WHOLENEWME79   49,072
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Emotional eating & health concerns

Saturday, March 01, 2014

I've been having a problem recently with my eating. I know it is stress related. 3 years ago, I would have never had the awareness I do now. The problem is, even though I know why I am eating, I still do it.

I believe it would help if I was exercising, but I am on limited fitness ordered from my cardiologist because I've been having bad palpitations lately and my new meds are not helping as much as I wish they would. So no P90x, no high intensity cardio, and no exercise period when my palpitations are acting up and I can feel them.

Fitness is is my primary anti-depressant and anti-anxiety med. I have other stuff I can use (actual pills), but I prefer not to unless I absolutely have to, and I don't feel like I am at that point right now.

Maybe in another few weeks, once my new meds take effect, I will be able to exercise with more consistency. Until then, I am a little scared because I don't know what to do to manage. I am afraid of getting myself back into the 200s. I don't know what that would do to my motivation, but I know it wouldn't be good. It wouldn't be good for my self esteem, either.

All I can do is keep moving forward. I will do better at tracking (I've been slipping), and I am going to work on at least walking every day. I may not be able to do what I want to do, but that doesn't mean that I can't do something (usually).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTY1229 7/4/2014 10:40PM

    I've been battling a disc problem, I have discovered that yoga really has helped me with strength, and because it focuses me on my body, I find when I'm done, I have more ability to resist the food calling to me.

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Frustrated with SP

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I'm feeling frustrated with SP. I hate to say that because I've been a member for... 7 years, I think. But I am. I think that maybe the site has become too large with too many users for the SP staff to really be able to handle.

I say this because I've noticed that the message boards, which I used to love and refer to often, have been taken over by people I think of as 'dietary extremists'. They post message after message, and the whole goal seems to be to further their personal agenda. They cite studies and websites that are highly questionable, and some that are downright laughable. They cite studies that have not been peer reviewed and are preliminary and use that as hard evidence. They use books for evidence that have been been called into question because the author misrepresents the evidence, and sometimes completely ignores what the research actually says, to further an agenda. And if anyone disagrees with them, or points out research or evidence that proves them wrong, they ignore it or insult the poster.

Part of the reason that it is so frustrating for me is that I have worked in the past in medical research, researching a lot of the books and websites they quote, and so I know how they purposefully misinterpret the evidence to further their agenda, or their willful ignorance of actual facts.

These threads pretty much always dissolve into name calling and insults, and yet nothing is done.

It is frustrating, because rather than feeling comfortable with posting questions, I am afraid a thread I start or want to read may be taken over by these people. I take my concerns to SP and they say there is nothing wrong with it. But wouldn't this sort of stupidity be more appropriate for a spark team or blog? I feel like it violates the the intention of the community (for example, the diet & nutrition board states "Get and give tips about eating better and planning a smart, delicious menu. Plus, answers to your food and nutrition questions from Becky Hand, SparkPeople dietitian, and other experts". These posts that flood the boards have zero to do with this).

I've noticed the same thing on other boards, but to a lesser extent than diet & nutrition.

The other thing I have noticed is that member seem to feel free to attack and insult each other, and the SP staff rarely does anything about it. I've seen this on the panic board, and fitness board, as well as others. It used to be that if someone insulted another user and was cruel, that SP would take care of it so that the boards were a positive place to be. But that is no longer the case in most instances.

I'm looking at other sites, including pay sites, because I get frustrated coming here. SP used to be a great place to come, but there is so much disrespect and negativity now that I have a hard time remaining positive.

I really wish SP would do something to bring the integrity of the message boards back, but it does not look like they have any plans on doing that any longer. It is really disappointing, because I used to love this place, but now I just find myself frustrated with this "community", as it stands now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEBBA 3/17/2014 3:25AM

    I love SP, without it I really think I would be lost. Fortunately, I've not experienced the negative things which you've mentioned, although there are certainly a lot of different opinions out there.

I sometimes think 'Oh, that's been put rather bluntly' but I've thought that it's more about the fact that we all express ourselves differently and that maybe the content of what they've said is worth considering, to see if it resonates with me. I do manage to switch off from the things which sound, to me, to be stupid - and I also think that it's OK if someone wants to follow a regime which is unrealistic; be it on their own head. I just don't follow them In the end, it's often not about what people offer, it's about how they write it. Having said that, I'm horrified if someone has been told to get off a site. Nobody, but NOBODY should ever compete for who has the worst problems. We all walk only in our own shoes, and what is a nightmare for one person is tolerable for another. I have no issue with a delicately and politely phrased bit of straight talking, but it has to be judged very very carefully, maybe wrapped up in a non-judgemental, third-party sort of way. (e.g. "I used to think that way myself, but then I realised I was bogging myself down in a pity-party and not doing myself any good." - that's the sort of way to drip-feed something positive to someone who is always negative, rather than publicly humiliating them or being unacceptably aggressive.) Unfortunately, not everyone is gifted with the ability to use the written word wisely, and from there do problems and ugly dialogues spring.

Please don't leave - I'm enjoying your blogs and they promote interesting responses too. For all the faults you have highlighted, SP is still predominantly full of positive people and resources. For me, a pay-site is not what would attract me; I prefer the altruism of a free site because, warts 'n all, it conveys to me that the cause is more important than the monetary return. I'm always a tad wary of people wanting to make money out of my problem by taking advantage of my desperation to lose weight through my wallet. Finding SP was a breath of fresh air for me. But I'm not you - vive la difference!

Thank you - another good blog!


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SUSANBEAMON 2/24/2014 1:35AM

  rants are good, if they help to clear our minds. I tend to ignore the threads that, I think, project an agenda I don't follow. Such as anything to do with the thing called Paleo diets, which I think is sillier than wet sand. I guess it depends on what you are willing to put up with, and what you will waste time on. It starts to get nasty or stupid, I go elsewhere.

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HERMIEME 2/23/2014 11:13AM

    Hi! I'm relatively new here and am having a really positive experience with the challenges though I've heard some BLC teams are horribly mean and tough love-y and I requested not to be put on a competetive team. I've seen an SP coach step in once, though I think the person was just asking a valid question about what pro-ana was, and wondering if they had it and where to go from there and they were told to get off the site. I must say I felt sorry and embarassed for the woman. I have received some immmediate help from community team members on the boards. I keep meaning the team I Need Sleep though because it's just a vicious competition as to who has it worst and I've been told in many nasty ways basically m problems are nothing compared to other peoples'.

So know what you mean, but I think it would be the same all over. Pretty darn good considering the amount of human beings on this site. If you don't like the boards, perhaps you can avoid those ones and you might enjoy joining the very positive Community Team and concentrating on the welcome boards. It really makes me feel positive and I get a great response. But then again I don't know much medically like you. I also LOVE those challenges and if you're interested in the HOGWARTS its's closing registration this week so let me know.

Have a great day. Please don't leave!

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EABHA70 2/23/2014 10:53AM

    I know exactly what you mean about the Message Boards! The most common thing I see is this:

One person asks for a good recipe using ingredient X.

Then several people show up to say ingredient X is evil and will kill you and you're wrong to even think about eating it. They eat only ingredient Y, and it has to be locally-sourced, organic, free-range, gluten-free, wheat-free, etc.

The end. Ugh.

I am really trying to eat normally. That means eating a large variety of things, eating when I am hungry, stopping when I am full, enjoying each bite I put into my mouth, and having treats on occasion. It's more about my behaviour than the actual food that I choose. Moderation in all things. No food is totally off limits. And some people on the Message Boards seem to think this is somehow wrong. I just want to eat like a normal human being!!!

Well, I am working on ignoring these posters, but you are right...it is scaring others away, preventing them from asking questions and getting the advice they need.

Whoa. Sorry for answering your rant with one of my own!

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/Rant mode on

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

I'll be honest- I think gastric bypass and gastric sleeve are a joke. I've worked in a surgeons office who performed these operations and I've seen the people loose hundreds of pounds, only to gain it back again within a year or two because they never changed their eating habits.

The surgeon is a very good, and he insists on people getting counseling and diet advice from RDs and a fitness plan laid out by a trainer. Maybe 30% of the people I've seen (i forget the actual 'long term' success rate at the moment) keep the weight off. But most of them return to old habits, because they view the surgery as a cure all, even with all the help and advice. They want their miracle cure, and they get it. But once the weight is off, they go back to the way things were.

I am watching a show about a 900lb woman. She lost 500lbs through diet and exercise and medication. But after that, her doctor tells the camera that if she doesn't have the surgery, she will never be able to control her eating.

How does surgery solve the underlying issues? How is surgery going to keep her from eating hot cheetos with cheese sauce (called nachos)? She clearly needs some other assistance besides the surgery, and based on what they are showing, it does not look like she is getting it.

They just showed her in the grocery store, and she says she "cannot eat what she wants" and "cannot eat what she sees". She is vocalizing that she sees this as restricting her from doing what she wants, eating what she wants. No one is able to maintain a life of restriction. That is why 'diets' fail. It has to be a 'want to' change, and it has to be a lifestyle to make this work.

Obesity is a real struggle, but no one seems to really want to get to heart of the matter. Politicians, doctors, health educators, the food industry; No one really addresses the problem. Or when they try to, people argue about 'restricting freedoms' or whatever.

How is killing yourself with food freedom? I may not be eating 1200 calories burritos 4 times a week like I used to, but I am more free now than I ever was at 250+lbs. In doing what I wanted, eating what I wanted, I was limiting myself from new experiences, new places, new activities and new foods. I had to buy 2 plane tickets to fly places. Sex with my ex was uncomfortable and not satisfying. I was embarrassed to go places, so I didn't. I could not wear the clothes I wanted, so I wore tattered, stretched out rags.

My life is far from perfect now, but I cannot imagine being limited the way I used to be. THIS is freedom. Health is freedom.

/rant mode off

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEBBA 3/17/2014 2:46AM

    I just found your blog and wanted to say how much I agree with you! I was miserable, back up to a high weight after 30 years or so of yo-yo dieting - oh, and starting WW when it first came to England in 1970-ish. VLC diets like Cambridge and Lighterlife, then Slimming World, WeightWatchers (several times) blah blah blah. Finally, I persuaded my husband to let me explore the why's and wherefore's of bariatric surgery because I just didn't have another 'diet' in me. I went to a really good consultation, with a friend, and saw a non-pushy-I-want-your-money-in-exch
ange-for-a-quick-fix-gastric-band surgeon. We chatted frankly and I soon realised that cheating a g.band is easy-peasy. I declared that this bothered me because my problem is where just about every obese person's problem is…. in my brain/mindset/attitude to food. OK, it manifests itself on the bit between the neck and the ankles, but it's hormone balance and brain.mind in origin. So, unless that is addressed, what the heck is the use of a gastric band? It's easy to slurp down ice cream, sloppy gloopy unhealthy calories if 'your head isn't in the right place.' So we talked about gastric bypass - woohoo, I wasn't big enough although he would do it if I was desperate. No, I instinctively knew this wasn't for me, too. Even a gb can be cheated - and boy, do I have the medal for knowing how to cheat when it comes to food. I came home to do more research, and was searching specifically for the 'downside' of g. band or bypass, I wanted to know the REALITY of it all. I couldn't find anything which inspired me, I knew it wast for me. I knew I could cheat it and the adverse health considerations for the rest of my life simply weren't worth the risk. I was honest and realistic, but I was also despondent about where to go from there. I just couldn't face another 'diet'. I was destined to be fat and miserable. Or was I?

Suddenly, a pop-up came about a woman who'd lost 400lbs without surgery. CRIKEY! I watched the video like a paralysed stoat staring down its prey, then I found another similar video, then another. I had to keep stopping and starting the clip to catch and write down the name of the company these women were talking about. It sounded so odd, I even wrote it down - several goes, in fact, because it sounded so odd. And what I wrote was Spark People! I looked it up and in that moment my life changed. I joined immediately and within hours had two or three Friends. I did really well to start with, but I suddenly fell off the wagon a few months later. I stayed away for ages until, a few months ago, my pal emailed me privately, kicked my derriere and told me nobody was going to humiliate me, tell me off or be critical. So, I came back - and it was like coming home to a place of safety, to where I belong. I am home and I am sooo happy.

The weight is going more slowly this time, but I'm also different in my mindset too. THIS time I'm calm, I'm learning about nutrition, I'm learning about what my body needs to do in order to lose weight. I'm at the gym twice a week and my shape has changed so I look a lot lighter than I actually weigh. I am not on a diet, I am eating to improve my health AND lose weight, too. Recently I discovered Dr Byron Richards leptin regime and, when I stumbled on him, I realised that he seemed to be writing about me! I am now following his regime, tweaking the actual content of my food as I go along. Im finding that eating 3 meals a day, with 5 hours between each and 3 hours after the last one before I go to bed, I am calmer and, weirdly, am not searching for something to nibble on in-between times! Even 'legal' nibbling led to my having food always on my mind, and had me thinking about what else I could get away within my calorie range- now, I don't get those thoughts. I am calm and motivated, diligent and honest. I weigh and track everything, I log-in daily, I build up my points by reading articles and listening to SparkRadio, interacting with Friends, being interested in nutrition and a healthy life style. THAT is 'where it's at'!

Until people wake up to the need to be ruthlessly honest and not try to find an easy fix where they can continue to stuff their faces with huge portions of all manner of greasy, calorie-dense and unhealthy c**p AND lose weight dramatically and end up looking like one half of Brangelina, obesity will continue to be a blight on modern life. Thankfully, I found SP and I am going to get to where I'm headed. My mind is leading and my body will follow. This is not about weight - although that is the desired outcome. It's about educating the brain/mind to set the right conditions for health. With support, we can do this.

Thank you. Good blog.


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Comment edited on: 3/17/2014 2:54:27 AM

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SUSANBEAMON 12/5/2013 12:58AM

  emoticon emoticon all those gastric surgeries are not the help they are fed to us as being. i have to tell my family at least once a year that i will never have gastric surgery. once upon a time i thought about the fat suction procedure, but that is another fake solution. me, i need to move more, but i haven't wanted to enough yet to do it. it all comes down to desire.

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IMAVISION 12/4/2013 10:47PM

    Excellent blog!

God bless!

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TLB1630 12/4/2013 10:25PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Trials and tribulations

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

I am pretty happy with my current size- I am a 12-14. I would like to be an 8-10, but I think I have reached the point where I need change things up a bit as far as my routine.

I am making a point of doing zumba as my cardio one day per week to give me a change from my standard elliptical. And I think I will attempt to add additional strength training. I do power pump twice a week, but I am going to try to add some ST on Saturdays or Sundays. Not sure what to do, though. Free weights and weight machines are boring, and my gym does not have strength classes on the weekends.

I could do one of my Coach Nicole DVDs, and just use heavier weights than I normally would. I could do a YouTube video, like those featuring Jennifer Aguirre. Or I could just do standard stuff, like push ups, chest presses, lunges and leg lifts, etc.

I also need to look at my diet. This has been a struggle for a few months, and I believe that it is my depression coming out to play. I also struggle with being hungry all the time. I am keeping my fiber up, since that helped so much before. I've added flax seed to my diet many days for the fiber and Omega 3s. I drink plenty of water- Again, I don't always remember to track it, but I get 8+ glasses a day.

I've experimented with increasing protein, but I just stay hungry if I do not get enough carbs. Fat and carbs are what keeps me full, so I will need to go back to eating like that most days.

I want to get more veg into my diet, but I am flat broke at the moment- I have $0.70 to my name until next week, so I have to make due with that I have- Potatoes, carrots, and some old celery. Oh, and frozen corn. I could make a soup, actually. Probably a good idea, it will just lack protein since I have just one chicken breast, about 6 ounces ground pork, and some bacon. I could put a few slices of bacon in the soup, and I think I have a quarter cup of lentils, and some good rice.

I will go through my car and apartment and see what sort of change I can put together to buy some protein. There was a sale at the local megamart on pork shoulder. Or I could just do without and get extra veggies or lentils, which would be cheaper.

We'll see, I suppose. Sometimes I just get frustrated with this still, but I don't want to erase my progress.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHOLENEWME79 12/3/2013 1:02PM

    Good idea, Red! I actually have a few cans of no salt added black and kidney beans that have been sitting on my shelves for a while. If I can get some cilantro, lime and jalapeno, I could make this a southwest style soup. Much more interesting than what I originally had planned.

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THE_RED_BIRD 12/3/2013 11:21AM

    Lentils or beans would definitely be a good addition to your soup! Lots of protein and complex carbs to keep you full. What about getting some eggs? That's a pretty cheap source of protein. I don't know about your store of course, but the Kroger near us often has marked down fresh emoticon veggies and meat, which is a big help on our tight budget.

I hope things ease up for you soon.

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Mashed potatoes are underrated

Sunday, December 01, 2013

I have a bunch of white potatoes and sweet potatoes sitting in my kitchen that I got out of my bountiful basket a couple of weeks ago. I made 'mashed potatoes' tonight as part of my dinner, and what a treat that was. I used a single TBSP of half and half, and 10g of butter. They were sort of dry, but with the chicken and peas and corn, it was nice.

I will very likely make another round of mashed potatoes, but I'll use some no sodium chicken stock to help make them a bit less dry, and the stock will add some additional flavor.

Tomorrow I will make a potato cake (pomme de terre anna), but with sweet potatoes. That will be delightful as a dessert, or even a side for dinner. I put together a sort of tentative recipe in sparkrecipes, but I need to actually make it to see how much of what I actually end up using, and cooking time, etc.

People should really eat more potatoes, I feel like they are underrated, and demonized by the low-carbers. Nothing wrong with carbs, especially in a more natural, less processed form. Plus, they are generally pretty yummy. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THROOPER62 12/2/2013 5:22AM


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CAPT_BUTTERFLY 12/2/2013 1:35AM

    I've used milk in my potatoes on occasion instead of butter, it's quite good. I am Definitely a fan of mashed potatoes, i usually make about twice as much as i need for dinners to make sure that i have lots of leftover of the Potatoes as well as everything else.

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ELSCO55 12/1/2013 10:35PM


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HARPIE 12/1/2013 9:30PM

  I totally agree!

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