJOY-EVELYN 9/24/2014 7:16AM

    That's good news that you have an added bonus wearing glasses. I love my glasses and even seeing more without them in nearsighted situations.

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BECOMEFEARLESS 9/23/2014 11:10PM


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SIRIUS2014 9/23/2014 6:50PM

    So glad this surgery has advanced so much.

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SQUIRRELMOMMA1 9/23/2014 5:37PM

    I had lasik about 10 years ago and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. It took over a year, however, to get used to seeing myself without the thick glasses and how it felt to have air on my face. Congratulations on your surgery.

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MICKEYH 9/23/2014 1:13AM

    So glad your eye surgery went well. I have very bad eye site too, and wanting to do leisik surgery but can't afford it right now. I'm so happy for you my dear! emoticon emoticon

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Rough Night but Proud of Myself

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Last night DH and I went to a game party at a friend's house. It was my first time "out" with my new eyes. You wouldn't believe the trauma I went through in my head because I am 1 1/2 weeks away from being able to wear eye makeup!! emoticon

Anyway, got to the party and due to my insecurities, had two drinks instead of the one I had planned and then did not keep track of my food. After the party was emotionally uncomfortable, so stuffed my feelings at Jack in the Box.

Got home, went to bed, and discovered that DS, age 19 had stolen alcohol from our bedroom while we were gone. This is not the first time this has happened, so even though it was after midnight, I decided to call him out on it, gently.

So here's where I think I actually did something right. DS and I argued, but it was a rational, thoughtful argument. I let him know that he needed to step up and admit to his mistakes, be a man, and start taking care of himself.

I know that it is the self-confidence that I gained through Spark and the support of all of you that allowed me to have this discussion and to realize that I can not be responsible for my son's life decisions. My happiness is not based on how he is doing. Or my husband for that matter. I am a successful, confident woman without them. Which is hard to say, but I'm also glad that it is true.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLORIDASUN 9/18/2014 11:30AM

    I SO love this blog...I wish more women were as certain of their own necessary self care as you are my friend. I always say if we don't learn to take care of ourselves we surely won't be there to take care of our loved ones will we?

Hugs to you! Love this blog...just love it! emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 9/10/2014 11:44PM

    Good work. Happy that the confidence boost was there for you.

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MICKEYH 9/7/2014 7:44PM

    Way to go for have talked with your DS. I do have a teenage son too. It's kinda hard to deal with because he is not completely kid nor adult. so I understand how complicated life is sometime with him. emoticon emoticon

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NANCYANNE55 9/7/2014 4:53PM

    Of course you are!

Good job on talking to your son. As far as the "mistakes" at the party went, learn what you can from them and then put them behind you. Use them as a tool. That makes them catalysts for positive change instead of true "mistakes".

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EMMACORY 9/7/2014 4:10PM

    It is never easy to confront someone. Hopefully your DS will take your message to heart. Blessings! emoticon

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