Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Well I can't say "happy" today. We had a letter come from the IRS yesterday. Apparently back in 2002 they refunded us incorrectly. I vaguely remember this. I know we started on a payment plan of $25 a month. Then when I got really sick for a few months and forgot about it.
They have never sent me anything else. I am lucky I remember what I ate today for breakfast sometimes. So now we have to get $45 really quick to start up a new payment plan of paying them $50 a month. Plus still stressing about the bankrupty that is pending.
I am really hoping the medicare might get approved sooner rather than later. Because a lot of the drug cost that go away will help so much. My long acting insulin alone is $400. a month. I am on about 10 different pills. My sister gives me a lot of her extra meds that are the same as mine. Which is a HUGE help.
I am trying not to stress. Just having had food in the house and proper food sure helps me feel a lot better about myself as in staying healthy. I know God won't bring you to it, if he isn't going to get me through it but I could sure use some down time every once in a while.
So here is my goal. Just for today.
~*~*~Just For Today ~*~*~
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires, I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do a least two things I don't want to do--just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Happy Monday! My DH is off doing errands. We slept a little later than our 3 am today. Got up at 5 am. I got confused because last wednesday when he went to the flea market it felt like Saturday. So I am totally lost on my days.
I just got the strangest call from the State health review lady. She said she had information on a Michael as being my husband. I was like no....my husband is Russell. She was going to check with my social worker perhaps he had an error. Hope that doesn't cause a delay in the approval process.
This story I have read before but I found equally as touching a second time. Enjoy!
~*~*~*~Running in the rain~*~*~*~
She had been shopping with her Mom in Wal-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Wal-Mart.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. Her voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in.
"Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked. "Let's run through the rain!" She repeated. "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied. This young child waited about another minute and repeated:
"Mom, let's run through the rain." "We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said. "No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm. "This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?" "Don't you remember?
When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said.
But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith. "Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said. Then off they ran.
We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.
By: Author Unknown
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Feeling run down. I think it is my sugars. Making my eyes burry and all. Going to take it easy today. Going to test my sugar every 2 hours see if I notice any changes as to my diet / vs insulin. It is almost like my body is rejecting the insulin I am using. It doesn't seem to budge.
Chat with you all tomorrow.
~*~Black and Gold Boxes ~*~
I have in my hands two boxes Which God gave me to hold He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black, And all your joys in the gold." I heeded his words, and in the two boxes Both my joys and sorrows I store But though the gold became heavier each day The black was as light as before. With curiosity, I opened the black I wanted to find out why And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole Which my sorrows had fallen out by. I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud, "I wonder where my sorrows could be." He smiled a gentle smile at me. "My child, they're all here with me." I asked, "God, why give me the boxes, "Why the gold, and the black with the hole?" "My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings, the black is for you to let go."
~*~Always There ~*~
Hello God, I called tonight To talk a little while I need a friend who'll listen To my anxiety and trial. You see, I can't quite make it Through a day just on my own... I need your love to guide me, So I'll never feel alone. I want to ask you please to keep, My family safe and sound. Come and fill their lives with confidence For whatever fate they're bound. Give me faith, dear God, to face Each hour throughout the day, And not to worry over things I can't change in any way. I thank you God, for being home And listening to my call, For giving me such good advice When I stumble and fall. Your number, God, is the only one That answers every time. I never get a busy signal, Never had to pay a dime. So thank you, God, for listening To my troubles and my sorrow. Good night, God, I love You, too, And I'll call again tomorrow!
Have a Great Day!!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Good Morning and Happy Saturday to everyone. I am fine and doing well. I have to admitt I am sleeping a lot more than I need to. But I think the sugar levels are making me tired. My husband says I have started talking while I sleep. I asked him what I said, he tells it is all mumbles. ha!
I don't think many people read blogs on Saturdays. So for those of you that do, I have a "Double Header" he he, They are short but they made me smile. Hope they help to make you smile as well.
A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel. In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox.
The boy dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With a little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy, and the rock was very large.) When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox however, he found that he couldn't roll it up and over the little wall.
Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox. The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, & shoved; but his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his chubby fingers. Finally he burst into tears of frustration.
All this time the boy's father watched from his living room window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the boy's father. Gently but firmly he said, "Son, why didn't you use all the strength that you had available?" Defeated, the boy sobbed back, "But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I had!"
"No, son," corrected the father kindly. "You didn't use all the strength you had. You didn't ask me." With that the father reached down, picked up the rock and removed it from the sandbox. Do you have "rocks" in your life that need to be removed? Are you discovering that you don't have what it takes to lift them? There is One who is always available to us and willing to give us the strength we need. Isn't it funny how we try so hard to do things ourselves.
What's Prettier Than Freckles
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him.
"I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful." The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
Have a Great Day!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Finally got some rest and it was uninterupted. I recently had my insulins switched and I don't think the new one is working as well. I have taken a lot of it and my sugars were still over 200 yesterday. I notice when the sugars are up my eyes act up as well. Very blurry and can barely see. I am flying blind so to speak I need to do some research. I am on novalog and not sure how this is suppose to react. I thought it was fast act but now I am not sure. I got an old precrip filled of my humlin R. It has seemed like it is working. My long acting insulin I use is Lantus.
See when I was in the hospital in March they switched my meds and insulins around. I was taking an oral med that hinders weight loss. So I was excited. However when I got released from the hospital I needed to get a check up at the endocronologist. Which would be fine if I could get out of my house. The doctor that comes to see me said they had no endoc. in their service. When I showed her how much I was taking she had never heard of anyone taking as much as I am and it not working. Frustrating because the longer my sugar is out of range the more defects from the diabetis causes. So it sort of makes me feel like I am waiting on my next hospital visit. I don't know what else to do.
I am using a new meter and I am hoping it is working correctly. The other meters I am out of strips. It cost $54 dollars for 50 strips. No way I am paying that. I called Liberty and they are sending me some. They have a financial hardship program I am hoping to get on. I really don't want another bill I can't pay.
Since this is a "Woman" post ...sorry Onereallybigdog and Flyer99 maybe you will learn something ha! Anyway here are 2 questions for you.they both could probably be man problems.You never know.
1. This is for the very obese people. I have edema in my legs which over the last few years I am noticing it effecting my stomach. It was always lower. It makes my stomach feel like I have rock solid celulite. Hard to discribe. See I take my insulin in my stomach. My legs are too skinny at the thigh area. Over the couple of months this rock hard feeling has started moving up. I was thinking maybe that is what is causing the insulin not to work. Starting today I am going to inject on my arm and see if it makes a difference. Maybe if this starts moving more I will be known as "The Rock" ha!
2. Ok second question. With the edema on my legs they swell a lot and they are beat red a lot. Which gives me a lot of dry skin. I can never be in any water and have to spounge bath. So the dry skin is sort of builded up. My husband trys to rub but it never comes off and lotion we use on my legs and feet as well. I was wondering if there was a product that removes dead skin that I could use without the water part?
Ok enough of that.
Below is "One flaw in Women" I love it. It had no pictures in it though and I wanted pictures! darn it. haha! So I spent about 2 hours searching this morning and found some.
Sorry Graphic junking here for the win!
Have a great day!
**~**One Flaw In Women**~**
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Please pass this along to all your
women friends and relatives to remind them just
how amazing they are
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