Wednesday, August 22, 2007
hunters ed all day, sat on my but from 7am.-8pm.
was on the farm picking pumpkins didn't have my pedometer on
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Well last week I was so proud of myself, I had lost 2#'s & 2 3/4"'s,,I wanted to see what kinda damage I had done to myself this week so I weighed this morning, the scales showed I gained 6#'s OMG, why? why did i do that to myself i work so hard & just like pissed it away...i haven't been keeping up w/my food or anything else, i haven't been exercising just doing my TAGS from the army nothing extra, I can't do that & I know it..I have had a freakin malt every single nite, & not a small one either, we went to deer camp last weekend and Harriet fixed Lee one so then he decide that we needed to buy the stuff to make them at home, so evey nite I've been making him one and me too,,well all the ice cream is gone now the last of it was eatin last nite w/another malt, there wont be anymore ice cream brought into the house for a while..I told Lee this morning that I didn't care what he said but I was going to start walking w/mom and the other ladies again I didn't care if he was there or not, & that he made me feel guilty for doing anything while he is there, i can't continue to just do the right thing 3 days a week, it wont work & it's not working for me so i got to go about this another way..i have got to figure out something, on how to do this, it's pretty easy for me to stick to it when i'm at home, but the problem i have is when i go to his house or when he comes to mine,
HIS HOUSE, we get up early[6am] go into town(lives 12 miles out in the country) eat breakfast, then we go ride around most of the day, then we do nothing but if i go to jog or anything he says you come up here to spend time with me not to exercise , & makes me feel guilty for doing it,
MY HOUSE, Sun. nite, Mon. nite, & Tue. nite he is at my house, if i go into my workout room that i have made out of an extra b.r. he will come to the door & say I came down here to spend time w/you not to sit here by myself, so again i feel guilty & stop what i'm doing & go sit on my FAT ACE & watch tv w/him,
Sometime i wished i didn't even have a boyfriend [that's sad i know] Sometimes i think if we lived together then i could exercise when i wanted to, but i don't want to live with him, i don't care to live w/him, so i have got to figure something out on how to do this, i eat the right kinda food alot of the time, but htis past week wooo was just a bad week,, as it stands i only get to exercise 3 days a week and for me that's hard, if i do it everyday i can stick to it much better than if i do it 3 days a week it's so much harder fo rme to get back into a routine, & i don't feel like 3 days a week is enough anyways.....HELP!!!! what do i do?? I have got to stop letting him decide when i get to exercise, it's like he is controlling me now that i think about, & i'm not going though that again I WILL NOT LET ANY MAN OR ANYBODY CONTROLL ME EVER AGAIN!!!
I need to sit down tonite & make myself a plan & stick to it....
Thursday, August 16, 2007
I have been working my butt off with the ARMY, and it showed this morning with the tape & scales,,the number's are getting smaller and I'm proud of myself,,all though I could have had a bigger loss if I hadn't eat ice cream just about everyday,,it's been anywhere from 90-115 everyday, i drunked that crap out of water, it's like i couldn't get enough of it, but that's good that i did drink the water. but in the evening time while sitting and watching Big Brother I would have some Ice Cream (1 cup) it was fat free and no surgar, but i know that's not an excuse, but i'm doing better with it, i used to eat a BIG bowl of it when i would eat it, so i am learning to portion it out...
I started walking w/my mom and 2 other ladies last night, they walk 3 miles every night, they walk a little slower than I do and one lady said that i had to much energy cause i would get to walking and talking and before i knew it they were way behind me then i would have to turn around and go back to where they were,,but that's ok that's extra steps for me,,,
yesterday my pedometer showed that i walked 10,847 steps but i had done more than that because i had walked mr. wiggles that morning 1/2 mile and had done more when i got to work then about 2 hours of having it on i looked to see wht it showed and it said 19 steps so i had to fix it,(it riped me off from my steps),,i hope to add to that number today...
well got to get to work the shops are calling,,,
Have a great day,
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
It's so hot outside that I just don't want to do anything.(97-104)..I have been watching what i eat (but not tracking it on sp) and I have been slacking on my workouts, i'll do some of the challenges and i don't do any cardio..I have got to get back in the groove of things, I have gained 3#'s scence the weekend, but i'm woundering if it might be that i'm not getting all my water in each day, i hope that is all it is....I go to see a new Dr. in Oct. for my thyroid, i hope he puts me on something different, I feel so ran down most of the time, i have no energy to do anything or to even want to do anything,,,i can be standing up and all i can think about is finding a place to sit, that is so sad that i can't or don't want to stand i know that i burn more cals. standing then sitting,,,i don't know if i'm just being down right LAZY or if my meds. are off and need to be adjusted, well we will find out come Oct...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
i think back to when this all began and i've been at this for about 1 year....the original 13-ish pounds & 13 inches lost are gone & gone forever but then the next 52 that i need to lose just aren't budging if i could just loss 1# a week i would be so happy,. i loss nothing for 16 or more weeks then i lost 1# and , i gain it back then i loss it again..this is going on for 4 weeks now,..i cant figure it out.. i continue changing programs, confusing my body every couple of weeks, drinking 10-16 glasses of water a day,,sleeping, focusing..i have even added a new work out too(the easy shaper all over body workout) it kicks my butt,.and nada. nothing sticks. i'm just annoyed. how can i not lose weight? i work out like crazy. i've changed my cals up & down to try different things....nothing is working. i even gained some of my inches back that i had lost it's not alot but it was something , i am glad i'm not gaining but i feel like a failure. how come i cant do this? i know that with my hypothyroid it's gonna be harder for me to loss but why is it this darn hard it makes me want to just say forget it, it's not worht all this frustration it's like i stress over it every freacking week and it's not worth it.
extremely frustrated today :(
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