Hopeless.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Does anyone ever feel like giving up?Just accepting that I will always be this size or bigger and I can't stick to a diet? I can still exercise (a walk) each day, but I just can't diet. I suck at it, and it is really a blow to the self-esteem to fail every day for the past 10 years.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHITNEYLD 10/26/2011 3:19PM

Thanks, all. Report Inappropriate Comment

CRYSTAL8488 10/26/2011 12:52PM

I think sometimes we all feel this way at some point. Instead of using the term dieting, why not think of it is changing your habits or making healthier choices. When you go out to dinner, instead of choosing something high fat/high calorie..find a smarter more healther option. Just aim to drink more water and walk after dinner. Start with small steps and eventually you'll see big changes. I think your overwhelming yourself! Take a big deep breath and take small baby steps and you will get there. We are here for you and I believe in you, that you can do this! Don't give up! Report Inappropriate Comment

FIREWORK20 10/26/2011 11:36AM

I think everyone feels like giving up sometimes. Don't dwell on it though! Don't think about the negatives--think about the positives! I don't know what all your diet is like, but I would recommend starting out very small. Do you drink cokes? Try cutting back, or go completely off! Don't think "I'm not going to eat any junk food today" instead think "I'm going to eat veggies with every meal today". and then do it! Add some veggies to an egg in the morning. Add some to your lunch and your supper. Don't focus on what you can't eat, but instead think about the things that you CAN eat. Plan meals in advance! Don't think about it as a diet, but as a lifestyle change! Start small though and as you gain confidence doing those things, it will give you confidence to try bigger things! Skip the mayo for a week. Switch to light salad dressing instead of regular for two weeks. Eat dessert every night? Try only eating half of what you would normally eat instead! Try using smaller plates for all your meals. It can help trick your brain! Decide that for the next week you will not eat in front of the tv. What I'm saying is, don't make such drastic changes that you cannot keep up with it! You are changing habits that you've had for YEARS! It will take some time and it won't be easy, but the good news is that you can make it easier! Make three small changes this week. That's it! Changes like: 1. drinking 8 glasses of water 2. walking every day 3. eat veggies with every meal Do changes that you KNOW you can make! Don't set yourself up for failure! You can do this! Don't give up! You don't have to settle for anything less than what YOU DESERVE and you DESERVE to live a healthy and happy life! Don't say you can't either!!! Tell yourself that you CAN. Maybe you won't fully believe it at first, but keep repeating that to yourself and find some determination inside of you. Remind yourself WHY you want this and keep on reminding yourself! You can do this! "whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right" So just decide right now that you CAN and you WILL. It won't happen overnight, but it WILL happen if you decide to MAKE IT HAPPEN! You can DO this! Let others on SparkPeople encourage you and help keep you going. Read some of the inspiring stories that other members have. ALL of them had periods that were rough, and they had setbacks and times that they felt like giving up. But they DID it and you can too! Report Inappropriate Comment

SPONGEBOBBIJ 10/26/2011 10:38AM

Whitney - Yes, some days we all feel that way. But then you've got to look back at goals you've written down. You've got to look at the reasons you started this journey. Look at the fact that most likely you will never be happy just giving up. You just need a break. Rethink. Step back and replan. Think about what's been working and what hasn't. Think about things that have helped you be successful in the past and things that have sabatoged you. Make a list of reasons why you want to give up and reasons why you should press on. Just take a moment to take the pressure off of what you're going to eat today and put it on how you feel about yourself and your goals. Maybe if you just take a break and rethink you'll feel better about it. Weight loss is a hard hard hard journey. I heard something early on in my weight loss journey that stuck with me. "It is very hard to lose weight and maintain the loss. It is very hard to be overweight. Which hard do you want?" Frankly, neither way is easy. You know, take some time to write down all the totally awesome stuff about yourself that you and others love. Write down the stuff that rocks about you! Go do something fun with friends! Go do something you are great at!!! Get yourself out of the low self esteem rut and then you'll feel better about giving it another go. I believe in you. Message me anytime if you need a boost. Yes, we all wanna give in at times. It's a normal part of the journey. There are ups and downs...don't get too discouraged...it's normal to feel like that. Hope some of this helps. Report Inappropriate Comment

First weigh in.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Well, I gained all the weight I'd lost back in the past four days. I haven't been able to eat any salad or any vegetables hardly due to the pain from the surgery. Pizza seemed to go down OK! Ridiculous.

Weigh-in for December challenge:
10/24: 138.5 lb.

Next weigh in is Monday. Hope I have made some headway by then.

Hope you all had a good weekend!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JONESINGAL 10/25/2011 12:40PM

You can do it! Good luck on your journey! Report Inappropriate Comment

KTBDAY 10/25/2011 11:46AM

You can do this, one step at a time. I hope the pain goes away super quickly! Report Inappropriate Comment

Winter Challenge.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I am participating in the "20-somethings with 25+ lb. to lose" challenge, in which the goal is to lose 20 lb. by the winter holiday. I am starting today, and not going to count my weight gain unless it sticks around until Monday. I can't believe two days of 2,000 cal. or less would make me gain 4 lb, 3 of which from ONE dinner out. I think it's water weight.

Monday 10/17: 138.5-139 lb.
Thursday 10/20: 134.5 lb.

Challenge weigh-ins:
Monday 10/24:
Monday 10/31:
Monday 11/7:
Monday 11/14:
Monday 11/21:
Monday 11/28:
Monday 12/5:
Monday 12/12:
Monday 12/19
FINISHING WEIGHT 12/26:

Perhaps this will be a nice way to stay motivated throughout the temptations of the upcoming holiday celebrations.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KTBDAY 10/23/2011 7:03AM

Sounds like a great challenge. Good luck and stay strong! Report Inappropriate Comment

Pre- and Post-Op Complications.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

No complications with the surgery, but diet wise, it's been bad. Well, I got the teeth cut out yesterday (wisdom). First of all, I wil start by saying my sabatoging husband took me out to dinner Friday, and I hasn't eaten much Friday due to nerves. I had a glass of wine ast the restaurant, and despite pre-looking at the menu online and deciding on Parmesan Crusted Tilapia with rice and steamed vegetables. The Olive Garden's similar dish has 590 calories. I would have been fine for the day due to my eating less. However, after the wine, I opted for the Chicken Scallopini, which consisted of linguine, cream sauce, chicken sliced, and bacon and mushrooms, topped with cheese. I also had a margarita, and 1/3 of an appetizer, which was fries with MAYO and CHEESE, and don't forget the green onion. Who puts mayo on fries under the cheese? Apparently Johnny Bigg's, but wow. They were really good.

In a nutshell: I blew it. My 1 week diet curse turned out to be true. Then, yesterday, I managed to eat enough pudding and smoothie from McDonald's, as well as a big (2 cup) bowl of instant mashed potatoes with butter and cheese, and a bowl of scrambled eggs, sausage, onion, and cheese. So much for me not being able to eat much! The potatoes actually hurt, but I am definitely back on track today. I will be able to walk again by tomorrow if not today. No exercise for 48 hrs. afterward.

Oh well, such is life. I made it 3 3/4 days on my plan, lose 3 lb. and weighed in yesterday (after one meal off-plan and around 2,000 calories for the day) at 138! Back where I started. Yesterday I weighed in at 141! I have been on pain medicine and unable to go to the bathroom at all for two days, though, so I am hoping somehow I didn't gain 4 lb. back just from eating around 2,000 cal. for one day and 1,700 yesterday. I am back on track today.

Wish me luck. Pray I didn't gain that weight back and go to be hungry all week for nothing. (again?!)

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRYSTAL8488 10/24/2011 12:24PM

Don't get yourself down, you just had surgery! Wisdom teeth removal can be soooo painful. Not only that your taking pain medication which can cause constipation. Take it easy, watch what you eat and you'll get back on track! You can do it. :) Report Inappropriate Comment

WHITNEYLD 10/22/2011 10:40AM

Thanks, guys. Report Inappropriate Comment

FIREWORK20 10/22/2011 10:17AM

But you had surgery!!! That's not a normal part of life and honestly I wouldn't worry about it at all! It isn't as though you are going to have to deal with something like that very often. And I'm glad the surgery went well! And can I just say... mmm that food from the restaurant sounds GOOD! lol! Weight fluctuates a lot so I would not worry about it at all. Did you lose the first 3 pounds in 3 3/4 days? I hate to tell you this, but that was probably mostly water weight! And if it wasn't, then it's recommended that you only lose 1-2 pounds per week. Don't worry one little bit about the last few days and just start fresh! The surgery is behind you and you don't have to think about or be anxious about that! Have a great weekend! Report Inappropriate Comment

KTBDAY 10/22/2011 6:54AM

I'm sending you all my 'good luck' vibes. I know that I'm going to have a less-than-perfect day today myself, so I'm going to try and minimise the impact of my food decisions. It's hard, it's really hard, especially when temptations are everywhere. I really hope this habit-forming kicks in soon. It seems as though you're aware of your strengths and weaknesses, so don't give up. Even if you spend forever trying and then having small failures, it's still so much better than not trying at all. Report Inappropriate Comment

Does the Past Dictate the Future?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

"When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.” - this is a quote I just read on HS1056's profile. WOW! Perfectly true in every way - this really epitomizes my thoughts lately. I have been both depressed and anxious recently over such thoughts.

I realized the other day that I have not stayed on track eating-wise and exercise-wise for more than a couple of days in a row for YEARS. It seems like the more often I have tried to go on different "diets," or rather, healthy eating plans (whether I include exercise or not), I have always gone back to my old ways immediately. I haven't stayed on a diet for a whole week in YEARS. Talk about a self-esteem blow.

What makes this time any different? I don't know. I have started over on this website so many times; I come on Sparkpeople for a week or so, even if I don't stick to my diet, and then I disappear for one or more months. The past few months of my inconsistency are about the most consistent I have been on here. The only thing different is that I have still kept doing some sort of exercise every day for almost two weeks. Plus, this is day 4 of me sticking to my diet! I have already made it about twice as long as usual.

The crux of this situation is that tomorrow, I am having my wisdom teeth surgically excised and I won't be able to get out and exercise tomorrow. I am being put completely under for the surgery and I really won't be able to eat tomorrow either. Soft foods only for a few days following. I am super nervous. The procedure is horrifying to read about, and I am a big baby when it come to bone saws. God help me.