Saturday, March 01, 2014
I've been having a problem recently with my eating. I know it is stress related. 3 years ago, I would have never had the awareness I do now. The problem is, even though I know why I am eating, I still do it.
I believe it would help if I was exercising, but I am on limited fitness ordered from my cardiologist because I've been having bad palpitations lately and my new meds are not helping as much as I wish they would. So no P90x, no high intensity cardio, and no exercise period when my palpitations are acting up and I can feel them.
Fitness is is my primary anti-depressant and anti-anxiety med. I have other stuff I can use (actual pills), but I prefer not to unless I absolutely have to, and I don't feel like I am at that point right now.
Maybe in another few weeks, once my new meds take effect, I will be able to exercise with more consistency. Until then, I am a little scared because I don't know what to do to manage. I am afraid of getting myself back into the 200s. I don't know what that would do to my motivation, but I know it wouldn't be good. It wouldn't be good for my self esteem, either.
All I can do is keep moving forward. I will do better at tracking (I've been slipping), and I am going to work on at least walking every day. I may not be able to do what I want to do, but that doesn't mean that I can't do something (usually).
Sunday, February 23, 2014
I'm feeling frustrated with SP. I hate to say that because I've been a member for... 7 years, I think. But I am. I think that maybe the site has become too large with too many users for the SP staff to really be able to handle.
I say this because I've noticed that the message boards, which I used to love and refer to often, have been taken over by people I think of as 'dietary extremists'. They post message after message, and the whole goal seems to be to further their personal agenda. They cite studies and websites that are highly questionable, and some that are downright laughable. They cite studies that have not been peer reviewed and are preliminary and use that as hard evidence. They use books for evidence that have been been called into question because the author misrepresents the evidence, and sometimes completely ignores what the research actually says, to further an agenda. And if anyone disagrees with them, or points out research or evidence that proves them wrong, they ignore it or insult the poster.
Part of the reason that it is so frustrating for me is that I have worked in the past in medical research, researching a lot of the books and websites they quote, and so I know how they purposefully misinterpret the evidence to further their agenda, or their willful ignorance of actual facts.
These threads pretty much always dissolve into name calling and insults, and yet nothing is done.
It is frustrating, because rather than feeling comfortable with posting questions, I am afraid a thread I start or want to read may be taken over by these people. I take my concerns to SP and they say there is nothing wrong with it. But wouldn't this sort of stupidity be more appropriate for a spark team or blog? I feel like it violates the the intention of the community (for example, the diet & nutrition board states "Get and give tips about eating better and planning a smart, delicious menu. Plus, answers to your food and nutrition questions from Becky Hand, SparkPeople dietitian, and other experts". These posts that flood the boards have zero to do with this).
I've noticed the same thing on other boards, but to a lesser extent than diet & nutrition.
The other thing I have noticed is that member seem to feel free to attack and insult each other, and the SP staff rarely does anything about it. I've seen this on the panic board, and fitness board, as well as others. It used to be that if someone insulted another user and was cruel, that SP would take care of it so that the boards were a positive place to be. But that is no longer the case in most instances.
I'm looking at other sites, including pay sites, because I get frustrated coming here. SP used to be a great place to come, but there is so much disrespect and negativity now that I have a hard time remaining positive.
I really wish SP would do something to bring the integrity of the message boards back, but it does not look like they have any plans on doing that any longer. It is really disappointing, because I used to love this place, but now I just find myself frustrated with this "community", as it stands now.
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
I'll be honest- I think gastric bypass and gastric sleeve are a joke. I've worked in a surgeons office who performed these operations and I've seen the people loose hundreds of pounds, only to gain it back again within a year or two because they never changed their eating habits.
The surgeon is a very good, and he insists on people getting counseling and diet advice from RDs and a fitness plan laid out by a trainer. Maybe 30% of the people I've seen (i forget the actual 'long term' success rate at the moment) keep the weight off. But most of them return to old habits, because they view the surgery as a cure all, even with all the help and advice. They want their miracle cure, and they get it. But once the weight is off, they go back to the way things were.
I am watching a show about a 900lb woman. She lost 500lbs through diet and exercise and medication. But after that, her doctor tells the camera that if she doesn't have the surgery, she will never be able to control her eating.
How does surgery solve the underlying issues? How is surgery going to keep her from eating hot cheetos with cheese sauce (called nachos)? She clearly needs some other assistance besides the surgery, and based on what they are showing, it does not look like she is getting it.
They just showed her in the grocery store, and she says she "cannot eat what she wants" and "cannot eat what she sees". She is vocalizing that she sees this as restricting her from doing what she wants, eating what she wants. No one is able to maintain a life of restriction. That is why 'diets' fail. It has to be a 'want to' change, and it has to be a lifestyle to make this work.
Obesity is a real struggle, but no one seems to really want to get to heart of the matter. Politicians, doctors, health educators, the food industry; No one really addresses the problem. Or when they try to, people argue about 'restricting freedoms' or whatever.
How is killing yourself with food freedom? I may not be eating 1200 calories burritos 4 times a week like I used to, but I am more free now than I ever was at 250+lbs. In doing what I wanted, eating what I wanted, I was limiting myself from new experiences, new places, new activities and new foods. I had to buy 2 plane tickets to fly places. Sex with my ex was uncomfortable and not satisfying. I was embarrassed to go places, so I didn't. I could not wear the clothes I wanted, so I wore tattered, stretched out rags.
My life is far from perfect now, but I cannot imagine being limited the way I used to be. THIS is freedom. Health is freedom.
/rant mode off
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
I am pretty happy with my current size- I am a 12-14. I would like to be an 8-10, but I think I have reached the point where I need change things up a bit as far as my routine.
I am making a point of doing zumba as my cardio one day per week to give me a change from my standard elliptical. And I think I will attempt to add additional strength training. I do power pump twice a week, but I am going to try to add some ST on Saturdays or Sundays. Not sure what to do, though. Free weights and weight machines are boring, and my gym does not have strength classes on the weekends.
I could do one of my Coach Nicole DVDs, and just use heavier weights than I normally would. I could do a YouTube video, like those featuring Jennifer Aguirre. Or I could just do standard stuff, like push ups, chest presses, lunges and leg lifts, etc.
I also need to look at my diet. This has been a struggle for a few months, and I believe that it is my depression coming out to play. I also struggle with being hungry all the time. I am keeping my fiber up, since that helped so much before. I've added flax seed to my diet many days for the fiber and Omega 3s. I drink plenty of water- Again, I don't always remember to track it, but I get 8+ glasses a day.
I've experimented with increasing protein, but I just stay hungry if I do not get enough carbs. Fat and carbs are what keeps me full, so I will need to go back to eating like that most days.
I want to get more veg into my diet, but I am flat broke at the moment- I have $0.70 to my name until next week, so I have to make due with that I have- Potatoes, carrots, and some old celery. Oh, and frozen corn. I could make a soup, actually. Probably a good idea, it will just lack protein since I have just one chicken breast, about 6 ounces ground pork, and some bacon. I could put a few slices of bacon in the soup, and I think I have a quarter cup of lentils, and some good rice.
I will go through my car and apartment and see what sort of change I can put together to buy some protein. There was a sale at the local megamart on pork shoulder. Or I could just do without and get extra veggies or lentils, which would be cheaper.
We'll see, I suppose. Sometimes I just get frustrated with this still, but I don't want to erase my progress.
Sunday, December 01, 2013
I have a bunch of white potatoes and sweet potatoes sitting in my kitchen that I got out of my bountiful basket a couple of weeks ago. I made 'mashed potatoes' tonight as part of my dinner, and what a treat that was. I used a single TBSP of half and half, and 10g of butter. They were sort of dry, but with the chicken and peas and corn, it was nice.
I will very likely make another round of mashed potatoes, but I'll use some no sodium chicken stock to help make them a bit less dry, and the stock will add some additional flavor.
Tomorrow I will make a potato cake (pomme de terre anna), but with sweet potatoes. That will be delightful as a dessert, or even a side for dinner. I put together a sort of tentative recipe in sparkrecipes, but I need to actually make it to see how much of what I actually end up using, and cooking time, etc.
People should really eat more potatoes, I feel like they are underrated, and demonized by the low-carbers. Nothing wrong with carbs, especially in a more natural, less processed form. Plus, they are generally pretty yummy. :)
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