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Anja is alright. And i am back home safely.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Thank you for all the messages and goodies since last time, much appreciated, and thank you for those who light a candle it is placed in a English church and i saw many there, i ask reverend who they were for many was for Aithley.

I went to Cape town to pick up my sister belongs, it was hard thing to do, because her bed had of her lively scent. She hand a tendency to always use aroma shampoos and things and that is how it smelt, almost like she was still there. I wish she was, and she was alive but it isn't so, i am finding it hard to deal the fact my sister is gone and i won't see her anymore, i feel like she is alive her spirit, and it glows bright around those that she meant a great deal to.

I went to cape town Wednesday the 5th. And came back yesterday. Anja awoke on Saturday. When i went there i held her hand and prayed. She looked better than what my sister did, but seeing someone in a coma is also not very nice to see. But i am glad that she came out alright, i spoke with her, we both cried as she did not know of Aithley's fate. She said that Aithley was trying to fight for the both of them, for their lives and if it wasn't for Aithley maybe she too be the same fate as my sister. I will keep contact with this girl, i feel like i owe it to Aithley. Anja was last one to see her alive. Sad part of it, Aithley was due to be home 16th of this month, and we would of had a great Christmas gathering. But now Christmas will be a dark side for us , having loosing someone so close to Christmas it is hard, we will not celebrate it as we usually do but we will have a small dinner together, there will probably be alot of silences due to my sister's passing.

Anja seemed to get stronger and eat normal by the time i left. David seems like a nice bloke too, i see why my sister had fancied him, he would of been a good husband to my sister i believe.

Krystle and I have planned a date 20 May 2014 for our wedding. We may use some of my sister ideas she had some ideas and plans for being our bridesmaid, we didn't replace her instead we just have the 2 bridesmaid and the maid of honor, Aithley was to be the 3rd bridesmaid.

Since Aithley had no man nor children, her items, house and such went to our parents. But Krystle and I will use her house, since we were living with my parents in their farm house in York and Aithley has a nice house in London, for work it is about same distance or maybe in future we can find something closer to London. So we have our own space, i feel her spirit at home though. And for sometime i probably will.

I believe Aithley is an Angel watching over us.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PROUD-GRANDMA 3/28/2013 11:15PM

    Your sister still inspires with her messages in her blogs! Amazing & creative! emoticon

She gave me an orchid goodie from her sanctuary blog on 11/2/12. You can feel the love she has for her family

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ANY010113 2/15/2013 12:22PM

    condolences and hope all is well with you and the rest of family and Anja.

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JOYCECAIN 1/6/2013 3:11PM

    Wishing you and your family blessings and condolences. God bless you. Joyce

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JENIYE707 12/29/2012 6:07PM

    I am sorry to hear about your sister. I will keep your family in my prayers. emoticon

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IYA_EKUNDAYO 12/24/2012 8:57AM

    Thinking of you and your family.
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PICKIE98 12/22/2012 5:27PM

    Dear Adrian,
I am returning here to Aithley's (and your) page to see how you are doing, as well as your family. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, a blessed and holy time. I feel that your sister is hovering over you and yours, sending you all feelings of her love and devotion.
We Spark people will never forget her, a person who touched lives she would never have known otherwise. Please feel free to continue being here on her behalf or you and the new Mrs. Adrian.
May He hold you all in His arms this week, wrapping you in His love and concern. We all know Aithley is walking with Him, being part of his new set of angels, to watch over you and all of her friends and family.
Your sharings here are a highlight of my day, bless you for them. Please share love and hugs with Anja, telling her of Sparks concern for her too.
Linda

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JENNCABA 12/22/2012 12:29PM

    emoticon

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BJPENNY70 12/19/2012 1:28PM

    Adrian,

I sent you a SparkMail through Aithley's page. Please read it. Aithley and I had become friends through SparkPeople. Reading this blog makes me cry. Especially the part about David making a good husband. She talked about that with me. Not David in particular, but about having a future husband that would be a good man. She was excited about the holidays, too. This breaks my heart. She was so sweet and funny, too. We had a lot of good talks together. I just found out a few minutes ago about her passing. I had been away in the hospital for several weeks and wasn't able to keep in contact. She was killed the day before my first surgery. I was anxious to get back to all of my Spark Friends. Aithley was especially on my list, because I wanted to catch up with how she was doing. I can't tell you the shock of reading of her death. So very sorry, Adrian! I can't seem to stop crying. Such a sweet caring human being just taken away like that. You and your family are in my prayers.

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JUJIFRUIT 12/18/2012 11:01AM

    Thanks for checking in with us. I still feel Aithley's bright spirit on Sparkpeople . I'm glad Anja is doing well. I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep praying for you and your family.

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LYNMEINDERS 12/17/2012 4:39PM

    Thankyou so much for this up date.....I am so pleased that Anja is coming right...I am sure she will become apart of your family as the days tick by....
Ah won't be Aithley but she will be someone special in your lives...
My prayers continue for you all

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STACYR31 12/17/2012 4:38PM

    I am so very sorry for your loss! There is so much death and tragedy in our world that it just makes me want to cry on a daily basis. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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RYDERB 12/15/2012 11:34PM

    emoticon

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AKRONEWITTER1 12/13/2012 10:29PM

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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ASHAIXIM 12/13/2012 4:10PM

    I'm still reeling from the news about your sister. She was a great SparkFriend and will be very missed. I'm glad Anja is going to be alright, at least physically. I hope that her memory can bring you and her parents some small measure of comfort over the holdiays. emoticon

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MERAINA 12/13/2012 3:31PM

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BEETH52 12/13/2012 10:17AM

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-COURT- 12/12/2012 8:38PM

    Thank you for the update on Anja. My prayers still go out to you and your family.
Congratulatons on your upcomig marriage.

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REFFIE1 12/12/2012 6:04PM

    I meant to tell you that our whole group on this site called the Peppy Party have a challenge to do random acts of kindness all this month in Aithley's honour. she was a kind, loving person who set the example.

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AMYBELLES 12/12/2012 12:59AM

    Thank you so much for updating us on what has been happening for you as you went to CapeTown to get your sister's things, mourn her loss and see and talk to Anja (thank God she is okay!) I am glad you can come here to write about Aithley and keep her memory alive, as many people loved her here. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. It will be a very sad holiday for all of you. I wish you peace and love!

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IZZYBEBOP 12/11/2012 1:36PM

    Thank you so much for updating us on Anja. Glory to God for keeping her alive. I imagine she has a long road ahead, and might have some difficulty over the fact that she lived and Aithley died.
emoticon on your upcoming wedding. I'm sure Aithley will be smiling down from heaven on that blessed day.
My heart goes out to your family during this holiday season.
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Susan

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NANCYSINATRA 12/11/2012 12:41PM

    emoticon My heart goes out to you

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TWEETYKC00 12/11/2012 9:58AM

    I am sure your sister is watching over you now and she will also be with you in spirit for Christmas. I am glad that Anjay is awake and will be ok now.

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LOSER05 12/11/2012 9:52AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JUSTME29 12/11/2012 8:51AM

    I'm so glad to hear that Anja is recovering. I know the news was hard for her, but I'm so glad that you were there when she found out. Having someone to grieve with and tell her story to may have made all the difference in the world for her. I'm so glad she woke while you were there.

I'm glad you and your lady will be using Aithley's house. Her presence will be comforting and the memories you have of her will be kept alive there more than anywhere else.

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MOMOFBOYS 12/11/2012 8:15AM

    You are in my continued prayers......Aithley is an angel with you always. It doesn't surprise me that she was the one to fight! She was about putting others first. I'm thankful Anja is getting better but feel so sorry that Aithley is gone. Best of luck to you with your wedding and marriage. Your sister will always be with you. God bless you all!

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REFFIE1 12/11/2012 1:22AM

    I am glad you are going to keep in contact with Anja and that she is doing better. I feel for your loss especially during the Christmas season. I am glad you are going to remember Aithley in your wedding plans. I am sure her spirit remains and that she will always be with you in your heart. I know I won't forget her. emoticon

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JUSTLLAMA 12/11/2012 12:50AM

    You're in my continued prayers!

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BEFIT014 12/11/2012 12:49AM

    I'm glad to hear Anja is awake & recovering. What a shock it must have been for her to hear of her friends' passing. I still can't belive her being gone, either. I miss her and never even met her.

It could not have been an easy thing to have to pick up her things.

I'm sure it won't be an easy Christmas with her being gone.But she would want you to go on, not to be sad.

Aithley was so happy and excited for your upcoming wedding. Lots of good memories, I hope, with you living in her home. I'm sure she'll be looking down on you, smiling.

My best wishes to you and your family during this holiday season.

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LOSINGLINNDY 12/11/2012 12:27AM

    I still can not believe Aithley is gone either. Thank you for the update on her friend, Anja. Thanks to God for her recovery. Aithley is a hero, so brave in such a vicious situation. I will always remember her as the wonderful friend she was to me..

Congratulations on your wedding.

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POSITIVELY_EB 12/10/2012 11:55PM

    I'm glad that Anja will be OK. I wish the same for you and your family! Get on with life - Aithley would want that! And I believe she is watching out for you and the rest of her family!

HUGS!

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NORASPAT 12/10/2012 11:16PM

    I am glad her fiend is doing well, Sorry again for you loss, so very sad.
I lived in Yorkshire I walked as a child on the North Yorkshire moors and I tell EVERYONE to visit YORK if they go to England. Take care Pat in Maine USA.
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MRSBIGGLESWORTH 12/10/2012 10:20PM

    I'm so glad that Anja is doing well and you were able to talk with her. I'm hoping you found some comfort in that connection despite your loss. Aithley will always be watching over your family - she will always be there in spirit and would want you all to be happy. I know this is a hard time to lose someone - we lost my dad five days before Christmas and buried him just two days before...it was a time for reflection, loss, but a time to be thankful for the family we had together on that day.

Thank you for the update again, and God bless you and your family.
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SUSIEPH1 12/10/2012 10:19PM

    I am so very glad you had the chance to go back and feel Aithley's Spirit around you ..
Glad you could also be there to be with Anja
It is good to have closure and to know that one day you will all be together again .
Blessings and Love .Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/10/2012 10:20:58 PM

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CATHYGETSFIT 12/10/2012 9:37PM

    I'm so glad to hear that Anja is awake and seems to be improving each day. I'm sure Aithley would be happy about that. I'm also glad to hear that you went there and came home safely. I'm sure it must have been very hard to go pick up her things. I'm glad to hear that you will be staying in touch with Anja. I think Aithley would be happy about that.

I know that Christmas will be hard for you and your family. I know it will not be the same without Aithley there with you. Her spirit will always be with you though. I hope that all of your memories of Aithley will help you get through this difficult time and other difficult times that you may have.

I think that's great that you and Krystle will be using some of Aithley's ideas in your wedding. I know that she was really excited about your wedding. I think it's really wonderful that the two of you will be living in her house. I think she would like that.

That's so awesome that so many people lit a candle for Aithley. Aithley is definietly and angel watching over you and the rest of her loved ones. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts!

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Cathy

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BARBIE176 12/10/2012 8:52PM

    Thank you for the update. I am truly thanking God for Anja doing better and seeming to improve each day. I know that would make Aithley happy.

You are right that this holiday will be one where your family misses Aithley. Grief is a long and winding road, but each day will bring you more peace. I pray that your happy memories of Aithley will help you get through the tough times. My prayers will be continuing for all of your family, especially during the holidays.

I think it is nice that you will be using some of your sister's ideas for your wedding and not replacing her as a bridesmaid. I pray peace for you and Krystle. I know how excited Aithley was for the two of you. I think she would like that you will be living in her house.

How awesome that so many candles were lit for Aithley. I pray that it brought you some comfort to know how many people will miss her. She truly is an angel and I am sure you will feel her presence often. Send hugs and prayers for your family.

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NEWKATHYNOW 12/10/2012 8:20PM

    I went to the church on the internet and lit a candle for your sister. I will pray for coomfort for you and your family as well as Anja, in your sorrow. May the light of the Perpetual shine upon her forever.

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MARGOMANIAC 12/10/2012 7:59PM

    Thanks again for this new update. I am happy that Anja is doing better and that you are going to watch over her...that would please Aithley, I am sure.

Each day that goes by you will miss your sister and as time goes on your memories of her will help you get through other situations, both happy and sad.

I know that Christmas will be a very sad time for you and your family and I will continue to say prayers that God will give you solace at this time. As a family you will give each other strength and grow closer together.

God bless all of you.

Best regards,
Margo (Canada)
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KALANTHA 12/10/2012 7:54PM

    I very sorry for your loss. May you find peace in knowing that Aithley's love will live forever in your heart.

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DBELLE39 12/10/2012 7:35PM

    Yes, indeed Aithley was an angel & is watching over you & your family. Hugs & prayers for your family.

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TIME4AFITME 12/10/2012 7:35PM

    emoticon

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KATHYJO56 12/10/2012 7:25PM

    You are so right, Aithley is an angel watching over all of her loved ones. emoticon emoticon

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Didn't expect this

Sunday, December 02, 2012

I seemed to have been drawn to this site i don't know why, i guess it could be Aithley telling me look. And boy i didn't expect so many spark mails, replies to the last note and those so called goodies items. It is overwhelming and nice feeling that she touched the lives of many people. I do miss her. And nothing i can do can bring her back, i looked through some of the blogs she posted. And some team groups she belonged to to see what the fuss is about of sparkpeople, i am really glad she found such sight to help her through her weight struggles, She always seemed to have struggled with weight, most people says she looks like grandma, reasonably tall and round. And always smiled. That too was Aithley, and i loved her. I remember the nicest memories of her smile and end up crying. I never thought i would outlive my sister, She was just 25 and had done so much with her life alot more than i have.

I lit a few candles for her on this page. If you want to do so too here is a link londoninternetchurch.org.uk/worship/
light-a-candle/


I also donated to the organisation she worked with for abroad. Here is the link to that www.msf.org.uk/ I know she often worried about there not being enough funds for her continue with her work.

On top of things i keep thinking, if she stayed in cape town 2 weeks more, she be safe at home, she was due to come back 16 December. But i know she wouldn't have had any regrets doing what she did. And i am proud of her

I spoke with people at the Aids center where she last worked in Cape Town. Anja is still in a coma, but is stable, and she is showing more signs that she will come out of it which is good, i would like to talk to her, since she was the last person to have seen Aithley alive. Plus i need to go to Cape town and collect Aithley's belongings, i don't want my parents to go they are elderly and i don't want the same fate happen to them, as it is known young females and elderly are main targets there. I heard the men who are accused for assaults on my sister and her room mates have been found, but it is not known what the consequences are for them, it was a series of 3 men. But sad thing is this happens often in Johannesburg, it may be beautiful but some places you really need someone strong to protect you from things like this. I just miss her , I wish i was there to protect her.

Her body arriving in England was not what i expected, i always pictured her with perfect complexion, And a beauty, but taking my parents to see her body when it arrived it was hard, you could hardly recognize her, she was blue and black from what happened to her. Her funeral was yesterday, was a beautiful day i must say. We chose to do a closed casket because of the state she was in. My dad made a beautiful memorial table at home for dear Aithley.

I see there is alot of people that wants me to keep updated on Anja, well i probably go to Cape town in a week or 2 to pick up the things and i can tell you more then. Thankyou for the support you have given to me and my family. Although some people mistake Riley as our surname. It is her 2nd middle name. Our surname isn't Riley. I placed it as a C. for the surname, as i don't know if she told our surname so i didn't want to give out too much.

I miss you Aithley. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYCECAIN 1/6/2013 3:06PM

    Thank you for the posting. Please be careful on your trip.

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BJPENNY70 12/19/2012 1:54PM

    Adrian,

I am so sorry you and your parents had to see Aithley in that state. Just remember her how she was as much as you can. That was nice that your dad made a memorial table for her. She is missed. I enjoyed so much talking with her. She would make me laugh so hard sometimes. My husband always knew when I was talking to her. I was always smiling or laughing. She was great to talk to. I told her it was wonderful that she had worked so hard to become a nurse and then share her time to help others in such desperate countries. Many were very fortunate to have known her. I am glad the men that harmed her and Anji were caught. I hope they are punished in a way to fit the crime they did. I will pray for Anji's full recovery, also. Take comfort in the wonderful memories you have of her. She was a sweet wonderful young woman. I am glad I was blessed to have been friends with her. I will miss her very much!

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DBELLE39 12/10/2012 7:38PM

    Thank you for updating, it's still hard to fathom that she's not popping on with motivation, but I know she is looking down over those she loved & cared for so much.

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 12/9/2012 3:34PM

    Thank you for updating us. Your family is still in my prayers.

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DEEGIRL50 12/9/2012 12:06PM

    Aithley made a difference in this world. She will be sadly missed by many.
Thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you and your family.
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BEFIT014 12/9/2012 5:52AM

    Oh I wish I had seen this earlier! Thank you so much for coming back and updating us. I lit a candle for her on the website you listed. Thank you for that!

I can't imagine what you & your family are going through. My prayers continue to be with you all. I'm sorry you have to go to SA to collect her things. If you can, please tell Anja LOTS of people are thinking & praying for her. emoticon emoticon

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 12/8/2012 9:58PM

    emoticon

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MSMOSTIMPROVED 12/8/2012 9:53PM

    I didn't think it was possible to have cyber friends but, the loss of your sister just proves I have more to learn. She was just a such a bundle of energy and positivity that I am very happy I had the honor of crossing paths with her.

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SENIMMO 12/8/2012 8:57AM

    Continuing prayers for your family. As you can see, your sister will never be forgotten. Again, thank you for sharing with us. emoticon

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PICKIE98 12/8/2012 6:56AM

    Adrian,
I am absolutely thrilled that you keep coming back to Sparks to fill u sin. You are a wonderful person, I can see where Aithley gets her charm and giving personality. Maybe some day you can pull this spark page up for your parents and let them read how much love was shared both ways here with your sister. We never know how our words and actions will ever affect another person,, you and yours have the privilege to see that in action here.
If not for Sparks and Aithley joining it, all of these people, WORLDWIDE, would never have been touched by the gift that is your sister. That is the message that I wish to convey to you and your family. thank you for keeping us posted on your family and Anja.. Linda from Michigan, USA

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MISSCUS 12/7/2012 2:39AM

    So so very sorry. It is so very hard to lose our loved ones. Prayers for your sister and for Adrian and Aithley's parents. May you find peace.

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MARGOMANIAC 12/5/2012 7:42PM

    Adrian, I have to echo all the others that have posted on this blog before me. Aithley has a wonderful brother and family and I know that she would be cheering you for keeping us informed. I continue to pray for her, Anja, your family and friends. Aithley is no longer physically on Earth, but she is very much with all who knew and loved her. As long as one of us remembers, she will never be gone.

Hugs and Godspeed on your journey to Cape Town.
Margo
Leader of Wave Runners~Changing Tides

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FLORIDAGHOST 12/4/2012 9:08AM

    I didn't know her until a SparkFriend told me about her and what happened. I can see she was a star to all who knew her and it's because she had a good family. I am sorry you have to go through this, but it proves you loved her.

I wish you peace and knowledge that she is in a better place. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/4/2012 9:08:44 AM

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MRSBIGGLESWORTH 12/3/2012 11:17PM

    Thank you for the update - we really appreciate you taking the time to do this. We really miss her too. We'll be praying for your family and Anja to get through this.
God bless all of you.
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NEWKATHYNOW 12/3/2012 11:00PM

    emoticon

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REFFIE1 12/3/2012 3:41PM

    No wonder Aithley spoke so highly of you Adrian, you are just as kind and caring as she was. Thank you for the update. I feel her spirit is still with us and will somehow go on. She made a difference to many and they will always have that in their hearts. Please keep us posted about Anja. Love to you and your family during this difficult time. emoticon

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KATHYJO56 12/3/2012 12:51PM

    Thank you for letting us know what has gone on. We miss her so much. emoticon

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DDOORN 12/3/2012 12:28PM

    Thank you for your update...have left my candle and a prayer for peace that will spread throughout our world and capture our spirits to prevent any further tragedies.

Don

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HONEYLEA 12/3/2012 11:40AM

    Thank you Adrian for the update. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We have started a "Random Act of Kindness for Aithley" thread on our team in her memory. She did so much for others that I think she would be pleased we are taking up where she left off.

Godspeed to you in your upcoming travels.

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FP4HLOSER 12/3/2012 11:18AM

    Thank you Adrian. I will continue to pray for Anja and all of you! Peace be with you! emoticon

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RICHILA 12/3/2012 11:06AM

    Adrian, thank you for the update. I am keeping Anja in my prayers along with you and your family.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 12/3/2012 10:12AM

    emoticon adrian i can only imagine how hard it must have been for you writing this.thank you for the information it os much appreciated.i will check out them links later as i have to pick my son up from nursery.keep our family still in my prayers . emoticon

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SKINNIESOMEDAY 12/3/2012 9:58AM

    Adrian thanks so much for posting the update for us ! We are so glad to hear from you and know that your family is in our prayers and wish I could hug you in person !

emoticon

christine

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TRAVELIN_FOOL 12/3/2012 9:42AM

    Thanks so much for keeping us updated. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

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LILAC_LANE 12/3/2012 8:27AM

    My prayers are with you and your family.

Your sister's memory continues to inspire me
and keeps me from giving up.

She truly made a difference for me.
I will always remember her.

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CASEYTALK 12/3/2012 6:16AM

    Reading your posts, I hear your voice and kindness and pain. Aithley was fortunate to have you for her brother. You are very thoughtful to come here and keep us informed.

if you ever wish to join SP in your own right, please give us your name. You will have many friends from the moment you join.

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CATHYGETSFIT 12/3/2012 5:08AM

    Thank you Adrian, for taking the time to update us. I still think of your sister daily and wish I had had a chance to get to know her better. Many people on two of the teams Aithley was on commented on how positive, upbeat and motivating she was. We miss her too.

I'm sorry you have to go to Cape Town to gather Aithley's belongings. I know that it will not be an easy thing for you to do but I'm glad you will be going and not your parents. If you get to speak to Anja while you are there be sure to let her know that there are a lot of people whom don't know her that are thinking about her and hoping she'll recover.

Please know that all of us who knew Aithley are keeping you, your parents, family and friends in our thoughts and prayers. Keep coming back whenever you want or need. We are all here for you! Thank you again for updating us! I hope that you and your family will be able to find some peace!

Sending you and your family lots of emoticon
Cathy

Comment edited on: 12/3/2012 5:09:42 AM

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CHICAT63 12/3/2012 5:06AM

    Adrian, thank you for your blog. Again, our thoughts are with you and your family. Myself, I work in international development and I am fully aware of these types of very, very, unfortunate accidents. Please feel free and share with us at any time. emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 12/3/2012 5:04AM

    I am glad you are here and checking in, we miss her as well. You and your family will continue to be in our thoughts. Please do keep us updated when you can.

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STEVIEBEE569 12/3/2012 3:26AM

    Please have a safe trip! Once more, may God provide strength, peace & comfort to you and your family, especially during this holiday season! I lost my sister 20 years ago and I completely understand how you feel! Again, take care of yourself & be safe while you go to Cape Town! Safe journey & may God's precious angels watch over you!

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JUSTLLAMA 12/3/2012 3:06AM

    Adrian - you and your family are in my continued thoughts and prayers.

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SUSIEPH1 12/3/2012 1:28AM

    Adrian dear.
Thank you so much for taking the time to let us share this terrible part of your sisters last journey..
Yes, Sparkpeople is a amazing site and not only do we share our weight lose journey we also share our lives..
Many of us have wonderful friendships that we have made in the years we have been traveling this road .
We are such a supportive lot and I am sure we can be of some support to you too ..
It must be a horrific time for you and your family and I and many others are with you in spirit ..
Thank you so much for sharing your dear sister with us ..
Take care on your journey to Africa and I hope Anja is improving..
Know that our hearts go out to her too ..
Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/3/2012 1:30:09 AM

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FAIRYANNE3 12/3/2012 1:15AM

    Adrian thank you for taking the time to post another entry. I am so sorry that this horrible thing has happened in your lives. You, your parents and friends will be for ever changed.
Some times we try and look for the good that might come from such a tragedy. It is early days but I hope that something good comes out of this. Perhaps medical equipment could be donated in her name or books etc for the children. Some thing that would honour her memory. Then Aithley could be remembered for her life and the goodness she spread and not the way she died.

If you would just bare with me for one moment I just want to share something. My parents died when I was rather young. Dad when I was 7 and mum when I was 12. I had to move almost 90 miles from my home to live with relatives. In the years to come I met my husband. If my parents had not died I would never had been in London, I never would have met him and had our three children.

I hope that you can feel the affection through Spark People and know that our hearts go out to you and yours. Travel safe and perhaps you can give us another update on how you are doing, your parents and of course Anja.
Best Wishes from Ann B.

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KATHYMAG 12/3/2012 12:17AM

    Hugs to you - and safe (albeit difficult) journey to Cape Town......you certainly have tough days ahead of you! If Anja is awake while you are there, please tell her she has thousands of people around the world pulling for her!! What a tough road she has ahead of her!! I hope her clinicians are gentle with her as they bring her up to date.

So many prayers and positive energy to all of you!!

Thinking of you often -

Kathymag
17 Day Diet Team

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BARCLE 12/2/2012 11:54PM

    emoticon I can only imagine what your family is going through - you sound like an amazing brother too emoticon

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POSITIVELY_EB 12/2/2012 11:06PM

    Thank you, Adrian! You sister's passing is still on many of our minds and we speak of her often. We started a thread on the 100+ First Step Club this month about doing Random Acts of Kindness in her honor. It's been fun reading what people are doing.

Thank you for updating us! And may you find some peace in all of this turmoil!

HUGS!
Beverly

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Sad News on Aithley's behalf

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Not sure if i am doing this correctly. But i think it is how Aithley explained it to me. I am her brother Adrian she said she mentioned me a few times so you would know somewhat about me. I never thought i would have to actually write a note on her page, My parents got a phone call from a hospital in Cape Town.

Not sure if she mentioned about going to Johannesburg with her roommate. I forget her name. For the weekend, The girls were beaten and lets not get into details. But their bodies were sent back to Cape town, Aithley and her friend were in coma. They were in life supports, They were doing some tests on the girls to see if it was worthwhile to keep them on life support, Aithley condition she was brain dead and showed no life, so they took her off the machine, and my poor baby sister gone just like that. The room mate still has a chance she showed some life, so there is still some hope for her. Aithley body is planned to be shipped to England tomorrow evening.

She was telling me how great it was working in South Africa, alot better than other places, she has worked, She told me about how she fancied David. I never knew someone like her, she was one of those people that was a light in my meaning, she never had any enemies, there were those who judged her on the outside, but she didn't care she made easily friends, and i see even the time she has been on this site, she has made a ton of friends too. That was my sister, she had a big heart, and now she is taken away from me, She was so happy to be a bridesmaid at my wedding, now she gets no chance, no chance of actual love, or to build a family of her own. My kids would never know how special their aunt was, this news has come to us such a shock, we just don't know how to deal with it, tomorrow when viewing her i believe it will hit us really hard.

Aithley Anne Riley C.
29th September 1987 - 27th November 2012
Aged 25
Survived by her parents , brother (and sister in law), and friends.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNYD97 8/11/2013 7:13PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. May God help you through the years ahead

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JOYCECAIN 1/6/2013 3:04PM

    I am saddened at your loss. Blessings to you and your family.

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JENIYE707 12/29/2012 6:17PM

    I never knew your sister. But i did read her spark page a couple of times. I am so sorry to hear about her passing. I hope that you will stay on this site and keep her memory alive. I can tell by what you wrote you are a great brother and you loved her alot. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. emoticon

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MACILINN 12/27/2012 5:11AM

    Thank you for taking the time to share this w/us. I didn't know her but I can tell you really loved her, What a tragic story. We at sparks really do get to care about each other that was nice of you to care too. Take care, and I am so sorry for you and your familys loss.

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DRAGONFLY126 12/26/2012 8:44PM

    Please accept my deepest condolences. Know you were Blessed by her light. I shall light a candle for her and the family. emoticon emoticon

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SAMMYDIZZLE81 12/17/2012 4:30PM

    I just logged on to Spark after a short hiatus...I am saddened by the news. So sorry for your loss...her sparkle will be missed.

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GODZDESIGN95 12/12/2012 6:48PM

    emoticon I am sorry for your loss I will pray for the family.

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GETTINGSERIOUS 12/11/2012 10:36PM

    So sorry about your loss. Praying for you!

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STEVIEBEE569 12/3/2012 3:22AM

    So, Sorry for your lost! May God give you & your family strength during this time!

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2BDYNAMIC 12/2/2012 3:48PM

    Hard to find words w/ the tears that keep streaming down my face ............. I just can't imagine how or why people can do the things they do to others. I send extreme empathy and hugs to you! ............... so sorry,........... Jan emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 12/2/2012 3:36PM

    So very sorry for your family's loss..I too have a daughter who is the same age so it breaks my heart to hear of such a young vibrant woman leaving this earth. Many prayers going out to you all.

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MYJUNIEMOON 12/2/2012 1:24PM

    May you and your family find peace.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 12/2/2012 10:12AM

    I'm so, so sorry for you loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon

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RAINBOW_LADY 12/2/2012 1:52AM

  My thoughts are with you and your family at this terrible time
emoticon

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GINGERPAWZ 12/1/2012 5:55PM

    I am so emoticon to hear about your sisters death. I know how it is to lose someone you love very much at such an young age. My first husband died in an Auto accident when he was 21. You will never forget her and will always remember things that happened at different times of the year.

My emoticon s are with you in this sad time.



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REENSKI 12/1/2012 3:22PM

    Sovery soory for your loss.
Hugs and prayers to you and all friends and family.
emoticon emoticon

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AMYBELLES 12/1/2012 1:40PM

    I am very shocked and saddened to hear of Aithley's tragic death. My heart goes out to you and your family, Adrian. I feel very sorry that I did not get to know your sister - i was on her challenge team in October, but I had dropped out of SP for two months, and never had the chance to get to know her. That was my loss. I can see what a special and incredible young woman she was -so caring and motivating to manyin the short time she was on this site! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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BAZNCAZ 12/1/2012 12:44AM

    PLEASE ACCEPT MY CONDOLENCES ON YOUR VERY SAD SENSELESS LOSS.

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NORASPAT 11/30/2012 11:49PM

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your little sister.
So very sorry indeed that such a wonderful young woman was taken from us, she had such potential. Always keep her memory secure and do share as much as you can with your children. Thanks for being so brave as to let us all know about this and post this blog for us to share you and your families sorrow.
Stay strong, ((HUGS)) Pat in Maine U.S.A. Originally From Middlesborough England. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SKEEWEE2MEK 11/30/2012 9:09PM

    So sorry for your loss. emoticon

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PICKIE98 11/30/2012 6:54PM

    May you and your family find the healing and strength that will help you through this unthinkable tragedy. Know that we, as a community, share your sorrow and hope that you let your family know about the thousands of lives your sister touched, just be being a part of us.
You will be the person to share her life with your children. Gentle hugs to you and emoticon yours, dear Adrian.


Comment edited on: 12/1/2012 5:36:07 PM

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SURVIVOR61 11/30/2012 4:46PM

    Hi Adrian, IMAVISION is right about keeping your sisters memory alive for the sake of your children. I too lost a younger sibling, it does get easier, but you never really get over the grief of loosing someone you loved and grew up with...I will keep you and your family in my prayers this Holiday season for we here at Spark People share in you loss of a beautiful SPARK that has gone out.... emoticon

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ROSALIEESTHER 11/30/2012 2:24PM

    So very very sorry to hear of your loss and the suffering your sister and her friend experienced. Truly grateful to you for writing this moving blog. I hope you are well and that you have support.

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ESILBO 11/30/2012 2:15PM

    SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSS. HOPE YOU FIND STRENGTH TO GO THROUGH HER LOSS, IN SOMETHING YOU BELIEVE IN.
THANK YOU FOR LETTING US KNOW, ADRIAN AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

LOVE
LISE emoticon emoticon

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TWNOMWE 11/30/2012 12:39PM

    emoticon It is such a senseless loss and my heat goes out to all of your family. May God keep her soul safe and comfort all your family.
emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 11/30/2012 11:40AM

    So very sorry for your loss. emoticon

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HALINHALF 11/30/2012 10:44AM

    I'm so sorry to hear this!

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MISSBEX24 11/30/2012 10:26AM

    I have never connected with her on here, but saw the news from someone else's page... How sad for you and your family. And for the world to have lost such a young woman who, from what I've seen on here, was a wonderful person.

Your family is in my thoughts.

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CAROLJ35 11/30/2012 10:21AM

    Such a sad story! Such a loved person!

I am so sorry for your family. God Bless all of you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHIROIHANA 11/30/2012 10:17AM

    OMG, what a horrible tragedy. Adrian, I am truly sorry for your loss. You, your family and her roommate are in my prayers.

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CLAIREESE 11/30/2012 9:28AM

    Such a cruel world out there. My heart is saddened and may God heal the pain you and your parents are going through. Short life for Aithley on earth, but she is really happy, never ever any pain or tears, where she is now with the Lord. Thanks so much for alerting the SparkPeople family. God Bless You and your families. emoticon

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LYNMEINDERS 11/30/2012 2:35AM

    OMGosh...I am so so sorry...my thoughts and prayers are with you all

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KALISWALKER 11/30/2012 12:01AM

    My condolences to you and your family.

emoticon

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JACKIE542 11/29/2012 10:57PM

    So sorry! emoticon

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COLLEGEGIRL909 11/29/2012 10:10PM

    Sooo sorry for you lost praying for you and your family emoticon

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BRANDTSGIRL 11/29/2012 10:08PM

    I did not know your sister, but i'm so ,sorry this has happened to her and your family my prayers are with your all who are concerned.

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PURPLE_ROSE_BUD 11/29/2012 9:25PM

    I am so sorry . . . emoticon


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BLUEBIRDSFLY 11/29/2012 9:21PM

    I am so deeply sorry that your sister and your parents' child lost her life in such a violent way. It is beyond comprehension. I know that Aithley is at peace now and I hope with time that you and your family will somehow find peace as well as I am sure that is what she would have wanted. My condolescences to both you and your family.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Many blessings for you and your family. May God keep you close.

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MRSBIGGLESWORTH 11/29/2012 8:26PM

    There are no words to describe such a senseless loss. She was such a sweet and positive person - we will truly miss her. Thank you for letting us know - our prayers are with you and your family.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ZACEVETOB 11/29/2012 8:25PM

    This is just to terrible for words, My heart goes out to you Adrian and your family. 25 years such a young age to be taken away. I hope you are able to find the peace and comfort from the cherished memories you had of her despite how hard this may be. emoticon

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IMAVISION 11/29/2012 7:59PM

    Please accept my deepest sympathy at the murder of your beloved sister, Adrian. Having lost an older brother to death at age twenty-nine, I know some of the pain you are experiencing at the loss of your cherished little sister, Aithley.

Try hard to keep Aithley's memory alive for your children, Adrian. There will be a healing of sorts from her loss (although you will always grieve her loss in this life), for the adults when sharing her memory in such a real way with the younger generation.

We did that with my beloved brother & even though our children did not have the blessing of growing up being around their Uncle, they knew him for the good & godly man that he was. The real joy is knowing that one day in Heaven they will meet him in the presence of our Lord God.

Please know that my sincere prayers for God's peace & comfort are being lifted on behalf of your parents & you: as well as all others who were blessed to have their lives touched by Aithley.

May the Lord God bless you with extra strength & courage over the coming days, as you stand strong for your family, Adrian.

Ima

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_LINDA 11/29/2012 7:24PM

    So very, very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine the sorrow and shock your family feels. You are in my thoughts..
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PATTOMMC3 11/29/2012 7:22PM

    My heart breaks for you and your family....

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STROMSP 11/29/2012 7:14PM

    Adrian, I am so very sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

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LINDA! 11/29/2012 7:06PM

    My prayers are for you and your family. emoticon

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SERENEART 11/29/2012 6:04PM

    Adrian,

Thank you for letting us know. Sending my deepest sympathies to your family during this time and prayers. Also, praying that her friend will survive.

emoticon

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DWEBI09 11/29/2012 5:27PM

    Such senseless tragedy. So sorry for the everyones loss!

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TWINKS55 11/29/2012 4:46PM

    Thank you Adrian for coming here and letting us know what happened. It must be so hard to lose Aithley in such a senseless way. I feel for you and your family. Aithley was as beautiful as you have said here. So many thoughts and prayers are being said for you and your family at this time of such deep sadness.

emoticon Dianne

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CASEYTALK 11/29/2012 3:35PM

    emoticon

I am so sorry.

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DALI3519 11/29/2012 3:14PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss! My prayers go out to you and your family...may God bless you all and give you the strength to deal with the loss of your sister.

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Having issues with sparkpeople

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Not sure what is wrong with it, not sure if i can even post this blog, but i will try, i tried posting my daily blog up a few times but no success, so i have to write today's daily blog tomorrow then. And update things tomorrow, before i head out with Anja to Johannesburg.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIEGRID 11/24/2012 8:19PM

    I didn't have computer problems on the 23rd, but I received NO notices from SparkPeople, so I did a little check last night and for some reason or other on my e-mail preference it was checked not to recieve anymore e-mails from SparkPeople. Now I didn't do this and I corrected it, but...wierd.

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THE_SHAKESHAFT 11/24/2012 11:30AM

    Look like you got your post in :)

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JUSTLLAMA 11/23/2012 11:20PM

    Mine gets wonky from time to time too. For me, it's usually a Javascript issue and restarting my browser helps. Hope things improve!

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LOSER05 11/23/2012 9:35AM

    emoticon

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SENIMMO 11/23/2012 9:19AM

    We sre all so used to the internet now, we forget how many different systems that aren't supposed to be able to be able to work together DO! And with as often as everyone is upgrading their systems (especially at the holidays to sell new products!) It amazes me that anything works at all! I am glad your blog posted for you. Have a wonderful, safe trip!

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HEALTHYLU1 11/23/2012 5:34AM

    Sometimes I am able to switch between browsers - I use any of Firefox, Chrome and Internet Explorer - and be successful that way. emoticon

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LEVELPATHS 11/23/2012 4:38AM

    I had computer probs yesterday too. Couldn't get an internet connection at lunchtime. In the end I blogged in a word doc and saved it and posted it when I could get online again. It sorted itself out with no help from me. Don't know why it does that sometimes. Anyhow, blogging in word did it for me cos I felt so much better when I'd got everything (including computer frustrations!) off my chest!

Enjoy your time in Joburg. :-)



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CHICCHANTAL 11/23/2012 12:28AM

    I lost the internet altogether earlier - had to reset the wifi gadget. Only the second time that's happened in five months.

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BARBIE176 11/23/2012 12:10AM

    Sorry you are having issues with spark. I sometimes have problems too and it is frustrating, but way to go and making do with what you have. Have a wonderful day tomorrow! emoticon emoticon

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BARCLE 11/22/2012 11:31PM

    Sometimes weird things happen - my computer is being funny about Facebook atm emoticon

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THE-MORE-GIRL 11/22/2012 11:08PM

    Good job making do with what was available to you. Enjoy!

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1EMMA2011 11/22/2012 9:31PM

    Sorry you are having troubles. I hope the system gets fixed soon. Happy Thanksgiving!

emoticon emoticon

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MJ7DM33 11/22/2012 8:13PM

  The pages are loading slower than usual for me, but otherwise it's ok.

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BEFIT014 11/22/2012 7:55PM

    I had a very difficult time updating my Friend Feed this mrng. The Page kept 'splitting apart'. Really weird. Good luck!

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GLITTER60 11/22/2012 7:36PM

    sometimes it is the computer, sometimes it is the connection. and sometimes WHO knows.



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OHANAMAMA 11/22/2012 7:08PM

    I've not had any troubles today, but then I've not tried to post a blog... but all else seems to be working well. I hope tomorrow works out better for you here. Happy Thanksgiving!

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JO88BAKO 11/22/2012 6:57PM

    Love all your fall pictures. They are so pretty. Hope you had a great day and a fun trip.

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Day 34 - 21st November 2012 - Africa

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Daily Note

Today i seemed to have more energy than i have been, wonder what had caused me to be so tired in the past week, will see with my blood tests, not sure when they come, it may take 3 weeks, which will just be a week before i go home. Hopefully it comes sooner.

I played soccer today, lol, i have no idea how long ago it was that i played it, there were some young children playing outside the clinic, Anja and I joined in, aswell as David, who is another employee that works there, he is one of the doctors at the hospital. He is quiet handsome, 32 and divorced. Has no children. He too is from England, but has been living here in South Africa for 6 years. He is quiet a charm lol, He is great with kids, maybe i could say i have a small crush on him but i won't let it develop into anything, as i know his plans to stay here for another few years as my home is in England despite how much i enjoy it abroad working. Besides i go home in a month, i don't think i could handle a long distance relationship with having such a short term companionship and i may not return so even if he did have same feelings back i shouldn't start on it. I can just wonder for time being. Lol.

I also danced some, wow can the ladies move their hips, they shake and shake it like there is no tomorrow, all sizes and shapes, and they don't need no Shakira here lol. Their hips do not lie lol. The young ones are really fanatic about their dancing too. They do dance alot better than some of the dance crews out there.

I spoke with Adrian and Krystle on chat. It always nice to have communications like that for people far away. I be glad to see them again. I miss them so much. As well as my parents, They are thinking of having an April or May wedding, which would be nice weather at time in York. They are thinking it in 2014, so a whole year and a bit to plan for it and i get to be a bridesmaid, woohoo, what a thrill. Her maid of honor is her sister Valencia, And the other 2 bridesmaid is her half sister Sadie and her cousin Cheryl, so i am thrilled i get to be one of the bridesmaid too. I guess its because Krystle is already part of the family and we are pretty close too since she has been with my brother for 20 years or so. Krystle has no brothers though. Just Valencia and Sadie. Krystle is the eldest just like my brother. They are truly a perfect couple in my meaning. And i am so great that i get to share this wonderful experience with them.

Mother can not wait to be a grandmother, lol she is expecting one soon after they get married, i don't blame her as Andy is already 30 years old and i am 25. And she approaching 60 i can see her point lol. And all her friends are grandmothers whilst she is still on the waiting list lol, i see how her friends are very proud of their grandchildren and my mother just wants that feeling too. I guess she is afraid of dying young as her mother was not that old when she died. I believe she was only 62. I was a approaching teen when she died.

I guess tomorrow for USA it is thanksgiving day, Happy Thanksgiving day to you then, I have always celebrated it on a set date each year on the 25th, but being away from family and a different country i will not be celebrating it. But i have wished my family a happy thanksgiving and i gave them a list of my thankfulness in case dad wants to read a part from me so it feels like i am there with them.

I notice days i have more energy i seem to write more in my blog lol. I guess that is a good things as i always have something to say lol.
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November Goals

9 days left and November 2012 will be gone. And begin the last days of the last month for the year, scary thought, who swallowed the year up, 2010 didn't seem to go as fast as this year went or did it but just forgotten? lol. I am top of things with my goals. Two more days i can write a week blog about how i have been going with my goals. As well as weigh in day. So we shall see, i am hoping for some loss on the scale, since last week was no loss on scale but i did manage to loose 8cm / 3 inches. Mainly from my waist.
_________________

Sparkpeople Plan

Yep yep yep! Still focused on my plans and why wouldn't i be, i am not giving up yet lol. I will continue this until the day i die lol. Since even when i am goal weight i will still be focused on toning myself and maybe loosing a few more, since the goal weight i picked is on the higher end of my healthy BMI so i will see on that goal weight what i want to do with my body then, although that is still a few years away, but i will get there!

_________________

Motivational Song

Africa by Toto

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCca5
mPMp9A


With alot of singing and dancing in the evening, i thought this would be a great song that people know off would go with the theme. It is an awesome song about Africa.
_________________

Motivational Quote

“Don’t wait for someone to take you under their wing. Find a good wing and climb up underneath it.” ~Frank C. Bucaro

This is a great quote especially for those who struggle with support, i have crept under many wings of people here on sparkpeople and they have been welcoming too lol. I love my spark friends that i have here, so motivating they can be, and when i have a down day they give me a kick and shove and pull my face (well not literally but it feels like it lol) to make me smile and get back on track again, i love it. Thank you for all your support sparkpeople!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTLLAMA 11/24/2012 6:09AM

    Glad you are feeling better! Enjoy your weekend!

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WINNINGBATTLE 11/22/2012 3:37PM

    thanks for the comments

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1EMMA2011 11/22/2012 2:08AM

    Sounds wonderful that you have such lovely things to look forward to! That is so important in life. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POSITIVELY_EB 11/21/2012 8:36PM

    emoticon Love that quote!

HUGS!


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CATHYGETSFIT 11/21/2012 8:03PM

    I'm glad to hear you had more energy today and feeling better. I hope you get the results from your blood tests sooner than 3 weeks.

Dr. David sounds quite handsome! It's a shame that he is going to staying there in Africa and you will going back to England. You can still flirt though! emoticon Nothing wrong with that. emoticon

At least you have a whole year to lose weight before your brother's wedding. It sounds like you really like her.

It sounds like you are doing well all the way around though.

Take care and Happy Thanksgiving!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon

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BEFIT014 11/21/2012 7:48PM

    20 yrs?! Long engagement emoticon. And you get to be bridesmaid-how exciting!

I guess you are feeling a bit better to have a crush on a doctor. That's every mothers' dream emoticon

I have NO doubt you WILL reach your goal weight. You're very motivated and 'up', if that makes any sense. You've got the drive & willpower to succeed(I even nominated you for 'motivational member').

Have a GREAT day tomorrow. It's Thanksgiving Day for us and Amber & I plan on getting to the park for some 'mother-daughter' playtime.

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AHTRAP 11/21/2012 7:37PM

    Glad you're feeling a bit more yourself!

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REFFIE1 11/21/2012 4:39PM

    Glad you are feeling perky perhaps energized by the sight of a handsome, charming, doctor - hee, hee. emoticon

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