Tuesday, July 01, 2014
June was pretty much a disaster for me for a LOT of reasons, BUT I am following the example of another SparkFriend and using it as a “Teaching Moment”.
I have gained 8.2 POUNDS since my low weight of 248.6 on March 16th. What have I learned?
I MUST weigh in DAILY. If I don’t, I “put off” eating as well as I should and exercising because I think I can catch up if I am really good the next day (which obviously did not happen). I fall right back into my “all or nothing” mentality and this is NOT good for me.
What I WILL do is enter my weight into SP on the 1st, 11th and 21st of each month. I am shooting for 3 pounds for each 10 day segment (more or less 10 days depending on how many days are in the month). This would put me at 9 pounds per month which is not unreasonable.
I am striving for 1200 – 1800 calories per day, depending on my activity level, hunger, available food, etc. When it is not really feasible or practical to track my food, (like the upcoming holiday weekend where I will not have internet), I will keep an estimated running calorie tally on my phone and do my best to not go overboard (homemade desserts, beer, chips, etc.).
One thing that really works well for me is planning ahead and prepping. But it only works when I DO IT. Imagine that! I am going to make some healthy salads to take with me to the lake this weekend. Instead of Pasta Salad with veggies, I make a Veggie Salad with a just a little bit of pasta in it. Less calories and more vitamins!
Here is wishing you ALL a wonderful July!
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Disclaimer: Do not read this if you are not in the mood for "Pity Party".
I have been trying to work on this, but I do NOT handle disappointment well. At all. ESPECIALLY when it involves something that I have been anticipating for a very long time. My brain is wired to visualize future events and it does. Frequently. In fact, I can have almost as much fun anticipating a vacation as the vacation. I am not kidding. It is like a little movie in my head. For years I visualized the day my daughter might be married (I did not have a wedding with family, just a very simple wedding with 6 close friends). When DD got tattoos, I had to edit the little movie in my head to include those. Not a disappointment, just a revision. Anyway, you get the idea. This is how my brain works.
I found out on Friday at 5:00 that I will NOT have a window in my office when we move into a new building later this year. I am absolutely devastated. In the plan, I had a window . Apparently they revised the plan. I have been sucking it up since September in a closet office with NO WINDOW and no natural light anywhere even from the hallway. I won't even tell you what I ate on my drive home Friday night. It was not pretty.
When I was in the front office, I had plenty of natural light, not my own office, BUT at least I had a window to the outside world. When my present boss recruited me to transfer to his department, I was sad about losing the light, but I decided I could deal with it since eventually, I was assured that I would have an office with a window in the new facility.
I REALLY, REALLY NEED natural light in the winter. I leave for work in the dark and get home in the dark and I always succumb to depression/anxiety in the winter. I am seriously thinking of looking for another job. My boss said he will try to sway upper management, but I am not hopeful. The thing that makes it harder for me is that I have been so excited for MONTHS, visualizing my new space with a window. This is what has helped me to cope with being in the crappy office I have now.
I just want to cry my eyes out. I am so sick of working hard and always getting shortchanged. I know this sounds childish, but people that are much younger than me and have not worked here as long, will be getting windows. I feel like I have "paid my dues" and FINALLY should have this one "perk". I am SO ANGRY, SAD and DEFEATED.
Sorry, to be such a downer, but I just had to vent. Oh and uh, my washing machine just died. Effing great.
Saturday, May 03, 2014
Tonight we are getting together with my daughter and going out to dinner at a fabulous restaurant at a the beach. This will be an advance, joint celebration to include her 29th birthday, my 57th and Mothers Day. My best friend (and also a surrogate grandma to both of my kids, so she is really family) is coming along and my daughter's girlfriend will be there too. I am going to eat well today with lots of veggies and water. We plan on getting there early and doing a lot of walking, so that is a positive.
First and foremost, my plan for today is NOT to BINGE. Whatever may calories are for the day is what they are as long as I do not go on a full blown binge, I'm happy. The calories will average out for the month anyway and this IS a celebration and I plan to enjoy myself. I will have to "eyeball and guestimate" my calories at dinner. I know I will have a martini, so that's say, 300 - 400 calories depending on how large they make them. DD is making a special cake for after dinner when we go back to her place for coffee. I'm going to say 400 for that, and eat a SMALL piece, VERY SLOWLY and enjoy it.
My entrée will be one of these:
Crispy Rockfish - Sweet Potato Gnocchi, Roasted Grape Tomatoes, Sunburst Squash, Meyer Lemon Sherry Cream, Fennel Arugula Salad, Garlic Basil Oil
Spring Roll Stirfry - Silken Tofu & Wilted Scallion Spring Rolls, Sugar Snap Peas, Malibu Carrots, Sunburst Squash, Red Quinoa, Coconut Sweet Soy Reduction, Shaved Asparagus Smoked Almond Salad
Like I said, I'm going to have to guess, but I AM practicing "Choice Control" (Thank you Dee!).
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