WINGSOFCHANGE   20,430
SparkPoints
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
 
 
WINGSOFCHANGE's Recent Blog Entries

Judgemental friends that are former-chunkers!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Maybe I'm too sensitive, but what is it with friends that were once chunkers, but are now thin and judgemental? I've seen this over and over again, and quite frankly - I just don't get it! My mother used to say "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". I had that drilled into my head since I was a little girl, but apparently some women never heard that saying before! I'm NOT talking about ALL women, just the ones that are judgemental, and since losing weight, feel that they are the authority on weight loss.

One of these 'friends' has recently gotten on my last nerve. She invited us over for dinner during the holidays while her sister and BIL were here from out of state. Her sister and I hit it off from the day we met, 2 years ago. The friend lost 34 lbs with WW, and her sister lost 120 lbs after having gastric bypass surgery. Yet the friend is always making judgemental comments to her sister about food choices. It's funny, but I've NEVER heard the sister ASK for advice or scolding comments!

Her sister noticed my weight loss right away, and was very positive in her comments to me. However, the friend was NOT! She told me that I looked like I was losing my BELLY. I replied "I never HAD a belly". She then came over to me, took hold of my right arm, and turned me around - to see my backside! She actually said that 'she wanted to see if my butt got any smaller'. Hey witch, did you REALLY just do that to me in front of your guests??? Yes she did! When it was time for dinner, she served the food onto our plates. It was penne pasta with a meat sauce. She gave all of the men full plates, she gave herself about 1/2 of what she served them. But as for me and her sister, we got about 1 cup of dinner. I could have fit it into a tea cup! I don't have a stomach that was surgically altered to the size of a golf ball! Thank God we were able to help ourselves to the salad, otherwise I may have started gnawing on my husband's arm!

As we had dinner she started questioning me on what type of exercise I was doing, at the table, in front of everyone. Before I could EVEN answer, she scolded 'you know, you can't JUST ride your bike, and continue to lose weight'. My reply was "well isn't that what YOU did with some walking thrown in'? She continued on with 'you need to do more'. I said 'you don't know what I do. I don't ride my bike around the block like some 90 year old, I MOVE! I also ride up to 50+ miles a week. And I do have variety and weight train, and what I'm doing is WORKING for me!" She joined a gym because she started to gain back some weight, but did I try to put her on the spot in front of people? Never happen! When we came home my DH told me that he doesn't care to be in her company. I replied "that makes 2 of us". I told him that if he EVER sees me being a judgemental witch, thump me on the side of my head. He said that it wouldn't happen, because it's NOT who I am.

On New Year's Day we had a casual soup and salad dinner at our house, and the food was set up on the counter for people to help themselves. I had to stop at the friend's house the day before, and when I was leaving, she scolded me in front of her sister. Complete with the finger wagging in my face (no kidding), she said "don't make too much food"! She then turned to her sister and said "she ALWAYS over cooks and makes too much food". I replied "I'm having 15 people for dinner, what do you want me to feed them, a carrot stick"? And I must say, my tone WAS pissy!!! Her sister sided with me and said 'so what'.

To be honest, I was ticked off at myself that I didn't tell her that if she wags that finger in my face one more time, I'm going to break it in two! So needless to say, By New Year's Day, I was ready for her. Sure enough, she started right after arriving, in front of a house full of people. In a sarcastic tone she asked me "do you think you've made ENOUGH soup"? Yes, I did, I told her. Then she started on the size of the salad I was serving. She asked "do you think it's big ENOUGH'? I stopped what I was doing, stared her down, and said "who made YOU the food police"? Her sister gave me a huge smile. I later heard her telling her sister 'don't you think that you've had enough veggies and dip'? Her sister came into the kitchen and told me 'if she makes 1 more comment about what I'm eating, I'm going to belt her'!

I was finishing the salad when the friend and her sister came back into the kitchen. As I sprinkled toasted walnuts and dried cranberries over the spinach salad, she said in a bitchy tone 'huh, you're putting MORE stuff in that salad'? I thought about drop kicking her now skinny @ss into the pool, but instead replied 'NOT ANOTHER WORD" in a firm voice. Followed by "when I come to your house I don't tell you what to do, who made you the authority? Well, this is MY house, so keep your opinions to yourself, because I don't want to hear them"! That shut her up! Her husband kept coming back into the kitchen after I put dessert out. She kept making comments to him about eating too much, so he would sneak cookies and toffee when she wasn't looking. For crying out loud, enough is enough!

If her judgemental behavior continues, this relationship may wind up the same way my so-called friend's did - on the chopping block! Her sister and husband may tolerate it, but I don't have to. The person I was 5 months ago may have tolerated bad behavior by quietly stewing, but not now! If I ask for advice - give it, otherwise keep your comments and opinions to yourself. If you can't get onboard with me as a supportive friend, then get off of my back, and let me continue this journey without negative comments and verbal put-downs, disguised as opinions! Be warned judgemental, former- chunkers, I'm finding my voice, and I'm prepared to use it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSETTE29 1/15/2010 3:57PM

    Wow--I had to laugh at your post, not at you but at your "friend." Is her face bright green? I think she is eaten up (pun intended) with envy. You and her sister handled things really well--WW, healthy choices, exercise...life style changes that did you a world of good. Um..she had surgery. I know that in some cases there is no other choice, and I don't know her circumstances, but the fact is that you and her sister did it "yourselves." She is trying to make herself feel better by making you feel badly. Well, that's my guess, anyway. Too bad she doesn't use SparkPeople to feel better--it's a much kinder, gentler, more positive way to improve how you feel about yourself and it only helps others, never puts them down.

So...may I play Auntie for a few sentences here? Don't give her that power over you. She can not take away one iota of positivity unless you let her. MTNHIKER1971 advised you to laugh, and that is excellent advice. You have already figured out that there is not one thing that you can say that will change her attitude or her judgement of you, so don't fall into that trap. I love to read advice columns, and have read the power of 1. Not answering at all, just smiling or ignoring...2. If asked an out-of-line question, ask in return "Why do you want to know?" 3. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I don't wish to discuss it."

I am pretty new to SparkPeople, but I have already learned that this is about self-empowerment and self-responsibility. You have it! You did it! You continue to prove every day that you are in control. Well, you can't control her, and don't let her control you. She's no friend, sweetie. Friends do NOT treat each other like that. Your husband has the right idea--you don't need her in your life. If you move in circles where you will run into her, remember to avoid the pitfall of her "conversation." Meanwhile, nurture the friendship with her sister. She sounds like a winner!

(Auntie gives you a little kiss on the cheek, finishes her tea, and returns to her Spark page pursuits...)

Report Inappropriate Comment
AZIZAYA 1/14/2010 12:38PM

    Good for you!! I am glad u are tired of being stepped on by negative people. Its hard enough trying to lose weight and maintain your lifestyle w/o negativity involved. As far as her putting her finger in your face...........I would have kicked her @ss for sure. I agree I would get the sisters phone number and hang with her she sounds pretty cool.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIRSTEN 1/14/2010 11:56AM

    What a beaatch!I Looks to me like that friendship is officially over. Good for you for standing up to her, someone needs to. Seriously, I would never socialized with her again, especially around food. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 1/13/2010 9:31PM

    Good for you! emoticon Personally I would have kicked her you know what. It was bad enough how she came down at you at her house but the nerve of her at your house. Eveeryone's responses were right on the money. emoticon emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 1/13/2010 4:29PM

    WOO HOO -- A$$ kickin' Doreen!! I am SO VERY PROUD OF YOU! I am so glad that you found your voice and stood up to the woman! You put her in her place. I just don't understamd people who try and boss you around in your own home.

GOOD FOR YOU! So proud to call you my friend!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTNHIKER1971 1/13/2010 12:17PM

    You know Doreen, I think this friend needs to be treated like the MIL. When the MIL tries to push your buttons it used to really bother you, but now, you laugh. If you happen to go to another event she hosts, try it, laugh, and see what happens. I would also recommend bringing a doggie bag filled with healthy snacks from your house before you go over...

Finger food is for biting... next time a finger is in your face, do just that, bite it

Proud of ya kiddo

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAMOUR0 1/13/2010 10:53AM

    Good job, Doreen, for speaking up. I have had to deal with stuff like that too. I believe that people are responsible for themselves and the choices they make not what other people seem to think they are rudely entitled to mention. Life is much too short to deal with such small minded people. I too, have let go of those negative type of friends. Life is tough enough, we need all the supportive friends we can get. Good luck with her and stick to your good looking guns. Go girl. I am behind you 100%.

Heather

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANDRAXIA 1/13/2010 1:14AM

    You are absolutely right! Don't let people treat you like that and don't let anyone have the nerve to tell you what to serve your guests. My nephews girlfriend is always talking about how she'd a vegan and she would never feed her kids the way my mother fed her children and you can tell by looking at my sister and I what a bad idea it was. Last year I belted her. This year she brought a friend over posing as my other nephew's girlfriend to begin a huge discussion over the whole thing. My mother was almost crying, I screamed at her that she could make her food whatever she wanted it to be in our house but we had no responsibility to cater to her vegan diet, because that's what she wants. She wants my mother to serve Christmas dinner vegan. An Irish/French woman who raised seven kids, for God's sake! Ehh...didn't mean to rant but just saying I know where you're coming from...

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASTUS55 1/12/2010 9:01PM

    HOLY COW!!! LOOK AT YOU GO!!! That did my heart good that you didn't let the food monger run over the top of you!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!! Great come backs....shut the mouthy broad up. Should have shoved a handful of walnuts and cranberrys in her trap and sealed her lips shut with super glue LOLOLOL! YOU DID GREAT I am so proud of you!! You were perfectly right in defending what YOU serve in YOUR OWN HOME! Apparently no one taught that wench manners. Gosh I would have shoved my foot up her @ss so far it would take a 12 hour surgery to have it removed!! You ever have any more trouble with her send to her over to me sister! LOL! This old farm girl with become a human wrecking ball on that broad!
GOOD JOB! She doesn't straighten up like you said....OUST THE OLD HAG!
Ruth
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/12/2010 9:01:21 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
TNLONGHORN 1/12/2010 8:18PM

    I think you handled her beautifully.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/12/2010 6:23PM

    I think I may have misunderstood the one that was dishing out the advice. (Regardless, I have seen people who have had WLS think they're authorities on weight loss) Point is, NO ONE should be poking their nose in others weight loss journies unless ASKED! I have seen this happen many times where people lose weight and suddenly become judgmental. (You've seen my blogs! LOL) You know I'm big on empathy and those who don't practice it can shove it! Pfft!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTMISHY 1/12/2010 6:12PM

    Hmmm, sounds like you need to cut some "dead" weight! Letting her go will drop you a few pounds won't it! LOL But before you do, get the sisters contact info, she sounds like a keeper!



Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/12/2010 5:35PM

    Oh child, that made my BLOOD BOIL!!!! I can't say what I want to here because people would think I was evil (like you already know I am) but needless to say I would've given her a verbal b*tch slap that would've rung her into next week! I'm sorry (people who have had WLS, turn away) but NO ONE who has had to resort to surgical means to lose weight need to be doling out weight loss advice. They CHOSE to rearrange their anatomy. It is a completely different ball of wax journey wise and to attempt to compare them is assinine. (Emphasis on @SS!!) Good for you for putting her in her place and it sounds like you'd be losing little to nothing by pulling that weed from your garden! Friggin' douchebag idiota!!
(Are we seriously so ponies and rainbows here that we can't have an "angry" emoticon??)

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWMAMA3 1/12/2010 4:24PM

    YOU GO GIRL! You put your foot down right in her skinny behind! Ya damn right, nobody should have to put up with that from INVITED GUESTS! How about next year send her and your MIL to a deserted island together until the holidays are over! Or, sprinkle some Ex-lax in her herb tea and keep her in the bathroom with Dewey!

Lord, some people!
I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself on those bicycle-toned legs of yours!
3 snaps and a round of "bit@h, please" straight to you from Phillyland!




Report Inappropriate Comment
MMICKEYP 1/12/2010 3:15PM

    Amen sister! Gee..you seem to be constantly surrounded by people who like to criticize you. What's up with that? You may have to love some of them from a distance if they're not going to be supportive. Jealousy can be a double edged sword. You are a beautiful woman and perhaps they are bothered that when you lose weight you'll look better than they do....or maybe they..although..skinny now..are just not happy. Losing physical weight is great and it makes you look and feel good...but the real weight is internal..and that's what I see you shedding as well. You're not a little self conscious and/or operating from an old mindset.."everybody's looking at me..to judge me"..are you? Something to ponder.

If people come in to attack...there's a reason for it. If you open yourself up for attacks.. there's a reason for it. I'm glad you're finding your voice. Stand strong and love some of them from a distance! If they act like that now..what are they going to act like when you do lose all the weight? I have the feeling it'll be the same...lol.

You're doing a fabulous job! Don't let em' get to you..don't let em' bring you down. If you're around them...for every one negative thing they say or do..you do or say 3 positives...they hate that..lol They'll leave you alone if they know they're not getting to you like they used to. Spark on, friend! You're beautiful, strong and so worth it! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANITAWPG 1/12/2010 3:01PM

    She was not being supportive. Maybe she is jealous though.

She may have lost weight, but isn't she the one who had to go the surgery route to do so?

You are doing this without the surgery
she may not know how to

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAKINGCAREOFKIM 1/12/2010 2:24PM

    Yep, that's not the same Doreen I saw on here when she first started--HOOORRRAYYY!!! You're doing awesome, so just dump the "friends" that can't handle it and make some new ones who support you! Go girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Butch up and just DO IT! (w/pics)

Monday, January 11, 2010

The weather here in Florida has been unusually COLD! I watched the news the other night and I could hardly believe my ears. They said that the temperature could get into the 20's this past weekend, and get this - a chance of snow!

I usually ride my bike early in the morning, but since it was rather chilly, I waited ALL day for it to warm up a bit - but it never happened! By around 5 o'clock, I had enough, as I gave myself a kick in the butt. I thought to myself, butch up and just DO IT! Since I'm originally a Jersey girl, you would think that the cold weather was no big deal. WRONG! I've lived in Florida for the last 20 years, and quite frankly, became a cold wuss! I bundled up by layering my clothes. I had on a cotton shirt followed by a sweat shirt, and then a fleecy jacket on top. I put on a pair of hubby's long thermal socks, and tucked them up under my sweat pants. I then put on gloves and headed out.

At first I thought 'okay, it's cold, but not TOO bad'. Yeah, right! Once I started really moving, the wind on my face was COLD! It didn't take long before my eyes started to tear and my nose started to run like a faucet. My face felt frozen, and my nose and ears felt like ice cubes. I wondered how could my ears be SO cold, and yet burning at the same time? I actually thought of taking the tissue from my pocket, tearing it in half, and stuffing each piece up a nostril. When I got a visual of that in my mind, I started laughing. I could just imagine people passing me and doing a double take, as the pieces of tissue hung out of my nose. I decided to deal with the nose drip and forgo the tissue idea.

Around this time I was trying to psych myself up into doing at least 30 frozen minutes. As I thought of what an idiot I was....I passed an EVEN bigger idiot, jogging. He was wearing teeny-tiny black SHORTS and a white t-shirt! I had to bite my tongue as I passed him, because I really wanted to ask him if he was dropped on his head as a child. Followed by, 'go home and put some darn clothes on, I'm freezing my butt off just LOOKING at you'! However, I kept my big mouth shut. What really made this experience 'special' (yes sarcasm) was the fact that some crazy people had their irrigation systems ON, and the mist was being blown across the road by the wind. And since the irrigation runs off of an irrigation well, it smelled like sulfur. So to add to my 'joy', I'm now covered in a mist that smelled like hard boiled eggs! UGH!!

As I decided to head home, I rode past the park down the street from our house, and it looked like a picture. I got inspired and rode home to get the camera. I went back to the park to watch the sun set across the lake. I parked my bike, walked toward the lake, and took some pictures of the sky and the reflection on the surface of the lake. It was beautiful! I forgot how cold I was, as my face was now SO numb that I couldn't even feel it anymore. And luckily, I could no longer smell the stench of the egg-scented mist that covered me, as my nose was running. I jumped back on my bike, passed our street, and rode for another 15 'blissful' minutes. I came home feeling energized and pleased with myself that I pushed past my discomfort - and just did it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NGCHILD 1/13/2010 4:34PM

    LOL -- I have a very similar bike but mine is red. I want a bell on mine tho ... wish you would have had that one and honked the runner into the ditch!

emoticon

Oops ... sorry mr. jogger man. LOL.

You are so funny!! Next time wear warmer clothes!!!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAMOUR0 1/12/2010 10:30AM

    Way to go, Doreen. Perservance will usually pay off. The photos speak for the positive aspect of your brrrrrrr.....experience. Living in Winnipeg, I know what cold can feel like, so my work outs are kept indoors, or I would never do them. Good for you for being BOLD enough to go home and get the camera. That alone was motivating. Keep up the great work, love it!

Heather

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTNHIKER1971 1/11/2010 11:01PM

    First, you're such a girl... lol

Second, you should have taken advantage of the moment and taken along some bananas so they could freeze while you were out riding your back. When you returned, you would have had plenty of frozen bananas to make Yvonne's super dooper delicious soft serve ice, errr, bananas that's like soft serve ice creams. so yummy... :o)

Just kidding, I can't imagine bike riding when it's in the 20's. Frosty would freeze his tail off. lol

Time to get hubby to invest in a treadmill or eliptical and enjoy sweating in the comfort of your own home, or build an igloo



Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 1/11/2010 10:09PM

    emoticon What a picture you painted! I would have paid good money to see you in your get up. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWMAMA3 1/11/2010 4:24PM

    What a trooper! Great pix! I'm proud of you, my little polar bear!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANITAWPG 1/11/2010 3:43PM

    you would really not have enjoyed the weather here a few days ago - minus 40 with windchill - I do know there is a difference, I HAVE the extreme cold weather clothing - and i still hate the cold.

Who would have thought it would get that cold where you are

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAKINGCAREOFKIM 1/11/2010 2:08PM

    Thanks for giving my visual imagination a work out this morning! The pics are gorgeous--no wonder you stuck it out and went back to get the camera! This cold is something else--I was thrilled to see no negative numbers when I woke up this morning and my pup got a longer walk because of it1

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARISSA81 1/11/2010 1:54PM

    Lol - I live in Chicago my whole life and have learned to workout indoors! You'd think I'd be able to tough it out, but no!

My advice - use some of those sparkpeople cardio videos and stay warm!

And yeah, what is up with people jogging in shorts in the middle of winter?! There are better ways, people!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSEYGIRL1950 1/11/2010 1:51PM

    You go girl..I'm so proud of you and we are not wuss'es(is that a word) we have very very very thin blood living down here. LOL
I could pee in my pants too but too cold everytime I use the bathroom in work to pee it take 10 minutes for the woo woo to defrost so I can go. No worry pretty soon we'll be soaking up those rays again. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/11/2010 1:51:53 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIT_ARTIST 1/11/2010 1:28PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASTUS55 1/11/2010 1:15PM

    LOLOL I LOVE IT!!! It is a good thing we don't live to close to each other because we could really wake up the neighborhood having a fun! This blog almost had me going as good as the one where you slipped off the toilet! I love ya Doreen!! Glad you pushed by the discomfort and did your thing. I am looking to do the same thing tonight when I get home from work. Going to try some light exercising to see what my back thinks about it all. I will use my head...and hopefully I didn't lose any gray matter when they pulled my tooth LOLOL! Take care you silly girlfriend you!
Ruth

Report Inappropriate Comment
MMICKEYP 1/11/2010 1:09PM

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..
I peed my pants reading your blog!!! Clean up, aisle 3!!! OMG!!! Love it...just love it! I just put my mom and brother on a plane to go to sunny Florida for a Disney cruise..lol...fun in the sun! At least you weren't wearing YOUR tiny black shorts. Keep sparkin'...funny lady!!! :) emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


I'm freezing my cajungas off!

Saturday, January 09, 2010

I was on the phone with my friend this morning, who happens to live nearby, when she said that she saw snow flurries. As we were talking, the AC/heating compressor on the outside of the house started making clanking sounds. Oh no, that CAN'T be good! As I walked over to the window to see what the heck was going on, the noise got louder. My friend could actually hear the noise over the phone. As I looked outside I could see that the unit was covered with ICE! I got off of the phone, shut the system down, and called the AC/heating company.

Since it's supposed to be in the 20's tonight - this could be a problem. For those of you that don't know me, I live in Florida!!! The service guy called me back, and I MUST say, was a VERY nice man! I described what I saw and heard, and he told me that he could tell me what to do, and I could save a service call. How GREAT is that? Since DH was working, it's on me. The service guy explained that the rain and the temperature were SO cold, that the unit is freezing up. He told me that I would have to de-ice the compressor. Okay I thought, I can do this. Now, HOW exactly do I do this??? He said that I would have to hose the whole thing down until ALL of the ice was gone and then turn the system back on. Ah, pardon me, did you say hose it down, with water?? YEP! In freezing rain?? YEP! But wait, if the rain is freezing on it, won't the water from the hose do the same thing?? NOPE! Okay, sign me up for this joyful experience!

I bundled up and headed outside, with thoughts of saving money swirling in my head. This will be a piece of cake! Yeah right!! Here's a tip-off, when you think that something is going to be easy, it will be anything but! The freezing rain is - FREEZING! The hose near the unit was not connected for some reason, and the hose itself was so cold that it wouldn't bend at ALL as I tried to hook it back up. The rain was dripping off of the roof as I'm trying to do this, hitting me on the head and back of my neck, adding to the 'pleasure' of this experience! After 4 attempts, I moved on to plan 'B'- get the hose from around back. Armed with the hose, I get to work. As I hosed it off, I could see chunks of ice breaking off from the fan and the top of the unit. I'm freezing my cajungas off and could REALLY use a parka right about now! 15 minutes later, I'm soggy, freakin' cold, but DONE!!! I came back in and turned that baby back on and YAY, it's working. Oh happy day!!!

I'm off to take a REALLY hot shower, followed by warm sweat clothes, thermal socks, and enjoy the nice, toasty heat! I'm thinking that comfort food is in order for dinner tonight. Hubby's going to stop at Sam's Club and pick up 'The Spark' for me on his way home. He's pleased that we have heat and that I saved us the cost of a service call, and jokingly said that if it happens again, at least I know what to do. Ah, guess again sweet cheeks, I'll share the 'joy' with you! Curling up with a nice, hot bowl of chicken chili and a good book sounds pretty darn good to me! Adding my DH, a warm blankie, and at least one kitty to the mix, and it sounds like a warm and cozy night - as long as the compressor doesn't need to be de-iced again. If it does happen again, it's his turn to freeze his cajungas off - mine are just starting to thaw! Stay warm everyone and enjoy your weekend.
emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELNISTA 1/11/2010 10:14PM

    I love your blogs. They usually make me laugh and this one was no exception. I can't believe how cold it is down there. It is only a little colder up here in NJ. My heart goes out to you because I am quite sure your blood has thinned out living in the warm climate for so long. I hope the weather warns up for you real quick. They say it is supposed to hit 40 here in NJ on Wednesday.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWMAMA3 1/10/2010 9:19PM

    Ouchee. But it really makes you appreciate your heat and enjoy the trappings of the after trauma cozies! Glad you were able to fix it and save some dough.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 1/10/2010 8:19PM

    I have been thinking about you all weekend and how you were surviving the cold. Glad to know that if I need service on our A/C I can call in a real professional!! LOL.

GO DOREEN!!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANITAWPG 1/9/2010 11:50PM

    I'm in Manitoba as well - it was minus 40 with the windchill this morning, supposedly though this wind is blowing in some warm weather and it is supposed to be a couple of degees above freezing on Tuesday & Wednesday.

You for sure lucked out with the repairman, congrats on getting the problem fixed and even bigger kudo's for getting out there and doing it

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTNHIKER1971 1/9/2010 10:15PM

    Good googa mooga Doreen... Is it Armageddon or what? Today in Chicago it was in the 90's... j/k seriously, that is very odd weather for Florida.

Drink some nice hot green tea with honey and lemon and stay bundled up. Don't want you to catch a cold

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAMOUR0 1/9/2010 9:18PM

    Hey Doreen, sounded like a fun time. Thank god for cozying up with all your favorite things to take off the chill. I can relate. Living in Manitoba with a cold spell sends more than chills up my spine. Today it was -36 celsius with the wind chills and I had to stop and put gas in my car at the Self Serve. Needless to say the gas tank wasn't co-operating either, so the tank didn't get filled all the way. DANG friggin cold.....I had another cup of tea when I got home. However, they are saying we are going to +1 celsius by Monday. My husband and I are highly doubtful but strange things have happened with the weather the past few years. A bit of warmer temps will be nicer than not and here's hoping you don't have to deal with freezing rain again. That is also a nightmare. I remember a few years back, when we had freezing rain in the winter, it coated our driveway which is on an incline. I kept looking outside and could swear my car was sliding down the driveway. Later that night, it was almost in the street. My husband didn't believe me until he had to go out and move it up again and put sand on the driveway. I never forget that. Strange things can happen, nothing is impossible. Good job, Doreen, for saving a few bucks and getting it done. Keep warm and thawed.....

Report Inappropriate Comment
STALCUP2 1/9/2010 8:33PM

    How wonderful that he told you how to fix it. On the freezing part,I feel for you! I live in Nebraska where the recent temperatures have been -13 although today was a high of five! My horses water tank froze last night I had to get that fixed and haul out 4 wheel barrows of snow. VERY COLD, I just wish I would have thought to have some hot chicken chili waiting for me.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIT_ARTIST 1/9/2010 4:47PM

    Good going girl! Enjoy the Chicken chili! You deserve it. But, one good thing.,.. at least you are not where I am. It's 30 below feezing here! Brrrr!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/9/2010 4:37PM

    Wow how lucky are you that you called the right guy to tell you how to do that yourself! I know it was a pain in the butt but that's worth the hassle to save the $100+ that surely would've been drained from your wallet! Enjoy your toastiness and chili!!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAKINGCAREOFKIM 1/9/2010 4:19PM

    Not many servicemen would actually take the time to tell you what to do and not take the call to make money themselves. Kudos to the AC/heating man!! Glad you got it done and are now warming up! Stay cozy!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLORYBOUND54 1/9/2010 4:17PM

  Living in New Port Richey...you must be near Ocala or Gainesville...maybe we'll lose some of our mosiquitos this year!!ha

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSEYGIRL1950 1/9/2010 3:57PM

    Yipeeeeeeeeeee for heat in florida..hot bath,sweats and socks are on..homemade chicken soup, Roxy curl up with me in front of the fireplace so happy I brought enough wood for the week..all the stores are out. emoticonI have everything but hubby who's on the road in Texas I almost have everything LOL. Great job hosing lady. Keep warm and toasty. Hugs

Report Inappropriate Comment


The POWER of Spark!

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Back in August when I joined, I had NO idea just how important Spark would become to me, and the difference it would make in my life. When I came here my motivation and self esteem were at an all time low, yet I still had some hope - because I joined. I recently looked at old pictures from Christmas a few years ago, and I hardly recognized myself. Yes, I saw an overweight woman, but what really struck me was my face. Even if I was smiling in the photos, it wasn't real. I saw a sad and lifeless woman that looked and felt beaten down.

This morning, while on the phone with my friend Helen (there's a pic of us posted on my blog ( 'Enjoying the holidays..') when the word POWER came up. On Christmas Eve Helen commented to my MIL about how well I was doing losing weight. My MIL said...nothing! However, the next time she called she brought it up as soon as I answered the phone. She said "have you lost a lot of weight"? I replied 'yes, I guess I have'. The next words out of her mouth were "well, it's really hard to tell"! I laughed at her, which left her speechless, because this is a road that I refuse to go down ever again. This morning Helen said "that woman has done everything in her POWER for the 20 plus years that I've known you, to put you down".

Today I wonder how I ALLOWED myself to be mistreated for 26 years. There are many ways to inflict pain onto someone, without raising a hand. There is great power in words, whether kind or cruel. She started her verbal and emotional assault soon after my DH and I started dating. She mistreated my husband, his sister, and her late husband too, but for some reason her main target has been me. It was a gradual thing that happened over time. Despite the fact that both my DH and I stood up to her, it made no difference. Over time I felt chipped away at, and a shell of my former self, as I was CONSTANTLY put down. Even when my husband told me that I looked nice, to be honest, I stopped believing him. I thought that's what husbands do. I couldn't even make eye contact with myself in the mirror!

Well, that was then and this is now! As I looked at the Christmas pics that I posted a few blogs back, I saw a different woman. This woman looked HAPPY! Yes, there is 39 lbs less of her, but I see a light from within that wasn't there before August. I know that joining Spark has been one of the best things that I've done for myself in years! As I met other people and started to form friendships, I felt as if I was thrown a life line. Some of the friendships are deeper than others, but they're ALL good! I started to feel that I had company (besides my hubby) on this journey. As I started to lose weight, I also started to release the emotional 'baggage' that I carried. With each passing day, I started to feel a lightness of my spirit and a strength that was dormant for far too long!

I think that there is great POWER in friendship! Whether it's a gentle kick in the butt, or a pat on the back - I welcome it all. With your support, you have helped me see myself in a different light, as I released crap that I held on to for far too long. As I write this I'm trying not to cry, as I feel that I was blessed to have met all of you. Yes, I'm the one doing the work, but with all of you by my side, the journey is so much more enjoyable. I look forward to 'seeing' my Spark friends and chatting with them. I really care about them, and when someone is gone for awhile or not feeling well, I get concerned. And when they have success on the scale and post a loss, I'm SO happy for them. There are days that I have to pry myself away from the computer. These are real feelings of friendship!

The definition of the word POWER is:

Strength
The ability to act or to do
Possession of control, authority, or influence over others
Force or energy used to do work

I pride myself on being an honest woman, and yes sometimes it's hard to face facts, but here goes. When I look back to August, I sounded and acted like a beaten down VICTIM! This realization REALLY pissed me off! If my foot could have reached, I would have kicked my own @ss! I buried my POWER under excess body weight and hurt feelings, and acted like a weak-willed woman. I am NOT a weak woman!!! NO one has control over me - but ME! I DO have the strength and ability to act, and I DO have the energy needed to do the work. I will NEVER again give away or bury my POWER, instead I will use it to move myself forward on my journey. The POWER of Spark is more than the unlimited information and nutrition and fitness trackers, it's the people! My Spark friends helped me have clarity, and I thank you. This is my life, and I'm taking back my POWER, and ready to kick some @ss, but this time it won't be my own!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEOWMAMA3 1/10/2010 9:07PM

    Great blog Doreen, I'm with you all the way on this one! The SP community experience lets us glimpse the common struggles we share, let it all out, put together solutions and share our strength. That strength, coming from all corners of the community helps us find our own! I'm so happy that you have experienced such deep and empowering change in your self-perception! You deserve it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAKINGCAREOFKIM 1/9/2010 2:19PM

    I have been so happy to witness your transformation here! I am so proud of all you have accomplished, you are rockin it!! Good for you. Well put blog! I love NATF'S quote from Glinda the Good witch!!! LOL!! Have a great weekend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MMICKEYP 1/8/2010 8:13PM

    Can't see to type....well, if you're not cryin' over there...I sure am. What a beautiful, heartfelt, ...sharing. All I can say is WOW. Just make sure that even when you are at your goal weight ...that you don't leave us sparklers behind and that you'll drop in from time to time to check on us...sniff,sniff. We need you. xoxox

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 1/8/2010 9:17AM

    I think Kelly said it all. I am so proud of you and I am so happy that you are now happy with the changes you have made. M ore power to you. You so deserve it Doreen! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTNHIKER1971 1/8/2010 4:01AM

    The power of Spark brought out the POWER IN YOU!!

Very liberating.

I'm proud of ya kiddo!

"Some people focus on what they're going through; champions focus on what they are going to."

and you're the champion. woo-hoo!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATHYGETSFIT 1/7/2010 4:08PM

    Great blog Doreen! I feel exactly the same way you do about Spark People! I love all of the encouragement I get from my Spark friends and I love to give it back to them as well! Like you said, "there are feelings of true friendship here." I'm so glad that you have discovered not only the Power of Spark People but the Power you have within you to not let that woman tear you down any longer! It's despicable what she has done to the people around her! Glad to have you as one of my Spark friends!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSEYGIRL1950 1/7/2010 3:15PM

    Oh sweetie you have grown so much and so fast..you were so ready for the change.I had a very emotional and abusive marriage and his mother was beyond mean..it's took years of therapy and work to heal some of my issues.. when I met a shaman he saw all the pain I carried and what he said stuck to me.."sometimes we have to experience all that we are not in all to experience all that we are". I also thank you for being there for me you Rock Girlfriend!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/7/2010 2:14PM

    As you said to me earlier, if I could crawl through the screen and give you a hug, I would. The things you have had to endure at the hands of that woman are deplorable, plain and simple. We unfortunately can relate on that level of being ground down on the self worth level by our in-laws but we now know we don't face those barbs or manipulation alone. You have certainly emerged as a strong, confident sassy patootie and I love it when you laugh in her face because nothing satisfies her more than thinking she's making you miserable. I'm not condoning allowing her to speak to you that way while you smile and laugh at her because words really are the most effective weapon to cut the deepest but hanging up, walking away or lighting a fart on fire are also effective in getting your point across! Which is...to quote Glinda the Good Witch..."you have no power here, be gone before someone drops a house on you too!"
emoticon

Love ya girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
APPLEPIEDREAMS 1/7/2010 1:57PM

    Thanks for the post! Glad to hear you're discovering the power of Spark!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Seduction - the lure of the lying poundcake!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Last night as I walked through the kitchen I heard an old familiar 'friend' calling my name softly. It said 'come on, just a bite, I promise that I won't make your @ss fat'. LIAR! It was the leftover rum pecan poundcake! However, I let it lure me, as I broke off a piece and popped it into my mouth - YUM. I then realized that this rum-soaked, butter laden, delicious concoction was trying to seduce me! An occasional treat is fine, but having this 'temptation' still hanging around is NOT!

On New Year's Day we had about 13 people for a casual dinner. After dessert, I put out paper plates, foil, containers of cookies, fudge, and the remaining poundcake. I told everyone to help themselves and take it ALL! They all went home happy with their goodie plates, and I got rid of all of the temptations, or so I thought. There were some cookies and fudge left, as well as the #1 seducer - the evil poundcake!

Since I don't want my @ss to be the size of the state of Florida, I knew what I had to do. Armed with foil, plastic freezer containers, and a trash bag, I got to work. I cleaned out the fridge and the pantry. Anything even remotely unhealthy was history. Since I don't like to waste food, I put the chocolate chip cookies, which are hubby's favorites, in a plastic container, and into the freezer they went. I then decided, that on Tuesday I would make up a tray with all of the remaining cookies and fudge, and send it off with hubby to work for his co-workers the following day. I kept all of the cut up veggies, so I have a drawer full of healthy snacks, ready to eat. And since I made the dip with strained yogurt and lite mayo, it also got a reprieve from being tossed out. However, the few pieces of poundcake didn't fare so well - it's history! Since Tuesday is trash day, the timing was perfect. I faced the 30-something degree frozen tropics and the poundcake bit the dust, as I took it out with the remaining trash. Good riddance!!!

Yesterday we went to the farm stand and stocked up on fresh produce for the week. As I opened the fridge this morning, I was greeted by the most beautiful Florida strawberries, rainbow swiss chard, honey crisp apples, cantaloupe, blueberries, and baby spinach staring back at me - none of which will add to the cushioning on my keister! In the struggle of me vs the poundcake, I won! I DO believe in 'everything in moderation', but I also know that certain foods can be triggers to overindulging. That tempting, lying poundcake no longer has any power over me, as it sits at the curb this morning, waiting to be carted away. As I see all of the colorful fruit and veggies, I feel secure with the choices I've made. As I'm about to make up the goodie tray for my hubby's co-workers, let those calorie-infused seducers call someone else's name - I'm NOT listening anymore!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEOWMAMA3 1/10/2010 9:14PM

    We're working on figurative language in class...this would be a great example of personification is I was up to explaining to my hormones in sneakers what "seduction" means!

Way to go girl! I can see this as a cartoon with you and the offending cake...the cake batting it's eyes, you dressed in your SparkAvenger cape, armed with a 10 foot pole...
lol!

Enjoy the produce....I just love a rainbow of fresh produce! Eat all you want! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MUDMOUSE 1/9/2010 2:56PM

    I keep trying not to listen to the yelling in my ears but it isn't easy!

Good that the vegetables yelled louder..

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANITAWPG 1/8/2010 7:27PM

    I am behind on reading & posting these days.

We also tossed some leftovers, they were just too tempting to keep around

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 1/6/2010 5:36AM

    emoticon for cleaning out the fridge and pantry of all of the Holiday Goodies. You made the right choice, out with the crap and in with the healthy fruits and veggies. It is one of the best rituals start off the New Year with. You are in this to win this@ emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAKINGCAREOFKIM 1/5/2010 10:24PM

    Great job Doreen! I wish we had some of those fresh fruits and veggies up here in the tundra!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATHYGETSFIT 1/5/2010 5:39PM

    Yeah, if only pound cake made you lose a pound instead of gain in pounds! Right?! Good for you for kicking those food sluts to the curb!! It sounds like you're giving yourself some of that fruit salad that you gave to me to start the new year!! Awesome job girlfriend!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTNHIKER1971 1/5/2010 3:24PM

    Love the metaphors. Let's see, you don't want an ass the size of Florida and Yvonne doesn't want to drink Lake Michigan. hmmmm I see a pattern here, lol

Great willpower kiddo, and I would have to consider this an AHA moment!

By the way, how do you effectively clean your produce. I'm afraid of getting ecoli from the lettuce and other contaminants. I heard that Green Peppers has the worst of them all on veggies and peaches is the worst for fruit.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MMICKEYP 1/5/2010 1:47PM

    That pound cake...trying to seduce you!!! How dare it! I like how you took control of the situation..it gives me inspiration to do the same ..when some foul seducer comes-a-callin' my name..lol. Great job!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 1/5/2010 1:44PM

    Lying poundcake ... isn't that the worst? Actually the worst for me is white cake with creamy cream cheese frosting. TALK ABOUT A HAG! Good for you for throwing it OUT!

So proud of you for stocking the fridge with healthy beautiful veggies and fruit! Your bottom thanks you for it too! LOL.

Hugs!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSEYGIRL1950 1/5/2010 1:26PM

    Can the last comment be put any better..now I will from this day forward call those goodies..SLUTS!!!! I definitely don't want that in my mouth...Yucky Poo Poo...Great job!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/5/2010 1:15PM

    You go girl! Kick those food sluts to the curb! They have no power over you, only whatcha give 'em and you ain't havin' it...WORD!! With that mentality you kick 2010 @SS baby!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Last Page