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Bullying?

Sunday, October 07, 2012

I am sure most of you have heard of Jennifer Livingston's response to the private email that was sent to her suggesting that since she is overweight that she is not a good role model to young girls in her position as a newscaster. Her husband posted it on his Facebook page and it went viral. Jennifer's response was that whoever sent that email is a bully.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUOpqd0rQSo

OK, the email hurt her feelings, but I do not think the author of the email is a bully. I think that the bullying only exists in her mind. Albeit, the guy might have been insensitive by sending the email, but he just gave his opinion that as an overweight newscaster she was not a good role model for young women and that hurt her feelings.

My husband and daughter are overweight and I often make suggestions to them that they need to change the way the are eating. OMG!!! According to Jennifer, I might possibly be classified as a bully; especially if I say something that might hurt their feelings.

In my situation, I have done research on nutrition and discovered certain foods are more beneficial than others for one's health and for losing weight. I have shared this information with both my husband and daughter. At times, when I was not too busy, I prepared their meals according to a particular plan. At other times, I am too busy doing other things and since they are sitting in the house doing not much of anything, I feel that they can fend for themselves.

My husband tells me that the reason he has not lost weight is because I do not cook all his meals for him and he has to prepare his food. What? ! This frustrates me to no end. He places the blame on me and my not cooking every meal for him for his failure to lose weight. He knows what food choices to make that will give him a higher nutrient value with less calories than other foods. But he likes to eat those others foods; he is a meat and potatoes kind of guy and he makes the higher calorie foods for himself.

So, am I a bully when I remind him that he ought to lose weight and needs to make lower calorie food choices? I do not think so.

I see denial and excuses as to his weight issues. Why is it that it is so hard for some, even myself at times, to accept responsibility for one's actions? Oh yeah, I remember now, it is part of human nature. According to the Biblical account of man, it is natural to point your finger and blame someone else for your failure to do what you are suppose to do, (As a side note, I do find humor in the creation blaming the Creator for his failure to do what he was supposed to do.)

On a serious note, I struggle with the same thing and want to blame my husband because I cannot control my sweet tooth. But I know that he is not responsible for what I put into my mouth. I make the choice as to what I eat or do not eat. I am accountable for my actions and there are consequences to whatever action I take, good or bad.

The lesson I learned in all this is that it is important to choose one's words and actions carefully, even though a negative impact may not be intended, the other person may perceive it to be an attack on their self-esteem. I need to be careful to be more sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of another; and don't be sensitive to what other people think. Also, being a role model is not limited to how one looks. There are many other attributes a person has that can serve as a positive role model for young men and women.

I guess it is summed up in, "If you cannot say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIV2RIDE 10/7/2012 7:23PM

    I personally think all this talk of bullying has gone a bit too far. Is it bullying to tell someone (preferably you are related) that they need to make healthier decisions or lose weight or eat healthier? I think not. Is it bullying to make fun of them because they are overweight? Yes, that would be bullying. I think we all like someone to blame but ultimately the responsibility falls with us.

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DESERTDREAMERS 10/7/2012 4:33PM

    Hmm, so, if you tell your DH to eat well, you're bullying him. nd, if you don't make the healthy choices for him, you're, what, neglecting him? Are his arms broken?

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 10/7/2012 2:00PM

    "If you cannot say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." .... God bless you and those from whom you need support.

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RUN_BAKE_BLOG 10/7/2012 1:43PM

    Thank you for sharing...
Like you, I took the unpopular stance in my house and said that I didn't feel the man who wrote the email was 'bullying' her.
Insensitive, probably so.
Was it his business? Probably not.
That being said, we (the public) were not given everything the man wrote...
Did he offer to help her? Did he offer advice?
He is in pretty darn good shape and I can see where he felt he was helping.
Not everyone has the ability to be sensitive to the needs of others.
I think that the word 'bullying' is what caused it to go viral.
We are hypersensitive to the word and what it represents.
I don't think he should have written the email.
I also don't think that it should have been thrown out so publicly as it was.

Ironically we just talked about the 'blame game' in church this morning. What you said is right...WE are ultimately responsible for our own actions. Your husband, you and even your kids.
We need to take a look at ourselves in the mirror from time to time and not only own up to the things we are responsible for, but to also hear what we say to others.
It never hurts to put yourself in someone else's shoes!

I think you had some great points!

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HEALTHY4ME 10/7/2012 12:31PM

    Not sure if I agree with all you say ( my hubby has in the past commented on my wt and I TOOK IT as a bullying comment he says I am only trying to help you and make you see well sounded mean and non supportive to me, I know I know and I know what I am eating, I said I woudln't eat, there are times you don't have to remind me _ LOL that was all to my hubby years back) he now says you know what to eat and you know what not to, guess it is your decision,just dont cry to me if you gain or your knees hurt more.

But all I was going to say was YES my mum always said...

"If you cannot say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."

Wise words sometimes. so you are right on the money with that last line!
HUGS

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ELRIDDICK 10/7/2012 12:23PM

  Thanks for sharing

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Example or Responsibilty?

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Blue Cross and Blue Shield has this commercial where this woman is shopping and it is obvious that she is overweight and she is filling her grocery cart with soda pop, chips, candy, ice cream. While she is doing that, there is a little girl, overweight also, following her with the child sized shopping cart, putting the same items in her little cart. Then the woman turns around and looks at the child's cart and then her own. The message is "Isn't it time to start being an example to your children."

It was a great commercial and it had a great impact upon me. However, not only should we be an example, but as parents we also have a responsibility to see that our children are getting the proper nutrition they need.

It just goes to show that what we eat has an impact on more than just ourselves. I am going to really pay attention to the treats and meals I feed my grandchildren.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESSAMY 10/2/2012 10:28AM

    Totally agree! I have a son that is almost 2 years old and I live everyday that my son will follow the path that I choose. So I have been taking him to the gym and the park since he was 6 weeks old. We have have our plate at every meal filled with veggies. If he does not want to try a food I show him that I eat it... LOVE IT! He then follows by eating it with a smile on his face. I will give him the opportunity to be healthier then I was. Maybe, I hope he will not have the same problems I did. I am breaking the cycle. If it is the only thing I will treat him is activities are fun. Food is good when it is healthy!

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GOING-STRONG 10/2/2012 10:20AM

    It is so important to be good examples for our kids and grandkids. The problem with obesity in America is spiraling out of control and we all need to do our part in getting this reversed. Yay for you!

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Now What?

Monday, October 01, 2012

I have a few minutes of peace and quiet and I just realized that last Saturday I ran the last race I had scheduled for the season. It feels sort of weird, like "Now, what do I do?"

This season I did not meet my goal of a sub30, in fact I ran slower than ever on some of the races that I did. However, it was a season of firsts for me. I ran my first half marathon, half of a half trail run, 10k, 5k trail, helped my daughter and granddaughter both get new personal best times. Best of all, I got my three year old grandson interested in running races.

Although I may have been running slower this year I noticed that I feel stronger as a runner. Lately, when I am out running I realize that I no longer feel like that awkward runner:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGojEyYBmwc

Giggles aside, I am giving serious thought to signing up for a half marathon again this spring, but this time I want to focus on a better time. But I have time to think about that one.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIV2RIDE 10/2/2012 6:46AM

    Congratulations on an awesome year! Getting your family out there and exercising is worth more than a sub30 time. emoticon I think Your plan of the spring half is great. It will allow you to focus on an aspect of your training.

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VEGK80 10/2/2012 4:08AM

    Congrats on all your accomplishments!!
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The 5k race was a trail; my first timed 5k trail run

Sunday, September 30, 2012

I ran my first official 5k trail race yesterday. I was expecting it to be half and half like it was last year. It was for the Fighting Saints Battalion Army ROTC and at the university there are a lot of trails. However, it was homecoming week and there were a lot of activities, so the run was out in the woods.

The trail was an old logging road and it was hilly and rocky. I overheard one person describing his run as "uphill, downhill, uphill, downhill; it was like there was no level ground."
I'd say that is a close description. It seemed like I was going uphill the first half and I was so looking forward to the downhill part of the run. When I got to it, it was rocky so I had to use extra caution.

My time was 36:19; I should not have done that 5 miler the day before because I was very tired on this run. It was a beautiful run though because the fall colors are at peak now. Plus, it was beautiful weather. Here is a photo I took on the run. It is blurry because I did not stop to focus.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAYBER 9/30/2012 10:53PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FRAN0426 9/30/2012 3:35PM

    Congrats on finishing the 5K. It sounds like quite a grueling race with all the upp and down running. But you did it, and maybe next time ease up a bit the day before with a light run---just saying as I myself am not a runner, nor can I ever be with the knee work I have had done.

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MIRAGE727 9/30/2012 1:53PM

    emoticon
I now realize after so many 5Ks that all courses are not the same. I break down my times, note run conditions, and calculate how I fared matching other runs. I do this as a simple goal. I like the self challenging aspects and why not try to weight yourself out on how well you can do. That one shot you took is nice. Looks like a beautiful run! Thanks for sharing. Stay strong!
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LIV2RIDE 9/30/2012 11:57AM

    Great job! I bet it was beautiful out there too.

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Could be spooky....(just for fun)

Saturday, September 29, 2012

I uploaded this photo to Facebook and it located a face for me to tag. Can you find it?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINACHST 9/29/2012 3:16PM

    spoiler: Look at the tree that is in the center of the path just past the bench. The face is inbetween the two branches toward the other tree.

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LABRATIAM 9/29/2012 8:19AM

    Darn it....I can't see it...

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