~* ~ LIFE IN A MANURE PILE ~*~

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Happy Wednesday. It is rather chilly here today. 47 degrees burr. Was watching the miner rescue this morning. Hope great is that! Had me bawling happy tears. My sinus' are kicking butt today. We ran out of tissues so I am working with napkins and then TP after that. Ha!

My DH's jaw has improved a lot now. Which is good except yesterday at work he turned wrong and has been having bad back pain. He is still working though. He is taking motrin and a muscle relaxer at bed time.

I have been trying to figure what my next move is. Currently we are trying to scramble for Gas money. My husband's pay use to go direct deposit. But, they changed banks so now we have to wait for it in the mail. It comes on Friday and my husband working 2nd shift we can't cash it until Saturday. So our "stretching" is a little longer than normal.

Our van is really guzzling the gas. We are spending $80 a week in gas. We just can't afford the gas and a auto shop visit. Gas is going up again Yay! (sarcasm). We tried one of those gas treatments and it didn't do anything. Think it may need a tune up.

While I am still not seeing how we will keep the Electric Company at bay I am fighting myself. The "creepy" feeling is fighting the "faith" feeling. It is an hourly struggle. Depending on the time of day but, the winner is changing a lot. Too bad I can't log those as fitness minutes. Ha!

Have a Good Day!




LOVE THIS SONG!! I think it is my new theme song.





www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ&
feature=related









~* ~ LIFE IN A MANURE PILE ~*~
Author: Unknown


There was a time when my husband aspired to be a self-sufficient, back-to-the-land pioneer. He bought a windmill, some oil lamps, beehives, and a couple of pigs, which our son named Lois Lane and Clark Kent... This dirty duo caused me many headaches, from the day we took them home. Although tied in gunny sacks and secured in the back of our pickup truck, the Houdini hoglets managed to free themselves , leap from the truck, and head for the hills. We eventually got the slippery little buggers safely home, but only after a rough and tumble scramble through the woods.

Lois and Clark were adventurous piglets who soon learned to scale their little pig house and jump off the roof to freedom outside their fence. Motorists on the busy highway near our home frequently reported seeing "two wild pigs" darting between cars. And more than once, I received angry phone calls from neighbors who found the pair digging up their flower beds.

I was usually the only one home when the pigs went exploring, so the job of luring them home fell to yours truly. How does one convince two full grown hogs to follow you? It requires a slop bucket full of cottage cheese, apple peels, and other goodies.

Once I had to trudge through waist-high snow, leaving a trail behind me of table scraps. By this time, L and C had become man eaters, so they followed close behind chomping at my heels.

Yes, pigs BITE - at least Lois and Clark did. And once they tasted blood, they preferred it to their usual diet. That diet consisted of truckloads of stale bakery bread , sour milk from the dairy, and scraps from local restaurants. Keeping the pair of porkers fed was a job. Lois and Clark ate a lot - and you can imagine what else they did - a LOT. The manure pile grew into a mountain which remained in the field long after Lois and Clark were transformed to bacon and porkchops and laid to rest in our freezer.

The following summer, I planted a huge garden. I weeded it, fertilized it, and tended it daily only to discover at the end of the season that my prized vegetables were dwarfed in comparison to the huge tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash that had sprung up from the manure pile.

Why am I telling you more than you cared to know about pigs and manure? Because there is something to be learned here. (God has lessons for us everywhere, if we are willing to see them.)

Most folks have felt the pain of seeing their hopes shattered and dreams destroyed. We all have felt at times like life is one big dung heap and we're living smack dab in the middle of a mountain of manure!

The Bible says that God can produce beauty from ashes. He can take the smelly, disgusting pile of manure that our lives can sometimes be - and He can grow some prize- winning, life-giving fruit (and veggies) from what looks to us like garbage.

So, you see, there is hope - even atop the manure pile. Just as the garbage in a compost heap makes a garden grow, the garbage in our lives can bring forth good things too and help us to grow.

We may wonder why God allows the manure to pile up in our lives, but I'm sure it's no accident or surprise to Him. It couldn't happen without His approval. The good news is that we don't have to climb that manure mountain alone. Yes, trouble comes into every life, but we have a source of strength to uphold and guide us; and we have hope, the essential ingredient for making it through the dung heap.

So grab a shovel and start digging. There's a harvest on the other side.

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~* I Love You, Honey *~

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Good day. I am normally a half full kind of person. Today I am only at a quarter. My DH's face was completely swollen on the one side. It went up to his sinus and made his eye close and run. He was having trouble seeing. He had to call out from his work. He has no insurance so I called his doctor and asked for an antibiotic. The Dentist was closed for the holiday. They called one in and we had just enough change to buy it. The swelling is down a little today.


His lost wages are not helping our situation. So I am freaking out a little bit. Wonder where I would go if we lose power. I did some reading and it says they can cut you off. Of course all those articles had about how people died from it.


Now I could be all down and out about it but I am not. Let me explain. My DH's patient he works for during the morning is not doing well. I feel so bad for his family. My husband says he says he has to go to the bathroom and all that comes out is blood. He also keeps saying it is Friday and he wants to go to the 7-11. I feel so bad for him and his family. My husband said the hospice doesn't think he will last a week. It really hurts my heart thinking of them. I keep saying prayers to give his family strength. It sort of puts all problems into perspective. We have a lot more blessings that problems really.


Have a Good day and God Bless.
















~* I Love You, Honey *~
-Author: Unknown


They have been married for two years. He loves literature, and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography, and he handle their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper, and always bullies him. He is a gentleman, and always gives in to her. Today, she's being "willful" again.

Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care; you'll have to do it for her.
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."

Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."

First day.
She "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, and hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence". Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day.
She conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets, and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences." He's nervous now. Night. On the bed. He begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day.
Night. On the Bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."

She remains silent.
Him: "Let's get a divorce."
She did not believe her ears.
Him: "I got to know a girl."

She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him.
But she held it down, wanting to let him finish.
But her eyes already felt wet.
He took a photo out from his chest.
Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: "She's a nice girl."
Her tears fell.
Him: "She has a good personality too."
She's heartbroken, because he puts a photo of some other girl "close to his heart".
Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."
She's very jealous, because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: "She loves me truly."
She wishes to sit up and scream at him: "Don't I?"
Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."
She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.
Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: ".....!"

He brings the photo before her eyes.
She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning mark of a slap on his face.
He sighs.
She cries.

He puts the photo back to his pocket.
She pulls her hand back under the blanket.
He turns off the light, and sleeps.
She turns on the light, and sits up.

He's asleep.
She lost sleep.
She regrets treating him the way she treated him.
She cried again, and thought about a lot of things.

She wants to wake him up.
She wants to have an intimate talk with him.
She doesn't want to push him anymore.

She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.
She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry, and she wanted to laugh.
It's a nicely taken photo of her. A photo he took for her.

She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.
He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.









www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBErCVNP6rM&
NR=1

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***** REPEAT AFTER ME........... *****

Monday, October 11, 2010

Happy Monday!

I sit here eating my Yoplait light yogurt Red Velvet cake flavor. It is strange because I have never had Red Velvet cake so I can't say if it tastes like it or not. I found that if I have one a day it helps my stomach. My DH is SO cute. They had the yogurt on sale and he found this flavor Black Forest Cake and a 3 berry torte flavor. He gets all excited showing me his find. Personally I can't wait for the Black Forest Cake one. Yummy.

My DH has changed his nationality. He is no longer American but Russian. He Rushes in and Rushes out. Ha! Sorry bad joke. He chuckled when I told him. Thank goodness for the phone or I would never talk to him. His face is all swollen this morning from his tooth. I put in a call to his dentist for an antibiotic waiting on them to call me back.

Still a little concerned over the Electric. They have given me 3 extensions problem is our bill was over $1200. So we have to finish the $700. by the 26th. They said no more extensions. I don't understand how they can cut me off with my oxygen. Kind of like a catch 22 because the place where they help you we would no longer qualify cause of my husband's income. Stinks cause they aren't considering how behind we have gotten when my husband's unemployment ran out. I did reach the Water company and they said as long as I keep up my payment plan I am ok with them.

This nurse thing is stressing me out too. I have a girl I am contacting today to interview her. The way this nursing thing works is they pay her but I am in essence her employer. So I would be the one who has to get rid of her as well. So staying strong in faith that somehow it will all work out. We have been through worse and I just need to keep on keeping on. Which leads me to the following posts. Enjoy!











~* GOD's Presence *~
Author: Unknown


"Let me see your kindness to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for my prayer is sincere." -Psalm 143:8


Arthur Gordon is a favorite writer of mine. Once he came to New York to interview Dr. Blanton, a co-founder of the American Foundation for Religion and Psychiatry. Mr. Gordon sat in a restaurant waiting for the esteemed psychiatrist to arrive. As he waited, his mind went back over his life. By the time Mr. Blanton arrived, Mr. Gordon was sitting there with a frown and a very sad look on his face. "What's the matter, Arthur?"

"Oh," the writer replied, "I've just been sitting here thinking about all the 'ifs' in my life."

Dr. Blanton suggested, "Let's drive over to my office after lunch; I want you to hear something."

Later in his office, Dr. Blanton put on a tape and said, "I'm going to let you listen to three different people; they're all patients of mine and they are mentally ill. Listen carefully."

For one hour the great author listened. When the tape was finished , Dr. Blanton asked, "Tell me what single trait all these people had in common."

Arthur Gordon thought a moment and then answered, "I can't think of anything."

"Then I'll tell you," the psychiatrist said. "All of them kept repeating the phrase, 'If only...if only...if only.' These words cause mental sickness. They are like poison. These people must learn to say, 'Next time...next time...next time.' These words point to the future, to a new day, to healing and health!"

I trust my past to God. My eyes are on the future!











www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dqk53
sAxLmg&NR=1



















~* Beginning Today *~
Author: Unknown



Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can cha nge by choosing to do so.


Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.


Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration.


This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.


Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others. I will use this gift to enhance the lives of others.


Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter.I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self-improvement.


Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.


Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before, I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.


Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.


Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy . . . admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath . . . pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.


Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.


Beginning today. And every day.

Just a thought, but as I often think of you and realize how much God loves you, sometimes I think we need to also love ourselves through His eyes.


God Bless.

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~* Giving when it counts ~ a Precious Story not to be missed *~

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Happy Sunday.
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions about my nurse. Yes I need to grow a backbone I guess. I just have trouble with confronting or hurting people. I was talking to my husband and there is a girl that was going to replace another on the case he is on. (my husband works for the same company as my nurse) Because the man isn't doing well they are going to wait for a bit. I am definitely going to get my care plan and talk with Linda about it. I think if I bring up the cleaning and laundry she will probably just leave on her own.

I want to have a back up plan so my husband doesn't get any other part of my care with what he is doing now. My poor DH is having an infected tooth now to boot. He was in a lot of pain last night. He at least can take my motrin and tylenol for pain for the time being. His sinus is starting to get infected and making his eye water. We can't afford a doctor. I might call tomorrow to his old dentist for an anti biotic and hope he can get in there in a few weeks.

At this point I am not seeing a way we are going to make the Electric deadline of October 26th. Then we even got a shut off notice this time from the water company. I am not letting stress get to me though. I am keeping my prayers going that it will all work out. God have seen us through tougher times and God will see us through this.


I found this story and it just floored me. I was so touched I did a laugh / cry. It was just precious. Below that are some Beautiful quotes. Enjoy!










** Giving when it counts **
-author unknown

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save her.”

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?”.

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.












~*~ 25 Beautiful One-liners ~*~
Author: Unknown


1. Give God what’s right…not what’s left.

2. Man’s way leads to hopeless end…God’s way leads to an endless hope .

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.

6. Don’t put a question mark where God puts a period.

7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a faith-lift.

8. When praying, don’t give God instructions…just report for duty.

9. Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.

10. We don’t change God’s message…His message changes us.

11. The church is prayer-conditioned.

12. When God ordains, He sustains.

13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14. Plan ahead…It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

17. Exercise daily…walk with the Lord.

18. Never give the devil a ride…he will always want to drive.

19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

21. He who angers you controls you.

22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23. Give Satan an inch & he’ll be a ruler.

24. Be ye fishers of men…You catch them & He’ll clean them.

25. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.









www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rqsltr5vsE&
feature=related

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~* The Five Questions Most Feared by Men !! & some VENTING *~

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Happy Saturday! I have a little venting I need to do today.

My nurse yesterday did finally show up. She had told me on Thursday she would be here by 8 am. So I made sure not to get involved with anything so I was ready for her. At 9 when she didn't show I called her. She returned my call at 9:40 am said her husband's truck broke down and she had to take him to work and she would be here soon. Well at 11:30 she came. I asked her as I have asked her previously if she wasn't going to be here when she said if she could call and let me know. I am ok with the being late part but waiting keeps me from my normal routine and how involved I want to get into what I do daily.

I hadn't been feeling well an wanted to go back to sleep but stayed awake for her. When I told her this she got mad at me and said along the lines of "Well if you going to be mad oh well." I wasn't mad but I was stressing I had asked her before to just call and let me know. She went on to point out I didn't have anywhere to go so what was the big deal. Now I have completely changed my schedule around so she can work at the other job she has. The schedule changes day by day depending on her cases. If she would have just gave me a quick call I would adjust my routine accordingly.

Part of her duties is suppose to be light housework like laundry, meals and dishes. But since she first started she refused to do those. She did laundry for a few weeks but then she complained so much that my husband told her not to. She is a CNA and cleaning is above her. Once I asked her to get the windex and if she could just clean the tv screen cause it was all dirty. She got all snippy with me. My husband and I don't like confrontation or arguments she we let it go. I could have asked for a replacement for her long ago but there are far and few nurses that are around my area and she knows it. I like that my animals like her and all. Normally as long as it all goes her way we don't have a problem. Don't get me wrong she does a lot of nice things as well. She brought me a pair of her socks the other day. I need to buy some and we just can't afford anything right now.

Lately she has been making comments like "There is so much laundry spread all over the bathroom floor." Well my husband is working 68 hours a week so he can't get to everything. I am not sure why she tells me this. It isn't something I can do anything about. Another is "There is water on the floor in the kitchen with a towel over it." or "The dishwasher is filled with all dirty dishes and the sink is full as well." or "There is cat food spilled all over the back room." Again something I can't do anything about. She is really jealous over my marriage and I get the impression that she is trying to start stuff between my husband and I. Well that isn't going to work.

It makes me stressed sometimes and it is getting to the point maybe we would be better off without her but then my husband would have to do everything. Right now I don't want to put more on him.
Whew, ty for listening I feel better.










www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOd2NuHgwew





Ok these post are strictly for fun. So any men out there I do apologize but they were too funny not to post. But be careful your secret is out!




~* The Five Questions Most Feared by Men *~
-by an unknown man.


1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?

3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

5. What would you do if I died?



What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.



Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"




Question # 2: Do you love me?
.
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh yeah, sh*t-loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?




Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.




Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define pretty
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.




Question # 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Jaguar and a Boat").
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:

Would you get married again?

Definitely not!
Why not, don't you like being married?

Of course I do.
Then why wouldn't you remarry?

Okay, I'd get married again.
You would?
(Man groans.)

Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Where else would we sleep?

Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
That would seem like the proper thing to do.

And would you let her use my golf clubs?
She can't use them; she's left-handed.

- - - silence - - -

Shoot.


















~* "What are you thinking?" *~
-Author unknown but by a man


Every male in the world has had to deal with this question, which is more often than not uncorked at entirely inappropriate times, such as when you are watching sports, locked in a passionate embrace, or reeling in a feisty marlin from the Gulf of Mexico. Regardless of what you're doing, you must come up with a complete and satisfactory answer, or stand accused of Hiding Your True Feelings. Which means, of course, you'll spend the next week pretending to be sorry. So you've got to come up with something. And it had better be good. Now, the obvious question here is: WHY do women want to know what we're thinking? Simple: they assume we're thinking in the first place. Hard to believe, but there it is.

Why on earth would they think that? Well, go up to a woman and ask her what she is thinking. I have just done so with my wife, and this is what she is thinking about: "Off the top of my head, I'm thinking about the party we're having Saturday, and how I'm going to fix that chandelier in the front room so that people can walk around without hitting their heads. Underneath that I'm thinking about my work schedule this week and whether or not I'm going to have time to do some of the things I need to do at home as well. And under that I'm wondering if it's too late to get tickets on a plane to Ohio for Christmas. AND I'm thinking about getting a snack." Not only is she thinking about something, she's thinking about four separate things. If I check back in five minutes, she'll still be thinking.

Women are always thinking, and often about practical things. Men, on the other hand, are actively thinking for about five minutes out of every hour (usually not in sequence). So, at best, you have a one in 12 chance of catching a man actually having a thought. What are we thinking about?

1. Sex
2. Food
3. Steve Miller tunes
4. Sports
5. "Beavis and Butthead"
6. Sex
7. Work
8. The black unknowable nothingness that frames our existence (or beer).
9. Sleep
10. Sex


In summary, randomly asking a man what he's thinking has precisely a 8.83 percent chance of turning up a real, verifiable, honest-to-God thought. You might as well bet on the New York Jets. Sound harsh, guys? Fine. Quick - what are you thinking? Had to think about it, didn't you. You lose. Sit down. Despite the overwhelming evidence that men, in fact, are almost never thinking, women will still demand to know their innermost thoughts. In a way, it's touching; women are expressing faith that, if they prod long enough and frequently enough, they may yet boost the number of times we think in an hour. And they will. Unfortunately, most of what we'll be thinking is "stop asking me what I'm thinking." And that's just going to get us in trouble. The best way to keep a woman from constantly asking you what you are thinking is to have a ready, prememorized answer for the times that she does. Here are some tried and true responses, with the pros and cons of each:


"I'm thinking that tonight it'd be nice to stay at home and sit by the fire together."

Pros: Romantic; sounds as if you're spontaneous. Cons: Requires fireplace (or a cement floor and ventilation).


"I'm thinking how much I love you."

Pros: Generally provokes a positive response that short circuits any need for further conversation; is often also true. Cons: If you use it too much, she'll know it's a line, and then you're really in trouble.


"I was wondering if there is actually life on other planets."

Pros: Cosmic; Shows you are a deep thinker. Cons: Woman may wonder if this is an intro to the same sort of "alien sigmoidoscopy" story that ruined her last relationship.


"I was imagining, if I were an animal, what sort of animal I'd be.

"Pros: Imaginative; Allows woman to spend many happy minutes trying to establish your place in the animal kingdom. Cons: She might think you resemble a marmoset or skink; she may forego the animal world altogether and go straight to yeasts.


"I'm just thinking about how true the lyrics to 'Dust in the Wind' really are."

Pros: Shows depth of musical knowledge; As last resort to forestall conversation, you may break out into song. Cons: If she's a connoisseur of 70s melodic rock, you may find yourself in a bitter, divisive quarrel about which is deeper, "Dust" or Aerosmith's "Dream On."


Keep in mind that these responses are not to supersede an actual thought. If you find yourself having one at the moment she asks, go ahead and share it, as long as it's not something along the lines of "This relationship blows" or "I really like margarine." With a little practice, you should come out okay. But, hey, that's just what I think.



Have a Great Day!

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