WHITNEYLD   32,722
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Tuesday, December 06, 2011

The motivation behind my recent diet obsession is that last weekend, someone who came in to the bar in which I work said I was fat, that I needed to lose weight, and that my husband was lying when he said he loves how I look, and he'd rather I was thinner. For someone who already has issues, this really blew my mind. I find myself looking fatter and fatter in the mirror, and disgusted with myself. I thought I looked good before he came in, and since he left I feel sick. I cried at work outside and had to pretend it was fine.

Worse yet, it's a small town bar and everyone somehow now knows what happened. At least most people do. I feel really embarrassed and ashamed of my body.

I stayed on the slim-fast type diet yesterday. I watered down my ranch since we don't have light dressings for salads. I drank two of those things. Unfortunately, a woman bought me two shots of tequila, but I was still around 1,000 calories yesterday. I am pretty motivated, I worked out the two days following that fat attack. Going for a walk in a few minutes. I know it seems extreme for me, but I need a change! My anxiety is worsening. I didn't need some guy to say I was fat and needed to lose weight - someone I had to still WAIT ON! My body dismorphia is acting up, I am seeing myself fatter than I did last week. I am also over my highest weight. Time for an intervention!


December blues.

Monday, December 05, 2011

Well, it's December and I am officially as fat as I've every been 141-144. It fluctuates, I guess. In my desperation, I am resorting to the Wal-mart version of Slim-fast. I have 19 days until the holidays, we will see how that goes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KTBDAY 12/6/2011 5:50AM

    That sounds a bit boring, are you sure you've set sensible goals for yourself? What's the motivation behind your goals?

I hope you can find a solution that works for you. Following particular diets really doesn't seem to work in the long run, because they aren't made up of food you would normally eat. I would really struggle on the Slim Fast diet, because I don't find milkshakes satisfying. If it works for you, that's what matters.

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I am Not Good at the South Beach Diet.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

That is all.

On the other hand, I am alright at a low-cal and whole grain diet. I will include more vegetables as are in the SB Diet, but somehow I completely blow at this diet. I don't know how to be successful. I read the book, and somehow I just can't stick to it. I decided to just go on dieting as I have in the past for now, and maybe try it later.

I feel like something must be wrong with me, because it seems like I am only gaining weight.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIREWORK20 11/15/2011 9:39AM

    Hi there! I was wondering how you were doing! SO glad to see you haven't left!

You have to listen to your own body and do what works for you! Are you adding in snacks? That can help. Eating every 3-4 hours before you can get truly hungry can help a lot!

I wish I could do more to help! Keep getting support from SparkPeople members and hang in there! You CAN do this and you WILL figure out what is best for you if you just keep trying! You can do anything you set your mind to! :)

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ANNSLEE1 11/15/2011 9:28AM

  There is nothing wrong with you. This "diet" is not for you. Stay with a healthy balanced meal plan with smaller servings, increase your exercise, and eat when you are hungry, not just to be eating.

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South Beach Diet, Day 1 (again)

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Well, I blew it. Every other day, in fact. But it's ok! I have totally stuck to the plan so far today, and I have planned my day out in advance as usual. I have had problems due to my new job (yay, job!) being at a restaurant where I can have unlimited fried mozzarella sticks, onion rings, burgers, breakfast things, etc. gratis. I feel like I am getting a workout when I am there, though, as I'm the only waitress. I have never done it before and so far, so good!

I think today I have managed to be pretty good to the plan. I want a piece of dark chocolate. MMmm... 90% Lindt, 1 square. That would be lovely. Maybe after a week of sticking to this thing. It only has 3 carbs, so how bad could it be? 55 calories. I think I might actually be able to eat it on South Beach, but who knows. I have been eating it and I've blown it every day, so maybe that is the problem! I will fight the temptation and, instead, enjoy for sugar-free peach jello. Yum!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIREWORK20 11/10/2011 10:24AM

    Love the positive attitude! Good luck and keep us updated on how you are doing!!

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DAKOTA106 11/9/2011 10:06PM

    Good for you stay strong it's worth it in the end!! emoticon

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RENEE3327 11/9/2011 3:05PM

    emoticon Good luck i have heard many good things about this plan

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South Beach Diet

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Well, I am starting the "South Beach Diet" tomorrow. I got a job as a waitress at a local diner and will be busy during a period of time now, so hope that will keep me from mindlessly munching.

I read/skimmed the book. My mind is racing, can't sleep. Have to work early tomorrow. I made my egg white omelet in advance according to the book's recipe (plus some extra veggies). I also pre-made a tuna, onion, and green pepper concoction and have that ready to take with me tomorrow. Add that to a sugar free jello cup, and I should be flying high on my new low-carb lifestyle.

Phase 1 consists of no starches whatsoever. No potatoes, rice, wheat, what-have-you. No carrots. No fruit.

I can eat a limited amount of foods, which has worked well for me before. I have a very varied diet, which is good nutrition-wise (usually), but it is mostly high-carb and low in fat. I eat nuts often, and on this diet I can consume 15 almonds or pecans daily, or 2 tbsp. peanut (or, I assume, almond) butter. That, and lean meat (think chicken. fish, or round steak) and vegetables, as well as low-fat or fat-free dairy (cheese, cottage cheese, milk, and plain fat-free yogurt). Pretty excited to get started. The book claims the average weight loss for this first two weeks of Phase 1 is "8 to 13 pounds." Wish me luck.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUAILONE 11/4/2011 4:24PM

  Just started South Beach this week. Have lost 2 lbs so far. emoticon

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REDNECK-COWGIRL 11/4/2011 11:57AM

    Good luck and don't forget to introduce yourself to the team. I lost 12 lbs on my induction period so the claims are true and don't forget your water. emoticon

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KTBDAY 11/4/2011 4:11AM

    Sounds like you're getting on track. Best of luck with your new approach and I hope you get great, healthy results!


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