Wednesday, May 28, 2014
I don't have anything interesting to say, so I am going to ramble about this:
I promised myself I wouldn't diet anymore. Mostly because I slip into some really bad stuff while dieting. Binge and purge are never far behind. Deep recesses of depression. Uncontrolled panic attacks.
Even when I was a teenager, my family would tease me that I had to eat every two hours like a baby. (I was healthy weight then, but didn't believe it. That was when purging began-not because of the teasing, because I was already binging in secret).
To this day, I enjoy food more if I can eat it in private. Some days at work there is a co-worker who sits facing my desk. And I struggle to eat my breakfast, even though I know she is busy and not really watching me.
One time I had a job interview that was dinner at a Mexican restaurant. It was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life, even though I already knew the interviewer, and generally felt comfortable around them.
I really don't know how to handle these food issues. knowing that I normally eat at a minimum of 5000 calories a day, I can't be healthy. especially when it is empty carbs hello pasta and bread). When I was losing weight before, I was restricting carbs, and it worked well. Yet when I try to get back into the habit, it last a few hours. Like an addict I can talk myself into buying a bagel or sandwich or something.
I think I need this meme from pinterest:
Monday, April 21, 2014
At least I am getting lots of exercise. But I am curious how many neighbors are standing at their windows and laughing their butts off.
My morning jog goes like this:
My pup is too young to leave the yard (according to the vet, she needs all her parvo vaccines first). So I jog her in laps around the house. Only, I am fat and floppy and she is young and full of energy. Oh, and she really just wants to bite my ankles. So picture a fat, disheveled lady jogging around her own house, flailing to keep her dog from biting her and half dragging the dog when she gets distracted. Oh, and she always has to have a poo in the middle of the front yard. Then I forget where it is and half to leap over it when we circle back around.
Oh well, by the time she is given the go ahead to meet the neighborhood, maybe I will be able to run a decent a amount.
Honestly, I haven't been tracking food, though I feel the exercise is helping. I am exhausted now, 10 at night. But during the day, I feel good. I walk on my breaks and come home at lunch to take Molly out. Since I only have a 30 minute lunch, I feel like I had a real workout by the time I run back into the office, barely on time. So I am counting it as a win.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Hmm... I might be up a couple of pounds. I haven't started trying yet. I am definitely transitioning around here. I am about to start my first full time job in 10 years. I truly don't know the first thing about working full time and raising children (and a puppy). I am really nervous.
I started practicing crock pot cooking. Something I only do sporadically, but since I will be working until 5 every night, I need to get in the habit. I don't want us to end up eating fast food every night.
Any working mom advice would be appreciated!
And here is a picture of my puppy, Molly...
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
Still at it. Still fat. But I am not complaining.
I think I shall set some goals and try a bit, for real. At 35, one would think I would have developed some maturity and follow through.
Where there is life, there is hope they say, and I'm not dead yet.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Healthy isn't always hard. It is so easy to be bogged down during weight loss with the hard stuff. Pushing farther, eating less, cravings. Oh the cravings! But there are good sides, or at least easy sides too.
This morning breakfast was eggs fried in a LITTLE olive oil with left over turnip greens and a slice of bread. It was easy and really yummy. With it I am having ice coffee made with unbleached coconut sugar and almond breeze. Taste as good as the stuff from McD's to me.
I just wanted to take the time to appreciate this easy moment and remind others to do the same. What do you find easy?
Picture of the day:
In October, we took a booze cruise with some friends. I got to swim with dolphins. Fat isn't going to stop me from experiencing life!
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