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You can't be neglected and BLOOM! The proper care of people and plants.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Last week I read Today's Healthy Reflections--'growing your inner garden'. It reminded me of something that I wrote about in my journal. One day I was sitting out back having my breakfast and enjoying a beautiful morning, when I noticed that one of my orchids was ready to bloom. I realized how much people are like plants. We thrive when we're cared for and shown love, and how we wither when we're neglected. Just like that orchid we need water, food, sunlight, and love. When we're given these things we thrive, and when we're not, we barely hang on and don't live up to our potential. We can't be neglected AND bloom! Some analogy!

When we're not given what we need, we don't grow. I thought about that orchid, and how I almost threw it out about 6 months ago. It had one pale, sickly looking leaf left, and was on it's last leg. But instead I moved it to a sunnier location, fed it, and made sure that it had enough water. I gave it a lot of attention and 6 months later it doesn't even look like the same plant. There are a bunch of dark green leaves, roots that are branching out of the pot, and buds that are ready to bloom!

I told my husband about my orchid analogy. I don't think that he held out much hope for that poor plant. He has called me the Dr. Kevorkian of plants from time to time! With some plants I have a green thumb, but others haven't been SO lucky, you get the idea! When we're at a garden center and I put a plant in the cart, he gives me a smile with a raised eyebrow. I know what he's thinking, that the poor plant only has about a 50 percent chance of survival. But HOW I took care of that orchid must have stuck with him, because he has brought home many orchids for me. That first orchid rewards me for my care by CONSTANTLY blooming!

I thought about how I've neglected myself, and how at times I FELT like that sickly looking plant. So I decided to put myself in a 'sunnier location' by doing everything I can to make myself feel better. To 'feed' myself good, healthy food and water, and most of all, ONLY positive thoughts that will nourish both my body and soul. And to protect myself from harsh elements and to pull out all of the negative 'weeds' in my life. To feel full of life and thrive, and branch out and live up to my potential. Above all else, to show MYSELF the love that I gave to that orchid. I WILL flourish, and in time with the proper care, I will BLOOM too!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEOWMAMA3 9/30/2009 10:38PM

    Doreen,
Your insight nourishes all of us and makes our world a sunnier place!
Thanks for a great inspirational blog!

Spark on sister!
Hugs, Kim emoticon emoticon

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TRAVELNISTA 9/30/2009 6:52PM

    Great analogy! I have watched your progression since you have joined Spark and boy have you bloomed. You kicked your Doctor to the curb and hopefully you have kicked your friends to the curb. I am sure that you will probably run into them at mutual Holiday parties but boy oh boy are they in for a surprise. They will see a new, stronger, and improved Doreen that will not be treated the way she was in the past. You keep blooming my friend! emoticon

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NGCHILD 9/30/2009 11:19AM

    Great blog Doreen!! You are already blooming! Spark does that to people. You are such a fabulous person and I am so glad that we stumbled upon one another! Orchids are delicate and temperamental. It's takes someone with alot of patience to grown them. You must have a green thumb for sure.


Happy Wednesday!!


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Comment edited on: 9/30/2009 11:20:17 AM

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TAKINGCAREOFKIM 9/29/2009 7:30PM

    I think you already are blooming, my friend! What a huge difference I see (read) in you from the first time I contacted you on SP. You indeed were that wilted, one leafed plant in the beginning but you continue to thrive into a brilliant flowering beauty. Keep it up!


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RASTUS55 9/29/2009 5:55PM

    Doreen....I think your "bloomin'' awesome! I am so glad you got rid of those nasty weeds. They are such an eyesore huh? I am glad I get a chance everyday to watch you grow in every way except on the scale....Good for you, another great blog from my favorite gal!
Ruth
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JERSEYGIRL1950 9/29/2009 5:49PM

    Girlfriend, Look at how you have bloomed yourself since coming to spark..i remember some of your first blogs..I'm standing up and applauding..and since I work at a plant nursery this is a perfect way for me to look at my weight loss journey..Bravo emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RAINDROP2000 9/29/2009 4:52PM

    What an AWESOME post....I absolutely LOVE your analogy and am going to remember it every time I prioritize what my plans are for the day. Thanks so very much!!! emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 9/29/2009 4:50PM

  Enjoyed your story, especially since I just need to look at a plant for it to shrivel up and die!

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Does snake hockey count as a cardio exercise?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Let me say that I REALLY hate snakes! I mean, I REALLY REALLY hate them!!! One of the joys of living in Florida, is that we share this warm climate with some less than desirable critters. So while on the phone this morning, I looked out back on the lanai (screened in pool and patio area), and was horrified to see a snake INSIDE! Our cats Dewey and Daisy were out there also. In a panic I told my friend and got off of the phone. I put my fear aside, and all I could think about was getting the cats away from the snake. Armed with a broom (no NOT the one that my MIL uses for transportation), I was ready. I headed outside to protect my kitties.

As I approached, I saw that it was a harmless black snake, but both cats were next to it. It grossed me out to even be that close to it. As I tried to use the broom to get the snake away from the cats, Daisy picked it up! I shuddered from head to toe, and let out the appropriate squeal of horror, as the coiled up snake hung out of her mouth!!! I would bet money that neighbors 1/2 mile away heard me. Yes, I will admit it, I did the whole girlie thing, yelling EWWW, waving my hands, and convulsing. I am sure that if someone saw me, they would have laughed SO hard, that they would have wet themselves.

I don't know if it was the broom or my squealing with horror, but it must have freaked Dewey out. He darted between my legs, tripping me. I took a not so graceful swan dive, and landed flat on my stomach. I looked to my left and thought it was a close call, because I missed the pool by about 1 1/2 feet. As I turned to my right, I wasn't SO lucky. Little did I know that my swan dive caused Daisy to drop the snake. You probably guessed it, I landed about 2 feet from my slithery new friend! I jumped to my feet like a spring, picked up the broom and decided that it's time to play some snake hockey! Even though I always joke that the only GOOD snake is a DEAD snake, I can't hurt them. I used the broom like a hockey stick and that snake was the puck. Every time I hit it away with the broom it would come back AT me! I intended to get it moving in the opposite direction, open the lanai door and get it OUT. After about 6 tries, it slithered out, unharmed. Both cats were okay, but I didn't fare so well. I scraped the skin on my right knee and elbow, as well as the palm of my right hand. That's okay because I faced one of my fears head on, and everyone's all right. From the surge of adrenaline I felt energized, like I just worked out. So I wondered, does snake hockey count as a form of cardio?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNAZZYPS 9/23/2009 9:23PM

    Oh my gosh that was hilarious!!! I'm glad you, the cats and yes, the snake are all ok.
That would have freaked me out too.

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MEOWMAMA3 9/23/2009 7:46PM

    That was hilarious! Is Daisy allowed to give mommy kittie kisses after having the snake in her mouth? Hope your booboos heal fast. I'd log it in as triple cardio.

I actually like snakes, but not in or near my house. In junior high school my best friend had a snake named Dog and a dog named Snake. It was a 4-5 foot long king snake. We'd go out to the mall with Dog wrapped around her waist under her jean jacket. The looks on the cashiers' faces at the register were priceless. I'm sure more than one probably wet themselves. We were mischievous tomboys...

Glad you lived to tell the tale!

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TRAVELNISTA 9/22/2009 10:16PM

    emoticon I am sorry I am not laughing at you but I am laughing at the picture you painted. I laughed so hard it hurt because with each laugh I felt it in my back, but it was worth it.

And yes it counts, you were in oxygen because you were screaming your lungs out, you were doing a new form of Zumba dancing around failing everything all around but the snake, then you broke into a hockey game. Yes it counted! emoticon

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HICALGAL 9/22/2009 10:05PM

    in this case...double the cardio...lol

and your MIL transportation???....you're soooo bad....LOL

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RASTUS55 9/22/2009 9:36PM

    Boy Doreen you sure know how to have fun! LOL! I am sorry but I sure would have loved to have been a mouse in the corner to see that one! I bet you made some pretty quick moves.Glad you survived it all.
Ruth
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TAKINGCAREOFKIM 9/22/2009 7:47PM

    I also am not a snake fan but what an inventive way to get your workout! I am a very visual person so your account had me laughing as I envisioned the whole thing!

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SKYWATCHERRS 9/22/2009 5:40PM

    I hate snakes too! Oh my gosh, I would have nightmares for a week!

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MRSMELVIN1 9/22/2009 5:38PM

    I would ssy so!!LOL

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How our CHOICES can change our lives!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I've been thinking a lot about the choices we make and how they affect our lives. My husband and I were recently talking about my sister, and how her choices impacted her life. She was first diagnosed with cancer at the age of 16. After surgery and radiation, she beat it. Then at the age of 22, she got it again. She beat it again, this time with the help of experimental chemotherapy, which damaged her heart. She was told that she HAD to walk a fine line, and take VERY good care of herself. Strict orders were given to her: NO smoking (which she did since the age of 12), NO alcohol, exercise, and a healthy diet--FOREVER! She did all of it and turned her life AND her health around. We were thrilled!

Fast forward to almost 8 years ago. She moved back to New Jersey, and started partying with old friends. She was smoking again, and drinking HEAVILY. Within 2 months, I got a call in the middle of the night that she passed away--1 WEEK short of her 38th birthday, of heart failure. She kept the fact that she was drinking again from me, because she KNEW what my reaction would be--NOT good! Since I was essentially her mother since she turned 12, she knew that I would be on a plane to NJ, and RING her neck! After she passed, I heard from people that she KNEW that something was going on with her heart, and just HOW much she was drinking and smoking. I have NO doubt that the good choices that she made in the past helped her live, and that the bad choices shortened her life.

Last night while on Spark, I came across the following quote on someone's page: CHOICE, NOT CHANCE DETERMINES ONE'S DESTINY! And it REALLY hit home for me. This morning I still had it rattling around in my head. I've realized that I have made a CHOICE over what I will or will NOT tolerate in my life! And I decided to make better choices, that will improve my life. I do realize that sometimes things happen in people's lives that are beyond their control. But I'm talking about what we CHOOSE! Every day we're faced with numerous choices, both big and small. HOW we choose determines what direction our lives will go in.

We all made a CHOICE to join Spark, to improve our health and lose weight. Every day we make a choice to follow our food plan, exercise, drink water, and make ourselves a priority. GOOD choices!! Every time we reach for a piece of fruit instead of some junky snack, we're helping ourselves move in the RIGHT direction. In the past we may have made more bad choices than good, which led us here to Spark. An occasional bad choice isn't going to derail us, but when we make them every day, they REALLY add up. Those bad choices eventually wind up on our hips, thighs, and butts!

We're not always going to be perfect in what we choose. But that's okay, it's called LIFE! If on a special occasion we want a glass of wine or that delicious dessert, have it and ENJOY it. But that's it, back on track with the NEXT meal. When things get difficult, we make a CHOICE to stick with it and NOT give up! Here at SP, we've all made a choice to support each other through the good times AND the challenging ones. But if we make MORE good choices than bad, we're making progress!

I decided that EVERY day I'm going to focus on my CHOICES. I will ask myself if what I'm choosing will help me reach my goals and improve my life, or send me in the wrong direction. Because ALL of these choices that we make daily add up to one thing--CHANGE!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MTNHIKER71 9/21/2009 9:32PM

    Sorry to learn about your loss, and the struggles endured. Lean on those who love and support you.

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THECOOLESTSARAH 9/18/2009 7:33PM

    Focusing on the positives - the "cans" and not the "can'ts" seems to make a big difference in how I feel. Instead of thinking about all the food I can't eat, I plan out a whole day's worth of food that I can, and then I just go to town! It's easier on me to know what I CAN have instead of telling myself NO all day!!

Great points, well said. :)

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TRAVELNISTA 9/17/2009 10:20PM

    What a great Blog about how our choices impact our life. How tragic it was for your Sister's life. I am sorry for your loss and I know you were devastated.

I am so happy I found Spark because my choices have done a 360. I have already seen first hand just how much my new choices have improved my quality of life.

Thanks for sharing this blog about making the right choices. Hopefully if there is anyone out there sitting on the fence about a certain choice they need to be making reads this Blog that it pushes them in the right direction.





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TAKINGCAREOFKIM 9/17/2009 10:01PM

    Good job Doreen! Keep making those excellent choices. I am so sorry about your losing your sister at such a young age--that is difficult but you are taking a lot of positive from her experience to change your life--yeah!

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LMCGEEN 9/17/2009 4:13PM

    emoticon

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MOMMAROLEMODEL 9/17/2009 3:22PM

    Wow-- very empowering blog and I am very sorry for your loss of your sister.

Love,
Timberlee

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HICALGAL 9/17/2009 3:17PM

    YES TO GOOD CHOICES!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PJW400 9/17/2009 2:46PM

    Hi Doreen,

Thanks for the blog. It brought tears to my eyes of what you and your sister went thru. I'm 38 years old which my birthday was this past June. Yes, we do have a choice. This is a wake up call. We are very fortunate to have this website to help each others and to learn and grow how to become healthy.

Thanks,

Pam

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TCHOZET 9/17/2009 1:55PM

    What a tribute you are to your sister! Keep making the choices that enhance your life!

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TANSHAN1 9/17/2009 12:57PM

    Also, it is each of ours Choice to be happy or not. Action or inaction, choices and taking responsibility for these things.

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RASTUS55 9/17/2009 12:57PM

    Good blog Doreen! Our choices do affect our lives intensely and in the case of your sister fatally...:-( That is another example of how we need to take command of our lives and choices and not life take control of us. Thank you for having the courage to share with others your experiences. It was a huge eye opener!! You keep up the great attitude Doreen...I know you will succeed!
Ruth

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AHEALTHIERME9 9/17/2009 12:54PM

    I applaud your positivity and insight.

I'm sorry for your loss. Perhaps in some way, your sister's journey has helped to make your resolve to lead a healthful life even stronger. I'm sure she's watching and helping you from heaven and feeling really proud of her sis.

Take care and be well! emoticon

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Dealing with the TOXIC VAMPIRE, and the choice I made today!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I'm basically a happy person. I'm the type that wakes up in a good mood. I was going about my morning, feeling good, and then it happened. The phone rings and it's the first call of the day from my mother-in-law. There are days that she calls FOUR times! As she starts to unload all of her negative crap onto me, I can feel my happy mood just slipping away. She NEVER has a kind word to say about anything or anyone. She is the MOST negative, toxic, hurtful woman that I've EVER met. I've told her that I can NOT listen to her complain anymore about everyone. She can suck the joy right out of your day. She is a TOXIC VAMPIRE!

She has some very nice friends from church and a male companion, all of whom SEE her for who she is. Her friends have told me that they put up with her because they think that it is the Christian thing to do. She bad-mouths all of these people, but doesn't stop there. She even talks about the pastor's wife, who is a BEAUTIFUL woman on the inside as well as the outside. She says "what a fat ass the pastor's wife has". My husband says that her going to church doesn't MAKE her a Christian anymore than him standing in the garage makes him a car! I think that you have to LIVE it and walk the walk, so to speak. When she says these terrible things, I DO call her on it, but nothing stops her.

Even though I've dealt with this crap for over 25 years, it STILL shocks me. You can set boundaries with 'normal' people, but NOT in this case. I can tell her flat out, in a polite way, that I can NOT listen to another minute, but it doesn't change her behavior. My husband has talked to her over the years about ALL of the phone calls and her negative ways, but it never helped. So if I take the first phone call, I try to limit the time and not let her push my buttons and engage me. And she knows just how to do it, by bad-mouthing my husband. She knows that I will protect him and stop her in her tracks, but she still tries. I get off the phone as quickly as I can, and will NOT answer the phone again. I'm done for the day. She may call numerous times on the house phone, then she starts calling my cell phone, which I won't answer either. She then moves on and starts calling my husband at work, on his cell to find out WHERE I am. He tells her that I've had ENOUGH for the day, and that my whereabouts is not her concern.

One of the reasons that we moved to Florida was to put some distance between us. Well you probably guessed it--she moved HERE!!! As I'm writing this my phone is ringing--guess who! I don't use the word 'toxic' lightly. This woman actually said to me "that my husband must have women hitting on him". I said probably, but it doesn't matter because I TRUST him. She said "he may not go LOOKING for it, but if it came to him, he would NOT say no". I told her that I couldn't believe that she would say such a thing about HER son to me! I said that he loves me, and that she didn't know him at all! What type of person says such a thing to their son's wife?

When she sees that we've lost a few pounds, she tells me 'how terrific' my husband looks. Guess what she tells me, "not to get rid of my FAT clothes"! I recently had my hair cut into an inverted bob, and anyone that has read my previous blogs knows about my issue with hair loss because of my thyroid problem. I left the salon feeling good about my snazzy new hair style, and then I saw her! She looked at me and said "do you like your hair"? I said that I loved it. She replied "well, it's different". The ENTIRE time she spoke to me she had a funny look on her face. The only way to describe her expression--like she was sucking on a lemon or smelled a fart! Sorry, but that sums it up. She has tried to tear me apart from head to toe. In the past I cut ALL contact with her, but always got sucked back in when there were health issues regarding her or her late husband. Despite the fact that SHE IS OBESE, she never misses a chance of saying hurtful comments about MY weight. This may sound sick , but this woman gets PLEASURE out of hurting people. You can actually SEE it in her face. Our close friends/extended family have witnessed her in action at our house on various holidays. They call her evil, and tell me that they think that she lives to hurt me.

Part of this journey for me is about digging deep and getting to the root of my problem. I know that I have issues because I lost my mom when I was a teenager. Then add this woman into the mix, with her constant put-downs. Yes, I have a thyroid problem, but that isn't the whole story. I've written before about exposing my feelings, because I think that it's the only way for me to heal and make the positive changes in my life. The other part of the equation, is that I've used food to try and comfort myself. There were times that I literally stuffed my feeling down. In the PAST, I would get off of the phone with her and feel like I was SUFFOCATING! I would stand at the kitchen sink sobbing, and stuffing food in my face!! This is really tough to write, because I keep crying. I don't lie to other people, and I certainly don't lie to myself. This is how I USED to deal with her crap! But it only made me feel worse.

So that was then, and this is now! After I hung up the phone this morning, I felt a shift from within me. I won't be a victim! I AM going to make positive changes in my life. Even though it rained a lot this morning, I decided to go for a bike ride. I usually find joy while I ride, but not today. I didn't really notice the sights and smells that I usually do. I felt like I was DRIVEN! I rode my usual 40 minute route, in 30 minutes, riding through puddles like a fiend. When I got home I checked the Cat's Eye gizmo on my bike. Not only did I do it in 10 minutes LESS time, but I rode at 14 MPH. As I rode, I knew that it would be messy, but I didn't care. I could feel the muddy water splashing up my back and hitting me in the back of the neck! ( I need to get fenders for my bike.) I caught a glimpse of myself as I turned on the shower, and the best way to describe it--I would frighten small children! I was dripping in sweat, my hair was stuck to my head, my sneakers and socks were all splashed with mud, and the back of my shirt was a MESS! I stood there and laughed at myself. But guess what, I felt good! My happy mood was back and I did NOT use food to comfort myself, instead I used my bike! It's about control over MY life and making CHOICES that are GOOD for me. The only behavior that I can change, is my own. I have the power!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEOWMAMA3 9/23/2009 7:56PM

    Good for you taking out your frustration on a mad bike ride!
She's a nutcase. Get a new cell phone and don't let her know. Or do like my mother did to solicitors-blow a whistle into the phone and then hang up on her. You could move back up here, the house next door is for sale!!! We'd love to have you and we won't tell a soul you're here. Snappy and Daisy could play together and there'd be no snakes!
Stay strong and vent, vent, vent! We're here for you!
Kim emoticon

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LADYINOHIO 9/18/2009 7:37AM

    Great blog, great breakthrough for yourself!
Congratulations!
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WILLOW_1956 9/17/2009 7:58PM

    I applaud you! Turning to you bike rather than food what an accomplishment! I hope you can keep using exercise to work off those Mother-in-law calls! ;-)

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GIRL*IN*MOTION 9/17/2009 5:37PM

  I think we might have the same MIL???? haha. I have soo been in some of those EXACT situation like blowing up ALL the phones you own, sometimes only to tell you something so minor. My MIL sends me articles all the time about things I need to change in my life. She told me not to wear flip flops and proceeded to send me all kinds of articles on why haha (she has foot problems, but she is also obese and refuses to admit her obesity has anything to do with her foot problems). I honestly think women like them are so unhappy with themselves they do whatever they can to tear others down to feel better about themselves, as sad as it is. I don't interacte with my MIL much, I leave my husband to deal with it. When she starts up, I just say okay well I gotta go and get off the phone right away. Good for you for the positive attitude you have about it, don't let the toxic vampire take any of your thunder. No matter what she says you know your a good person.

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MOMMAROLEMODEL 9/17/2009 3:55PM

    Wow-- is all I can say. My In laws are bad but nothing compares to that. I would totally invest in caller id and I wouldn't ever pick up if it was her.

Is your husband an only child? If not then I would cut all ties and let the other sibling take care of there nasty mother. That women is trying to drive you away so she can get her son back but good for you for winning.

I just read your comment on the thread-- the best part about that movie was when they got back from vacation she had to ask if we got the package and my husband tells her we are busy and won't watch it till winter time b/c that's when we watch movies-- then he hands the phone to me b/c she wants to talk to me and I get a lecture about how we needed to make time for each other and watch the movie-- she could tell I was so annoyed with her then she throws in you know I love you -I was like bye and hung up.

I pray on a daily basic that I am never like my in laws when my kids get married.

Thanks for sharing your story.
Love,
Timberlee

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HICALGAL 9/16/2009 12:30AM

    YES YOU DO!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRAVELNISTA 9/15/2009 11:01PM

    I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At 1st I bust out laughing thinking you were going to talk about one of your girlfriends. When I realized that it was your Mother in Law and then saw how long your blog was I was immediately saddened.
Your life seems to have your surrounded by many toxic people, your girlfriends, your mother in law and yes your Doctor. I am so glad that you have gotten stronger before our eyes. You have taken the power back and you are in control.

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TCHOZET 9/15/2009 9:07PM

    I'm glad you're starting to set boundaries! Your bike ride seems a little scary to me!

I agree with some of the feedback here; you are letting her get to you (although less so than before).

Take care of yourself; don't let her send you into such a wild ride. Step further back from the situation if you can. The more objective (and less 'hooked' you are) the better!

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TAKINGCAREOFKIM 9/15/2009 6:51PM

    I am proud of you Doreen! What a heck of a bike ride! I am a very visual person so I got a good chuckle out of the picture you painted of how you looked after the ride--Thanks! LOL! Keep remembering that the only one you can truly work on or change is yourself and keep turning her negativity into your positive--good job! Keep up the good work!

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JUNEBUG1944 9/15/2009 4:40PM

    Wow! Bless you my child! emoticon

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 9/15/2009 4:34PM

    There's no way in heck I'd answer that phone and the second a negative thing came out of her mouth, I'd hang up. You know some of the relationship we have with my MIL and I swear our MIL's should start a bowling league. The way we dealt with ours was to essentially cut her out. It was the only way we have found any peace. Everything my husband does is wrong in her eyes and all he really wants from her is approval and encouragement but NEVER gets it. He rarely gets a response or it's all negativity. I know that's not the answer for some but girl, you've done all you can do. Remember you always have a choice as to whether you choose to let her suck the good mood away from you and you can always say "I'm going to hang up on you now and I will not accept any further calls from you until you learn how to behave like a tolerant human being" and if you ever chose to do that, you have to stick with it. I'd have moved again and not told her where we were! LOL

I am proud of you for getting out there and taking the frustration out on the bike and burning more calories at her expense! PFFFT! Take that MIL! Remember always, everyday that you are beautiful. That you are worth waking up in and STAYING in a good mood.

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RASTUS55 9/15/2009 4:32PM

    Yes you certainly do have the power to control your choices and control who you allow in your life. My gosh how did you get so lucky to be surrounded by such vial people? Your mother in law is obviously a very unhappy person who is very discontented with herself and her life...misery loves company! Don't let her drag you down to her level. Sounds like she should either be medicated or find someone else to suck the life out of. Just because she is your mother in law doesn't mean you HAVE to be constantly taunted by this woman. Maybe it is high time someone tells her straight up to get some help for her pessimistic attitude or keep out of your life until she can be decent. She is just jealous because you are doing something positive for yourself and she doesn't have the backbone to do anything constructive with her life. Open those wings sweet pea and soar above the negativity. Your making to many positive improvements in your life to be tethered to that ogre!
Remember this:
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright~
HANG TOUGH!
Ruth

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JEANINECAMP 9/15/2009 4:20PM

    You are AMAZING!!! That's all I can say. This is so painful AND you find a way to heal things in yourself at the same time. You are my hero. :)

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TRYINGTOEVOLVE 9/15/2009 4:20PM

    Oh darlin....it sounds like she is a real challenge to deal with, but you know what? She is only venting all of this toxicity on everyone else because she is so hyper-insecure. The only people that feel a need to "trashtalk" anyone else are people that have to get all of their negative thoughts about themselves out of their systems by propping themselves up with insults hurled at everyone else.

It sounds like you are good at setting boundaries with her, but still having a hard time not taking her behavior personally. Maybe try this, for everything that she says about you, your husband, the pastor's wife or anyone else, immediately realize that she is only saying it about herself, she just doesn't have the courage or awareness to own it. She is jealous of everyone, feels fat, feels like men will cheat on her at the first opportunity. It has nothing to do with you or anyone else.

Also, a great quote that I read somewhere about holding our own power and nurturing our own self-esteem with toxic people: "You will only put up with the level verbal and emotional abuse from others that you will tolerate from yourself."

Good luck!

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ANITAWPG 9/15/2009 4:19PM

    Your last sentence really says it all
The only behavior that I can change, is my own. I have the power!

and you are successful
you didn't eat
you worked out the feelings by a very brisk ride - so not only did you not eat, you got in a workout!!

Way to go!!!!

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DRAGONWOLF 9/15/2009 4:17PM

    That's the way to use things to your advantage. You are not the problem she is. Too bad she see life in such a negative way. At least you got something positive from her this time emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/15/2009 4:17:45 PM

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Jumping For Joy Is My New Exercise!

Friday, September 11, 2009

I could NOT believe my eyes as I stepped on the scale this morning. I thought no way, this can't be right. So after stepping on and off SIX times, it finally sunk in. I actually lost 6 pounds since my last weigh in almost 2 weeks ago! Oh, HAPPY DAY!!! Forget the ' Happy Dance ', I wanted to run outside and dance in the middle of the street and yell Woo Hoo! But since I was naked, I decided to spare my neighbors THAT experience! So I JUMPED FOR JOY instead.

I initially decided to only weigh myself once a month, because of the frustration I felt in the past of seeing no loss week after week. But this week something was different, I actually felt lighter. I'm really surprised by the changes in the last 2 weeks. I feel SO much better, that it's still hard for me to believe. I have enough energy to get through my day, and I wake up feeling great! The exhausted ZOMBIE is gone, and I hope that I never see that limp noodle dragging her tired butt around here again! I haven't felt this good in YEARS! And thankfully, I feel something else that I haven't felt in a LONG time -- HOPE!!!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOTABOUTHEFACE 9/11/2009 10:53PM

    I am so ecstatic for you! I cannot imagine how amazing you must feel! Keep it up sistah girl!
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TRAVELNISTA 9/11/2009 10:07PM

    I am so happy for you! emoticon

emoticon for standing up to your Doctor and then actually switching Doctors. emoticon emoticon

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TNLONGHORN 9/11/2009 9:00PM

    AWESOME!!!!

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TCHOZET 9/11/2009 8:04PM

    You go, girl!

I only weigh at the doctor's which means about every 3 months. It really helps take the pressure off since I'm not in a hurry to take off weight!

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TAKINGCAREOFKIM 9/11/2009 6:47PM

    Wow, this is a lot different Doreen than the one I first contacted--YEAH!!!! I'm doing a happy dance for you. Go get 'em!!

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