20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
WINGSOFCHANGE's Recent Blog Entries

'Diet' was a 4 letter word!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'll admit it, in the past I had a 'diet' mentality. I thought that my eating and exercise plan had to be perfect. I never allowed myself any treats, and I didn't stray from my rigid food plan. Because it was difficult for me to lose weight, I felt that I had to follow my plan perfectly. I was going to Wei*ht Wat*hers at the time, and eating in my points range, and tracking every morsel of food that I ate. I walked every day, sometimes twice a day. I joined a gym and worked out 6 days a week. I lost 2-3 pounds a MONTH! So I started spending more time at the gym, until it was 3 hours a day, 6 days a week. My weight loss did NOT increase, only my frustration did! I went every Tuesday to my meeting and to get weighed in, only to cry driving home out of frustration. I did this for a little over 2 1/2 years. During that time I hit 2 plateaus, of 24 and 28 weeks each, At one point it took me 28 weeks to lose 2/10 of ONE pound! Still my doctor did nothing! The trainer at the gym told me to measure myself, which turned out to be great advice. The scale was barely moving, but my body was changing. But this was making me NUTS! Losing this weight was becoming an obsession!

That was a few years back, and I since decided to make peace with my body and focus on my health. As for exercise, I wanted to do something that I enjoyed. Instead of using my treadmill, I started taking early morning walks outside. I also rode my bike, swam, did some yoga, and even belly dancing. All of which was fun! When I said the word 'diet', I thought of restrictions and deprivation. People say 'I'm ON a diet,' or 'I'm OFF my diet', or 'I can't have that on my diet'. I made a decision to lose my 'diet' mentality, stop being SO rigid, and lighten up my attitude as far as food as exercise. And to stop viewing the word 'diet' as a 4 letter word!

This past weekend we went to a fall festival about 2 1/2 hours away, and we had a really good time. In addition to the arts and crafts, there was the usual festival food. You know the type, you gain 2 pounds just by walking past the booth and SMELLING it! The smell of grilled hotdogs was calling me. I couldn't remember the last time I actually ate one. We ordered 2 plain hotdogs, and the FIRST bite was great. I realized that sometimes a certain food is part of the 'experience' of what I'm doing. I just wanted to TASTE it! I had 3 bites and gave the rest to my hubby, and I was satisfied. My DH did some research on the computer and found a restaurant called 'The Ivy House', and we wanted to try it later that day for dinner. The owner took a huge old house and made it into a restaurant. This woman would be the Paula Deen of Florida. It was set under moss covered oak trees, and had a large porch. I ordered baked chicken and when my meal arrived I made a mental note about the portions, and how much I could eat. We had an enjoyable meal in the most charming setting. My DH told me that they are known for their walnut pie, so we ordered it. I had 2 bites and stopped! It was delicious and worth every calorie, and I did NOT feel guilty. Years ago I would not have taken those 2 bites, because of my 'diet'!

I let go of my desire to be 'perfect' on my 'diet', and changed my attitude. I no longer had a 'diet' mentality. I've learned that I can have a taste, or 2-3 bites of something I want, without feeling guilty. I no longer feel that certain foods are off limits. I'm trying to find what works for me, and what I can LIVE with. Life doesn't stop while I'm trying to lose weight! I discovered that my old way of thinking was unrealistic and a road map for failure. I don't want to view the word 'diet' as something that I'm ON or OFF of, but instead as the WAY I eat for the rest of my life!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HICALGAL 10/30/2009 8:59PM

    right on!!...that's the way it should be! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IM4KINGDOM 10/29/2009 11:32PM

    emoticon on your new attitude. I really like that the Spark Diet focuses on consistency. That has really helped me too. Also, I read a diet book recently that said to have the "better than" philosophy. So, I was thinking about that when reading your blog. Your two bites of walnut pie (which sounds delicious!) was "better than" eating the whole pie. I think that is good thinking. Keep up the good work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 10/29/2009 11:29PM

    emoticon emoticon for being able to only take 2 bites and then push that food away. I am not able to do that, I know that for me, it is easier for me to take a single bite. I know that if I do I will eat the whole thing.

Kudos to you for finding an eating plan that will work for you for life.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEXSGIRL1 10/29/2009 6:17PM

    i loved this blog and your new no diet mentality. when i first came here to sparks in jan .i knew i had to lose a little weight and i needed to exercise for my heart. so i put myself under maintenance.i didn't diet just ate healthier and like you found things i liked to do that were fun for exercise. i have gotten rid of my irregular heart beats, lost inches and over 20 pounds.that would not have happened if i tried to diet. glad we are both doing so well.good luck on the rest of your journey i know you will succeed. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    That's the way, girl!! Good job!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 10/29/2009 3:35PM

    WOO HOO!! What a great blog. D-I-E-T .... why is it that some 4 letters words are the worst ones in the english language???


Report Inappropriate Comment
RASTUS55 10/29/2009 1:52PM

    AMEN Doreen!! After all the word diet begins with DIE LOLOL! TABOO! Life style change yes but to die for...I think not! LOL! Love this blog. It is so true that diet means restriction and "you can't have" and "you shouldn't eat"...all negatives. We are striving to rid ourselves of the negativity. One thing I can count on that is positive is you in my life!! Keep up the good work and writing the great blogs that really do inspire so many people!! Your a great person Doreen and getting better each day!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SIMPLY_SARA79 10/29/2009 1:25PM

    I don't know, I think diet is a 4 letter word. I don't consider myself on a diet. I think I am eating healthier and making better choices.
Your story about WW was interesting. I had tremendous success with them--when I stuck to the plan/ate right. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad things have been working out well.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 10/29/2009 1:24PM

    emoticon With an attitude like that you can't go wrong!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

When your friends are not happy for your success!

Friday, October 23, 2009

There are many lessons along this journey, some easier than others. I was having a pretty good day yesterday when my next lesson presented itself. I was on the phone with one of my 'girl friends', and I told her how things went with my new doctor. When I told her that some of my hair was growing back, she seemed happy for me. But when I told her about my weight loss, it was a different story. She knew that I've been losing some weight over the last few months, but has had NOTHING to say about it. But yesterday when I sounded so happy about my progress, she asked me how much I've lost. When I told her 19 pounds, I waited for her response. What I got was SILENCE! She didn't say ONE word, nothing! The silence became uncomfortable and I changed the subject, and got off of the phone a few minutes later.

I felt as if someone dumped a bucket of cold water on my head. I was stunned! She and I have shared a great deal over the years, and I thought that I could count on her support. Even though she moved away 7 years ago, we talk all of the time. She knows how I've struggled with my weight, just as I've known how unhappy she is with HER weight. My other 'girl friend' lives here and we are like extended family, spending holidays together and so on. I've told her about my weight loss and how I'm really trying. I waited for her to say 'that's great-good for you', but it never came! Not ONE single word of encouragement! Zip, zero, nada! These two women are my ' friends'.

Last night I discussed this with my husband, to get his take on it. He wasn't surprised, because he thinks that they don't want to see me change. I asked him 'shouldn't I be able to count on their support'? He told me that I expect people to treat me the way I treat them, so yes, I should be able to count on them. He also said that once I'm committed to something, that I have more determination than anyone else he has ever known. He told me that I can always count on him, every step of the way. I told him that I find it interesting how I can't count on 2 women that I've known for YEARS, but a group of people that were strangers just a few months back, have been there to offer support and encouragement. The people that I'm talking about are all of my Spark friends, and I thank you!

Beside the number on the scale, there have been many changes for me recently. I'm a very sensitive person and a deep thinker, so I'm always trying to figure out what's beneath the surface, and WHY! In the past, the lack of support from my friends would have hurt me. But strangely, that's NOT how I feel now. Yes, I'm disappointed, but I know that it's not about me. And I'm not going to take it personally. I think that my DH is right, they don't want me to change. I hope that they 'come around', but if they don't, that's okay. We have a history together, and I know that they DO care about me, as I care about them. Maybe my being overweight has made them feel better about themselves, but that's not my problem-it's theirs! I do wonder how things will be with them as I lose more weight, and really change. And for those times that I may need a pat on the back or a swift kick in the butt, I have my husband, who is my BEST friend, and my Spark friends, to lend a hand or a foot! My lesson in all of this had been, that I have everything I need within myself to achieve my goals. I'm doing this for ME, not for the approval of others! And I'm looking forward to all of the changes and lessons along this journey!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MTNHIKER1971 11/2/2009 4:10PM

    Although it's sad to find out that such longtime friends aren't what they appear, it's good to know NOW vs later of what their limitations are.

Surround yourself with those who love and support you, in all aspects of your life. You have much to celebrate!


Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWMAMA3 10/25/2009 12:16AM

    Hi Doreen,

Along with jealousy, whether conscious or not, sometimes our friends' own insecurities cripple them from sharing our successes. I have a friend who was always much bigger than me and she moved away, moved in with family, began a whole new active and healthy lifestyle with her family and lost a lot of weight. I was sincerely very happy for her, but still I was uncomfortable talking about it because I felt so guilty for not doing something for myself. I was jealous of her family support, not the weight loss, because I had recently lost my parents and have no family here in PA.

I say give her some time and maybe it will come out to be just a case of she couldn't handle it and was so overcome with competing emotions that she couldn't say anything.

Your fat friends here love you!
emoticon Kim

Comment edited on: 10/25/2009 12:17:13 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
HICALGAL 10/24/2009 7:31PM

    that's terrible about your friends but you've got us!! keep up the good work! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TNLONGHORN 10/24/2009 12:06PM

    I am so happy for you for the 19 pounds lost and for the progress you're making personally. Your blogs are often about what I would consider toxic people around you and your struggle with them. I am convinced that opening yourself up to this change will also open up room in your life for some really great people, great friends. The common thread of toxic friends I see in your blogs will be gone before you know it!

Have a great weekend Doreeen!


Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 10/24/2009 9:57AM

    19 pounds IS a major accomplishment because of all that you have been going through with your meds and you weight loss journey. You have grown and changed so much since joining Spark People, the butterfly is truly emerging from her cocoon. I really have always loved your Spark name.

Your DH is right, they do not want to see you change and they are jealous that you are doing something they can not do. We however are embracing in these fantastic changes. We are here to celebrate with you. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/24/2009 9:58:11 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEXSGIRL1 10/23/2009 9:27PM

    19 pounds is awesome. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJW400 10/23/2009 3:24PM

    Hey Doreen,

Wow, that's great that you lost 19 lbs. I'm happy for you. What your friend should had said after you told her that you lost 19 lbs is how did you do and can you assist me in helping me lose weight but she didn't. I have that type of friend too but it's on a different subject (unemployment) which we both are. Continue on that weight lose emoticon emoticon.


Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEISENUF 10/23/2009 2:48PM

    Great blog, thanks for sharing. I like what you said about your hubby being your best friend, so is mine.

Friends will always disappoint us, it is inevitable. However a good friend should love at all times. Because we are all imperfect, we blow it. I don't know your friend but is sounds like maybe a little jealousy going on there? Maybe she is insecure about herself?

Hopefully the two of you can talk it out and either way you can forgive her, you have got the right attitude. You are doing this for your health and to take care of your body. Best wishes on your journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 10/23/2009 2:43PM

    Many people learn this lesson and it's a totally crappy fact of life. Because if YOU lose weight and take charge of your health, that just reaffirms that they AREN'T. I've gone through this with friends and worse, with family. When I was asked to make my cheesy potatoes (which are FULL of fat and sodium but oh so good) for a reunion 10 years ago when we had lost about 70 lbs, I declined and said I'd like to bring something we could actually eat and I didn't want the temptation while I was cooking those to taste it. My mom said "what, you can't control yourself to not eat something you're making for other people??" I said "FINE MOM, I'll make the d*mn things!!!" and hung up on her. It was at a time I was unable to control myself so I did have a bite here and there and was so disappointed in myself I went on a binge when we got home. I said I would NEVER let other people's issues with their OWN lack of commitment effect me again and I told her don't ask me to make them again because it wasn't happening and gave her and my aunt the recipe. Of course now she's on board and couldn't be more supportive.

I hope you know that your friends are just jealous and this is making them confront their own issues and they don't like that. So turn to the people you know you can count on for support and hope that they eventually come around. I hope they do!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASTUS55 10/23/2009 2:32PM

    I am so proud of you although I know that her reaction hurt you deeply. I truly believe that so many people are so unhappy and dissatisfied with their own lives nowadays that they just can't find it in their stone cold hearts to be happy for someone else when they are taking the bull by the horns and bettering themselves. Like Jerseygirl1950 said....jealousy rears its ugly head. You have come so far these past few months I have known you and you are learning to surround yourself with positive people. You will always be confronted by the ones like these gals but you will know when to walk away. You have everything to be proud of so you hold your beautiful head up high and just smile. You have it over on em babe!!! Keep up the good work! Spread those wings and take another victory lap!!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSEYGIRL1950 10/23/2009 2:20PM

    Awwwwww sweetie, I have read over this past year...alot of sparkers have expressed the same thing. You did mention her weight also which if your losing and they aren't doing a lifestyle change jealously will rear it's ugly head. I have friends also who have done the same thing to me..I even have one of my daughters who I'm now thinner than her and instead of yipee for mom got a sarcastic remark be it. Growing older and gaining wisdom under my belt I learned some people rather see you down than up .It's wonderful you have a supportive husband. Most of all look at your growth it shocked you at first you wanted to share good news and for them to be happy for you, but then you let it go because it doesn't define you. You define you and isn't great for all the supoort that comes here on spark, where you know whether is an up day or a down you can always count on support. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISTLOADRUN 10/23/2009 2:09PM

    No matter what their response was, you are doing great things. Its never easy to see someone makes changes in their life, as change (for good or bad) can be scary and threatening - usually its an unconscious reaction, and the person being negative may not even be aware they are doing it.

Just remember you aren't alone thanks to SP, and that you and your husband are lucky to have such a strong relationship :)


Report Inappropriate Comment
MAICARI1 10/23/2009 2:00PM

    I definently felt that way sometimes with friend and when they do say it but are not sincere. I am happy for you emoticon . just take them off your mind and move on with your goals.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 10/23/2009 2:00PM

    Great blog Doreen! You are always so insightful. I think your husband is right. They don't want to see you change. They might be in the mindset that they feel and look better than you, etc. but now that is no longer the case. JEALOUSLY is an ugly monster and usually comes out when we need support and encouragement from those closest. I will be here to lend a hand and a foot if need be!! Just like I know you will be for me!


Report Inappropriate Comment
XAVTAY 10/23/2009 1:58PM

    Hey sorry to hear about your "girl friend". I don't want to pass judgement but let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was having a bad day or maybe she has been trying to lose but failing or maybe she is just plain ole jealous~ It hurts when those that we care the most about doesn't share in our success but remember not everyone is going to be happy for you. Take it with a grain of salt and continue to achieve your weightloss goals. Put you and your family first and when she realizes what she has lost by not talking with you all the time then maybe she will apologize. If she never does, just know that you are worth every change you are making and sometimes making changes with friends does happen as well.

Comment edited on: 10/23/2009 1:59:06 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELISELOVE1 10/23/2009 1:55PM

    emoticonon your loss

Report Inappropriate Comment

Goodbye dread!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

In the past, going to the doctor filled me with dread, like I was being dragged to the gallows! I didn't care for his attitude, the way he dismissed me, and especially not the way he under treated my thyroid condition. I would rather have EVERY hair on my entire body (even THERE), ripped out with hot wax, than go see him! That's why he's my previous doc. My new Endocrinologist has me on a schedule of lab work every 6-7 weeks, followed by an appointment with him every 8 weeks. After my first visit with him 2 months ago, I wasn't thrilled with the fact that he suggested that I severely restrict my calories from the 1200-1500 I was doing. I didn't agree with him and I did NOT do it! So the jury was still out on whether I liked him or not, but his calorie suggestion was definitely strike one! But I was going to give him a chance, since I gave the previous idiot over 3 years!

So when I had to see him this morning, I didn't know what to expect. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. I think that I found the right doctor, finally. He was happy to hear that some of my hair is growing back and that I lost weight. He still isn't happy with my thyroid levels. He increased my dosage again, and told me that I still have a way to go, as far as being in the range he wants. Okay, but it's going in the right direction. YAY! I joked around with him and actually made him laugh. So at least I know that he's human, not like the 'stone face' I used to go to! His face used to look like he ate WAY too much fiber, and hadn't had a major 'movement' in about a week or so!

I was honest with him, and told him that I did NOT lower my calories. I told him that I approached the last 8 weeks as if it were a controlled study. I did not change 1 thing. I ate the same amount of calories and exercised the same. I wanted to see what difference the right medication would make. He actually smiled, but it could have been because he thought I was a little bit nuts! I told him that I didn't increase my exercise until last week, after my lab work. He was looking at the computer when he asked me how much exercise I was doing. When I told him that I biked over 53 miles last week, his head snapped around and he said "what did you say"? I repeated myself and the look on his face was priceless. It was worth EVERY dollar of my co-pay, just to see his expression! It was somewhere between surprise and shock. That will teach him to underestimate me! HA! I finally feel like I have a partner in my health care and I like him. And I no longer feel dread! But the best part for me has been making myself a priority. And that feels GOOD!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEOWMAMA3 10/25/2009 12:21AM

    You are now empowered and he cannot control you with his red face and icy stethoscope... Way to go kiddo! I'm proud of you, we are definitely living parallel lives!
emoticon Kim

Report Inappropriate Comment
HICALGAL 10/23/2009 1:08AM

    glad you like your doc. partnership is the only way i play. some of them need reminding that they are working for us and can be fired in an instant.

great that you went with your own thoughts about lowering cals. from everything i've read...below 1200 is a no-no.

just because a person has an MD after their name, doesn't mean they know everything, especially when it comes to nutrition. i've heard many docs say that in medical school they only spend 1-2 hrs on nutrition. maybe now it's different but back then, nutrition played a small part in medical training.

overall, i'm glad you took control that's how it should be. afterall, it's our bodies and if they make a mistake, only one person is going to pay for it. besides, who knows it better than we do?

ps...Sunday Oct 25th is Mother-In Law's Day. just thought you'd want to know. emoticon my mother in law's far away at!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 10/22/2009 6:45PM

    I am so happy you feel so good about your new doctor.

emoticon on the 53 miles in one week. That is incredible! You go girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FILMSCORES1971 10/22/2009 5:05PM

    Sorry that you spent so much time with a doctor you didn't like. Glad you found a good one, who is more personable and not some drone.

Sounds like you had a Kodak moment with your doctor telling him about the bike rides. Totally awesome!

Keep it up and we are right there with you cheering you along.


Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 10/22/2009 3:09PM

    WOO HOO!! So glad you had a good visit! I love it when I can shock the doctor!! 53 miles -- holy cow!! YOU GO GIRL!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASTUS55 10/22/2009 3:03PM

    I love it girl!!! I would have paid your co pay myself to see the look on his face! You keep on keepin' on!! Glad you got old stone face to break into a smile...if you couldn't make him do it then no one could! Keep up the good work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 10/22/2009 3:03PM

    That is great you finally found a good doc to help you with this. Sorry but the whole calorie restriction thing was nutso. You should've had a camera for the pic of his face when you told him how far you biked. You KNOW docs have a pre-determined idea of what non-stick girls can do. Maybe next time he won't underestimate you or another girl in the "ideal" weight range. Pffft!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSEYGIRL1950 10/22/2009 2:43PM

    Are you seeing all those wonderful transformations taking place in your life???? Hmmm could it be the wings of change??? Hah!!! I crack myself up..your doing awesome and I know it will just get better and are worth it!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

One step in the right direction can change your life!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I think that sometimes things happen for a reason. A few months back, despite my efforts, my motivation was about as invisible as I felt! I felt that I was fighting a losing battle and was overwhelmed with frustration and hopelessness. But I didn't feel totally defeated, because I still kept trying. I may have gotten knocked down from time to time, but I've always pulled myself back up. I believe that ONE step in the right direction can change your life!

A few months ago, my one step came in the form of my hairstylist, Jamie. She knew about my hair loss because of my thyroid problem. We were talking about what women discuss-WEIGHT! That day she gave me a 'gift', she told me about SPARK! She was losing weight and looking great, and suggested that I check it out. That day as she did my hair, I had a hard time even looking in the mirror, because I was SO unhappy with what I saw. I saw a woman that looked tired and bloated, and who had lost so much hair that I could see her scalp in the reflection from about 5 feet away. That woman that lost her spark was me. Instead of feeling defeated, I came home and took the 'gift' she gave me, and RAN with it!

I got on the computer and checked out this site. I was so impressed with the information and the level of support, that I joined. After a short time, I started to get my motivation back, and I made some friends that offered support and encouragement. This gave me the push to take another step. I found a new doctor that is properly treating my thyroid condition. As I started feeling better, I stopped settling for inferior friendships, and realized that I deserved better! I've known since I was a teenager that I had inner strength. Even though it's been buried under years of hurt and extra weight, I've started to see that strength shining through again. I can feel a change!

Yesterday I saw Jamie again, and I felt such gratitude for what she has given me. She gave me the SPARK to take that ONE step. Eight weeks ago when I saw my new doctor, he told me that my hair might not grow back. About 2 weeks ago I told my DH that I saw baby hairs growing in. He looked and he saw them also, and gave me a big hug as I got choked up. So yesterday while she did my hair, I saw her looking at my scalp. I didn't say anything because I wanted to see if she noticed a difference. She looked at me and smiled, and said "you have a bunch of new little hairs coming in". Oh happy day!!!

Our life experiences, both good and bad, have led us to where we are right now. But ONE step in the right direction can make all the difference. I always say that I do the best I can with what I've got! That's all any of us can do on any given day. But yesterday as Jamie cut my hair, the face looking back at me in the mirror was different. The tired, bloated face was gone, and in it's place was a bright, happy face with a big smile! That ONE step has changed SO much! I hugged Jamie and left the salon feeling snazzy with my new 'do'! I realized that I felt like a different woman - one full of HOPE! I'm ready to spread my WINGS and fly!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAKINGCAREOFKIM 10/22/2009 11:48AM

    WooHoo Doreen! I remember vividly the first time I got acquainted with you and how sad I felt when I read some of your blogs. What a huge change. I am so proud of you! Way to take the bull by the horns and change your life. What an awesome thing about your new hair coming in!!!! Have a great day, my friend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 10/21/2009 9:11PM

    Now I understand why you chose your name, I am so happy that you found Spark People and that you have been sparkling ever since! emoticon emoticon You are doing great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASTUS55 10/21/2009 8:46PM

    This blog did my heart good because I watch you spread those wings and fly higher each time. The first time we became acquainted on here I could sense your unhappiness and your insecurity. But now the confidence that you have just radiates like the sun from you. You have come so far in the short time I have known you and I love what I see. I see a woman that can't be stopped by any type of negativity and that makes me so proud of you. You seem much more content and at peace with yourself....GOOD FOR YOU DOREEN! I can't think of a single soul who deserves it more then you!! I will be right here cheering you on through every inch of your journey! Lets do this together!! YEEHAW!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERSEYGIRL1950 10/21/2009 5:24PM

    You have a wonderful way of putting words together and this was another awesome I have been going through a lot of peaks and valleys you hit the nail on the head just one step..after many start overs I couldn't stay on track for one day. Monday was another start over and now I have 3 days going strong.Keep blogging girl you have a lot to offer and re-read your blogs then you'll see that inner strength shining thru...just like all your spark friends do emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 10/21/2009 4:08PM

    WONDERFUL blog! I am so proud of you and so happy for you and the path you've chosen! The hair growth is awesome!! How great that Jamie noticed on her own! Way to go!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCYMAE4365 10/21/2009 3:59PM

    I am so glad you found your Spark!! ((((((((HUGS))))))))))) and I think you look lovely in your pics emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

It's up to me!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Today is one of those perfect Florida days, the heat is gone and a cold front (thank God) is coming in. I rode my bike early this morning and it felt GREAT! Oh happy day, it was actually COOL outside. I could smell the fragrance of wet pine and I even saw a red fox running along the woods as I rode by. What a beautiful day! However a few days ago, I could only describe the weather in one word-STEAMY! I didn't let it stop me from riding my bike, but it wasn't pleasant. I felt as if I stuck my head in a hot oven as soon as I stepped outside. Very similar to a sauna.

The other day while riding my bike, I realized the only bad thing about drinking SO much water. What goes in - MUST come out! Well the second part of that equation hit me when I was a couple of miles from home. Even though my bike has shocks, my bladder does NOT, and every bump in the road was torture! I kept thinking about that stupid jingle from that bladder commercial - 'gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now'! I started to pedal faster and faster, and all I could think about was getting home. I actually got my bike up to 17-18 mph! What the heck was I thinking - that I was Lance Armstrong? I was breathing heavy and sweating like crazy. When I got home I kicked off my sneakers, trying to push our cat Dewey away. He was rubbing his furry body all over my sweaty legs, giving me kisses. What am I, a salt lick?

I ran through the house, making a mad dash for the master bathroom. I usually jump right in the shower, but this could NOT wait. My face was beet red and my hair was stuck to my head. NOT a pretty picture! To sum it up in one word - frightening, and it's not even Halloween yet! My clothes were stuck to my body, and I had to literally ROLL them off of me. In a hurry, I never stopped to think that my body, and certain parts in particular were also sweaty-UNTIL I almost slid OFF of the seat and hit the tile floor! YEP, can you picture it? I don't know if it was from riding SO fast, or almost sliding off the seat - but I pulled a muscle in my left cheek! And I'm NOT talking about my face! Later that night my hubby noticed that I was walking funny. I told him that I pulled a muscle in my keister. I had to laugh at myself! ALL I could think about was please heal soon, because I will NOT be going to the doctor and explaining that one!

Thankfully the steamy weather is gone and so is the pain in my @ss (NO, not my MIL) ! So this week I've dealt with 2 different types of pains in the butt, and I'm determined to heal from BOTH of them! I came home this morning and fixed myself a frittata with leftover roasted veggies, and I sat out back and enjoyed my breakfast as I watched the sun come out. Something interesting happened this morning when I woke up. I had a very vivid dream in which I clearly saw myself. And it was the first time in YEARS that I dreamt of myself THIN!! WOW, is this a sign of things to come? I think so! I've realized that it's up to me how I choose to see things in my life. Whether I laugh at myself over something silly, or appreciate all of the simple things in my day. It's up to me! I now have a clear vision of myself and the direction I'm going in. What a GREAT day, and I'm looking forward to many more just like it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAKINGCAREOFKIM 10/19/2009 10:21PM

    I am a very visual person--what a picture you painted! emoticon I've only been up over 17 mph when I was going down a big hill--what a woman!!! You are doing a great job and what fun to have some laughs along the way. Keep it up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASTUS55 10/19/2009 9:59PM

    OMG LOLOLOLOL! I needed this chuckle today. What an ordeal!! Funny funny blog, if you can't laugh at yourself then nobody can! I loved it! Glad your having some lighter moments after the witchie MIL worked you over. Time to shed that skin for good! I love ya girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWMAMA3 10/19/2009 9:45PM

    I needed that bellylaugh!
What a visual!

You really have a natural way with words. Your conclusion is right on!

Thanks, Doreen

P.S. Hope the booboo is all better... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 10/19/2009 9:28PM

    Oh Doreen you are so funny!! I wish we lived closer to each other ... we would be such great friends. In person I mean! LOL. You make me laugh and smile!

What a joy you are to me and I really value our friendship!!

Keep riding AND sweating!!


Report Inappropriate Comment
AHEALTHIERME9 10/18/2009 7:31PM

    Loved it, loved it, loved it!

THANK YOU for this... this was hilarious and a wonderful read!

By the way, how's your rump doing? emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCYMAE4365 10/17/2009 8:21PM

    This is a hilarious !!! I was having a hum drum day..... read this and laughed my @ss off. Thanks for the smiles and by the way Hope your keister feels better. NO PUN INTENDED. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HICALGAL 10/17/2009 6:38PM

    good grief girlfriend, you need to put a yield or caution sign on your blogs to remind the readers not to eat or drink when reading...i was LMAO. you take the cake on funny!!

oh...and on the dreaming skinny thing.....that's the only way i see myself when i'm dreaming. they say you dream what you subconsciously want. i guess we know what we really want!

have a wonderful weekend my friend! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELNISTA 10/17/2009 2:58PM

    emoticon I am sorry but that was a very funny story. I am quite sure it was not funny to you at the time but to us readers it was amusing. I bet you never thought you could peddle that fast.

Keep up this pace and I am quite sure the vision you saw in your dream will become a reality.

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TNLONGHORN 10/17/2009 2:29PM

    What a funny story! Your sense of humor is awesome. What a great way to see the world.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TATTED_PINUP2BE 10/17/2009 2:28PM

    What a great blog!! Thanks for sharing such a funny moment you had, even at the expense of your bum being swollen. Wish I could be down in Florida with that sunny weather, it sounds perfect. Keep up the great weekend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANITAWPG 10/17/2009 2:08PM

    We can do anything with the right motivation, and while not a pleasant motivation - just think how fast you actually can ride!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOTABOUTHEFACE 10/17/2009 1:54PM

    Thanks for the chuckle at your expense. I could clearly envision your booty slide to the floor. Nothing worse than a pulled cheek. I'd tell hubby "you laugh at it, you rub it!" I guess this shows one thing, you can ride like a triathlete when given the proper motivation! Okole maluna! (Bottoms up)

Report Inappropriate Comment
JANLEEW 10/17/2009 1:45PM

    LOL This is a great tale. Keep riding, keep laughing!

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Last Page