Sunday, October 19, 2014
An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"
Monday, August 04, 2014
It's been a while again. Not much has gone on except for my doctor diagnosed me with plantar fasciitis about 2 weeks ago. Been having a lot of pains in my feet for about 2-2 1/2 months now. I kept blowing it off because sometimes the body just hurts for a bit and then goes away for no real reason. At least my body does. But, this didn't. Kept getting worse and worse and worse. I finally had had enough and made an appointment. Went in, and yeah, wasn't nothing.
So she told me to not go barefoot anymore, I had to wear memory foam slippers at home which I hate because I don't like wearing slippers that much in winter, but the middle of summer? Come on! Grrr. And I wasn't allowed to wear my sandals anymore, I had to wear good tennis shoes with plenty of soft support and that. And to take 3 ibuprofen 3 times a day. Which I have been. But I kept deteriorating and my boss at my second job essentially put me on unpaid medical leave to give me some time to heal because I just couldn't do much anymore and I was in so much pain. And even that hadn't helped. Just kept on getting worse. My right foot is so bad that it feels like my entire foot is ripping apart and the pains were shooting all the way up into my calf and my left foot seems to be staying mostly in the arch area, but that feels like it's ripping and burning even when I'm sitting.
So, since it kept getting worse, I made another appointment to see my doctor. She has officially ordered me off my feet at all times. The only time I'm allowed to put any pressure on my feet is when I'm walking from point A to point B, that's it. I have to continue the ibuprofen. She wants me to do athletic wrapping around my feet at night to get the joints to stretch while I sleep. She also gave me a shot of steroids in my right foot to see if it helps. If I'm not doing better in 3 weeks, I am to call her because at that point I would definitely have to see a podiatrist, which could mean surgery. Which is a terrifying thought to me. So, I guess we will see. Except for the point where I got the shot which is sore right now, my foot actually feels a lot better. Could just be the lidocaine working its magic, though. We will have to wait and see. But what's funny is that she warned me that it was going to hurt a lot to get the shot and I was thinking, "Well, I've had a blood clot, I deal with frequent migraines. I can handle a shot." Yeah....I screamed. LOL! She said everybody yells or screams, so I guess I don't feel bad, lol.
So, that's that. But, at least when I feel up to it, I am cleared to exercise as long as it's just swimming, or recumbent bike, or chair exercises. So, that much is good. Now, it's a waiting game. Anyway, I am going to go because writing the way I am is making my laptop dig into my arm and it's getting sore now, ha. So, until next time, keep sparking!
Saturday, August 02, 2014
An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
Friday, August 01, 2014
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’
Get An Email Alert Each Time WINDSONG26 Posts