Monday, September 09, 2013
Last spring, I went away for a 12 day retreat and have been struggling to settle back into my training routine since then. Although, I have been active, my eating habits have taken a toll.
A few months later, I realize that some og my priorities have changed. My outlook on training has changed and my motivations for a healthy lifestyle have too. Bottom line, running., strength training, eating right are no longer about appearances. They are really about fuelling a healthy life, a healthy me and achieve my own body. The one that feels right for me.
Along with eating right and exercising comes the need for quiet time to reflect, meditate, connect with myself, the Universe and the God of my understanding.
I am happy when I can achieve and maintain that delicate balance. Besides discipline, I find that a full load of kindness for myself is required. Lately, I have been lacking kindness and letting self-will take over. Guess what? It doesn't work! It just leaves me frustrated and then I resort to self defeating behaviors such as eating mindlessly, lack of rest and absence of quiet time with myself.
Yesterday, I was strolling in the woods with my mate, looking at the trees, breathing fully and just being happy to be there. Being happy to be there says it all.
Enjoying life fully is my goal.
A healthy lifestyle supports my connection to life and fuels my ability to appreciate every moment of it.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
I have not written in a long while. Today, I celebrate my first half-marathon! I ran it in 2:08:05. I am delighted with my performance. Although I had been training on a regular basis for this important challenge, I felt less than ready just a few weeks before the race. I had injured myself after running 16K. Last Friday, I ran a painful 7K as part of my regular training. I was concerned I was dragging myself over 7K. I was even more concerned with the negative messaging happening in my head. I was getting myself convinced I would not be able to do it. That was the worst part. If I think I can't well I CAN'T.
I shared my concerns with friends at the gym. It felt good to get it off my chest. I realized I was not enjoying my runs when I usually love to run. I had lost my focus. I knew the most important thing to address was my attitude. I gave my body a break, I decided to rest for a while. Then I gave myself a break by reminding myself why I had decided to take part in this race in the first place.
First, I decided the only important thing to me was to finish not be the best. I don't earn a living racing! Second, I got the play back in the game. Third, I connected with friends. I had completely forgotten I was running with a girlfriend!
As I ran with my friend, I just let myself follow as she kept a steady pace. It was only by the time we had reached the 18km that I started feeling somewhat tired. We fed on the positive vibes the crowds were pouring onto us. Genuine love for free. We also marveled at the beautiful course allowing us to run in streets were we usually drive. At the end, I carried her by giving the final push and encouraging her to push just a bit harder to finish off beautifully.
Today, now that the race is over and that I did far better than I had planned, I savor true victory. Victory over self-defeating mental attitudes. I am so grateful for my friends presence (and of the other runners). I don't have to do it alone!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
my much awaited vacation is just around the corner. Sunday, I will depart for Greece for a 4 week journey. Travel, foreign cultures and languages, ancient history, archeology and art are areas of passion for me. I am excited yet very grounded and calm about this trip. I have been dreaming of Greece for years and I am about to fullfil that dream. If that wasn't enough, I will be ending my trip in the mythical city of Istanbul-Tukey. Told you, I love to travel.
Taken my fall vacation, I did not take time off during the summer and struggled with that for a while when I saw fellow colleages leaving for vacation. I got negative, demotivated at work and plain miserable. I started complaining. At the time, all other things (nutrition, training, etc) were also not going my way and they added to the perceived fatigue.
I don't let myself go downhill for very long. Over the years, I have become very fond of my own company and I make sure I am quality company for myself. After all, I am living 24-7 with myself!
I adopted and appropriate stategy to deal with my discontent. I stopped and sat (literally!) with my moody self in July-August. I asked what was the matter. A full list of complaints just started to flow. I listened and acknolewdged the perceived problems and feelings. I then thought about all that I am given everyday. I realised after a while that there are many people who do not get any vacation at all and I will be given 4 weeks to rest, recharge, fill myself up with the wonders of this world.
When I get stuck in a rut, I don't judge myself. It is absolutely useless. I give myself time to stop, rest and recollect. I embrace what is and ask for guidance from the Divine. I change my outlook on the situation by counting my blessings. I tell you I am given so much every day.
I have gone back to clean eating, regular exercising, all that with a happy and joyfull self. Yet none of my circumstances really changed but my attitude did. Attitude is what determines how I feel and deal with situations and it has yet again helped me through this challenging time.
I am most gratefull that I may share this with you. Namaste
Friday, August 10, 2012
after a rough patch struggling with old issues, I feel home again, back on track with renewed motivation.
These past weeks, I went through my days dragging myself and trying to find balance and peace within. I am making changes, profound changes in order to live the life I want: a balanced, peacefull and fulfilling life. I will achieve this in time.
I relied on close friends for support, read blogs and other postings for motivation and spent lots of quiet time tuning into the inner self just listening to my wisdom. It helped me through.
Every time I am able to overcome difficult times, I feel a deeper sense of self, of connection with the self and with others. This time round I was able to sit through the storm and just stay still. It was hard but I did it. I went back to my yoga mat to meditate.
I was given many words of wisdom by fellow sparkers. They all point in the same direction: self love through acceptance of who I truly am. I am enough as I am. I am human! There is no need to over achieve.
I am grateful for all that is given to me and for the priviledge of sharing it with you. The spark community works small miracles every day. That's why I log in every morning. It is just a great way to start my day.
Enjoy your week end! Much love and light!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
this is the written version of a blog I have been wanting to write for weeks now...
It seems that even with the best of intentions, I tend to get locked up in a gloomy mood that negatively overshadows my soul, my psyche and my body leaving me like a piece of rag.
And I drag the rag from morning to night. It does not matter how much work or how little there is, how long ago the last good time or vacation, how well I eat, train and sleep. It's just there-the gloom-and I feel awfull when it happens. I feel powerless to remove it, change it, shake it. No amount of belly dance shimmy will do the trick!
In the past, I used to shake the gloom away by shopping for things I didn't need, ate food to comfort myself fealing guilty about it afterwards or chasing meaningless relationships just to be left heart broken.
Today, there is progress, I did not fall into my usual traps or very little if I did.
Also, I have a new understanding of the gloom. Rather, I am taking new steps in understanding myself when in the gloom. The most important question about it has become: How? Am I ready to take an honest look at myself, am I opened and willing to change?
Do I need to change? Yes, I need to change my attitude in a way that I have more compassion when I feel off. How I view the situation is paramount because the situation just is neither bad or good. The truth is that I pressure myself to be always on top and it is very hard to tolerate the times when I am not.
I would also add that it is an illusion to believe that I have full control over the situation. I may choose my course of action but I truly believe that the Heavens play a great role as well. I can surrender what I cannot control to the Divine and ask for the Grace and Guidance I need.
I am gratefull I walked through the storm once again and that I can now share my experience with all of you.
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